I don't want to see you anymore...

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  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    I normally tell them, i want to be friends. Then they turn crazy bat psycho and showing up in the middle of the night ringing my doorbell and constantly texting me to hang out. Then i realized the best way for me now is to start a fight and end it bad or end it like im the bad person.

    Why are women nuts?

    uh, where are you finding these "women"? Maybe stop going there....

    NYC, where i meet all of them. They are all crazy.. My favorite was my recent one, my father was diagnosed with cancer and i went on a date twice with this woman, she was cool. I told her i was going out to southampton where my parents live and she started fighting with me saying some crazy stuff about my parents. thinking i was going to see another woman. Sunday came along i got home around 3pm and she was sitting at my front door tapping her foot. I walked past her like she was a tree, walked into my house, sat down and started watching the movie the money pit, it was on cinemax, i was laughing at the part when the bath tub fell through the floor, while im laughing my *kitten* off, she kept rining my bell, i disconnected my bell which is right when you walk in, i just pulled the wire. Then she called me and texted me and finally left. The texts were all mean calling me a ahole and so on. Then 2 days later, she said she missed me and wants to get back together when we literally went on 2 dinner dates.

    I have so many other crazy stories.. especially first date ones. Why cant i just meet "the one" get married have 2 to 3 kids and have a movie ending.

    I'm sorry. I laughed. Seriously, someone did that? For real? You're kidding, right?
  • DistantJ
    DistantJ Posts: 155 Member
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    NYC, where i meet all of them. They are all crazy.. My favorite was my recent one, my father was diagnosed with cancer and i went on a date twice with this woman, she was cool. I told her i was going out to southampton where my parents live and she started fighting with me saying some crazy stuff about my parents. thinking i was going to see another woman. Sunday came along i got home around 3pm and she was sitting at my front door tapping her foot. I walked past her like she was a tree, walked into my house, sat down and started watching the movie the money pit, it was on cinemax, i was laughing at the part when the bath tub fell through the floor, while im laughing my *kitten* off, she kept rining my bell, i disconnected my bell which is right when you walk in, i just pulled the wire. Then she called me and texted me and finally left. The texts were all mean calling me a ahole and so on. Then 2 days later, she said she missed me and wants to get back together when we literally went on 2 dinner dates.

    I have so many other crazy stories.. especially first date ones. Why cant i just meet "the one" get married have 2 to 3 kids and have a movie ending.

    You want to meet "the one," get married and have a few kids? Move to Utah...you're every young woman's dream out here!
  • Countryboy_
    Countryboy_ Posts: 618
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    How do you tell someone that you have been seeing that you don't want to see them anymore? I have gone out a few times with a new guy.

    I LOVE to go out with my friends and/or my sister to go eat, go dancing, bowling movies or whatever...2x a week or so...he barely wants to go out and do ANYTHING. It was like pulling teeth getting him to plan a date for us. I planned the first 3....

    He is a little bit of a pushover....okay a BIG pushover. I do not want a guy that I can walk all over. I need someone who will push back a little, let me know what he wants, and we make a compromise.

    He is sweet, overall, has a good heart, but it won't work with us as a couple.....

    I hate that no matter what I say, it will hurt him..but is there any way to help ease the pain a little...?? I know he likes and cares for me a lot...he has told me so.

    when you figure this out....let me know...

    i have a hanger on that didn't understand my "I'm not interested in seeing you anymore" speech.


    Try 10% oleoresin capsicum. Works every time.
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
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    You're awesome, but I don't feel anything when I'm with you. You deserve sparks.

    Then say "Playaz gotta play, all day erry day" and pop your collar.

    Bahahahaha awesome.....

    OP, I can't stand pushover guys either.
    He's gotta be able to take charge, plan stuff, etc...

    I have dated guys like that before. And while it's easier to just not return calls, it's kinder to actually confront the situation and let him know whats going on.

    A simple text or phone call will suffice. Just say, "I have really enjoyed your company, you are a nice sweet guy, but you aren't the guy for me. If you want to remain friends, I'm fine with that. Otherwise, I wish you well in life, take care."

    I have used that before and have gotten positive responses from that. I actually got a really great close guy friend from that. We went out for like 2-3 weeks, but I wasn't into it and I told him. We became really great friends. :smile:

    It's hard, because you don't want to hurt the other person. Especially if you know that person to be kind, sweet, etc... But bottom line, it's kinder to let him down gently but straightforward, then to beat around the bush or just disappear.

    Plus it makes for less awkward situations if you just so happen to run into him when you are out somewhere. :wink:

    Good luck!
  • lglg11
    lglg11 Posts: 344 Member
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    Probably not the best person to chime in .. it took me 7 years to GET a damn date and that was this passed weekend and it didn't end well.

    but anyway.

    Just be honest. I hate over thinking things, it's just as bad as playing games. Tell him you think he's a great guy just not for you.

    Or maybe great is too important of a word, say nice.

    But end it for real so he doesn't linger
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    Just break up
    Yaaaaaaaaay!!! \m/
  • kmorg22
    kmorg22 Posts: 180
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    Oh GOd I hate having "the Talk" - last one ended with a beating on my hotel door at 2am 3 states from his and mine hometown (when I was doing state to state travel work) I ignored went back to sleep woke up got ready for work was leaving thinking he finally left and to my surprise got pushed back in the room by my throat, then threatened "if I can't have you no one can" bs. i dialed 911 while he had me against the wall cursing and threatening me. the cops and his jail sentence made it easier from that point on.....

    good luck!
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
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    Post-it. "It's not you, it's me".
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    These specific words are the best way I have ever found: "I have enjoyed getting to know you, I just don't see this progressing romantically, for me, at this time." Just say it firmly, as many times as needed. It hits all your bases, and there isn't much that can be said to question it.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    Oh GOd I hate having "the Talk" - last one ended with a beating on my hotel door at 2am 3 states from his and mine hometown (when I was doing state to state travel work) I ignored went back to sleep woke up got ready for work was leaving thinking he finally left and to my surprise got pushed back in the room by my throat, then threatened "if I can't have you no one can" bs. i dialed 911 while he had me against the wall cursing and threatening me. the cops and his jail sentence made it easier from that point on.....

    good luck!


    well, that sounds like a fun work day..... seriously, I hope you never heard from that creeper again.
  • lglg11
    lglg11 Posts: 344 Member
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    Post-it. "It's not you, it's me".

    ^^Or this *snort*
  • coolraul07
    coolraul07 Posts: 1,606 Member
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    Why would someone using this site for change and embracing reality hide behind fear and social feelings just to make a guy guess and eventually hurt. Act like a big girl and tell him. Honesty is so much better than fear and unknowing.

    A MILLION TIMES THIS!! Whatever happened to simple (not brutal) honesty? There are just too many games played on both sides.

    Don't overthink it, just take a sec and think about how would you like to be treated if the roles were reversed. Would you rather be strung along for days/weeks/months with unanswered calls and unreturned texts (something that a LOT of women incessantly complain about) or would you rather be told the truth EARLY ON in a compassionate yet firm way?

    Good luck... however you proceed...
  • aloranger7708
    aloranger7708 Posts: 422 Member
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    You've only been out a few times, so maybe just text him and say something like, "Sorry, I don't things will work out between us. I'm not really ready to be this involved with someone." Or something of the sort.
  • kmorg22
    kmorg22 Posts: 180
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    Oh GOd I hate having "the Talk" - last one ended with a beating on my hotel door at 2am 3 states from his and mine hometown (when I was doing state to state travel work) I ignored went back to sleep woke up got ready for work was leaving thinking he finally left and to my surprise got pushed back in the room by my throat, then threatened "if I can't have you no one can" bs. i dialed 911 while he had me against the wall cursing and threatening me. the cops and his jail sentence made it easier from that point on.....

    good luck!


    well, that sounds like a fun work day..... seriously, I hope you never heard from that creeper again.

    nope been jail every since....
  • Katbody10
    Katbody10 Posts: 369 Member
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    I agree also to simply be up front and honest. I'd wanna know and not get "blown" off .. especially if we've slept together ..(funny how sex messes stuff up like that) At least tell me it's not jiving. You don't have to be cruel, and honesty isn't gonna give me warm fuzzies, but at least I can be thankful that you didn't waste my time dragging it out and let me loose to get over it and move on.

    Anyhoo .. be honest .. tell him you are looking for someone that's not so clingy/needy and as sweet as he is, he's just too much of a pushover for your liking. Tell him the last thing you want is to end up taking advantage of him and walking all over him like a door mat.

    Thanks for the good times .. but I do not want to go out with you anymore. End of story. If he bothers you after that.. then ignore and don't respond to his calls and texts.
  • bbgughj
    bbgughj Posts: 219 Member
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    Just be truthful , don't beat around the bush ... "Hey I'm sorry but this is not working out "




    GOOD LUCK :bigsmile:
  • CyeRyn
    CyeRyn Posts: 389 Member
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    Some times you just have to be blunt. If it hurts him, well that's a part of life. I find the "ignoring phone calls and texts" way a bit cowardly. Just get it over with you'll feel better.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    Anyhoo .. be honest .. tell him you are looking for someone that's not so clingy/needy and as sweet as he is, he's just too much of a pushover for your liking. Tell him the last thing you want is to end up taking advantage of him and walking all over him like a door mat.

    While I believe in honesty, I don't think she needs to be THAT honest.
  • valeriebpdx
    valeriebpdx Posts: 499 Member
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    Then say "Playaz gotta play, all day erry day" and pop your collar.

    Bahahahaha awesome.....

    I know. This response makes me love her.

    I was spectacularly sh*tty at breaking up with people, from what I recall, but that doesn't make it an optional activity. Cast me as another vote for "I really enjoyed getting to know you. I think you're a really nice guy but I don't think our personalities are a great fit and I just don't see this going anywhere."
  • TheRealJigsaw
    TheRealJigsaw Posts: 295 Member
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    Bump

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