I don't want to see you anymore...
Replies
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Post-it. "It's not you, it's me".
^^Or this *snort*0 -
Why would someone using this site for change and embracing reality hide behind fear and social feelings just to make a guy guess and eventually hurt. Act like a big girl and tell him. Honesty is so much better than fear and unknowing.
A MILLION TIMES THIS!! Whatever happened to simple (not brutal) honesty? There are just too many games played on both sides.
Don't overthink it, just take a sec and think about how would you like to be treated if the roles were reversed. Would you rather be strung along for days/weeks/months with unanswered calls and unreturned texts (something that a LOT of women incessantly complain about) or would you rather be told the truth EARLY ON in a compassionate yet firm way?
Good luck... however you proceed...0 -
You've only been out a few times, so maybe just text him and say something like, "Sorry, I don't things will work out between us. I'm not really ready to be this involved with someone." Or something of the sort.0
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Oh GOd I hate having "the Talk" - last one ended with a beating on my hotel door at 2am 3 states from his and mine hometown (when I was doing state to state travel work) I ignored went back to sleep woke up got ready for work was leaving thinking he finally left and to my surprise got pushed back in the room by my throat, then threatened "if I can't have you no one can" bs. i dialed 911 while he had me against the wall cursing and threatening me. the cops and his jail sentence made it easier from that point on.....
good luck!
well, that sounds like a fun work day..... seriously, I hope you never heard from that creeper again.
nope been jail every since....0 -
I agree also to simply be up front and honest. I'd wanna know and not get "blown" off .. especially if we've slept together ..(funny how sex messes stuff up like that) At least tell me it's not jiving. You don't have to be cruel, and honesty isn't gonna give me warm fuzzies, but at least I can be thankful that you didn't waste my time dragging it out and let me loose to get over it and move on.
Anyhoo .. be honest .. tell him you are looking for someone that's not so clingy/needy and as sweet as he is, he's just too much of a pushover for your liking. Tell him the last thing you want is to end up taking advantage of him and walking all over him like a door mat.
Thanks for the good times .. but I do not want to go out with you anymore. End of story. If he bothers you after that.. then ignore and don't respond to his calls and texts.0 -
Just be truthful , don't beat around the bush ... "Hey I'm sorry but this is not working out "
GOOD LUCK :bigsmile:0 -
Some times you just have to be blunt. If it hurts him, well that's a part of life. I find the "ignoring phone calls and texts" way a bit cowardly. Just get it over with you'll feel better.0
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Anyhoo .. be honest .. tell him you are looking for someone that's not so clingy/needy and as sweet as he is, he's just too much of a pushover for your liking. Tell him the last thing you want is to end up taking advantage of him and walking all over him like a door mat.
While I believe in honesty, I don't think she needs to be THAT honest.0 -
Then say "Playaz gotta play, all day erry day" and pop your collar.
Bahahahaha awesome.....
I know. This response makes me love her.
I was spectacularly sh*tty at breaking up with people, from what I recall, but that doesn't make it an optional activity. Cast me as another vote for "I really enjoyed getting to know you. I think you're a really nice guy but I don't think our personalities are a great fit and I just don't see this going anywhere."0 -
Bump0
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If you just abruptly stop communicating, he'll probably think you're dead. Be a big girl and tell him. It's not your responsibility how he reacts. At least you had enough respect to do the right thing, if not for him than for yourself. It's called 'integrity'.0
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I didnt always say anything. I just never answered the phone and waited for them to stop calling.
Yea I know its not right, but I just didnt wanna bother having "the talk"
That's juvenile.
Just tell him you're not interested in him, that you had fun but you don't feel that it will go anywhere. Be honest. Would oulikeit if someonenjust stopped answering your phones or texts simply because they didn't want to be honest with you? IMO ignoring someone makes it hurt worse.
Man up and have a chat with him.0 -
Honesty is hands down the best policy.0
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If you just abruptly stop communicating, he'll probably think you're dead. Be a big girl and tell him. It's not your responsibility how he reacts. At least you had enough respect to do the right thing, if not for him than for yourself. It's called 'integrity'.
They've been on three dates. He'd probably figure out she's ignoring him. I've had the silent treatment before. It sucks a lot more than if she'd just texted back..'Not Interested."
But I agree that the respectful thing to do is let him somehow know you're not interested. If the OP has been planning everything anyway, what are the chances he's going to try to set something up anyway?0 -
another thing that makes guys run is too much attention... if you start to call him all the time and keep him on the phone and become an A class clinger... he'll run like hell!
not true! i did this with my ex (because i was in the same position as the OP) and it made it 1,000 times worse!0 -
Why cant people just sit down with someone and look them in the eye and tell the frigging truth? Whats to be afraid of?This poor guy! Yes, its not the easiest option, but its the RIGHT one. God, society is so messed up.
Put your big girl panties on! From the look of how people act these days all sneaky and dismissive and passive aggressive, im not even sure they sell them anymore.... A majority of people acting a certain way doesnt make it right.
Tell him, nicely, but in no uncertain terms, what the issue is. face to face. In person. with vocal words. Dont be a *****, just be honest.
Why is it so hard to take a stand an be an upstanding honest person? I rejected so many guys, and never once did i ever just let them fall off with no notice, that **** is cruel and disrespectful.
Edited to add that Op CLEARLY stated they have been on more than 3 dates, but SHE PLANNED, 3 dates. Pay attention.
'omg tl, dr' derp, hurr hurr hurr....'0 -
I had to do this this weekend. I was honest and told him that I didnt have that 'feeling' for him. Kinda sucks but hey it is what it is. Just be honest, you are not willing to settle and you want that special connection and its just not there for you. Dont drag it out, that just makes things worse. He's a big boy and will get over it. Good luck.0
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Even though I live in a city, it's kind of a small town city, and I always run into people. So, I always feel like I have to resolve things or it gets weird. And, it seems like everyone knows everyone. So, you have to be cool. Sometimes you date someone and have no idea they are your best friends SIL or something. LOL. It happens.0
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Also, if a man can't plan at least the first 3 dates MINIMUM, he's def not worth seeing!
[/quote]
Where is this written?0 -
Why cant people just sit down with someone and look them in the eye and tell the frigging truth? Whats to be afraid of?This poor guy! Yes, its not the easiest option, but its the RIGHT one. God, society is so messed up.
Put your big girl panties on! From the look of how people act these days all sneaky and dismissive and passive aggressive, im not even sure they sell them anymore.... A majority of people acting a certain way doesnt make it right.
Tell him, nicely, but in no uncertain terms, what the issue is. face to face. In person. with vocal words. Dont be a *****, just be honest.
Why is it so hard to take a stand an be an upstanding honest person? I rejected so many guys, and never once did i ever just let them fall off with no notice, that **** is cruel and disrespectful.
Edited to add that Op CLEARLY stated they have been on more than 3 dates, but SHE PLANNED, 3 dates. Pay attention.
'omg tl, dr' derp, hurr hurr hurr....'
True , I Heart u
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So, I will tell him tonight. I will call him and talk to him that way. I do not want to see him...thatwill exascerbate things. I don't want to text him as that would be too impersonal. He deserves a phone call at the least....
Response to me planning the dates: He did plan the last 2 that we went on but not without me giving him a few ideas first. I need a guy who is take charge, makes plans for us, and will tell me what he wants. NOT just a pushover who says "whatever you want: all the time...I need a man with a backbone...0 -
So, I will tell him tonight. I will call him and talk to him that way. I do not want to see him...thatwill exascerbate things. I don't want to text him as that would be too impersonal. He deserves a phone call at the least....
Response to me planning the dates: He did plan the last 2 that we went on but not without me giving him a few ideas first. I need a guy who is take charge, makes plans for us, and will tell me what he wants. NOT just a pushover who says "whatever you want: all the time...I need a man with a backbone...
Good.0 -
If you just abruptly stop communicating, he'll probably think you're dead. Be a big girl and tell him. It's not your responsibility how he reacts. At least you had enough respect to do the right thing, if not for him than for yourself. It's called 'integrity'.
They've been on three dates. He'd probably figure out she's ignoring him. I've had the silent treatment before. It sucks a lot more than if she'd just texted back..'Not Interested."
But I agree that the respectful thing to do is let him somehow know you're not interested. If the OP has been planning everything anyway, what are the chances he's going to try to set something up anyway?
OP says:
It does say her post was edited, so she may have included this later.Claririfcation: We have been on more than 3 dates..but I planned the first 3....0 -
just call him and say its not going to work. Easy. Done.0
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Also, if a man can't plan at least the first 3 dates MINIMUM, he's def not worth seeing!Where is this written?
Sweetie...that is no the point. The point is he asked ME out...if YOU ask ME out...then I would expect you would plan the night. If I asked you out then I would pan the date...(and I have asked a few guys out).\
Then after the first date..he said he would like to go out again..I again said yes (this time thinking since he knew a little more about me would plan a date)...NOPE...he wanted me to make the plans again...finally after the 3rd date, I told him to stop being so wishy-washy and plan a night out for us or a day out......0 -
ehh, well see if you tell him its cause he's a push over, you could've just created the *kitten* symdrome.. aka used to be the nice guy that's now a *kitten* because of all the girls telling him he was to nice.. yeah,i've seen it happen. TOO MUCH!0
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So, I will tell him tonight. I will call him and talk to him that way. I do not want to see him...thatwill exascerbate things. I don't want to text him as that would be too impersonal. He deserves a phone call at the least....
Response to me planning the dates: He did plan the last 2 that we went on but not without me giving him a few ideas first. I need a guy who is take charge, makes plans for us, and will tell me what he wants. NOT just a pushover who says "whatever you want: all the time...I need a man with a backbone...
Probably a good call. I didn't realize the OP was edited to state there more than 3 dates, etc., so the least he deserves is a phone call with the honest truth, just not brutally honest. Like, no need to be entirely detailed, just plain and simple that its just not going where you had hoped it would go and you wish him luck. Period.0 -
Definitely start the conversation with "It's not me, it's you..."0
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I didnt always say anything. I just never answered the phone and waited for them to stop calling.
Yea I know its not right, but I just didnt wanna bother having "the talk"
if its only been a few dates, then this.... let him get the hint. It's not cool, but neither is seeing a grown man cry.
The problem is (and I hate to say it) but I tried this already for the last 3 days...it just casues him to call and text me more and more...it has to stop.
you'll have to have the talk. or you could just text
:laugh:
Now that is funny! Cruel, but funny.0 -
If you stop planning dates, that should end that.
You said you always planned the dates....well stop calliing him. If he calls you treat him like you would want to be treated in the same situation. Be honest.0
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