Best response to a telemarketer.

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  • madworld1
    madworld1 Posts: 524
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    Years ago, I put my 6-year-old on the phone and let him talk until the telemarketer hung up.

    Another time, I held the phone over the toilet while I dropped ice in. I alternated that with dribbling water in the toilet. In between, I made a lot of grunting noises. They didn't call back.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    My bf gets calls from telemarketers selling viagra. He plays along with them and has them explain all about it, then he says he'll buy some, but only if they let him try it on their wife and daughters.
  • gdrmuzak
    gdrmuzak Posts: 103 Member
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    IF he answers it, my bro-in-law yanks there chain EVERY time. He used to be a radio stunt guy. One time they were offering something and he said that if he ordered it, it'd have to get overnighted because he was heading to Canada for killing someone that day.

    When my niece was younger, he'd hand her the phone and let them talk to her too.
  • wellbert
    wellbert Posts: 3,924 Member
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    Me: Hello
    Them: Sales Pitch.
    Me: Oh, thank you for calling; however I have no need of these services at this time.
    Them: Trying to overcome objections.
    Me: I understand you are under a lot of pressure to sell, and appreciate that. You have a good day. Goodbye.

    WORKS EVERY TIME.
  • VorJoshigan
    VorJoshigan Posts: 1,106 Member
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    "Hold on just a second, I'll be right back."

    Actually that one is quite effective too....
    I sometimes time how long it takes for the "line dead" sound from the phone. Every minute I make them waste makes me feel better. <waste my time will you?!>
  • Raya1980
    Raya1980 Posts: 67
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    I answer in my old asian lady voice,"He no here, you hang up now!"
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    *strange noise*

    Telescumbag - I'm sorry sir I didn't quite make out what you said?

    This guy - That's because I was rubbing my balls with the phone.

    *click*
  • trybefan
    trybefan Posts: 488 Member
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    Anything that Tom Mabe came up with.....
  • Donnaakamagmid
    Donnaakamagmid Posts: 198 Member
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    I'm not home
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
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    *strange noise*

    Telescumbag - I'm sorry sir I didn't quite make out what you said?

    This guy - That's because I was rubbing my balls with the phone.

    *click*

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: telescumbag!!! hahaha
  • Maddalen101
    Maddalen101 Posts: 307 Member
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    I snarl at them.
    "Don't you even TRY being friendly."
    "Tell me what you want. NOW."
    I have a lot of fun throwing them off their script and their game.
  • _skittybang
    _skittybang Posts: 970 Member
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    Elf has never failed me:

    "Oh HI!!!! What's your favorite color?"

    Confusion. Click.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    My great aunt used to pretend to be hard of hearing and ask them to repeat themselves constantly in this raggedy old-lady voice until they hung up.

    Then she'd say, "Well, they won't be calling again!"

    She was great!
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    Telemarketer: "I'm calling from Microsoft. There's a virus on your computer. We'll help you fix it."
    Me: "Huh? I don't own a computer."
    Telemarketer: "... what? You must own a computer."
    Me: "I don't own a computer!"
    Telemarketer: "Oh."

    Nigerian Scam Artist: "Hello. I'm calling from your credit card company. I need to talk to you about your mastercard or visa."
    Me: "I'm sorry. Did you want to talk to my parents?"
    Nigerian Scam Artist: "Yes. Is your mother home?"
    Me: "Just a minute." *puts phone down and leaves phone down while goes about doing chores*
  • IntoTheSky
    IntoTheSky Posts: 390 Member
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    Sir, I have told you 3 times I am not interested in whatever you are selling. And I am not even sure WHAT you are selling, as your understanding of the English language seems to be better than your ability to SPEAK the English language. *then, in my best Apu voice* Thank you - come again
  • painthoss
    painthoss Posts: 63 Member
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    A very young woman called to try to sell me death insurance for my brand spankin' new Macy's credit card. When I declined, she very pertly explained that she could offer me a three month trial for free. She just kept repeating, " But you don't understand, you can try it for free for 3 months to see if you like it!"

    I don't think she got that I'd have to die to try it out.
  • Lrdoflamancha
    Lrdoflamancha Posts: 1,280 Member
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    Set the phone down and quietly walk away. Telemarketer company pays employee and phone charged. Win win
  • Louisianababy93
    Louisianababy93 Posts: 1,709 Member
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    i dont even talk.. i wait for the person to come on the line and blow an airhorn or a whistle in their ear.
  • Charlie003
    Charlie003 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    I just try selling them something back.
  • Gilbrod
    Gilbrod Posts: 1,216 Member
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    Someone called my wife by her maiden name. When they asked for her, I said "she doesn't exist anymore." The person gave me condolences and said they would cross her off the list.

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