DO I POOP WRONG?

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Replies

  • ewhsweets
    ewhsweets Posts: 167 Member
    What is very interesting is that Arabic toilets are essentially a toilet burried in the ground that you squat over...very odd the first time you need to use one.

    Middle Eastern Societies have been around for thousands of years...perhaps their longevity can be attributed to their relief methods.
  • JimLeonardRN
    JimLeonardRN Posts: 296 Member
    But this only applies to men. Correct? Because we all know women don't poop... or fart... or belch for that matter.

    You obviously have never been with a woman more then a few hours.

    Well after the first hour the rate goes up. Right?
  • ewhsweets
    ewhsweets Posts: 167 Member
    Bump so this thread lives on. I nominate for "Funniest Thread of the Year".

    Ditto. :heart:

    BUMP!
  • Chinadorian
    Chinadorian Posts: 200 Member
    bump
  • intend2
    intend2 Posts: 29
    omg. I am dying here. I went to India last April where people squat to poop everywhere. I will take a stall any day TYVM...my friend from Japan though, once told me she squats with her feet on the toilet so she doesn't get germs. Little does she know she is pooping correctly.
  • Onaughmae
    Onaughmae Posts: 873 Member
    LMAO...too funny!
  • dawLs
    dawLs Posts: 84
    Haha! This is great!!!
    Oh man, when I lived in China, I actually had to use a tall bucket on a busy sidewalk behind a bamboo screen more than once. And a trough. And once at a beer festival, where there wasn't enough stalls, the other women gave up on waiting in line and just started peeing beside the sinks.
    And I totally saw kids squat and poo in the middle of the sidewalk. One time it was in front of the Pizza Hut entrance. Hmm.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    Remind me never to go to any of these countries.
  • HealthyBodySickMind
    HealthyBodySickMind Posts: 1,207 Member
    Is this why it's easier when I **** in the woods?
  • avasano
    avasano Posts: 487 Member
    This *kitten* is too funny
  • emczech5
    emczech5 Posts: 224 Member
    I'm laughing so hard I have tears running down my face and at almost 9 months pregnant I better quit laughing and run to the bathroom soon so I don't end up with tears running down my legs too.
  • HealthyBodySickMind
    HealthyBodySickMind Posts: 1,207 Member
    I squatted a lot throughout Asia last year, and I tell you now I'd rather have pooper problems than squat over a hole in the ground again... if you don't have good aim or explosive anything then it's gonna end up down your leg, over your trousers and it's a delightful smell to be carrying around with you all day. The other problem is your legs can get tired if you're going for a marathon dump so you rush things along, which isn't a good thing... A good old seat and newspaper is the way forward... a nice leisurely poop to start the day right instead of balancing on the edge of doom trying to get your aim straight!

    This is my favourite post on this entire forum.

    Sir, you deserve a medal.

    I am no sir... I am a lady... But I will take your medal because I feel like I took risks with my life in these places! The best place was on trains in India... that is just a hole in the floor with the tracks going past and being thrown about by the train... forget the fact these places don't do toilet roll, it's a left hand wash/wipe job unless I've passed through somewhere with paper and nicked it... I still steal toilet roll now months after leaving...

    She doesn't know how to use the sea shells, hahaha.
  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
    But this only applies to men. Correct? Because we all know women don't poop... or fart... or belch for that matter.

    Those are called blowup dolls.... and if they fart you need a new one

    Well thank you gorilla. I am glad someone talks sence x :love:
  • PamelaKuz
    PamelaKuz Posts: 191 Member
    No.

    Most people do not sit on the toilet with exceptional back posture as though they are the Queen of England. Leaning forward fulfills the same positioning as a traditional squat when it comes to excretion.

    What? I thought you were supposed to, it is called the Throne, isn't it?

    Someone better contact the queen and tell her to lean forward!
  • HealthyBodySickMind
    HealthyBodySickMind Posts: 1,207 Member
    It's Friday, and I need this thread up and running.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    It's Friday, and I need this thread up and running.

    Are you sure "running" is what you are going for here? Try prune juice.
  • MissyJessy
    MissyJessy Posts: 1,279 Member
    I stand and put one foot up on the sink.

    Do I win?

    No. Because I poop in my microwave. That's the only thing that deathbox is safe for.

    I win

    YEAHHH Fist bump on bringing back the Deathbox term again! EFF YEAH
  • dschassie
    dschassie Posts: 192 Member
    This is by FAR the funniest "s-h-i-t" I have seen on MFP. You can't help but read the hole darn thread and laugh so hard. I would now consider myself a well-educated pooper!
  • chrissyw63
    chrissyw63 Posts: 147 Member
    Knowedge for life!

    I just spent a good five minutes crying from all the laughing. I guess I missed the grown up bus somewhere ... Glad I did though otherwise I'd never of known all these fancy poop tricks!
  • goddessofsewing
    goddessofsewing Posts: 110 Member
    Please, PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one to find the videos on the original article. No need to read or watch, just scroll down to the videos and look at the expression on the guy's face: hemorrhoids and relief. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/12/03/toilet-squatting-position.aspx
  • cmpollard01
    cmpollard01 Posts: 246
    I am crying from laughing so hard ... this thread made my entire day :smooched:

    I am in the same condition...with 3 people looking at me like I've lost my mind.

    At least now I know what I've been doing wrong all this time! :sad:
  • PottsvilleCurse1925
    PottsvilleCurse1925 Posts: 354 Member
    *bump*
  • BACONJOKESRSOFUNNY
    BACONJOKESRSOFUNNY Posts: 666 Member
    Thank God for this info! A TRUE LIFESAVER!
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    My *kitten* thanks you all. TWSS
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
    I lived in China for a year and I now live in Japan... In China it was almost exclusively squat toilets and, although I HATED them, my thighs got pretty strong.
    There's less of them here in Japan, but they still taunt me from the stalls occasionally... YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO SQUAAAAT.
  • fIashforward
    fIashforward Posts: 66 Member
    Read this a few years ago but you can't read the paper as easily if you're quatting icer a hole in the ground lol
  • tommygirl15
    tommygirl15 Posts: 1,012 Member
    Well, that was 15 minutes of my life I'll never get back.
  • PottsvilleCurse1925
    PottsvilleCurse1925 Posts: 354 Member
    *bump*
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    bump
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
    While I've never actually tried to squat to poop, I've certainly tried to squat while trying to write my name in the snow. My first name is Carolyn. My thighs went into vapor lock on the upswing of the letter "l", so I ended up toppling over into the snow, getting a slight case of frost bite in a very private area. However, I got a big laugh at the gyno's office when I told him the story. I even worked the term "papsicle" into the conversation.

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