husband put pressure on me

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  • Mac_X
    Mac_X Posts: 110 Member
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    This is honestly the reason I am on MFP. I told my wife, "If you push me, it will eventually, even subconsciously, turn to "nagging" and I will start to resent you for it. I don't want that in our marriage." So I turned to here. My MFP pals push me and cheer me on, and if I get annoyed at one or two of them for pointing out inconsistencies in my behavior it doesnt really effect my relationships AND it helps to have so many sets of eyes on it because I NEED that.

    All my wife has to do is sit there and reap the benefits of having a healthier husband.
  • garyobesedeleted
    garyobesedeleted Posts: 117 Member
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    Why are you on this site? If you need to lose weight, lose weight. If you don't, ignore your husband. But YOU logged on to this website.

    ...says the skinny person
  • chervil6
    chervil6 Posts: 236 Member
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    dont put up with anyone telling you , you have to change , were non of us perfect .... i bet your husband isnt either !!
  • garyobesedeleted
    garyobesedeleted Posts: 117 Member
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    Do Six weeks to OMG
  • chervil6
    chervil6 Posts: 236 Member
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    My husband used to be like that but I told him I could very easily lose 155 pounds over night. That put an end to it. Now we work out together and watch what we eat together and he recognizes how hard it is.



    hahahha well said ......i'll remember that i think :)
  • Bobby__Clerici
    Bobby__Clerici Posts: 741 Member
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    I was 278 pounds at my worse....and my wife simply said she was just no longer attracted to me fat.
    33323822_1748.jpg
    I am thankful that she was honest!
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
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    I have tried everything to get my wife to workout and get in shape. She can barely walk due to bad knees.
    She gets jealous of me after I have dropped 60lbs. But I put in the work.
  • shadowfeet33
    shadowfeet33 Posts: 45 Member
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    I guess I would need more information, if he is truly concerned about your health and well being or just being ugly about it. I know in my experience, any time my goal was anything other than my health and to feel better, I didn't last long.
  • LetsGetFitMama
    LetsGetFitMama Posts: 102
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    I am the partner who is pushing my partner to lose weight. I am on the journey myself and thought it would be great for us to do it together. Now, I will say, my b/f does have health issues, he has been referred to a gastric bypass surgeon due to his size so for me, I feel like me saying "Lets do this together, you need it, I need it!" should be seen as a good thing and not negative. Problem is, I think I am way more motivated than he is. The other difference between himself and I is that he has been overweight most of his life, I have not and I think he somewhat fears how he might look without the weight. I keep asking him if I am bugging him too much cause I don't want to FORCE him but thus far he said what I am doing is fine.
    Communication is key. If you are overweight, and have or have had health issues related to the weight then perhaps he just wants whats best for you and your health. Talk to him about it :-)
  • Lyssa62
    Lyssa62 Posts: 930 Member
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    My husband used to be like that but I told him I could very easily lose 155 pounds over night. That put an end to it. Now we work out together and watch what we eat together and he recognizes how hard it is.

    LMFAO -- I'm glad somebody said it. I was going to ask her how much her husband weighed..cuz that could be lost quickly. :drinker:
  • roadtripper23
    roadtripper23 Posts: 33
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    A year and a half ago my husband asked me to take a look at myself and decide if I was happy with what I saw, I wasn't. At 255 lbs and nearly 52 years old I needed to get a grip. I agree with the others that you have to do it for you, but sometimes it takes someone else to give you a kick in the butt to get you moving in the right direction. Since that time I have lost 60 lbs and am working towards my last 20. I was upset with him at the time, but looking back it was one of the smartest things he ever did and I can now run circles around the guy. Not to mention I get plenty of attention from other men now so if he ever pisses me off enough there are others waiting in the wings.
  • dkp4469
    dkp4469 Posts: 19
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    Its not about your husband, he should like/love you for who you are. If you want the change, and are truly ready to make this lifestyle change , and it is a lifestyle change, this is the only time it will work. Not because of pressure from some one who thinks you should look a certain way or weigh a certain amount. If you are in fact happy with yourself, and your health. i wouldnt worry about what other people think. And I would consider some kind of professional counseling for how to handle this type of thing in your relationship. Good luck:smile:
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    well...you signed up here over one year ago and made one post about a dress....maybe your husband has another side to this story?
  • dkp4469
    dkp4469 Posts: 19
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    Maybe she logged on because of all the pressure she felt from a husband that is putting all this pressure on her and she wanted some feed back from people she thought would be sensitive to her plight, not like you
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    Divorce.
  • speedisoverrated
    speedisoverrated Posts: 38
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    Certainly true that you have to do it for yourself - on the flipside though, I do wonder why people hadn't suggested I lose some weight when I was overweight.

    Works both ways I guess. There are right and wrong ways to do it, essentially he's concerned or he's being unhelpful. Either ignore him, listen to him and lose weight or listen to him and think 'I'll lose it for myself, not because you're badgering me'.

    I sound like Jeremy Kyle. I'm hushing now.
  • Subowski
    Subowski Posts: 71
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    Mokey51, I love the quote in your avatar....really hit a note for me!

    I adore the bones of my husband, even though sometimes he is very unsubtle in his "helpful" comments. We both need to lose a good 30lbs, although we both attempt to do so in different ways, and we don't really do it together. He sometimes puts his foot in it and gets a volley from me when I'm upset, but I know he means well. He's just as fat as I am, which I remind him if he starts givin it the biggun. :)

    Try to see past your initial hurt and try to work out if he is genuinely trying to help, because he loves you and wants you to be fitter, happier and healthier. If he does, he'll withstand some tears and wounded looks from you in order to achieve his goal, which is for YOU to be happy and well. Perhaps he's just not good at expressing himself.

    If he can't or won't reformulate his words to be more acceptable, loving and supportive, and continues to make mean, sarcastic or even spiteful comments, then maybe you need a serious talk.

    But I do agree with what's been said - if YOU are not ready to lose weight and change your habits, it honestly won't work.

    Good luck!
  • glitteredgrave
    glitteredgrave Posts: 194 Member
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    I suppose I'm semi-guilty of this. I am very health conscious and I try to get my husband to eat more veggies, and work out with me. Not because I want him skinny because I don't really care about how he looks. He has diabetes and high blood pressure in his family, and I don't want him to deal with that. We don't have kids yet and when we do, I want him to be able to run around with them. My parents were in their 40's when they had me, so they were too tired to play with me 90 % of the time... I lived a boring life. Lol. I want him to be able to play football with them and swim with them and stuff.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    Maybe she logged on because of all the pressure she felt from a husband that is putting all this pressure on her and she wanted some feed back from people she thought would be sensitive to her plight, not like you

    maybe

    maybe not
  • MBNagel74
    MBNagel74 Posts: 444 Member
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    I agree with so many of the others here... If you aren't doing it for YOU, then why?

    My husband is nothing but supportive. He doesn't push, nag, or make any negative comments. Why? Because he loves me for me. I CHOSE to make this life change... I WANT to be healthy...



    On a side note, my first husband was a complete *kitten* who did push and nag and tell me I wasn't good enough - even after losing 60+ pounds. Guess what? I divorced him and moved on.

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