How to handle co-worker sabotage?

Cat1094

Okay, my co-workers aren't intentionally sabotaging me, but I find myself bombarded with junk food offers nearly everyday. Chips, candy, cookies, cakes... and of course it's worse now during the holidays. Sometimes it's homemade goodies and I don't want to hurt anyones feelings. Sometimes it's the "if I eat one, you have to" angle (trying to sharing the guilt?).

How do you handle co-worker sabotage? Just trying to get some new ideas from how other handle this sort of thing. Maybe a new line to use to politely turn down the junk? Maybe a new way to explain why I'm not interested, without getting into details?

So... chime in and let me hear some of your experiences and answers to this never ending problem!

-Cat

katakism

OMG I have this same issue, one of my co-workers goes to Costco and buys gigantic packs of sugary candy things. She's a bit sort of mumsie to the guys I work with.
I used to take them, just a jelly snake or something, but now, just say, thank you but I do not want it.
Also mention that you are going sugar free. Or gluten free.
If it is handmade, I know it's hard to say no, they put a lot of effort in, say 'ok just half' or 'a small slice'
If they say, if I have one you have one! No, let's go halvsies!

Hope this helps a little bit!

Skys_not_the_limit

This is probably not what you want to hear....
But.how much is that cookie worth?
Is it worth packing on another pound of fat.is it worth the guilt?is it worth having to "restart" your diet another day?
No.
So that's just what you have to say.
When you hear "do you want a brownie?there sooo good!!" You have to think about your ultimate goals.
Begin with the end in mind:)

Rayman79

You know whether these treats will fit into your daily allowance. If they do, have some, if not - don't!

It doesn't take long for people to realise you aren't interested in that food and will stop asking. In my case it has also come with some eye-rolling or comments about me being a salad eater or something else ridiculous.

Trust me, when the weight starts to come off their jealousy and asking you for advice will far outweigh any negative comments or judgements! :bigsmile:

gramacanada

I have a container of fresh fruits and vegetables on my desk and I always just say "No thanks I am changing the way I eat"
You don't have to feel bad if their feelings are hurt. Never apologize. Never explain. You don't owe them anything.
If they push it. Repeat again. " No thanks I am changing the way I eat. Smile and move on.
Don't eat anything at work you didn't bring with you. Otherwise it never stops.

gvnyc

I find responses like "I've already had so much Xmas junk food lately, I have to stop eating it at work!" or "no thanks, all this sugar has been giving me mood swings" don't invite the same attention as talking about a diet.

Slima37

Hi I'm new here

This has happened to me a lot, especially with so called close friends and it has kept me down for years... Well no more...

You have made the decision to lose weight because it makes you feel better about yourself, healthier etc... It's time to put you and your feelings first.

I don't know if you would consider this but now I just either ignore what they want me to do or just say no thank you and walk away. If they come on stronger with objections I'm just going to tell people to respect my choices or ping off....

I hope it works out for you

taramaureen

I just say no thank you and leave it at that. No explaination needed. If they're hurt about you not taking their food they have bigger issues at bay.

schondell

I have a container of fresh fruits and vegetables on my desk and I always just say "No thanks I am changing the way I eat"
You don't have to feel bad if their feelings are hurt. Never apologize. Never explain. You don't owe them anything.
If they push it. Repeat again. " No thanks I am changing the way I eat. Smile and move on.
Don't eat anything at work you didn't bring with you. Otherwise it never stops.

Solid advice!

Jennaissance

At my work, the goods always go in the same spot and I can avoid them if I take the back entrance! If I'm under serious pressure and don't wan't to upset someone, I cut off a TINY bite, tell them how good it is and then explain that I'm on a diet and can't have anymore. If they persist, I tell them that I'll take it and put it in my garbage can!

Jennaissance

Seriously, they usually stop pressuring when you tell them you'll throw it away!

onyxgirl17

Just say NO!

The only person who can sabotage your efforts is yourself.

AnvilHead

I used to work with a retired Marine who was a poster child for physical fitness and health. When goodies were getting passed around during the Christmas season, he'd always say "I don't put that poison in my body". He said it facetiously and with humor, and nobody took offense to it; in fact it became a standing joke amongst us - but we knew that he wouldn't/didn't eat that kind of stuff. Everybody respected that and didn't push it on him.

I'm not quite so iron-willed. I occasionally indulge, but if I'm not in the mood or feeling particularly vigilant that day, I just pat my stomach and say "Gotta watch my girlish figure". Keeps it light, but sends the message.

banks89202

I have had issues with that too, it doesn't matter how many times I tell them I am changing my eating habits they still push junk in my face. Ugh! Stay strong and if it fits in your calories and you think its worth it do it and if not dont

3foldchord

If it is just laying out, then don't take it. If it is given right to you, thank them , take a bite, and wrap it in a napkin and take it home. And feed it to the garbag disposal.

TheFitHooker

You are in control of what you put in your mouth. I work in the food industry most if not all the menu is not good for you. People bring treats to work all the time. It's up to me what I do with it all. I can't blame everyone else who isn't on this lifestyle. I have to do for me and let them live their life how they want to. I can only control what I do for my life.

EvgeniZyntx

I put large quantities of Milk of Magnesia in brownies and bring them to the office. Feed co-worker, problem solved for a few days.
Repeat each week.

If that doesn't work throw humor at them.

Sharkington

Can you just be honest and let them know that you are watching your calories/what you eat, but you appreciate the offer anyway? I am not sure if you want your coworkers knowing your business regarding that, though.

In the end, it really just comes down to having self control and saying no when people try to guilt you into eating. It's not really your job to eat something you don't really want in order to spare someone's feelings. Most people should understand if you say "no thanks" in a polite manner. (or at least, I would hope!) You can always say something like "Oh, I already ate lunch, but thanks anyway!"

Weighinginwithmy02

It's actually something that I practice ahead of time, in situations that I know I will run into food pushers. There are a lot of ways that you can approach it but you have to find one that works for you. I find that saying "oh wow, thanks but I just finished eating my snack and am stuffed" is a good way to start. Some people are STILL really insitant though. I can joke with them and call them pushy when they insist and make a joke of it but still not take the food.

Sometimes people, especially family, ARE trying to love/like you with food and you don't want to hurt their feelings so it's fine to take it and dump it when you can. Or if you can afford it, calorically speaking, take some and then make such a big deal to them about how good it was because honestly, that's the feedback they're wanting. Or you can say "oh I remember when you made that last year, it was so delicious, do you think I could take some home with me" so then you're not rejecting and you can choose what you'll do with it after they're gone (toss or eat later).

Domi_BTGfit

It was hard in the beginning, but after you say "no thank you" enough times, they just "get it". I'm now that person that everyone in my large office (300+ staff) knows as the 'weight loss guru' and nobody offers me anything tempting anymore. Sometimes it's a LITTLE annoying as I'm not on a diet, it was literally a lifestyle change, but they stop.

My recommendation to you is that you avoid the snacks table if it's a cocktail party, politely sing happy birthday for a colleague but return to your desk when the cake is served, avoid morning teas, order something healthy if you're out to lunch with colleagues or clients, always have a bottle or a glass of water on hand, and always be ready to say "no thank you" to that one person in the office who is jealous of your strong motivation to get healthier.

Congratulations for recognising this issue before the holidays really kick in and I wish you all the best with it!

AntWrig

I have a container of fresh fruits and vegetables on my desk and I always just say "No thanks I am changing the way I eat"
You don't have to feel bad if their feelings are hurt. Never apologize. Never explain. You don't owe them anything.
If they push it. Repeat again. " No thanks I am changing the way I eat. Smile and move on.
Don't eat anything at work you didn't bring with you. Otherwise it never stops.

Funny, some of the veggies are fruits have the same caloric value of cookie and cakes.

Oh the irony.

dhakiyya

when I used to live in Saudi I used to get this kind of thing all the time, and it wasn't sabotage, just Saudi hospitality. It's rude to refuse food (in Saudi culture) so I'd take some "for later" and put it in a small bag or wrap it in a napkin and put it in my handbag. By the end of a typical week I'd have a handbag full of all kinds of food that I took home "for later" and I'd stick it in the bin.

For homemade things where you don't want to cause offence, I'd suggest that. For other stuff just say "no thanks I'm not hungry right now." I find that "no thanks I'm trying to be healthy" is taken as meaning "yes I really want that but I'm depriving myself" and people feel bad for you so they offer it to you again or try to persuade you to eat it (in most cases this is done because they want you to be happy, in a few cases its deliberate sabotage, but most people are just trying to be nice but don't realise how important it is to you to stick to your eating plan) so you need to give them the message that you really don't want it and wouldn't enjoy it.

BebeStyles

I get the same from my boyfriend, it's always "Go on, one won't hurt you." or "It's the weekend, have a day off." You have to be firm, because most people don't know how hard you've worked and what they're doing can actually make you feel quite bad. Smack them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper if you have to and shout "No!" :P

celebrity328

I am allergic to wheat so it's been easy to pass on the goodies this year. My coworkers picked up on my "strange" eating habits and one of them asked me why I'm on a diet. I explained the reasons, now they make fun of my home cooked meals and trash talk behind my back honestly I guess it really depends on the maturity of coworks, mine seem to have none.

trobbin88

what about saying something like "ok, one brownie, i'll have it with my tea/coffee later". wrap it up, put it in your purse...give it to someone at home. everyone wins. although at my work, they just know me well enuff for me to say "not a chance".

Bethie_B

This happens to me all the time. For the past 9 months, I've kept saying "no, thank you" over and over again. They seem to get the point now, and have finally stopped offering me every goody that passes through the door. Stay strong.

robynj88

If you have a colleague who's trying to "share the guilt" as you put it then still say no, and act as a role model to them. This person is obviously trying to lose weight/be healthy themselves. Don't let them drag you down and at the same time show them that it's not hard to say no to treats!

kelly_e_montana

I have a container of fresh fruits and vegetables on my desk and I always just say "No thanks I am changing the way I eat"
You don't have to feel bad if their feelings are hurt. Never apologize. Never explain. You don't owe them anything.
If they push it. Repeat again. " No thanks I am changing the way I eat. Smile and move on.
Don't eat anything at work you didn't bring with you. Otherwise it never stops.

Funny, some of the veggies are fruits have the same caloric value of cookie and cakes.

Oh the irony.

Yes, but at least the fruits and vegetables help you meet your daily nutritional requirements as part of your overall diet. Calories aren't the only thing that matters in a healthy lifestyle.

sarahxx68

Honesty and self-control! One of my bosses is an awesome baker, always bringing in new goods for us to try. Our regular customers often buy us a bag of candy to keep around the office. I've started bringing my own snacks every day, even if I don't now if I'll be hungry. This way once those offers come around I can turn it down and grab my healthy snack instead. Luckily my coworkers are supportive of me once I say no, even after the initial teasing.

ctooch99

This is a personal Pet Peeve of mine and something that makes me really defensive. I cannot stand people who try to sabotage those of us trying to improve ourselves - nice or not they know what they are doing . To me it is no different than someone in a bar buying an alcoholic a drink.

My approach is an unapologetic one and I don't care who I piss off. Once someone is rejected I guarantee they won't offer you food again, so I feel the direct honest approach is best.

But what I have also found for pushy annoying types is to not take the soap box stance, but take a more non-threatening, passive stance in your response. If you are the type to lecture friends and co-workers on healthy eating, then human nature being what it is, they all silently want to see you fail in order to know that not even really fit healthy, people can avoid tasty junk food too - thus giving themselves justification to eat more crap.

So my approach goes something like this.
Fat Secretary - "Try my home made Smores you will LOVE them!"
Me - "Thanks, but I am good".
Fat Secretary "Oh c'mon, everyone loves chocolate and marshmallow - be honest - you are no better than the rest of us - you can afford one stupid smore - geez!"
Me- "Oh you are SO right Tenisha! I LOVE junk food! I would eat that whole plate of mouth watering smores all by myself. But I went to the doctor recently and he told me to watch my cholesterol and sugar, so as much as it kills me and as weak of a human being as I am, I am going to have to pass - I am really sorry they look absolutely delightful!"
Fat Secretary - "Oh that stinks - you are no fun!"
Me - "I know, I know - but hey it means there are more left for you and the other secretaries to enjoy! Smore On Tenisha!"

No one's quilting me into eating crap junk food I don't want to eat and I will spin it on them with a smile on my face and maintain my healthy regimen and no one gets offended in the process.

My 2 cents

OddballExtreme

I'm happy to say the majority of co-workers at my job have been nothing less than supportive of my own efforts. They all know I have Type 2 Diabetes and high blood pressure and understand I have to watch myself. They've all seen me lose the 47 pounds throughout 2012.

However, I did have one temp co-worker try to tempt me into eating a doughnut. I said, "It's got 21 carbs." She countered with, "No, it's got 21 calories, not 21 carbs." So, to satisfy myself, I just opened the box and took a whiff of the doughnuts. I'm happy to say that worked. If I hadn't already had breakfast at home, a doughnut would've actually been okay to eat. I'm so used to eating breakfast at home before I go to work, so having that extra doughnut would become counterproductive.

Several of the other temp co-workers actually wanted to know my secret to the weight loss, so I gave them info on watching how many carbs are eaten, sodium, etc. It's great to know I can help encourage others on the weight loss without pushing it on everyone.

The sad fact is every workplace will have at least one co-worker who wants to bring in the fatty, sugary foods. It's up to each of us individually to decide for ourselves if it's worth eating or something better to avoid in our continuous health and weight loss journey.