How to handle co-worker sabotage?

dhakiyya

when I used to live in Saudi I used to get this kind of thing all the time, and it wasn't sabotage, just Saudi hospitality. It's rude to refuse food (in Saudi culture) so I'd take some "for later" and put it in a small bag or wrap it in a napkin and put it in my handbag. By the end of a typical week I'd have a handbag full of all kinds of food that I took home "for later" and I'd stick it in the bin.

For homemade things where you don't want to cause offence, I'd suggest that. For other stuff just say "no thanks I'm not hungry right now." I find that "no thanks I'm trying to be healthy" is taken as meaning "yes I really want that but I'm depriving myself" and people feel bad for you so they offer it to you again or try to persuade you to eat it (in most cases this is done because they want you to be happy, in a few cases its deliberate sabotage, but most people are just trying to be nice but don't realise how important it is to you to stick to your eating plan) so you need to give them the message that you really don't want it and wouldn't enjoy it.

BebeStyles

I get the same from my boyfriend, it's always "Go on, one won't hurt you." or "It's the weekend, have a day off." You have to be firm, because most people don't know how hard you've worked and what they're doing can actually make you feel quite bad. Smack them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper if you have to and shout "No!" :P

celebrity328

I am allergic to wheat so it's been easy to pass on the goodies this year. My coworkers picked up on my "strange" eating habits and one of them asked me why I'm on a diet. I explained the reasons, now they make fun of my home cooked meals and trash talk behind my back honestly I guess it really depends on the maturity of coworks, mine seem to have none.

trobbin88

what about saying something like "ok, one brownie, i'll have it with my tea/coffee later". wrap it up, put it in your purse...give it to someone at home. everyone wins. although at my work, they just know me well enuff for me to say "not a chance".

Bethie_B

This happens to me all the time. For the past 9 months, I've kept saying "no, thank you" over and over again. They seem to get the point now, and have finally stopped offering me every goody that passes through the door. Stay strong.

robynj88

If you have a colleague who's trying to "share the guilt" as you put it then still say no, and act as a role model to them. This person is obviously trying to lose weight/be healthy themselves. Don't let them drag you down and at the same time show them that it's not hard to say no to treats!

kelly_e_montana

I have a container of fresh fruits and vegetables on my desk and I always just say "No thanks I am changing the way I eat"
You don't have to feel bad if their feelings are hurt. Never apologize. Never explain. You don't owe them anything.
If they push it. Repeat again. " No thanks I am changing the way I eat. Smile and move on.
Don't eat anything at work you didn't bring with you. Otherwise it never stops.

Funny, some of the veggies are fruits have the same caloric value of cookie and cakes.

Oh the irony.

Yes, but at least the fruits and vegetables help you meet your daily nutritional requirements as part of your overall diet. Calories aren't the only thing that matters in a healthy lifestyle.

sarahxx68

Honesty and self-control! One of my bosses is an awesome baker, always bringing in new goods for us to try. Our regular customers often buy us a bag of candy to keep around the office. I've started bringing my own snacks every day, even if I don't now if I'll be hungry. This way once those offers come around I can turn it down and grab my healthy snack instead. Luckily my coworkers are supportive of me once I say no, even after the initial teasing.

ctooch99

This is a personal Pet Peeve of mine and something that makes me really defensive. I cannot stand people who try to sabotage those of us trying to improve ourselves - nice or not they know what they are doing . To me it is no different than someone in a bar buying an alcoholic a drink.

My approach is an unapologetic one and I don't care who I piss off. Once someone is rejected I guarantee they won't offer you food again, so I feel the direct honest approach is best.

But what I have also found for pushy annoying types is to not take the soap box stance, but take a more non-threatening, passive stance in your response. If you are the type to lecture friends and co-workers on healthy eating, then human nature being what it is, they all silently want to see you fail in order to know that not even really fit healthy, people can avoid tasty junk food too - thus giving themselves justification to eat more crap.

So my approach goes something like this.
Fat Secretary - "Try my home made Smores you will LOVE them!"
Me - "Thanks, but I am good".
Fat Secretary "Oh c'mon, everyone loves chocolate and marshmallow - be honest - you are no better than the rest of us - you can afford one stupid smore - geez!"
Me- "Oh you are SO right Tenisha! I LOVE junk food! I would eat that whole plate of mouth watering smores all by myself. But I went to the doctor recently and he told me to watch my cholesterol and sugar, so as much as it kills me and as weak of a human being as I am, I am going to have to pass - I am really sorry they look absolutely delightful!"
Fat Secretary - "Oh that stinks - you are no fun!"
Me - "I know, I know - but hey it means there are more left for you and the other secretaries to enjoy! Smore On Tenisha!"

No one's quilting me into eating crap junk food I don't want to eat and I will spin it on them with a smile on my face and maintain my healthy regimen and no one gets offended in the process.

My 2 cents

OddballExtreme

I'm happy to say the majority of co-workers at my job have been nothing less than supportive of my own efforts. They all know I have Type 2 Diabetes and high blood pressure and understand I have to watch myself. They've all seen me lose the 47 pounds throughout 2012.

However, I did have one temp co-worker try to tempt me into eating a doughnut. I said, "It's got 21 carbs." She countered with, "No, it's got 21 calories, not 21 carbs." So, to satisfy myself, I just opened the box and took a whiff of the doughnuts. I'm happy to say that worked. If I hadn't already had breakfast at home, a doughnut would've actually been okay to eat. I'm so used to eating breakfast at home before I go to work, so having that extra doughnut would become counterproductive.

Several of the other temp co-workers actually wanted to know my secret to the weight loss, so I gave them info on watching how many carbs are eaten, sodium, etc. It's great to know I can help encourage others on the weight loss without pushing it on everyone.

The sad fact is every workplace will have at least one co-worker who wants to bring in the fatty, sugary foods. It's up to each of us individually to decide for ourselves if it's worth eating or something better to avoid in our continuous health and weight loss journey.

itsmaggie2

Actually, I wouldn't mind having a few of those home-made goodies myself. . .but here's the deal. I have to make smarter choices right now. I owe no one an explanation for my choices or behavior. If I convince MYSELF, that's half the battle. I've always associated food with anything for any reason. . . "it's the holidays - I can eat everything!" or "you can't not pig out on Thanksgiving!" or "Easter Candy only comes out once a year!". The bottom line is this: I can cook just about anything, and I can do it at any time of year, regardless of whether its a holiday or not. So. . .I'm going to forego those indulgences now, and if I want dark peanut butter fudge in July, I'll just waltz into the kitchen and make it. There went my "only once a year" theory. If I tell myself I can have any of these luxuries at any time of the year, those foods aren't so special at Christmas.

As for your co-workers. . .just smile and say, "oh, can't do it right now. . .but thanks". And when they persist, smile and say, "seriously, I'm on a personal mission right now - I can use your support." You owe them no explanations, no justifications. You've refused, and that's that. I tend to be somewhat private about my weight loss anyway. I have lost 70 pounds now, and people notice, so I thank them for that. . .but I never run around howling to the moon about how much I've lost, or posting it on Facebook, or anything like that. I have to have my self-worth come from inside me, not from others' opinions of what I look like or how well I've done.

The bottom line: it's all about me. Wow. . .42 years, and I've said it - I think I mean it this time!

magairlin

I told my co-worker ( who is very fat and constantly eating chocolate bars) that I have high cholesterol (not really true- maybe a tiny bit high) and that my father died of heart disease aged 50 and she doesn't try to tempt me so much now. She still occasionally wants me to have a chocolate bar but I never ever have one so she has pretty much got the message. It's a shame that I couldn't just say "no thank you " which is a polite reply and that I had to go into the story about my father's heart disease but sometimes that's the kind of thing you have to do to get the message across. I wouldn't take any of the stuff -not even half- I find if I put that sugary stuff into my body it craves more!! When goodies are laid out on the tea- table which they are regularly- I just done't go over there or if I want to get some tea I walk away quickly. My colleagues are now used to that and I think some of them secretly admire my discipline and they will admire yours too if you consistently stick to your resolve.Good luck

Shua89

You really aren't hurting anyone's feelings if you simply say "no, thank you". They offer, you decline. No reason for hurt feelings over that.

As far as handling the temptations you can't control them bringing stuff in, you can only control you. So every morning make a plan on how you're going to handle it. If you decide you want a treat go for it but make other changes in your day to allow for it. If you decide you don't want one then come up with a game plan before you even leave for work on how you are going to handle staying strong.

There will always be goodies around, a big part of losing the weight and keeping it off is learning how to handle those temptations.

Carfoodel

I just say "you know what? I have had far too much sugary stuff lately so they look delicious but I have to say no"

most people take that as a compliment and move on - It's a weird one that if people think you do eat that sort of stuff they are more willing to accept you saying no - it's when they think you are being ultra strict and saying you can never eat a bit of chocolate again that people want to make you have "just one wee bit" there is quite a bit of psychology in there lol

- besides I get so much encouragement from my teammates, they are very used to me saying no, often they just go straight passed me now - its just about being clear on what you want - work is not really any different from temptation we get everywhere.

rapat

Maybe I live in a different world, but I've never had coworkers who push sugary food onto others, make them feel guilty for not taking it, or feel insulted when people don't take it.

Usually they just offer it up, and if you say "no thanks" they don't mind.

I think taking it and giving it to someone else to not hurt their feelings seems worse as you'll then have to do it forever

If you really need an excuse that's not just 'i'm trying to eat healthy' tell them you're training for a 5 or 10k or marathon and need to eat properly.

Gerald_King

Just say no thank you simple

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

Just say "no thanks." As you say they're not trying to sabotage you, they're just being nice. It does get easier to say no the more times you have to do it.

Aello11

Depends how many times the same person asks


1st time - No thank you
2nd --- emmm No
3rd -- he!! no
4th -- F... no
5th -- No only has two letters which don't you understand

mfpseven

always go with the "Oh, I had cake for breakfast if I have ___ I'll go into sugar shock" then you don't have hear the "oh but you don't need to diet"s

IronSmasher

Say no

If they question, explain that you are better than them.