Friends with benifits

intrepidity

Thanks again for all the feedback guys. Gotta hit the sack. Very eye opening.

lina011

never works out............ from my own personal experience.
jealously is a major concern

atjays

Nope!!! Maybe I have no shame, but I'm seeing someone right now and we both know that there is no future there, just great here and now sex. Nothing unhealthy about that and we both have a great relationship/friendship because of it

abrahamsitososa

It doesn't work out unless the friend is a prostitute. Women always fall in love when they have sex. They see it in a different way than we do.

You sound like a man with a lot of experience with prostitutes.

This is not true, BTW.

Hmmm I've never had sex with a prostitute. I know prostitutes can't fall in love with a john because they are doing it for money not for pleasure. But I've seen on Dr. Phill and other research i've done leads me to believe that women are more emotional than men when it comes to sex and to men it's just a physical satisfaction. Everyone is different of course but the stats for those reports are taken from a big majority of women. From my experience everyone I've ever had sex with fell in love even if it was supposed to be a casual thing. The more sex you have the more they fall in love. You can pretty much say that the definition of love is what a woman thinks when a man is ****ing her. Excuse my language.

Oishii

It seems that Internet trolls go to sleep when discovered, like 'real' trolls turn to stone in daylight :laugh:

My personal experience is that FWB can work out fine if you're seeing other people and it really is just FWB, not the only way to sleep with someone you're crazy about.

As for sleeping with a student, been there too, but he wasn't in my class, was only eight days younger than me and his parents were fine with it.

It kind of saddens me that a troll's fantasy is so dull that it matches up with my real life! :laugh:

Or this one could be real and only the body guard was a fantasy? The wonders of the Internet....

1ConcreteGirl

"I've seen on Dr Phil and other research" leads you to believe "women always fall in love when they have sex"?!

This is quite possibly the most foolish research I have ever heard cited, especially given to support such a truly ignorant perspective. You can say that in your case 100% of women you have slept with have fallen for you. But to take your experience (plus your farcical research) and say that's how the whole world works is both incredibly arrogant and patently illogical. By the way, it is 100% of men in my experience, but I'm not running around making easily disproved claims. My very existence disproves your argument.

Okay.

I'm done now.

It doesn't work out unless the friend is a prostitute. Women always fall in love when they have sex. They see it in a different way than we do.

You sound like a man with a lot of experience with prostitutes.

This is not true, BTW.

Hmmm I've never had sex with a prostitute. I know prostitutes can't fall in love with a john because they are doing it for money not for pleasure. But I've seen on Dr. Phill and other research i've done leads me to believe that women are more emotional than men when it comes to sex and to men it's just a physical satisfaction. Everyone is different of course but the stats for those reports are taken from a big majority of women. From my experience everyone I've ever had sex with fell in love even if it was supposed to be a casual thing. The more sex you have the more they fall in love. You can pretty much say that the definition of love is what a woman thinks when a man is ****ing her. Excuse my language.

abrahamsitososa

"I've seen on Dr Phil and other research" leads you to believe "women always fall in love when they have sex"?!

This is quite possibly the most foolish research I have ever heard cited, especially given to support such a truly ignorant perspective. You can say that in your case 100% of women you have slept with have fallen for you. But to take your experience (plus your farcical research) and say that's how the whole world works is both incredibly arrogant and patently illogical. By the way, it is 100% of men in my experience, but I'm not running around making easily disproved claims. My very existence disproves your argument.

Okay.

I'm done now.

It doesn't work out unless the friend is a prostitute. Women always fall in love when they have sex. They see it in a different way than we do.

You sound like a man with a lot of experience with prostitutes.

This is not true, BTW.

Hmmm I've never had sex with a prostitute. I know prostitutes can't fall in love with a john because they are doing it for money not for pleasure. But I've seen on Dr. Phill and other research i've done leads me to believe that women are more emotional than men when it comes to sex and to men it's just a physical satisfaction. Everyone is different of course but the stats for those reports are taken from a big majority of women. From my experience everyone I've ever had sex with fell in love even if it was supposed to be a casual thing. The more sex you have the more they fall in love. You can pretty much say that the definition of love is what a woman thinks when a man is ****ing her. Excuse my language.

I meant a big percentage. I havent slept with many women throughout my life if you are insinuating that I said that and however many men you've slept with well I don't know and I wouldn't put it past you that you have or haven't but congratulations on scoring your points if you think it's cool to make men fall in love or if you think the whole friends with benefits thing is cool. To each their own. I had my teenager years and as a 30 year old man I don't think it would be fun for me to be out in one of those friends with benefits relationships. People always get hurt like that.

be_dazzled

"Women fall in love everytime they have sex"

I have never heard such a ridiculous statement in my life.
Women are just as capable of no strings sex as men

Don't flatter yourself into believing it always means something!!!

DavPul

It doesn't work out unless the friend is a prostitute. Women always fall in love when they have sex. They see it in a different way than we do.

Soooooooo, of all the women you've had sex with, the only ones that didn't fall in love with you immediately were prostitutes. Got it, check.

DavPul

Hmmm I've never had sex with a prostitute. I know prostitutes can't fall in love with a john because they are doing it for money not for pleasure. But I've seen on Dr. Phill and other research i've done leads me to believe that women are more emotional than men when it comes to sex and to men it's just a physical satisfaction. Everyone is different of course but the stats for those reports are taken from a big majority of women. From my experience everyone I've ever had sex with fell in love even if it was supposed to be a casual thing. The more sex you have the more they fall in love. You can pretty much say that the definition of love is what a woman thinks when a man is ****ing her. Excuse my language.

uh oh! someone is digging himself a hole

I meant a big percentage. I havent slept with many women throughout my life if you are insinuating that I said that and however many men you've slept with well I don't know and I wouldn't put it past you that you have or haven't but congratulations on scoring your points if you think it's cool to make men fall in love or if you think the whole friends with benefits thing is cool. To each their own. I had my teenager years and as a 30 year old man I don't think it would be fun for me to be out in one of those friends with benefits relationships. People always get hurt like that.

baileyK1

Don't do it, Good friends are hard to find. Keep things just the way they are.... and hold on to it!

abrahamsitososa

Hmmm I've never had sex with a prostitute. I know prostitutes can't fall in love with a john because they are doing it for money not for pleasure. But I've seen on Dr. Phill and other research i've done leads me to believe that women are more emotional than men when it comes to sex and to men it's just a physical satisfaction. Everyone is different of course but the stats for those reports are taken from a big majority of women. From my experience everyone I've ever had sex with fell in love even if it was supposed to be a casual thing. The more sex you have the more they fall in love. You can pretty much say that the definition of love is what a woman thinks when a man is ****ing her. Excuse my language.

uh oh! someone is digging himself a hole

I meant a big percentage. I havent slept with many women throughout my life if you are insinuating that I said that and however many men you've slept with well I don't know and I wouldn't put it past you that you have or haven't but congratulations on scoring your points if you think it's cool to make men fall in love or if you think the whole friends with benefits thing is cool. To each their own. I had my teenager years and as a 30 year old man I don't think it would be fun for me to be out in one of those friends with benefits relationships. People always get hurt like that.

What hole am I digging myself into? Lol if I wasn't scared of catching a disease or something I would have probably experimented with one before getting married. And if people think that I have or haven't so what? How will anyone's thoughts influence my future? I was giving some man to man advice to the original person that started the thread and gave my 2 cents so big deal. Everyone has their own opinion and whoever doesn't like mine well too bad.

MrsBikiniBound

Oh geez... Well, FWB can definitely work- and I disagree with the poster who said that the girl always gets attached- this is not true.

What it comes down to is the fact that you are her instructor- you need to protect your professional reputation. She may very well be a hot mature 21 year old who can handle a FWB arrangement (there are girls like this out there).... But typically I've seen these situations tend to work out in a different way.. Meaning she's a horny 21 year old girl who enjoys the attention and wants to come off cool by proposing a FWB arrangement. Based on the fact that she has pictures of you on her binder - you know that she has a little bit of a crush... Which is fine but sex can tend to complicate things. The age difference isn't really the thing that makes this complicated- I have a few girlfriends who enjoy FWB arrangements with older guys- it's the fact that if this goes awry, you have ALOT more to lose than she does.

I would say don't risk your reputation in this case, harmless flirtation is fun but I see FWB going wrong in all sorts of ways here. But at the end of the day- you're both consenting adults so be safe if you chose to move forward.

MrsBikiniBound

It doesn't work out unless the friend is a prostitute. Women always fall in love when they have sex. They see it in a different way than we do.

I really, really hope that this was a joke.

PetulantOne

Nothing wrong with it at all.

The female will almost always end up wanting more though and ruin it.

QFT

Men are just as bad. Trust me.

JennetteMac

I speak with (limited) experience.
My friend and I were both in really low places, me cos of a failing marriage, him because his wife died. We have been friends for years, Had a little too much to drink one night and ended up enjoying more than company, decided it was fun and we'd see what happened but keep it secret. After a few months we'd moved on and are still friends but no more benefits.
I don't think we're as close as we were before, but it was certainly great while it lasted.
I think my point is, if you need to be close to someone, and are prepared for the downside, it can work. Just don't expect there to be no fallout.
Good luck.

abrahamsitososa

It doesn't work out unless the friend is a prostitute. Women always fall in love when they have sex. They see it in a different way than we do.

I really, really hope that this was a joke.

Sorry if you feel offended. I was speaking based on statistics according to certain professionals that specialise in sex. Men are bigger *kitten* and horndogs, women are more romantic, men like rougher sex than women etc... Just statistics. I'm sure the original person that started this thread knows what I mean when I said women fall in love with sex and he's probably going through that. Chances are he wants nothing serious and is afraid to break her heart.

littlewitch1973

FWB can work out if BOTH people are on the same page. I have had a few arrangements like this... One, for over 15 years - and still going!! One lasted only a few months, due to distance, and the guy wanting more. I had just left a really bad marriage, and wasnt ready for that emotional commitment. He completely understood, and was honest enough to tell me he was feeling more, and it wasnt a good place for us to be at that time.

Maturity and being honest are necessary - dont lead her on and let her think its something more than a FWB arrangement - even then, people can read more into it, and hope for more. As long as there is good communication and honesty about where you are going and what you are looking for during the entire thing, it CAN work.

samf36

Aww! Slippery slopes are SO much fun on the way down but really impossible to get back to the top. I hope it works out but I have never seen it work in real life. Tell me again why u two wont date?

Well for starters she's a student in my crossfit class. I know her parents and she's about 12 yrs younger than me She wants to and she's really hot but I respect her parents and the ethics of student/teacher relationship.

While I think it is bad on many levels the fact she is your student is a HUGE red flag in my book. Depending on your state you could go to jail if she decides to press charges for a person in authority ( her teacher) pressuring her for sex if things do not go as planned. It could also cost you your job, label you as a sex offender , and cost you a lot of money.
Walk away !!

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

Aww! Slippery slopes are SO much fun on the way down but really impossible to get back to the top. I hope it works out but I have never seen it work in real life. Tell me again why u two wont date?

Well for starters she's a student in my crossfit class. I know her parents and she's about 12 yrs younger than me She wants to and she's really hot but I respect her parents and the ethics of student/teacher relationship.

While I think it is bad on many levels the fact she is your student is a HUGE red flag in my book. Depending on your state you could go to jail if she decides to press charges for a person in authority ( her teacher) pressuring her for sex if things do not go as planned. It could also cost you your job, label you as a sex offender , and cost you a lot of money.
Walk away !!

Ummmm, no. That is untrue on a number of levels. She isn't a student. She's a paying client. He has no authority as she can quit at any time and simply stop paying. If she were to "press charges" as a 21 year old who got dumped after being in a consensual relationship, the cops would laugh, the DA would laugh, and pretty sure anyone else who heard she did such a stupid thing would laugh. There's no "my personal trainer and I had a failed fling, and I got hurt, boo hoo" statute. It isn't sexual harassment. No need to scare the guy with a bunch of false legal stuff.

Besides, I'm pretty sure he was just having a little fun with us.

1ConcreteGirl

Hmmm I've never had sex with a prostitute. I know prostitutes can't fall in love with a john because they are doing it for money not for pleasure. But I've seen on Dr. Phill and other research i've done leads me to believe that women are more emotional than men when it comes to sex and to men it's just a physical satisfaction. Everyone is different of course but the stats for those reports are taken from a big majority of women. From my experience everyone I've ever had sex with fell in love even if it was supposed to be a casual thing. The more sex you have the more they fall in love. You can pretty much say that the definition of love is what a woman thinks when a man is ****ing her. Excuse my language.

uh oh! someone is digging himself a hole

I meant a big percentage. I havent slept with many women throughout my life if you are insinuating that I said that and however many men you've slept with well I don't know and I wouldn't put it past you that you have or haven't but congratulations on scoring your points if you think it's cool to make men fall in love or if you think the whole friends with benefits thing is cool. To each their own. I had my teenager years and as a 30 year old man I don't think it would be fun for me to be out in one of those friends with benefits relationships. People always get hurt like that.

What hole am I digging myself into? Lol if I wasn't scared of catching a disease or something I would have probably experimented with one before getting married. And if people think that I have or haven't so what? How will anyone's thoughts influence my future? I was giving some man to man advice to the original person that started the thread and gave my 2 cents so big deal. Everyone has their own opinion and whoever doesn't like mine well too bad.

Listen, you are the one who said "all women fall in love when they have sex." All means all, and I'm pretty sure you're intelligent for me not to have to point you to Webster's on this one. If someone questions you and you say, "You can pretty much say that the definition of love is what a woman thinks when a man is ****ing her," then you are repeating the strength of your original statement.

Then someone points out the complete lack of logic in that statement and you immediately start backpedaling, "well, by saying 'all,' and ' love is what a woman thinks when a man is ****ing her," I actually meant most...." and then you say, actually "I meant a big percentage..."

Listen. These are all actual quotes from you. I'm not attacking you and I am being kind and ignoring your petty personal attacks because they have no bearing on this discussion. This is not about me and it is not about you or whatever your opinion is. You stated it as fact and said you had done research on it.

When you state something as fact, you have to back it up and you didn't. When you attack someone personally because you can't back it up, that's illogical. And when you continue arguing because you aren't man enough to admit your mistakes, that's you right there, bulldozing your way into a lake.

SeaJenni

Every friend I have who scored a Friends With Benefits situation, eventually had a stalker. I think when a crazy person knows they can't get you in a relationship, they bait with you uncomplicated sex. Bait and switch. Don't do it.

DavPul

What hole am I digging myself into? Lol if I wasn't scared of catching a disease or something I would have probably experimented with one before getting married. And if people think that I have or haven't so what? How will anyone's thoughts influence my future? I was giving some man to man advice to the original person that started the thread and gave my 2 cents so big deal. Everyone has their own opinion and whoever doesn't like mine well too bad.

Listen, you are the one who said "all women fall in love when they have sex." All means all, and I'm pretty sure you're intelligent for me not to have to point you to Webster's on this one. If someone questions you and you say, "You can pretty much say that the definition of love is what a woman thinks when a man is ****ing her," then you are repeating the strength of your original statement.

Then someone points out the complete lack of logic in that statement and you immediately start backpedaling, "well, by saying 'all,' and ' love is what a woman thinks when a man is ****ing her," I actually meant most...." and then you say, actually "I meant a big percentage..."

Listen. These are all actual quotes from you. I'm not attacking you and I am being kind and ignoring your petty personal attacks because they have no bearing on this discussion. This is not about me and it is not about you or whatever your opinion is. You stated it as fact and said you had done research on it.

When you state something as fact, you have to back it up and you didn't. When you attack someone personally because you can't back it up, that's illogical. And when you continue arguing because you aren't man enough to admit your mistakes, that's you right there, bulldozing your way into a lake.

Logic'd

FightingforFit82

I think its a bad idea

bridgelene

Nothing wrong with that, as long as both people are exactly on the same page about it.

Exactly. I was there for a while, til all of a sudden my friend completely cut off all contact with me and EVERYONE else -- even those they weren't boppin' -- when they got into a new relationship (which even their mom said over and over again is unhealthy, the person is not welcome in the mom's house, and my friend has ended up in the psych ward bc the relationship is so dysfunctional). Sucks, bc that was my best friend and I would've rather been platonic friends than completely cut off), but it is what it is.

Lake_Po

I don't think there's anything wrong with that as long as both parties are very sure of what's going on and are okay with that. Honesty is where it's at with that.

PhearlessPhreaks

Do you think its wrong to have a friend that you really like and really like to be around, workout with, laugh with, but you have crazy sex? But it has no chance at a relationship as far as bf/gf marriage?

If she likes you and you like her, why not just date? The whole friends with benefits thing never works out the way we'd like, because as many people already said- one of the two always ends up wanting more. I know, because I've been in that situation. It's not fun, particularly when you're the one who has the stronger feelings.

Unless one of you is already attached (and if so, you shouldn't even be contemplating FwB!) why not try dating and see how it goes?

Cyndi1

Everyone needs a playmate, but what you described sounds like a person who you enjoy???? why not try the boyfriend/girlfriend...... what is about the person that you dont see as a potential partner....Anyways live in the moment, no regrets.... Just remember that once the stage is set as just playmates...the other person wont entertain the relationship later when you realize you want more..... best way to be is be open and say lets live in the moment...allowing it to be just playmates or for the person to grow on you.... : ) all the best.

PhearlessPhreaks

Aww! Slippery slopes are SO much fun on the way down but really impossible to get back to the top. I hope it works out but I have never seen it work in real life. Tell me again why u two wont date?

Well for starters she's a student in my crossfit class. I know her parents and she's about 12 yrs younger than me She wants to and she's really hot but I respect her parents and the ethics of student/teacher relationship.

Ahh. Then don't do it. Someone is going to get hurt; if it's you, that sucks. If it's her, there's a world of suckitude that will drop on your head…

tashaa1992

It sounds like you like her, you obviously enjoy her company too, so why not just go on a date and see how it goes? As alot of people have said, one of you will develop feelings and want more. I've been in this situation and we are no longer friends. My ex also thinks this is a good idea for us, but it's not an idea I would even entertain because still I love him, I don't want to get hurt.