DO I POOP WRONG?

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  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
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    I squatted a lot throughout Asia last year, and I tell you now I'd rather have pooper problems than squat over a hole in the ground again... if you don't have good aim or explosive anything then it's gonna end up down your leg, over your trousers and it's a delightful smell to be carrying around with you all day. The other problem is your legs can get tired if you're going for a marathon dump so you rush things along, which isn't a good thing... A good old seat and newspaper is the way forward... a nice leisurely poop to start the day right instead of balancing on the edge of doom trying to get your aim straight!

    This is my favourite post on this entire forum.

    Sir, you deserve a medal.
  • tsh0ck
    tsh0ck Posts: 1,970 Member
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    on all this this topic, I refer to MLB great george brett

    (language NSFW)


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6hu4aLXv7U
  • bridgelene
    bridgelene Posts: 358 Member
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    I nominate this for best thread ever.
  • Litlbeast
    Litlbeast Posts: 340 Member
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    I love you guys. :happy:
  • briannadunn
    briannadunn Posts: 841 Member
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    I squatted a lot throughout Asia last year, and I tell you now I'd rather have pooper problems than squat over a hole in the ground again... if you don't have good aim or explosive anything then it's gonna end up down your leg, over your trousers and it's a delightful smell to be carrying around with you all day. The other problem is your legs can get tired if you're going for a marathon dump so you rush things along, which isn't a good thing... A good old seat and newspaper is the way forward... a nice leisurely poop to start the day right instead of balancing on the edge of doom trying to get your aim straight!
    My Cousin would second this, she wore dresses just not to make a mess.
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
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    I read on Mercola that microwave radiation affects the brain so that it becomes impossible to squat and poop properly - which is why we sit.

    Get rid of the microwave and squat - those are the keys to long, healthy life. Totally legit.
  • fattypattybinger
    fattypattybinger Posts: 337
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    Nothing like flying into Hong Kong and walking in and seeing a whole in the ground. Of course I wasn't warned about it either.
  • TheFunBun
    TheFunBun Posts: 793 Member
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    Half of this misc section on bodybuilding.com has switched to the squat toilet.

    If you used it, you'd know. **** is amazing.

    Also, even if the colon cancer correlation in squatting vs non squatting countries has nothing to do with squatting and everything to do with diet, the act of pooping is like 200x better while squatting.
  • _Bob_
    _Bob_ Posts: 1,487 Member
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    Regular poopers are so up tight

    Squatting-wordle.png
  • GeekGirl23
    GeekGirl23 Posts: 517 Member
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    squatty-potty.jpg

    She looks so comfortable... Im going to rush our and get the squatty potty

    And so happy... I want to look that happy going poop in my white pants
  • pullipgirl
    pullipgirl Posts: 767 Member
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    you are supposed to poop facing the toilet not away
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
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    I DONT WANT TO DRIVE A CAR WITHOUT RELEASING THE PARKING BREAK!!!!!

    I did that today!! It was frustrating. I was like "Oh no! What is wrong with my car??" Then it was "What's that red light on the dash...oooohhh..... Ya, brakes." Then it was smooth sailing the rest the way home.
  • KarmaxKitty
    KarmaxKitty Posts: 901 Member
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    Someone said something about snacks?!?!?! WHERE??? :P
  • GeekGirl23
    GeekGirl23 Posts: 517 Member
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    But this only applies to men. Correct? Because we all know women don't poop... or fart... or belch for that matter.

    You obviously have never been with a woman more then a few hours.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
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    I stand and put one foot up on the sink.

    Do I win?

    No. Because I poop in my microwave. That's the only thing that deathbox is safe for.

    I win
    Maybe we should use the microwave as a foot support for a squatty potty contraption, like the happy girl in the white pants.
    The death box would then be a Happy Squatty Box
  • Yaya1976
    Yaya1976 Posts: 357 Member
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    WOW.
    No other words...LOL :noway:
  • n2thenight24
    n2thenight24 Posts: 1,651 Member
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    I stand and put one foot up on the sink.

    Do I win?

    No. Because I poop in my microwave. That's the only thing that deathbox is safe for.

    I win
    Maybe we should use the microwave as a foot support for a squatty potty contraption, like the happy girl in the white pants.
    The death box would then be a Happy Squatty Box

    ^^You Win
  • Ke11yJo
    Ke11yJo Posts: 141
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    I am crying from laughing so hard ... this thread made my entire day :smooched:
  • laughingdani
    laughingdani Posts: 2,275 Member
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    I squatted a lot throughout Asia last year, and I tell you now I'd rather have pooper problems than squat over a hole in the ground again... if you don't have good aim or explosive anything then it's gonna end up down your leg, over your trousers and it's a delightful smell to be carrying around with you all day. The other problem is your legs can get tired if you're going for a marathon dump so you rush things along, which isn't a good thing... A good old seat and newspaper is the way forward... a nice leisurely poop to start the day right instead of balancing on the edge of doom trying to get your aim straight!

    It was the same way the Summer I went to Ukraine. They didn't have toilets, they had squat holes.
    Why didn't anyone tell me this?!
  • gotogirl81
    gotogirl81 Posts: 278 Member
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    I nominate this for best thread ever.

    2nd that.


    also..speaking of pooping. i just watched my niece, she's 9 months old. she's got it easy wearing her diaper and not having to worry about it not coming out right or if she's positioned right. she just smiles and giggles even when sitting in diaper full of poo..

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