Friends with benifits

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Replies

  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    Missed the student-teacher point... If that is the case, leave it totally alone... This is better left at a professional standpoint -- of course I always prefer same sex trainer-student partnerships anyway if for no other reason that goals and such are so often different...
  • samantha1242
    samantha1242 Posts: 816 Member
    99.9% of the time one person develops feelings. I made that percent up. But mine have 100% failed, crashed, burned, ruined friendships, broken hearts.... I'd advise against unless you lay down the rules and and are on the same page. It's not wrong in my opinion. I've just never experienced a positive outcome.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
    I have been with my FWB for 3.5 years. We were friends for 5 years before we even slept together. Has it changed our relationship? On some level yes, on others no. It really depends on you, the person and what you are expecting. When I started sleeping with my friend we had a talk, so we knew both were on the same page and even now, we hang out, we go to movies and dinner and work on cars and drinks - everything we did before but there is no hand holding etc. We were very close to start with and that made a big difference, we could and still can talk about everything. I trust him and he trusts me.

    Friends with benefits is still a relationship of sorts though and if you are not on the same page as the other person it won't work - EVER. he is ALWAYS aware if I am going out on a date with someone and I always know when he is going out on a date with someone - we are best friends he knows everything about me and vice versa. We both also know that if one of us finds someone that we are seriously going to see more than once or twice or thinking about sleeping with someone else the benefits are gone.

    I have however been in an FWB relationships that ended badly - it really depends on the people involved.
  • intrepidity
    intrepidity Posts: 110
    Confession...we've kissed :/
  • icepak24
    icepak24 Posts: 18 Member
    If either person isn't good at compartmentalizing, forget it - it's not going to work.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    @davpul she's actually really,really hot. That's why its a problem. If she was ugly it'd be easy.

    I edited that section out when you got to the part where she was a youngster that looks up to you as a person of authority. I no longer care what she looks like. I'm a solid "no" vote now.

    You two aren't friends. She's your client/student. Back back

    ^ What he said. And then you say confession you've kissed...Dude...*shakes head*
  • TheGlen
    TheGlen Posts: 242 Member
    I have experience with similar situations, and this one in particular has all kinds of red flags...

    1) You know/respect her parents - this will eventually get back to them.
    2) She knows/frequents your place of work - when/if this blows up, it will make the situation very awkward...possibly career damaging.
    3) She is a student of yours - as someone in a power/authoritative position, you should really man up and not take advantage of this.

    HOWEVER...
    You have said multiple times that she is hot, and 21; so it may be worth it :D

    (we'd need to see pictures to know for sure and give you accurate advice)
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    ABANDONTHREAD.gif
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    @davpul she's actually really,really hot. That's why its a problem. If she was ugly it'd be easy.

    I edited that section out when you got to the part where she was a youngster that looks up to you as a person of authority. I no longer care what she looks like. I'm a solid "no" vote now.

    You two aren't friends. She's your client/student. Back back

    Mmmhmmm!! Agree!!
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    Confession...we've kissed :/

    Waiting on confession part 2- she's asleep in your bed and asked for a drawer.
  • Cespuglio
    Cespuglio Posts: 385 Member
    Like a lot of people on here, I would have said go for it if it weren't for the combination of the teacher/student relationship AND her age. If it had been one or the other, it wouldn't have been an issue. However, the combination of the two is damn near fatal because it wouldn't be a scenario you could easily walk away from; unless, of course, you don't mind quitting your job. If she had been your really hot student who was a bit older, then I'd say go for it because I'd be more confident she'd be able to keep it discreet. If she were a hot 21 year old who you met anywhere other than your work place, I'd say go for it because if it doesn't work out you can cut ties and not worry about running into each other. However, as two other posters mentioned: 1.) She's more likely to talk/brag about it, might mention it to the wrong person and word WILL get around and 2.) at 21 she might be an adult legally, but still very young emotionally and most likely to become very clingy if the sex happens too frequently and/or needy and insecure if it doesn't happen frequently enough.

    All that being said, I'm sure you'll go for it anyway since you find her really really really hot, but at least you've been warned. You'll learn from your own experience and discover it wasn't really worth it. I could be wrong and hope that I am for your sake!
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Confession...we've kissed :/

    Waiting on confession part 2- she's asleep in your bed and asked for a drawer.

    You forgot to add she's pregnant and asking for a ring on her finger..or is that part 3....I can't remember if that is part 3 or the ankle smashing scene in Misery.
  • rebeccap13
    rebeccap13 Posts: 754 Member
    Whenever I read "confession" its always sung by Usher...
  • childermass
    childermass Posts: 115 Member
    At 21...I fell in love with everyone. Seriously. Its gonna end badly.
    sorry - I remember being 21 too.
    she's probably doing mash-ups of your pictures to see what your babies look like...
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    At 21...I fell in love with everyone. Seriously. Its gonna end badly.
    sorry - I remember being 21 too.
    she's probably doing mash-ups of your pictures to see what your babies look like...

    Creeeeppppyyyyy

    thumbs_creepy_gif.gif
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    At 21...I fell in love with everyone. Seriously. Its gonna end badly.
    sorry - I remember being 21 too.
    she's probably doing mash-ups of your pictures to see what your babies look like...

    lol- true story.
    You should probably check her browser history for adiamondisforever.com
  • childermass
    childermass Posts: 115 Member
    HEY, where'd you get my baby pics?!
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    At 21...I fell in love with everyone. Seriously. Its gonna end badly.
    sorry - I remember being 21 too.
    she's probably doing mash-ups of your pictures to see what your babies look like...

    ^^^ LOL
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    At 21...I fell in love with everyone. Seriously. Its gonna end badly.
    sorry - I remember being 21 too.
    she's probably doing mash-ups of your pictures to see what your babies look like...

    And writing "Mrs. Intrepidity" about a hundred times in cute little pink hearts.
  • bbgughj
    bbgughj Posts: 219 Member
    Confession...we've kissed :/


    Tap Dat Azz ! :laugh:

    Nah , Seriously leave it alone
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I've had two such relationships in my life, and they were both really awesome. In both cases, we were on the same page and just had a good time...nobody got hurt...just had a good time. We're all still friends to this day, though there are no longer any benefits other than being really good friends.
  • TheGlen
    TheGlen Posts: 242 Member
    At 21...I fell in love with everyone. Seriously. Its gonna end badly.
    sorry - I remember being 21 too.
    she's probably doing mash-ups of your pictures to see what your babies look like...

    LMAO... I have a couple "mash-up" photos from when I was dating a girl around that age; I'm so happy my actual kids don't look like mutants.
  • Factory_Reset
    Factory_Reset Posts: 1,651 Member
    Confession...we've kissed :/

    Waiting on confession part 2- she's asleep in your bed and asked for a drawer.


    Hahaha...exactly what I was thinking!!
  • Cespuglio
    Cespuglio Posts: 385 Member
    At 21...I fell in love with everyone. Seriously. Its gonna end badly.
    sorry - I remember being 21 too.
    she's probably doing mash-ups of your pictures to see what your babies look like...

    I LOL'ed so hard!
  • WeekndOVOXO
    WeekndOVOXO Posts: 779 Member
    sounds like someones had experience with this! haa.

    experience? more like nightmares lol.

    FWB is a game of Russian roulette, eventually the gun goes off.
  • oliviamariex
    oliviamariex Posts: 28
    Well it''s not my job to judge anyone. But I certainly would not participate in a friends with benefits relationship; nor would I feel comfortable dating someone who had done it in the past.
  • WeekndOVOXO
    WeekndOVOXO Posts: 779 Member
    Whenever I read "confession" its always sung by Usher...

    This. Every time this.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    I would probably develop feelings, but would give it a try if the sex was incredible.
  • dmandrews1
    dmandrews1 Posts: 40
    sounds like someones had experience with this! haa.

    experience? more like nightmares lol.
    Haa, sounds like it!
  • intrepidity
    intrepidity Posts: 110
    Ummm you guys are scaring me. I did see a binder in her car the other day, one she uses at college, it had a picture of me and her at a crossfit challenge. Didn't think much about it cause there were a few other pics under the plastic...but there was a heart kind of by my pic now that I think about it.
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