How to handle co-worker sabotage?

245

Replies

  • Actually, I wouldn't mind having a few of those home-made goodies myself. . .but here's the deal. I have to make smarter choices right now. I owe no one an explanation for my choices or behavior. If I convince MYSELF, that's half the battle. I've always associated food with anything for any reason. . . "it's the holidays - I can eat everything!" or "you can't not pig out on Thanksgiving!" or "Easter Candy only comes out once a year!". The bottom line is this: I can cook just about anything, and I can do it at any time of year, regardless of whether its a holiday or not. So. . .I'm going to forego those indulgences now, and if I want dark peanut butter fudge in July, I'll just waltz into the kitchen and make it. There went my "only once a year" theory. If I tell myself I can have any of these luxuries at any time of the year, those foods aren't so special at Christmas.

    As for your co-workers. . .just smile and say, "oh, can't do it right now. . .but thanks". And when they persist, smile and say, "seriously, I'm on a personal mission right now - I can use your support." You owe them no explanations, no justifications. You've refused, and that's that. I tend to be somewhat private about my weight loss anyway. I have lost 70 pounds now, and people notice, so I thank them for that. . .but I never run around howling to the moon about how much I've lost, or posting it on Facebook, or anything like that. I have to have my self-worth come from inside me, not from others' opinions of what I look like or how well I've done.

    The bottom line: it's all about me. Wow. . .42 years, and I've said it - I think I mean it this time!
  • magairlin
    magairlin Posts: 93 Member
    I told my co-worker ( who is very fat and constantly eating chocolate bars) that I have high cholesterol (not really true- maybe a tiny bit high) and that my father died of heart disease aged 50 and she doesn't try to tempt me so much now. She still occasionally wants me to have a chocolate bar but I never ever have one so she has pretty much got the message. It's a shame that I couldn't just say "no thank you " which is a polite reply and that I had to go into the story about my father's heart disease but sometimes that's the kind of thing you have to do to get the message across. I wouldn't take any of the stuff -not even half- I find if I put that sugary stuff into my body it craves more!! When goodies are laid out on the tea- table which they are regularly- I just done't go over there or if I want to get some tea I walk away quickly. My colleagues are now used to that and I think some of them secretly admire my discipline and they will admire yours too if you consistently stick to your resolve.Good luck
  • Shua89
    Shua89 Posts: 144 Member
    You really aren't hurting anyone's feelings if you simply say "no, thank you". They offer, you decline. No reason for hurt feelings over that.

    As far as handling the temptations you can't control them bringing stuff in, you can only control you. So every morning make a plan on how you're going to handle it. If you decide you want a treat go for it but make other changes in your day to allow for it. If you decide you don't want one then come up with a game plan before you even leave for work on how you are going to handle staying strong.

    There will always be goodies around, a big part of losing the weight and keeping it off is learning how to handle those temptations.
  • Carfoodel
    Carfoodel Posts: 481 Member
    I just say "you know what? I have had far too much sugary stuff lately so they look delicious but I have to say no"

    most people take that as a compliment and move on - It's a weird one that if people think you do eat that sort of stuff they are more willing to accept you saying no - it's when they think you are being ultra strict and saying you can never eat a bit of chocolate again that people want to make you have "just one wee bit" there is quite a bit of psychology in there lol

    - besides I get so much encouragement from my teammates, they are very used to me saying no, often they just go straight passed me now - its just about being clear on what you want - work is not really any different from temptation we get everywhere.
  • rapat
    rapat Posts: 108 Member
    Maybe I live in a different world, but I've never had coworkers who push sugary food onto others, make them feel guilty for not taking it, or feel insulted when people don't take it.

    Usually they just offer it up, and if you say "no thanks" they don't mind.

    I think taking it and giving it to someone else to not hurt their feelings seems worse as you'll then have to do it forever

    If you really need an excuse that's not just 'i'm trying to eat healthy' tell them you're training for a 5 or 10k or marathon and need to eat properly.
  • Gerald_King
    Gerald_King Posts: 2,031 Member
    Just say no thank you simple
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Just say "no thanks." As you say they're not trying to sabotage you, they're just being nice. It does get easier to say no the more times you have to do it.
  • Aello11
    Aello11 Posts: 312 Member
    Depends how many times the same person asks :wink:


    1st time - No thank you
    2nd --- emmm No
    3rd -- he!! no
    4th -- F... no
    5th -- No only has two letters which don't you understand
  • mfpseven
    mfpseven Posts: 421 Member
    always go with the "Oh, I had cake for breakfast if I have ___ I'll go into sugar shock" then you don't have hear the "oh but you don't need to diet"s
  • IronSmasher
    IronSmasher Posts: 3,908 Member
    Say no

    If they question, explain that you are better than them.
  • Tell them you gave up sweets for lent. ;)
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
    I bring my own delicious, healthy snacks to share. :smile: And sometimes, they will even come up and ask me for them..."hey, do you have any of that baba ghanouj stuff with you tonight?"
  • Have a stack of napkins at your desk and when offered, take one, leave it on the napkin and drop it in the trash when no one is looking and then say how yummy it was if asked. I do this ALL THE TIME! Two of my main bosses are serious bakers and they are very good at it, but I have had all their stuff before, I know what it tastes like and that's not what I want to choose for myself. There are two things that they bake for me, meaning, they know I love them. So, I took one, discreetly tossed it in th trash and proclaimed it marvelous! No one was the wiser. I have thrown away cake pops, candy, brownies, cookies, tarts and pie. No one knows it went in the trash and that don't have to, all they know is that I was happy to receive it and proclaimed it delicious. Don't let your desire to stay on track outweigh your ability to be kind.
  • maddieprice87
    maddieprice87 Posts: 56 Member
    I would bring healthy snacks but also bring in mini versions or low cal versions of 'treat' things- so if you DO get that sweet craving you're not faced with something that at best has a few hundred cals, at worst is home baked therefore you can't accurately gauge the calories in it. I've stocked up on mini packs of smarties and jellybeans that are 60-90 calories per packet. That way I know that even if I do have the whole packet, it's still only as many calories as I'd burn off walking for 20 minutes!
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
    Just lie. Say something like, "Oh God no. I just ate like a half a loaf of bread for breakfast." But thank you. Always be "soooo full"
  • Chikipiwi
    Chikipiwi Posts: 117 Member
    Peple feeling shouldnt get hurt just because you dont want to eat a cookie.... Just say no and walk away from the temptation
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    It may not be very nice for me to say, but I honestly do not believe that someone else can sabotage your efforts, unless they are literally holding a gun to your head. If it's simply a matter of your "being nice," then just say "No, thank you." If they refuse to accept that, then it's their problem, not yours. These are co-workers, not family members. You are under no obligation to be "nice," only professional.
  • IrishHarpy1
    IrishHarpy1 Posts: 399 Member
    Being an avid (and pretty darned good!) baker, *I* am one of "those people" who bring treats into the office on a regular basis. This time of year I do it more often, as I like to experiment with new recipes for the holidays.

    No, I am not trying to "sabotage" anyone -- it's just impossible for my husband and I to eat entire batches of things, and I'm not giving up doing something I love to do. However, I take every single recipe I make and enter it into the recipe calculator here on MFP. When I put the container out on my desk, I have a printout of all the nutritional stats right next to it so people can make a more informed decision as to whether or not they want to have some.

    No pressure, no pushing... totally someone's choice if they want to have a bite.
  • Jenny775
    Jenny775 Posts: 108 Member
    Just say NO! ;)

    The only person who can sabotage your efforts is yourself.



    ^^^ THIS!
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    I have a container of fresh fruits and vegetables on my desk and I always just say "No thanks I am changing the way I eat"
    You don't have to feel bad if their feelings are hurt. Never apologize. Never explain. You don't owe them anything.
    If they push it. Repeat again. " No thanks I am changing the way I eat. Smile and move on.
    Don't eat anything at work you didn't bring with you. Otherwise it never stops.
    Funny, some of the veggies are fruits have the same caloric value of cookie and cakes.

    Oh the irony.

    Yes, but at least the fruits and vegetables help you meet your daily nutritional requirements as part of your overall diet. Calories aren't the only thing that matters in a healthy lifestyle.

    What vegetable has as many calories as a cookie or piece of cake? None that I have ever logged, and I've logged plenty of veggies, cookies, and cake.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    You really aren't hurting anyone's feelings if you simply say "no, thank you". They offer, you decline. No reason for hurt feelings over that.

    This. And they're probably offering because they don't want to hurt YOUR feelings. As in, "If I don't offer her a cookie, she might think that I think she needs to lose weight."
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
    Just say No thank you. Don't worry about hurting feelings. Why are their feelings more important than your health??
  • Simona40
    Simona40 Posts: 50 Member
    I just say no. People at work are now used to me saying no now so they expect it and it doesnt cause hurt feelings. If we have a pot luck or something like that I'll take a plate so people will see but I may not eat everything. What I dont want...I throw away.

    Today the building I work in hosted a breakfast. It's all sugary pastries and cookies. I took a box to be polite but I'll either give it to a co-worker to throw it away. I have my egg sandwich to keep me satisfied until lunch.

    I find the more you say no, the easier it gets and people really dont get hurt feelings.
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
    PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE!
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    They're being polite. Just politely decline.
  • AntWrig
    AntWrig Posts: 2,273 Member
    I have a container of fresh fruits and vegetables on my desk and I always just say "No thanks I am changing the way I eat"
    You don't have to feel bad if their feelings are hurt. Never apologize. Never explain. You don't owe them anything.
    If they push it. Repeat again. " No thanks I am changing the way I eat. Smile and move on.
    Don't eat anything at work you didn't bring with you. Otherwise it never stops.
    Funny, some of the veggies are fruits have the same caloric value of cookie and cakes.

    Oh the irony.

    Yes, but at least the fruits and vegetables help you meet your daily nutritional requirements as part of your overall diet. Calories aren't the only thing that matters in a healthy lifestyle.

    What vegetable has as many calories as a cookie or piece of cake? None that I have ever logged, and I've logged plenty of veggies, cookies, and cake.
    Sweet potatoes can get up there, bananas are calorie dense as well.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    I have a container of fresh fruits and vegetables on my desk and I always just say "No thanks I am changing the way I eat"
    You don't have to feel bad if their feelings are hurt. Never apologize. Never explain. You don't owe them anything.
    If they push it. Repeat again. " No thanks I am changing the way I eat. Smile and move on.
    Don't eat anything at work you didn't bring with you. Otherwise it never stops.
    Funny, some of the veggies are fruits have the same caloric value of cookie and cakes.

    Oh the irony.

    Yes, but at least the fruits and vegetables help you meet your daily nutritional requirements as part of your overall diet. Calories aren't the only thing that matters in a healthy lifestyle.

    What vegetable has as many calories as a cookie or piece of cake? None that I have ever logged, and I've logged plenty of veggies, cookies, and cake.
    Sweet potatoes can get up there, bananas are calorie dense as well.

    I've never logged a sweet potato, except for sweet potato casserole on Thanksgiving, which had butter and brown sugar added to it. Bananas are still lower than one cookie, and much lower than a slice of cake. I'm not afraid of baked goods, to be sure. I was thinking you might say carrots. Two cups of carrots equals one sugar cookie. :tongue:
  • Luv2ChewBaca
    Luv2ChewBaca Posts: 15 Member
    PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE!
    HAHAHA, Now THAT IS FUNNY!!! :)
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
    Okay, my co-workers aren't intentionally sabotaging me, but I find myself bombarded with junk food offers nearly everyday. Chips, candy, cookies, cakes... and of course it's worse now during the holidays. Sometimes it's homemade goodies and I don't want to hurt anyones feelings. Sometimes it's the "if I eat one, you have to" angle (trying to sharing the guilt?).

    How do you handle co-worker sabotage? Just trying to get some new ideas from how other handle this sort of thing. Maybe a new line to use to politely turn down the junk? Maybe a new way to explain why I'm not interested, without getting into details?

    So... chime in and let me hear some of your experiences and answers to this never ending problem! :)

    -Cat

    Easy, stop being weak and get some will power
  • leeann0517
    leeann0517 Posts: 74 Member
    I used to work with a retired Marine who was a poster child for physical fitness and health. When goodies were getting passed around during the Christmas season, he'd always say "I don't put that poison in my body". He said it facetiously and with humor, and nobody took offense to it; in fact it became a standing joke amongst us - but we knew that he wouldn't/didn't eat that kind of stuff. Everybody respected that and didn't push it on him.

    i don't care how much humor he said it with, it's still rude. Basically he's saying that anyone that does eat it is putting poison in their body. What's wrong with a simple no thank you?