Best response to a telemarketer.
RedHeadDevotchka
Posts: 1,394 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm kinda piggy backing on the cashier thread, but I just talked to a telemarketer today and it was pretty damn funny.
So I just had a telemarketer call the good ol' Funeral Home where I work. She wanted to talk to the person who is in charge of cleaning supplies. Well, naturally that is the boss. I told her that and she wanted to talk to him. He doesn't want to be bothered with that so I told her, he's not available. Well, she wanted to know when he would be, and I said that it's hard to say since it's a funeral home and people are always dying so we're always busy.
She sounded so taken aback when I said that that the convo ended right there. I even resisted the urge at my stupid Funeral puns (people are dying to get in here. Get it? haha, ya I know) and it was still awesome.
I wish I could have recorded her reaction, I really do.
OK your turn! What's the best response you've given to a telemarketer?
So I just had a telemarketer call the good ol' Funeral Home where I work. She wanted to talk to the person who is in charge of cleaning supplies. Well, naturally that is the boss. I told her that and she wanted to talk to him. He doesn't want to be bothered with that so I told her, he's not available. Well, she wanted to know when he would be, and I said that it's hard to say since it's a funeral home and people are always dying so we're always busy.
She sounded so taken aback when I said that that the convo ended right there. I even resisted the urge at my stupid Funeral puns (people are dying to get in here. Get it? haha, ya I know) and it was still awesome.
I wish I could have recorded her reaction, I really do.
OK your turn! What's the best response you've given to a telemarketer?
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Replies
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lociento mucho......No hablo ingles......habla espanol?0
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After arguing for a few minutes over whether I was or was not available to talk (he said I was. I disagreed.).....
"Sorry, but if you leave me your home number and the time you eat dinner I'll get back to you soon."0 -
She/he is dead. I killed them and I buried their body under the floor boards. Oh, I'm sorry. What were you saying?0
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After arguing for a few minutes over whether I was or was not available to talk (he said I was. I disagreed.).....
"Sorry, but if you leave me your home number and the time you eat dinner I'll get back to you soon."
Hm, it seems like you would know better or now if you were there.....people these days!
love it! Did you steal that from Seinfeld?0 -
Oh hi. I'm right in the middle of something but why don't you give me YOUR home phone number so I can call and annoy you and try and sell you useless crap that you don't want to buy?0
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She/he is dead. I killed them and I buried their body under the floor boards. Oh, I'm sorry. What were you saying?
Awesome!! :laugh: :laugh:0 -
It's so sweet that you thought of me for this! I feel so special and hand-selected - just like you said.
I've actually pre-approved you for life insurance!! (I work for an insurance company) Congratulations!!! When can you come in for your appointment? When you do, we can discuss my product AND yours!
....
dead air...
click.0 -
It's so sweet that you thought of me for this! I feel so special and hand-selected - just like you said.
I've actually pre-approved you for life insurance!! (I work for an insurance company) Congratulations!!! When can you come in for your appointment? When you do, we can discuss my product AND yours!
....
dead air...
click.
Oh Snap! turn the tables on them!!! haha.
I'm totally trying this one next time.0 -
After arguing for a few minutes over whether I was or was not available to talk (he said I was. I disagreed.).....
"Sorry, but if you leave me your home number and the time you eat dinner I'll get back to you soon."
Hm, it seems like you would know better or now if you were there.....people these days!
love it! Did you steal that from Seinfeld?
No, I got it from my brother. But who knows where he gets stuff...0 -
After arguing for a few minutes over whether I was or was not available to talk (he said I was. I disagreed.).....
"Sorry, but if you leave me your home number and the time you eat dinner I'll get back to you soon."
Hm, it seems like you would know better or now if you were there.....people these days!
love it! Did you steal that from Seinfeld?
haha I was just about to say, the Seinfeld way is my favorite way of handling them0 -
"Hold on just a second, I'll be right back."0
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I always think of that part of the movie "Mrs Doubtfire" where Robin Williams is applying for the nanny job his ex wife listed...."I am Job"...0
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"Hold on just a second, I'll be right back."
Actually that one is quite effective too....0 -
Best ever telemarketer joke:
The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal. As I answered it, I was greeted with, "Is this Karl Brummer"?
Not sounding anything like my name, I asked who was calling.
The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that.
Then I asked him if he knew Karl personally and why was he calling this number.
I then said off to the side, "Get some pictures of the body at various angles and the blood smears."
I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to testify in this murder case.
I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.
The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice.
I then told him we had located his position and the police were entering the building to take him into custody.
At that point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.
My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes. My food was cold, but it was the best meal in a long, long time.0 -
They always pronounce my last name wrong so I say no one lives here by that name and hang up.0
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I'm kinda piggy backing on the cashier thread, but I just talked to a telemarketer today and it was pretty damn funny.
So I just had a telemarketer call the good ol' Funeral Home where I work. She wanted to talk to the person who is in charge of cleaning supplies. Well, naturally that is the boss. I told her that and she wanted to talk to him. He doesn't want to be bothered with that so I told her, he's not available. Well, she wanted to know when he would be, and I said that it's hard to say since it's a funeral home and people are always dying so we're always busy.
She sounded so taken aback when I said that that the convo ended right there. I even resisted the urge at my stupid Funeral puns (people are dying to get in here. Get it? haha, ya I know) and it was still awesome.
I wish I could have recorded her reaction, I really do.
OK your turn! What's the best response you've given to a telemarketer?
Telemarketer constantly calling to speak to the old biddy that used to live at my house with her retired unmarked son.
When they ask to talk to her, I allow my voice to break and say "granny died last week ..."
Had this for real after my father passed away - a credit card company refused to speak to me, wanting to speak to him for confirmation that he wanted the card to be cancelled !!! I asked (politely) to explain to a supervisor who was utterly mortified!!!0 -
The best response to double glazing salespersons is to listen attentively to the whole spiel, and then go
"Wow, that sounds fantastic! I'm really interested! Now tell me, can it be fitted over existing double glazing?"0 -
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This is Detective Anderson. I'm the lead investigator in his murder. We are interviewing everyone who has any relationship with the deceased as a potential suspect. When would be a good time for you to come in for questioning?0
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Years ago, I had a telemarketer call asking me if I was satisfied with my internet service. I told her that I was and she went on with her pitch to get me to switch to this new provider. She spoke broken English, not sure what her native language was but anyhow she was trying to convince me that I would save more money. I told her that I didn't have to pay for my current service and then she asked me who pays for it? I told her that I have a "Sugar Daddy" and he pays for everything, and she needs to get her one so that she doesn't have to continue making sales call to people to get them to switch internet providers. She gasped when I told her that and my hubby was sitting across from me just cracking up laughing. He said poor lady. She ended up telling me to have a nice day. I don't know why I said that but it's no one's business what I do or what I don't pay for.0
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Years ago, I put my 6-year-old on the phone and let him talk until the telemarketer hung up.
Another time, I held the phone over the toilet while I dropped ice in. I alternated that with dribbling water in the toilet. In between, I made a lot of grunting noises. They didn't call back.0 -
My bf gets calls from telemarketers selling viagra. He plays along with them and has them explain all about it, then he says he'll buy some, but only if they let him try it on their wife and daughters.0
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IF he answers it, my bro-in-law yanks there chain EVERY time. He used to be a radio stunt guy. One time they were offering something and he said that if he ordered it, it'd have to get overnighted because he was heading to Canada for killing someone that day.
When my niece was younger, he'd hand her the phone and let them talk to her too.0 -
Me: Hello
Them: Sales Pitch.
Me: Oh, thank you for calling; however I have no need of these services at this time.
Them: Trying to overcome objections.
Me: I understand you are under a lot of pressure to sell, and appreciate that. You have a good day. Goodbye.
WORKS EVERY TIME.0 -
I sometimes time how long it takes for the "line dead" sound from the phone. Every minute I make them waste makes me feel better. <waste my time will you?!>"Hold on just a second, I'll be right back."
Actually that one is quite effective too....0 -
I answer in my old asian lady voice,"He no here, you hang up now!"0
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*strange noise*
Telescumbag - I'm sorry sir I didn't quite make out what you said?
This guy - That's because I was rubbing my balls with the phone.
*click*0 -
Anything that Tom Mabe came up with.....0
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I'm not home0
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*strange noise*
Telescumbag - I'm sorry sir I didn't quite make out what you said?
This guy - That's because I was rubbing my balls with the phone.
*click*
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: telescumbag!!! hahaha0
http://youtu.be/QRh1CMC3OVw
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