Cousinly Love
Brianna72994
Posts: 887
in Chit-Chat
Hey guys! So I'm looking for some opinions, sorry if this is kind of long.
My boyfriend and his female cousin are very close. They are close in age, she is only two years older than he is. But I'm starting to feel like they are a little too close, if that's possible? They talk on the phone pretty often, they have sleepovers (she sleeps on the floor), she wears his sweatshirts and stuff, she's always stopping by his house unannounced, even when me and him are spending time together, and she usually stays for a couple of hours. He gives her multiple hugs whenever he sees her, and I feel like he ignores me whenever she is there. When I try to talk to him about it, he gets mad and short-tempered. I guess I'll get to the point. It really bugs me. Is it possible that they are TOO close? (I dont have any close cousins so I'm not sure)
Any opinions/advice would be appreciated, thanks!
My boyfriend and his female cousin are very close. They are close in age, she is only two years older than he is. But I'm starting to feel like they are a little too close, if that's possible? They talk on the phone pretty often, they have sleepovers (she sleeps on the floor), she wears his sweatshirts and stuff, she's always stopping by his house unannounced, even when me and him are spending time together, and she usually stays for a couple of hours. He gives her multiple hugs whenever he sees her, and I feel like he ignores me whenever she is there. When I try to talk to him about it, he gets mad and short-tempered. I guess I'll get to the point. It really bugs me. Is it possible that they are TOO close? (I dont have any close cousins so I'm not sure)
Any opinions/advice would be appreciated, thanks!
0
Replies
-
Are they 1st cousins or kissing cousins?0
-
@bid1994 - I wouldn't worry about it. My first cousin(male) and I are extremely close. We have remained close since our childhood and remain closer than our brothers and sisters.
But thats normal for male cousins to be close. But he is a male and she is female. I'm just not sure if I should be concerned or not.. I mean I know he wouldnt cheat on me with her, thats disgusting. I just wonder if they are TOO close and if I should say something.0 -
It sounds like they are just best buds0
-
I was in a relationship years ago with a guy who was like that with his female cousin. Was very annoying so I know where you're coming from.0
-
I was in a relationship years ago with a guy who was like that with his female cousin. Was very annoying so I know where you're coming from.
I'm glad someone understands. It's very annoying.0 -
I wouldn't worry about it...I have a female cousin I am very close to...she spends the night when she needs to get away, we hug and basically cry on each other's shoulders from time to time and basically she's like a sister. We always can make each other laugh, no matter what or how long it's been since we see each other...0
-
No win situation to give him a hard time about it. In my opinion, it's best to accept it or if you really feel it's out of line then move on. I think cousins are often very close regardless of gender.0
-
I wouldnt say that I'm jealous of her, just sometimes I feel left out. Especially when she comes over, because he kind of ignores me when she is there.0
-
My first thought is....
1) Are they really cousins? Or did he just tell you that and you are taking his word for it?
2) Sleepovers? Are you sure she's not just crashing at his pad for convenience?
3) How touchy feely are they really?
Unless you are the extremely possessive type, you should trust your instincts if its botthering you. I say this because you say he gets mad when you try to talk to him about it. Spider-senses are tingling.....
Sorry to be the devil's advocate here, but the way you describe it....0 -
My mom's generation of our family is all like that, regardless of sex or gender. They've even slept in the same bed, doesn't mean they're rolling around in it doing the dirty but they love and trust each other and if circumstances came down to it I'd probably do the same. We all love each other very much, no incest about it so I wouldn't be worried about that until you actually have more of a reason than 'they hug a lot'.
But if it really bothers you that much, talk to your boyfriend about it. Tell him you feel a little neglected when she's over and you know it's not intentional but it hurts you. OPEN COMMUNICATION IS A GOOD THING.
All the luck to ya. c:0 -
My first thought is....
1) Are they really cousins? Or did he just tell you that and you are taking his word for it?
2) Sleepovers? Are you sure she's not just crashing at his pad for convenience?
3) How touchy feely are they really?
Unless you are the extremely possessive type, you should trust your instincts if its botthering you. I say this because you say he gets mad when you try to talk to him about it. Spider-senses are tingling.....
Sorry to be the devil's advocate here, but the way you describe it....
1) Yes they are real cousins, I'm positive
2) I'm not sure why they have sleepovers. She doesnt live too far away, probably like 10 minutes away
3) They just hug alot0 -
I wouldn't worry about it in "that" sense...I have a female cousin that is one of my best friends...love her to death and we are very close. I am closer to her than my own sister in many respects...largely due to age and having more in common. That said, you should probably talk to your boyfriend and set some boundaries...like when you're just hanging out having some time together, it's probably not the best time for her to pop in for a sleep over, etc. When my wife and I were dating, we had to have such a conversation...not in RE to my cousin, but my buddies were always popping over with 6 packs of beer, etc. At the time, I was completely oblivious to the fact that this bothered my now wife until she spoke up...otherwise it just seemed like one big party and everyone was having a good time.0
-
Me and my female cousin are just like that. We are best friends and always have been. We hang out all the time and can talk about anything. This is normal.0
-
Me and my female cousin are just like that. We are best friends and always have been. We hang out all the time and can talk about anything. This is normal.
But does she just randomly stop by without saying anything, even when you are with a girl? Thats the part that bugs me.0 -
My guy cousins are like brothers. We grew up together and hang out whenever we can. Since they are family, it's not a big deal if we drop by each others' places unannounced.
Open communication is good, but be careful. Tell him how you feel honestly, but be sensitive and let him explain. Sounds like they're close enough that if he has to choose between you two, you will lose.0 -
My guy cousins are like brothers. We grew up together and hang out whenever we can. Since they are family, it's not a big deal if we drop by each others' places unannounced.
Open communication is good, but be careful. Tell him how you feel honestly, but be sensitive and let him explain. Sounds like they're close enough that if he has to choose between you two, you will lose.
I would never make him choose, she is family. I just feel like she should at least text or call and ask if she can come over, instead of just dropping by. He is my boyfriend and I feel like I deserve some alone time with him0 -
This is pretty strange, IMO.
It's one thing to have a close relationship, but to be having "sleepovers" when she lives in the same city and they are how old? I find that odd.0 -
Is this in Alabama? Nothing unusual at all then.0
-
He is not going to change...so you have to decide if you can live like this. Would you marry a guy like this? Would you want to have kids with a guy like this? If the answer is no then you're wasting not only your time but his.
Personally I wouldn't want to.0 -
This is pretty strange, IMO.
It's one thing to have a close relationship, but to be having "sleepovers" when she lives in the same city and they are how old? I find that odd.
He is 16, almost 17. Me and his cousin are both 18.0 -
Is this in Alabama? Nothing unusual at all then.
Haha if it was then I wouldnt be so worried! But no, Massachusetts0 -
I have a cousin who used to be like that. He has calmed down but yeah, being TOO close cousins is possible.0
-
This is pretty strange, IMO.
It's one thing to have a close relationship, but to be having "sleepovers" when she lives in the same city and they are how old? I find that odd.
He is 16, almost 17. Me and his cousin are both 18.
ohhhhh okay lol I was thinking these were adults lol
Makes a little more sense now, but still weird.0 -
:laugh:This is pretty strange, IMO.
It's one thing to have a close relationship, but to be having "sleepovers" when she lives in the same city and they are how old? I find that odd.
He is 16, almost 17. Me and his cousin are both 18.0 -
Hey guys! So I'm looking for some opinions, sorry if this is kind of long.
My boyfriend and his female cousin are very close. They are close in age, she is only two years older than he is. But I'm starting to feel like they are a little too close, if that's possible? They talk on the phone pretty often, they have sleepovers (she sleeps on the floor), she wears his sweatshirts and stuff, she's always stopping by his house unannounced, even when me and him are spending time together, and she usually stays for a couple of hours. He gives her multiple hugs whenever he sees her, and I feel like he ignores me whenever she is there. When I try to talk to him about it, he gets mad and short-tempered. I guess I'll get to the point. It really bugs me. Is it possible that they are TOO close? (I dont have any close cousins so I'm not sure)
Any opinions/advice would be appreciated, thanks!
Dump him0 -
This is pretty strange, IMO.
It's one thing to have a close relationship, but to be having "sleepovers" when she lives in the same city and they are how old? I find that odd.
He is 16, almost 17. Me and his cousin are both 18.
The real question is why an 18 year old is dating someone under age...0 -
How long have you been with your boyfriend? Has the behavior increased over time? To me it just sounds like a brother sister relationship. When you feel like he is ignoring you, is it during date or is everyone just at the house hanging out. Without and serious missteps, it sounds like you might be over reacting.0
-
Sounds a little too close to me. I have cousins that I am close with....but there is a line when it is family. I say stick to your guns with this, and if he isn't willing to respect how you feel well then....that says a lot. Your instincts are telling you something for a reason.0
-
We have only been together for about 5 months and when he ignores me, it is when we are hanging out at his house. Although she has been on one of our dates with us. She invited herself to the movies with us once.How long have you been with your boyfriend? Has the behavior increased over time? To me it just sounds like a brother sister relationship. When you feel like he is ignoring you, is it during date or is everyone just at the house hanging out. Without and serious missteps, it sounds like you might be over reacting.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions