How to handle co-worker sabotage?
Replies
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i just tell them to STFU and NOTHING they say can make me want it!!
lol yea i honestly do say that tho.. they all know my goals so i wont put up with their BS and saying things to try and guilt me into eating something.. That aint how it works!!0 -
Wow! Didn't know I'd get all that response. For those who actually read the post before replying, and gave me encouraging input, thanks! See ya around the boards.
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But I don't keep crap food in my house, so why should I be subjected to it constantly in the workplace let alone be goaded into eating it? It's annoying.
Because in your home it's just you.
In the rest of the world, there's this thing called "other people." They exist. Lots of them. Around 7 billion, last I heard.0 -
Will you give up goodies during maintenance too?
I don't see this as sabotage. No one is forcing you to eat the cookie or the brownie, and no one is forcing you to not change your dinner, snack, or lunch plans to accommodate it. If you don't want to eat it, that's fine -- but own that choice, and don't blame it on other people.
If you work in an office where people get offended if you don't have a treat -- and admittedly, in the offices I've been in, that's never been my experience -- either lie through your teeth, eat it, or take it home as a treat. Or throw it out when no one is watching.
But at least own your decisions. No one forces you to eat anything.0 -
How do you know what the "wifey hears"?
It is NEVER rude to say no, if no is what you mean. Please explain to me why you think it is rude to turn down something offered.A lot of people tell me "just don't eat it, who cares if they're offended" but I work in a VERY team-based and fragile ego environment so I totally understand why someone wouldn't want to be rude by always saying no.
Here's the cool thing... BECAUSE I allow myself to eat the truly FABULOUS things, an BECAUSE I don't make a habit of bring mean and snippy about "you slobs filling your mouths with that junk" when I say no, most people don't mind the occasions when I say no.
Here's what I do when confronted with office goodies:
1. No thanks (or, if they're pushy, maybe later)
2. I remember that part of the reason they're often pushing it on US is so THEY don't eat it!!! Or so they're wives don't eat it (I work around mostly men).
3. If it's gonna hinder my weight loss,then eating it needs to be WORTH every calorie. I don't eat sweets that are not fabulous.But I *will* indulge a little bit if it's something REALLY good that only comes around this time of year (like my mom's nutroll).
4. If I feel this person is sensitive and taking my "no thanks" personally, I take a tiny bite, act like I'm nibbling and (unless I've already earned the calories that day) and then later after I'm done talking with people, I throw the rest out.
5. If I'm having one of those days where I know my self control is low (so I know I can't keep a plate of goodies on my desk without actually eating them) but they are being pushy when I say "no thanks" then I take some "I will try it after I eat lunch" then I will find a way to throw it out.
You work with mostly men, but they get their feelings hurt because you wont eat the crap that they don't want to eat or don't want their wives eating? Well it is good to know how highly they think of you......
Sigh. You're right. People who actually care what others think are so beneath you.
I don't personally think it's rude. Like another poster said, if I make something and you aren't going to eat it, I'd rather you didn't take it at all. But many women think it's rude. And my civilian coworkers who could stand to lose a few pounds take personal offense (as if you're passing judement on them).
And yes, I work with mostly men. Who seem to like to highlight to wifey that I snubbed their cooking. As men, they don't say it "that way" but that's what wifey hears. It's bad enough they hate on those of us females who work with their husbands. Why add to it if you don't have to?
My post was cut and paste from my blog post on the topic. These strategies also apply to parties and such.0 -
I'm in the same boat - it's not easy, especially this time of year, someone is bringing something in daily. In the past I've stock-piled stuff if it's wrapped and taken it down to the breakroom of another floor, sometimes just take the first bite if it's homemade and then set it aside and toss later (thought I hate to waste a good cookie or baked good). Hang in there! Connie0
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But I don't keep crap food in my house, so why should I be subjected to it constantly in the workplace let alone be goaded into eating it? It's annoying.
Because in your home it's just you.
In the rest of the world, there's this thing called "other people." They exist. Lots of them. Around 7 billion, last I heard.
Right - and in the real world where we all live and work you obviously don't, there are also things called called "work place rules and employment laws" - Of the 7 billion people you refer to there are also a large number of them who smoke too - so by your logic they should be able to smoke and blow their smoke into your workplace every day and offering you the chance to smoke with them whether you want you want to or not? There is absolutely no difference at all with the exception that junk food is seen as something harmless and "yummy" while cigarettes are not.. Yet obesity and diabetes are as big (if not bigger) health problems than lung cancer is today. People simply need to leave their crappy junk food at home or keep it to themselves, it's no different.
I am nice to people at work, but I do not feel I should need to be in a position where I have to constantly turn down food and have to explain why or come up with bull**** to not offend some fat-*kitten* who knows better. It's ridiculous and intrusive.0 -
But I don't keep crap food in my house, so why should I be subjected to it constantly in the workplace let alone be goaded into eating it? It's annoying.
Because in your home it's just you.
In the rest of the world, there's this thing called "other people." They exist. Lots of them. Around 7 billion, last I heard.
Right - and in the real world where we all live and work you obviously don't, there are also things called called "work place rules and employment laws" - Of the 7 billion people you refer to there are also a large number of them who smoke too - so by your logic they should be able to smoke and blow their smoke into your workplace every day and offering you the chance to smoke with them whether you want you want to or not? There is absolutely no difference at all with the exception that junk food is seen as something harmless and "yummy" while cigarettes are not.. Yet obesity and diabetes are as big (if not bigger) health problems than lung cancer is today. People simply need to leave their crappy junk food at home or keep it to themselves, it's no different.
I am nice to people at work, but I do not feel I should need to be in a position where I have to constantly turn down food and have to explain why or come up with bull**** to not offend some fat-*kitten* who knows better. It's ridiculous and intrusive.
Lol no difference between cigarettes and "junk food"? In what fantasy world?
What if an in shape person offered you "junk" food and you were the fatty to them?0 -
But I don't keep crap food in my house, so why should I be subjected to it constantly in the workplace let alone be goaded into eating it? It's annoying.
Because in your home it's just you.
In the rest of the world, there's this thing called "other people." They exist. Lots of them. Around 7 billion, last I heard.
Right - and in the real world where we all live and work you obviously don't, there are also things called called "work place rules and employment laws" - Of the 7 billion people you refer to there are also a large number of them who smoke too - so by your logic they should be able to smoke and blow their smoke into your workplace every day and offering you the chance to smoke with them whether you want you want to or not? There is absolutely no difference at all with the exception that junk food is seen as something harmless and "yummy" while cigarettes are not.. Yet obesity and diabetes are as big (if not bigger) health problems than lung cancer is today. People simply need to leave their crappy junk food at home or keep it to themselves, it's no different.
I am nice to people at work, but I do not feel I should need to be in a position where I have to constantly turn down food and have to explain why or come up with bull**** to not offend some fat-*kitten* who knows better. It's ridiculous and intrusive.
Wow, the holier than though attitude and the generalization here is hard to take.
I work in an office with 90 or so other people who bring treats every single day. Every. single. day. Guess what, all but one of us even push the overweight category. The people who bring the most food (brownies, sweet breads, croissants, chocolate, chocolate bread, chocolate criossants, gateaux, cookies, more chocolate ...) are actually some of the healthiest of us all and the furthest thing from fat. They run half marathons or even full marathons, ski from dawn to dusk, organize ice hockey matches, snowshoeing expeditions, lunch time runs, mountain hikes and even parachuting outings for everyone in the office. Every single one of us has chocolate and cookies (and fruit!) in our offices. Heck even the christmas decorations in the office are made of chocolate.
However, none of us accuse each other of sabotage or ambush or whatever have yous because we operate on the notion that everyone in the office is an adult. We can eat as much or as little as we want, our health and weight is up to us. If I overeat, it's my own damn fault. My co-workers don't owe me a thing when it comes to whether they bring treats to the office or not.0 -
Why do people think that they are sooooo important that not eating something offered is going to hurt anyone's feelings? Ever consider they don't really want you to eat one and are just trying to not hurt YOUR feelings and are offering you something? Or maybe they all have a bet on who can get you to eat the most? Get over yourself and tell them NO, I don't want it.
My typical response....."No thanks, I'm fat enough."
hahaha, I like that response. Sometimes I say no thanks, I don't eat crap anymore....Yes, I am passive aggressive. 0 -
Not just co-workers but husband...He is always offering me junk food or my favorite candies. If I say no he says " you know you wnat it" Of course I want it! How do I stay away and not eat it when it is in my face.
I need support...0 -
But I don't keep crap food in my house, so why should I be subjected to it constantly in the workplace let alone be goaded into eating it? It's annoying.
Because in your home it's just you.
In the rest of the world, there's this thing called "other people." They exist. Lots of them. Around 7 billion, last I heard.
Right - and in the real world where we all live and work you obviously don't, there are also things called called "work place rules and employment laws" - Of the 7 billion people you refer to there are also a large number of them who smoke too - so by your logic they should be able to smoke and blow their smoke into your workplace every day and offering you the chance to smoke with them whether you want you want to or not? There is absolutely no difference at all with the exception that junk food is seen as something harmless and "yummy" while cigarettes are not.. Yet obesity and diabetes are as big (if not bigger) health problems than lung cancer is today. People simply need to leave their crappy junk food at home or keep it to themselves, it's no different.
I am nice to people at work, but I do not feel I should need to be in a position where I have to constantly turn down food and have to explain why or come up with bull**** to not offend some fat-*kitten* who knows better. It's ridiculous and intrusive.
Wow, the holier than though attitude and the generalization here is hard to take.
I work in an office with 90 or so other people who bring treats every single day. Every. single. day. Guess what, all but one of us even push the overweight category. The people who bring the most food (brownies, sweet breads, croissants, chocolate, chocolate bread, chocolate criossants, gateaux, cookies, more chocolate ...) are actually some of the healthiest of us all and the furthest thing from fat. They run half marathons or even full marathons, ski from dawn to dusk, organize ice hockey matches, snowshoeing expeditions, lunch time runs, mountain hikes and even parachuting outings for everyone in the office. Every single one of us has chocolate and cookies (and fruit!) in our offices. Heck even the christmas decorations in the office are made of chocolate.
However, none of us accuse each other of sabotage or ambush or whatever have yous because we operate on the notion that everyone in the office is an adult. We can eat as much or as little as we want, our health and weight is up to us. If I overeat, it's my own damn fault. My co-workers don't owe me a thing when it comes to whether they bring treats to the office or not.
Huh??? Holier than thou attitude?? Great for you, you are the perfect human in the perfect office in the perfect world - it''s not really like that everywhere.
Talk about generalizations, look in your own mirror... I like my co-workers and get a long with them very well. However, unlike your perfect office full of perfect people, many of my co-workers are obese and do not eat properly - as you said they are adults - its their choice. Many of them constantly bring crap food in and leave it out in shared eating areas - again, not a big deal - I just walk by it.
No one is saying they are not nice and I am not mean or nasty about them sharing junk food. Point is, my office is small enough, they know me well enough and I have turned down their pushy food offerings on more than one occasion - so it's not a news flash. Continually badgering co-workers to share in junk food when they have already, repeatedly, politely said "no" is at a minimum an annoyance and at the worst a hostile work environment - it is.0 -
But I don't keep crap food in my house, so why should I be subjected to it constantly in the workplace let alone be goaded into eating it? It's annoying.
Because in your home it's just you.
In the rest of the world, there's this thing called "other people." They exist. Lots of them. Around 7 billion, last I heard.
Right - and in the real world where we all live and work you obviously don't, there are also things called called "work place rules and employment laws" - Of the 7 billion people you refer to there are also a large number of them who smoke too - so by your logic they should be able to smoke and blow their smoke into your workplace every day and offering you the chance to smoke with them whether you want you want to or not? There is absolutely no difference at all with the exception that junk food is seen as something harmless and "yummy" while cigarettes are not.. Yet obesity and diabetes are as big (if not bigger) health problems than lung cancer is today. People simply need to leave their crappy junk food at home or keep it to themselves, it's no different.
I am nice to people at work, but I do not feel I should need to be in a position where I have to constantly turn down food and have to explain why or come up with bull**** to not offend some fat-*kitten* who knows better. It's ridiculous and intrusive.
Lol no difference between cigarettes and "junk food"? In what fantasy world?
What if an in shape person offered you "junk" food and you were the fatty to them?
There's a health benefit difference between junk food and cigarettes? Please enlighten me... love to hear this one....
Not sure I understand the logic in the 2nd scenario? I would, um still say "no thanks" and they would still be kidding themselves that because they pose with their abs out in a bad cell phone picture they are the model of health and more enlightened than me with their Bro science???0 -
Huh??? Holier than thou attitude?? Great for you, you are the perfect human in the perfect office in the perfect world - it''s not really like that everywhere.
Talk about generalizations, look in your own mirror... I like my co-workers and get a long with them very well. However, unlike your perfect office full of perfect people, many of my co-workers are obese and do not eat properly - as you said they are adults - its their choice. Many of them constantly bring crap food in and leave it out in shared eating areas - again, not a big deal - I just walk by it.
No one is saying they are not nice and I am not mean or nasty about them sharing junk food. Point is, my office is small enough, they know me well enough and I have turned down their pushy food offerings on more than one occasion - so it's not a news flash. Continually badgering co-workers to share in junk food when they have already, repeatedly, politely said "no" is at a minimum an annoyance and at the worst a hostile work environment - it is.
Yeeeeah, when you're calling people "Fatasses who know better", you don't get to play the nice-guy card. You instead get handed the "Yes, sir, you actually ARE holier-than-thou" along with the "I don't feel like my obviously superior life choices are influencing enough people so I'm going to throw a temper tantrum on MFP about it" card.0 -
Just say no. Bring your own healthy snacks that you like and eat those instead.0
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I just say no thank you and leave it at that. No explaination needed. If they're hurt about you not taking their food they have bigger issues at bay.
This.0 -
It it's something I really do actually want, will enjoym and fits in my overall calories I will accept and have a portion of it - not the entire serving but perhaps half. If it's something I don't particularly enjoy or care for I pretend it was made in a dirty kitchen and decline. I generally find grocery store bought cakes and cookies disappoint me as I find them overly synthetically sweet - I would rather have one great cookie from a real bakery than a whole box of Chips Ahoy or whatever.0
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Three years ago around Halloween I started my current job ........ I'd previously lost 40 pounds & wasn't about to gain any of it back ........ so with a big smile, would say "no, thanks" to offers of takeout for lunch ....... to the endless Halloween candy ....... to the cakes, cookies & pies that clients brought in during the "holidaze" ........
I'm not entirely heartless LOL ....... I'll have a bite of coworkers' birthday cakes ........ and I go out after work once in awhile for a drink & an appetizer ....... also, no problem eating fruit from the fruit baskets (few & far between, IMO)
My coworkers got the message ......... I'm very picky about my junkfood ROFL ....... and since starting this job, I've lost a few more pounds ...... also several of my coworkers have jumped on the bandwagon & lost a huge amount of weight ....... I'm so proud of them !
Best of luck :drinker:0 -
Huh??? Holier than thou attitude?? Great for you, you are the perfect human in the perfect office in the perfect world - it''s not really like that everywhere.
Talk about generalizations, look in your own mirror... I like my co-workers and get a long with them very well. However, unlike your perfect office full of perfect people, many of my co-workers are obese and do not eat properly - as you said they are adults - its their choice. Many of them constantly bring crap food in and leave it out in shared eating areas - again, not a big deal - I just walk by it.
No one is saying they are not nice and I am not mean or nasty about them sharing junk food. Point is, my office is small enough, they know me well enough and I have turned down their pushy food offerings on more than one occasion - so it's not a news flash. Continually badgering co-workers to share in junk food when they have already, repeatedly, politely said "no" is at a minimum an annoyance and at the worst a hostile work environment - it is.
Yeeeeah, when you're calling people "Fatasses who know better", you don't get to play the nice-guy card. You instead get handed the "Yes, sir, you actually ARE holier-than-thou" along with the "I don't feel like my obviously superior life choices are influencing enough people so I'm going to throw a temper tantrum on MFP about it" card.
Yeahhhhh no, I am playing the "guy not afraid to call it like it is debating with over sensitive PC chick" My overweight co-workers did not get that way magically - they got that way from bringing in tons of junk food and eating it all day long. I don't judge them - I don't. I lost weight. It was very difficult and it took discipline and hard work - hence the WHOLE point of this discussion. They all know this, they all know me well enough to know what is important to me. I respect their choice to eat whatever they wish and not pass judgment (reality - they are fat *kitten* - by choice) It is a mutual respect thing - their respect for my choice is not mutual to my respect for theirs.
Thanks for your insight!0 -
Funny, some of the veggies are fruits have the same caloric value of cookie and cakes.I have a container of fresh fruits and vegetables on my desk and I always just say "No thanks I am changing the way I eat"
You don't have to feel bad if their feelings are hurt. Never apologize. Never explain. You don't owe them anything.
If they push it. Repeat again. " No thanks I am changing the way I eat. Smile and move on.
Don't eat anything at work you didn't bring with you. Otherwise it never stops.
Oh the irony.
Yes but no one has ever gotten fat from eating fruits and vegetables.0 -
For the most part, people in my office have been fairly supportive. However, there are one or two people here that push food on me, and it's more than annoying.
If somebody brings in cookies and they are in the breakroom, it doesn't bother me, and can walk by them no problem. If they were to put them on my desk, that would a different story!
Last night I did have an incident at a work function where an obese coworker called me out for not eating enough in front of a few of our clients. There was a huge italian buffet. I had one piece of pizza and a few fresh veggies on my plate. He told me that he hoped that wasn't all I was eating since all I eat are blueberries throughout the day (not true, but whatever). It would piss me off enough if this happened during a family gathering, but by a coworker that I barely know was beyond inappropriate.
I do count my blessings that majority of the folks in my office aren't like this, and have good heads on their shoulders.0 -
Yeahhhhh no, I am playing the "guy not afraid to call it like it is debating with over sensitive PC chick"
There's quite the difference between not being PC and being an outright *kitten*. Calling someone a fatass falls into the latter category.
Do you perhaps not know that? Do you need some instruction? Has your social training been so stunted that these two distinctions have somehow escaped you?0 -
I find responses like "I've already had so much Xmas junk food lately, I have to stop eating it at work!" or "no thanks, all this sugar has been giving me mood swings" don't invite the same attention as talking about a diet.
I just did this a few minutes ago. Co-workers trying to get me to go out to lunch where I know I'll make poor decisions.0 -
I have no problem with somebody referring to someone else as a fatass, given they don't name names, say to to someone's face, or say it to another person on this board trying to lose weight.
2/3rds of Americans are fatasses.0 -
I also want to add that I eat 2000 calories a day on average.
I find it annoying that in order to fit in with the general population, I would have to resort to anorexic behavior like putting food on my plate and throwing it away in order to fit in.
I don't do this, but a lot times I am made to feel that way.0 -
Many people are comfortable referring to other's as fatasses.
It's mostly humorous - if not maddening - considering that most of us here on MFP are or were "fatasses" ourselves. It's all fun and games until someone mocks the very group of people you actually belong to.
Unless you're just on MFP for the lolz. Then you're obviously never been fat and of course have no need to realize that as you once might have been ridiculed for your weight, perhaps doing the same to others would not be so wise.
But hey - some people like self-loathing. Call someone a fatass. Realize you were (or are) a fatass. Heap that self-hate onto who you were or are. If that's what keeps ya ticking - *shrug*.0 -
The conference table in my department has been covered with every kind of cookie, cheese log, chocolate, candy, and cracker that you can imagine for about 3 weeks. All of our customers and vendors have been sending baskets upon baskets of junk for Christmas. I walk by it every time I leave my desk. Everyone asks me how I can work when that table is sitting right outside of my cubicle... I find it amusing. I bring food to snack on all day- I'm never hungry so it doesn't bother me.0
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Yeah I always have fresh fruit that I bring in myself, sitting on my desk, so that helps a lot.
As long as I have my own healthy snacks, I'm fine.0 -
Ha! I had to laugh at this one.
When I make a run to Costco at lunch time to get nuts for my office I always seem to pick up a dozen of their huge muffins and usually some huge cupcakes for the break room.
I call it SABOTAGE.:)
I don't partake. It has no control over me.
It is part of the "dieter's prayer."
"God, if you can't make me thin, please make everyone else fat."
:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:0 -
I've found that walking up, looking at the goodies, then saying "Bikini, bikini, bikini" to myself really helps.
I also do this when I'm about to give up lifting weights (albeit small weights, gotta start somewhere right?) and I manage one more rep. If you have a few extra calories, eat one cookie. If not think about your OVERALL goal, fight the good fight and walk away.
Also it helps if you have a sensitive system like myself, since I don't know what in it and what it'll do to my stomach later, I usually decline for that reason.0
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