Best response to a telemarketer.

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Replies

  • thoshowski
    thoshowski Posts: 135 Member
    I just hand the phone to my 3 year old and tell her it's Santa

    That's awesome!
  • cmacphee3
    cmacphee3 Posts: 278 Member
    I always feel sorry for them. I know people doing these jobs not because they want to but because there is no work out there.... So I try to be polite.

    Most of the time my first response is a polite, "No, thank you, I'm not interested." 9 times out of 10, though, they won't accept that answer. I usually have to resort to "mean" tactics.

    They don't accept that answer because they have been told they aren't allowed. My boyfriend used to work at a ****ty call centre calling about On Star, and he had to do at least FOUR rebuttals before he could accept them saying no. He did get paid a very low base wage, but most of their money comes from commission, and there were extra bonuses for top sellers, and lots of meetings, warnings and probation for people who didn't push push push and did not do the mandatory number of rebuttals or meet sales minimums.
  • Swissmiss
    Swissmiss Posts: 8,754 Member
    lociento mucho......No hablo ingles......habla espanol?

    Love it !!!
  • krash999
    krash999 Posts: 476 Member
    i have some friends that own a auto repair shop and when they get those calls they keep passing the phone around from one to the other until they hang up. the funniest is when they just hand the phone to a random customer that is there at the time....

    another one.. my dad got a call once from a guy trying to sell toner for copiers he went through his spill and my dad just hung up on him. he called right back and said "You hung up on me!" to which my dad just replied "Ya, want to hear it again?" and hung up on him again.... absolutely hilarious....
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
    i put them on "hold", wait a minute then just hang up. if they call back my new york accent gets even stronger and i curse them the **** out. i haven't gotten phone calls in eons, or jahovas at my door for that matter either.
  • Merrychrissmith
    Merrychrissmith Posts: 231 Member
    Mostly i just hang up but when I get full of myself I answer " Attorney Generals Office." in my work voice. Works pretty well, but if they persist I proceed to interrogate them by pressuring for their personal information etc.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    Years ago, I put my 6-year-old on the phone and let him talk until the telemarketer hung up.

    Another time, I held the phone over the toilet while I dropped ice in. I alternated that with dribbling water in the toilet. In between, I made a lot of grunting noises. They didn't call back.

    I had to squeeze my face to keep from cracking up at this!

    We never answer the phone at home. At work we get calls from people saying they're from the company that provides the manual for our copier, and they just need the model number on the front of the machine. Every time I ask "Which company is that?" they hang up on me, so now I ask them to hold while I get it, and leave them there til they hang up. I wish we had caller ID at work.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Me: Hello
    Them: Sales Pitch.
    Me: Oh, thank you for calling; however I have no need of these services at this time.
    Them: Trying to overcome objections.
    Me: I understand you are under a lot of pressure to sell, and appreciate that. You have a good day. Goodbye.

    WORKS EVERY TIME.

    I telemarketed and it sucked. And I would appreciate someone saying that and just letting me know they weren't interested politely.
  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
    Not so much a telemarketer, but we had one of those "Windows Security" scammers call, and I was lucky enough to pick up the phone.

    He said he was from "Windows", and that my computer had some sort of critical error on it, and I had to go to a website and install something.

    I kept asking him if he was from 'Microsoft' Windows, and he kept dodging it and telling me "yes, from Windows".

    I played dumb for awhile, asked him if he knew Bill Gates, and then lied and told him I didn't evn have a computer. Then I asked to speak with Bill Gates.

    He hung up on me. Not the funniest, but I really enjoyed pissing him off :laugh:
  • Booksandbeaches
    Booksandbeaches Posts: 1,791 Member
    I have a young voice so I just tell them my parents aren't home. Works every time.

    This is what I used to do too when I had a landline that got calls from telemarketers.
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    my one aunt was fond of handing the phone to her toddler and letting him talk til the person hung up. Also fun is quietly setting the phone down and walking away....
  • Fvaisey
    Fvaisey Posts: 5,506 Member
    I'm not sure how he does it, although I have listened while he did, he can get into a personal conversation with a telemarketer. He kept one lady on the phone for 20 minutes. She lived in Georgia, had so many children, one daughter his age, did not like her job, etc... He keeps us in stitches.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,990 Member
    My best one:

    Me: Hello?

    Tel: May I speak with the owner of the house?

    Me: He's been murdered...........I'm detective Stadanko, who is this calling?

    Tel: Oh, I'm sorry................I'm just calling for soliciting purposes.

    Me: DON'T HANG UP..............I need to know who you are and where you work!

    Tel: Like I said, I was just calling to solicit a service..................

    Me: (slightly covering the mic) We got a trace on the line?
    Okay, whoever this is, we are on our way over to interrogate you. DO NOT LEAVE FROM WHERE YOU ARE.

    Tel: But, but.

    HANG UP PHONE

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • desiv2
    desiv2 Posts: 651 Member
    No, but I swear Antonio Banderas tried to sell me an internet/phone/tv bundle one time.
  • Deedsie
    Deedsie Posts: 348 Member
    I say hi and let them give their canned speech. Then, I say, I'm sorry but I wasn't paying attention can you tell me again. The I wait and say it again and again until finally they hang up.
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    Me: Hello
    Them: Sales Pitch.
    Me: Oh, thank you for calling; however I have no need of these services at this time.
    Them: Trying to overcome objections.
    Me: I understand you are under a lot of pressure to sell, and appreciate that. You have a good day. Goodbye.

    WORKS EVERY TIME.

    I actually feel some sympathy for people who need to do this work. I just tell them that I never buy anything over the phone, so their time is wasted on me. Plus, I try to be sympathetic with their job. It works....mostly.
  • Chelsrf
    Chelsrf Posts: 194 Member
    OP - Oh that's good.
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
    If they ask for me, I say that I'm 'my' brother and that i was killed in a fatal car accident, but my bereaved widow is here if they would like to talk to her...


    and if they try to sell me phone/cell phone deals I wait for the canned speech and ask if the phone has blue tooth and if I could use it for america and if it's free can I have more than one. I wait for responses then ask if i can use my existing headphones on it. I keep doing this until they hang up. never ever hang up on them first.
  • KittyCannibal
    KittyCannibal Posts: 165
    Person: Is this the Krusty Crab?
    You: No this is Patrick!
    *hangs up*
  • HypersonicFitNess
    HypersonicFitNess Posts: 1,219 Member
    Well a friend of mine told her 3 year old it was Mickey Mouse and put her on.... :)
  • aimeechantelle
    aimeechantelle Posts: 4 Member
    "No I'm sorry they are not available"
    "Is there a friend or family member available?"
    "No afraid not, I'm just the burglar!"

    I had to just put the phone down, was in a funny mood so just fell about laughing!
  • FitnessPalWorks
    FitnessPalWorks Posts: 1,128 Member
    I don't have time to read everyone's responses (sorry) but the best thing I ever did was tell a telemarketer to "hold on a sec...."

    I then:

    1. Grabbed my laundry, put it in the washer, checked to see if they were still there, "I'm sorry, just another minute.... I'll be right back"
    2. Folded a few towels, put them away in the hallway closet, went back to phone, they were still there, so I....
    3. Checked my email, and Facebook... went back to phone....

    they finally hung up ..... and NEVER called again.

    I'm pretty sure they were on the phone a good 10 minutes waiting for me to, "come right back"...

    LOL
  • MightyDomo
    MightyDomo Posts: 1,265 Member
    I answer and say hello since I don't always recognize the number, once they are about 4-5 words into the conversation (long enough to say it's a telemarketing type call) and then I immediately say I am not interested and *click*.

    They do not deserve my time when they forcibly have wasted it in the past :/
  • FitnessPalWorks
    FitnessPalWorks Posts: 1,128 Member
    I say hi and let them give their canned speech. Then, I say, I'm sorry but I wasn't paying attention can you tell me again. The I wait and say it again and again until finally they hang up.

    That's something comedian Jim Florentine would do... has anyone heard this?

    http://youtu.be/BvaIqLsPCOU

    BTW, Jim told me himself that after this call the guy got fired from his job. LOL
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
    I was always a fan of either screaming into the phone or using a whistle.
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
    I had to sell a phone over the phone, dumbest idea ever....so 1 time this guy answered, and he said he had that exact phone already, lol.
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
    "What are you wearing?"
    Sometimes it can back fire :S

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