Soul Mates - Real or Not

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  • MsDover
    MsDover Posts: 395 Member
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    I believe in it. Yes, the notion is cheesy. But if you are fortunate enough to find yours, all of the sudden the concept doesn't seem that foreign

    Took me 57 years to find mine, but find him I did. I can't define what a soul mate is, but when you find yours, you know it. Lots of relationships in my life over the years including 2 husbands before this one. No one came close. I think everyone has someone out there that balances them out perfectly but not everyone is lucky enough to find them. I wasn't even looking.... and there he was.
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
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    Didn't believe in it.. Til I met him.

    Me too!
  • MbiggsHFD319
    MbiggsHFD319 Posts: 427 Member
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    I think it can be real but you might not necessarily be married/living with your soulmate. You thought at one point you found it but later discovered it really wasn't. It doesn't mean you can't be happy if you are not with it.
    I totally agree with this. Sometime what you think is your absolute "+ONE" turns out years later just have been what you needed at that time. Even ater 20+ years of marrige, I don't think I have found my soulmate but he was what I needed at the time and have just stayed because it is safe and comfortable.
  • venturaroo
    venturaroo Posts: 84 Member
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    I want to believe in soul mates but I also want to believe in Santa Claus. Doesn't make it happen. I do think people can be compatible for a long time if they grow with each other and work hard at their relationship.
  • MsDover
    MsDover Posts: 395 Member
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    I also think you can be in love a hundred times... you can be happy with several different people over the course of your life, but that soul mate.... that is a whole different story. It's more than love and can be separate from it. I've been in love a dozen times. When I first met my husband it was not love at first sight, but I recognized something different almost instantly... a different kind of bond and connection that transcended love or attraction. I'd never felt it before and truly doubt that I could ever feel it again. He the love of my life and he most certainly is my soul mate.

    I should add, I truly think someone can be your soul mate without being your lover/spouse. For some people that connection can be with a close friend or family member.
  • mdyorston
    mdyorston Posts: 158
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    I used to believe in it ... and the concept of a Prince Charming ... then I grew up.


    ^^this............I curse Walt Disney for filling my head with such nonsense! lol
  • BreakingUpWith75lbs_Cass
    BreakingUpWith75lbs_Cass Posts: 181
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    I think a relationship only works when both people put in just as much effort as the other simple truth.
  • mdyorston
    mdyorston Posts: 158
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    I also think you can be in love a hundred times... you can be happy with several different people over the course of your life, but that soul mate.... that is a whole different story. It's more than love and can be separate from it. I've been in love a dozen times. When I first met my husband it was not love at first sight, but I recognized something different almost instantly... a different kind of bond and connection that transcended love or attraction. I'd never felt it before and truly doubt that I could ever feel it again. He the love of my life and he most certainly is my soul mate.

    I should add, I truly think someone can be your soul mate without being your lover/spouse. For some people that connection can be with a close friend or family member.

    AGREED
  • fuhrmeister
    fuhrmeister Posts: 1,796 Member
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    I don't believe in one perfect person for everyone out there. But I do believe my husband is my perfect match. We balance each other out. He reminds of how wonderful I am when I forget and I do the same for him,
  • fuhrmeister
    fuhrmeister Posts: 1,796 Member
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    I also think you can be in love a hundred times... you can be happy with several different people over the course of your life, but that soul mate.... that is a whole different story. It's more than love and can be separate from it. I've been in love a dozen times. When I first met my husband it was not love at first sight, but I recognized something different almost instantly... a different kind of bond and connection that transcended love or attraction. I'd never felt it before and truly doubt that I could ever feel it again. He the love of my life and he most certainly is my soul mate.

    I should add, I truly think someone can be your soul mate without being your lover/spouse. For some people that connection can be with a close friend or family member.

    AGREED


    I agree as well!
  • JanaCanada
    JanaCanada Posts: 917 Member
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    In my opinion, “soulmate” is more of a concept...and one not everyone believes in (me, for instance!).

    First of all, let's see how the world's best dictionarians and dictionaries define the word:

    Merriam Webster: 1 : "a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament" 2 : "a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs."

    American Standard Dictionary: "One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity."

    Collins English Dictionary: "A person for whom one has a deep affinity, especially a lover, wife, husband, etc."

    Princeton University: "Someone for whom you have a deep affinity"

    Oxford Pocket Dictionary: "A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner."


    In reading these definitions, two things about "soulmates" as a CONCEPT pop out at me: 1.) compatibility (in temperament, beliefs, and disposition), and 2.) deep love/affection. But look closely: the one thing that does NOT appear in ANY definition is a concept of a soulmate being "the one and only". Thus, we can logically conclude that the definition of "soulmate" could also apply to the relationship between parent and child, close personal friends, siblings, etc.

    As a concept, it would appear that "soulmates" falls within a timeframe: Perhaps your ex WAS your soulmate AT THE TIME of that partnering. However, TODAY - the "here and now" present - you may be remarried and thus, your present spouse is your soulmate. Different times, same concept.

    Another thought: Many people attach some kind of ethereal, religious, or "other world" concept to the word "soulmates", i.e., some kind of Higher Power selected you for your mate and vice versa, and becuase of this, you are destined to be inextricably linked forever and for all eternity.

    OK...let's break this down:

    I think the concept of "soulmates" differs from religion to religion. As a Christian, I DO believe that God has a plan for all our lives, and yes, I believe He DOES select our lifemates based on what He thinks is in our best interest AT THE TIME, and...based on our oh-so-human choice. I believe all marriages are ordained by God, but not all marriages are made in Heaven. Thus, yesterday's "soulmate" CAN become today's ex-spouse! Inextricably linked forever and for all eternity? I think....not. The Bible itself is VERY clear about how God feels about widows/widowers remarrying (He's OK with it! ) In fact, we get a glimpse of this in the wedding vows when we hear a couple utter, "...’til DEATH do us part"...meaning that God thinks of death as a complete separation of soulmates, thus freeing the surviving spouse to find ANOTHER soulmate for the remainder of his or her earthly days.

    In conclusion, I believe the word "soulmate" as it is bantered about today is NOT how the concept was originally meant to be defined and designed. In the aforementioned definitions, there is too much "wiggle room" inasmuch as the word is defined as a noun and not as a concept. As well, the definitions seem to apply prima facie (or "as is") to many other kinds of couples other than that of husband and wife.

    If I were a dictionarian, my definition of :"souylmate" as it is applied to marriage would read something like this:

    "Soulmate: A concept in which a partner in couple's earthly life is compatible with the other partner and with whom each shares a deep affinity until such time as the couple is separated by death; after which the surviving partner is free to connect with a new partner until separation by death; thus, perpetuating the concept throughout one's earthly lifetime."

    In Judith Sills' book A Fine Romance, she talks about the relationship traps and circle of blame that people can get caught up in what she calls "The Right Person Theory." This totally underscores what I have said about the misleading folklore that there is only one soul mate. Judith says that "Mr./Ms. Right is a myth of our culture and contrary to popular belief, romance can develop with a lot more “someones” than we allow ourselves to believe. Love is not an event – it’s a creation. Love isn't something we find – it’s something we develop." Judith Sill's bottom line is: "There is no one right person - only our ability to give and receive love."

    I understand society's desire to romanticize a word that just doesn't track, neither logically nor intellectually, but I smile when I think of my husband being someone I believe God handpicked just for me.
  • ryall70
    ryall70 Posts: 519 Member
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    Well if that is true... if soul mates exist, then I am hooched... mine is probably somewhere in the jungles of Africa!

    I've certainly found out who is NOT my soul mate too...

    Now someone I could hang out with for a couple of decades... yeah I've found a few candidates... but none have accepted the position yet! ;)

    ^^THIS!!!
  • 00sarah
    00sarah Posts: 621 Member
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    I'm very cynical.... And I *do believe that, mathematically speaking, even if you're extremely picky, there are at least 3.2 million people in the world you can be very happy and compatible with.

    However, I wouldn't trade my soul mate for anything.
  • ArianaLuvsMe101
    ArianaLuvsMe101 Posts: 138
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    Soul Mate...??
  • WrenStory
    WrenStory Posts: 103
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    u live, then u die.....

    Agreed.
    all sharing does is give someone a chance to own & depress u

    Disagreed.

    Soul - what exactly is this?

    And no... I do not believe in a "soul mate" but I do believe in varying levels of compatibility among people.
  • zenzoes
    zenzoes Posts: 187
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    Believe!
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
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    The short answer is no - TIMING and PLACE can be favorable or cruel.


    To that point, someone can certainly develop into a soul mate.

    Love is not a fleeting emotion - it is really about actions and wanting what is best for the other person.

    So many people tell someone that they love them yet have little evidence to substantiate the claim.
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
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    I don't believe in the "one true soul mate" thing. I believe there are many people out there who you could be happy with for the rest of your life.
    I love my boyfriend, I've been with him for two and a half years. But if I hadn't met him, I'm sure I could still find someone else who I'd be happy with.
  • Queen_JessieA
    Queen_JessieA Posts: 1,059 Member
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    I dunno about soul mates...but my husband of 14 years is my best friend. I met him at 16, married him at 18 and we get along so well even now. We have arguments, of course, but nothing hard...and divorce isn't an option. It is to death do us part. We are inseperable.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,735 Member
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    Imo, the concept is ridiculous that there is one perfect person for u...or I'm just a negative bleep.

    What r your opinions?

    in a world of 6+ billion people, it's fairly pessimistic to assume that there is only 1 soul mate for you on the whole planet. if that were the case, the odds of anyone ever meeting, much less dating and falling in love, with their soul mate would be astronomically small.

    however, on the odd chance that this theory is correct, i have insider information that tells me that Stephanie Seymour is my soul mate.

    Stephanie, if you're reading this, call me. ok? :flowerforyou:

    Hi, my real name is Stephanie Seymour. :wink:

    in that case... how YOU doin'?

    :wink:

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