My Husband called me a fat @zz yesterday
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I added you to my friend
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First off, you go girl for snagging a younger man. That has to say something about your right there.
Unfortunately he's not Mr. Perfect. When things that hurtful are said they are going to take time to work themselves out. Make sure you voice how hurt you are so he knows exactly what's going on. Use this as your motivation to better yourself. For you AND for your relationship, but YOU come first. I can't agree with fasting, because it kills your metabolism and I typically end up eating MORE the day or two after. But going on a cleans of sorts, with lots of fruits, veggies, and water will do wonders for your body.I shouldn't be airing my dirty laundry out for everyone to see however I am so hurt by this I don’t know how to handle it all. We got into an argument and it escalated fast where he told me to "waddle your fat @zz in the bedroom" and "You're so fat how can you see your feet?" and a few other hurtful things.:brokenheart: (I have gained 40lbs since him and I met.) I know he said this out of anger and we all say things that hurt, (I'm no saint) but it has completely changed me over night.
I haven't eaten anything in over 24 hours but it's okay because I have decided to fast and detox my body. :drinker: Anyone experience this with positive results?
Anyhow, my self-esteem is completely out the window, I don't want him to see me naked or even touch me anymore. I have always been a strong woman, but I am 36 and he is only 28 so he can get any young girl he wants so this also puts more pressure on me. I don't want to bash my husband, I just want some encouraging advice. I feel horrible!:sad:
Thank you guys for listening.0 -
He called you fat?
Call him single.0 -
I am cleansing/detoxing today is my first day. You will lose a pound of fat a day with the Master Cleanse. It has never failed me and if you get on Youtube you will see countless testimonials and support/advice. You can read the book free online. If you want the link, email me. I can do this with you and support you if you wish. I am an experienced cleanser.
Seriously? Do you have a Medical Degree from Google University or what? that is such utter tripe...you do not lose a pound of fat...sheez. how gullable.
Hahahhahahaha, brilliant!0 -
you are probably not going to like my reply, I was married 25 yrs so kinda think I know what I am talking about.
people let names hurt but really, is he telling you something you dont already know? Is it really a big deal?
you are in mfp for a reason, so dont act offended or shocked when someone who loves you says you are fat.'
They are simply pointing out the obvious to you incase you didnt see it and want you to change before you suffer long term health damage and self esteme issues from being overweight.
Most of us are here because we are overweight trying to lose, not all of us.
Now, could your hubby have said something a little more tender sugar coating it, sure
but in my experience men speak from the heart before thinking of how its gonna sound and
do not generally tend to offend us, they are trying to motivate us, maybe even through making us pissed off.
It usually backfires on them because we do get upset and then internalize and become self destructive instead of
the reaction they desired which was to set us up on the right track and get us going.
They are just more straight foward and blunt about things.
Take this moment to change, dont get all bent over it.
Its a moment that wont matter in the scheme of your entire life in the long term but your weight will matter.
Its not that big of a deal, really.
If you cant cope with that, maybe your both better off not being married cus trust me there are alot worse things
to be called then a fat *kitten* by your spouse and give it time you will both get to those pet names too!
It happens, one day he will call you the B word, you will call him a P, and then you will wanna divorce.
Cus omg thats so unacceptable, is it? when you live with someone with the goal being for life,
you are bound to get hurt feelings and get on eachothers nerves,
but over all its how you solve these problems together and rebound from them
more aware and stronger as a couple because of it. If you cant handle that you should prolly divorce sooner than later.
He isnt being abusive, he is just being the guy you married.
You are fat, he called you out on it, frustrated at perhaps you werent doing anything
to help yourself and he might have a point, cus instead of discussing this with him and taking a proactive approach to fixing
your body or confronting him on this issue, you are here in mfp venting which is perfectly okay too, we all need a place to vent
but if you came here instead of him first, you guys have bigger issues than him just calling you a name. toughen up and get busy!in the time it took to post you could of burned 100 calories taking a walk to decompress!
I did my workout before logging into mfp today, lets go girl , get serious and if the issues with hubby dont resolve you will be fit and fab and move on. Take control of your life do not let it control you!
You can do it!0 -
All I can do is wish you luck because I have an idea of where you are emotionally and you have to make the best decision for you and for your girls because they see you hurt. You deserve to be treated with respect. Good luck and be strong.0
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you are probably not going to like my reply, I was married 25 yrs so kinda think I know what I am talking about.
people let names hurt but really, is he telling you something you dont already know? Is it really a big deal?
you are in mfp for a reason, so dont act offended or shocked when someone who loves you says you are fat.'
They are simply pointing out the obvious to you incase you didnt see it and want you to change before you suffer long term health damage and self esteme issues from being overweight.
Most of us are here because we are overweight trying to lose, not all of us.
Now, could your hubby have said something a little more tender sugar coating it, sure
but in my experience men speak from the heart before thinking of how its gonna sound and
do not generally tend to offend us, they are trying to motivate us, maybe even through making us pissed off.
It usually backfires on them because we do get upset and then internalize and become self destructive instead of
the reaction they desired which was to set us up on the right track and get us going.
They are just more straight foward and blunt about things.
Take this moment to change, dont get all bent over it.
Its a moment that wont matter in the scheme of your entire life in the long term but your weight will matter.
Its not that big of a deal, really.
If you cant cope with that, maybe your both better off not being married cus trust me there are alot worse things
to be called then a fat *kitten* by your spouse and give it time you will both get to those pet names too!
It happens, one day he will call you the B word, you will call him a P, and then you will wanna divorce.
Cus omg thats so unacceptable, is it? when you live with someone with the goal being for life,
you are bound to get hurt feelings and get on eachothers nerves,
but over all its how you solve these problems together and rebound from them
more aware and stronger as a couple because of it. If you cant handle that you should prolly divorce sooner than later.
He isnt being abusive, he is just being the guy you married.
You are fat, he called you out on it, frustrated at perhaps you werent doing anything
to help yourself and he might have a point, cus instead of discussing this with him and taking a proactive approach to fixing
your body or confronting him on this issue, you are here in mfp venting which is perfectly okay too, we all need a place to vent
but if you came here instead of him first, you guys have bigger issues than him just calling you a name. toughen up and get busy!in the time it took to post you could of burned 100 calories taking a walk to decompress!
I did my workout before logging into mfp today, lets go girl , get serious and if the issues with hubby dont resolve you will be fit and fab and move on. Take control of your life do not let it control you!
You can do it!
I have to disagree here(married 30+ years here). He aaid what he did to wound her. There lies rhe issue, not whether she is indeed indeed fat. Calling someone names in anger is not constructive. It is childish and hateful.0 -
I am seriously going to have to take a couple hours and read through some of these, I never expected this much attention but in a way I feel guilty, "poor me syndrome" in a way I feel good "I DO have support".
I have gotten 30 messages and over 45 friend requests. I just want to say thanks.
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you are probably not going to like my reply, I was married 25 yrs so kinda think I know what I am talking about.
people let names hurt but really, is he telling you something you dont already know? Is it really a big deal?
you are in mfp for a reason, so dont act offended or shocked when someone who loves you says you are fat.'
They are simply pointing out the obvious to you incase you didnt see it and want you to change before you suffer long term health damage and self esteme issues from being overweight.
Most of us are here because we are overweight trying to lose, not all of us.
Now, could your hubby have said something a little more tender sugar coating it, sure
but in my experience men speak from the heart before thinking of how its gonna sound and
do not generally tend to offend us, they are trying to motivate us, maybe even through making us pissed off.
It usually backfires on them because we do get upset and then internalize and become self destructive instead of
the reaction they desired which was to set us up on the right track and get us going.
They are just more straight foward and blunt about things.
Take this moment to change, dont get all bent over it.
Its a moment that wont matter in the scheme of your entire life in the long term but your weight will matter.
Its not that big of a deal, really.
If you cant cope with that, maybe your both better off not being married cus trust me there are alot worse things
to be called then a fat *kitten* by your spouse and give it time you will both get to those pet names too!
It happens, one day he will call you the B word, you will call him a P, and then you will wanna divorce.
Cus omg thats so unacceptable, is it? when you live with someone with the goal being for life,
you are bound to get hurt feelings and get on eachothers nerves,
but over all its how you solve these problems together and rebound from them
more aware and stronger as a couple because of it. If you cant handle that you should prolly divorce sooner than later.
He isnt being abusive, he is just being the guy you married.
You are fat, he called you out on it, frustrated at perhaps you werent doing anything
to help yourself and he might have a point, cus instead of discussing this with him and taking a proactive approach to fixing
your body or confronting him on this issue, you are here in mfp venting which is perfectly okay too, we all need a place to vent
but if you came here instead of him first, you guys have bigger issues than him just calling you a name. toughen up and get busy!in the time it took to post you could of burned 100 calories taking a walk to decompress!
I did my workout before logging into mfp today, lets go girl , get serious and if the issues with hubby dont resolve you will be fit and fab and move on. Take control of your life do not let it control you!
You can do it!
Seriously??
WHy stick up for him? What he did was wrong. It was hurtful. THere is no excuse for a husband to speak to his wife like that. I have no idea what kind of marriage you had but I would never let my husband say anything like that to me and I wouldn't say anything like that to him.0 -
you are probably not going to like my reply, I was married 25 yrs so kinda think I know what I am talking about.
people let names hurt but really, is he telling you something you dont already know? Is it really a big deal?
you are in mfp for a reason, so dont act offended or shocked when someone who loves you says you are fat.'
They are simply pointing out the obvious to you incase you didnt see it and want you to change before you suffer long term health damage and self esteme issues from being overweight.
Most of us are here because we are overweight trying to lose, not all of us.
Now, could your hubby have said something a little more tender sugar coating it, sure
but in my experience men speak from the heart before thinking of how its gonna sound and
do not generally tend to offend us, they are trying to motivate us, maybe even through making us pissed off.
It usually backfires on them because we do get upset and then internalize and become self destructive instead of
the reaction they desired which was to set us up on the right track and get us going.
They are just more straight foward and blunt about things.
Take this moment to change, dont get all bent over it.
Its a moment that wont matter in the scheme of your entire life in the long term but your weight will matter.
Its not that big of a deal, really.
If you cant cope with that, maybe your both better off not being married cus trust me there are alot worse things
to be called then a fat *kitten* by your spouse and give it time you will both get to those pet names too!
It happens, one day he will call you the B word, you will call him a P, and then you will wanna divorce.
Cus omg thats so unacceptable, is it? when you live with someone with the goal being for life,
you are bound to get hurt feelings and get on eachothers nerves,
but over all its how you solve these problems together and rebound from them
more aware and stronger as a couple because of it. If you cant handle that you should prolly divorce sooner than later.
He isnt being abusive, he is just being the guy you married.
You are fat, he called you out on it, frustrated at perhaps you werent doing anything
to help yourself and he might have a point, cus instead of discussing this with him and taking a proactive approach to fixing
your body or confronting him on this issue, you are here in mfp venting which is perfectly okay too, we all need a place to vent
but if you came here instead of him first, you guys have bigger issues than him just calling you a name. toughen up and get busy!in the time it took to post you could of burned 100 calories taking a walk to decompress!
I did my workout before logging into mfp today, lets go girl , get serious and if the issues with hubby dont resolve you will be fit and fab and move on. Take control of your life do not let it control you!
You can do it!
Sorry, but what utter tosh.
There is a world of difference between tough love and name calling. Tough love doesn't mean sugar coating it, but it doesn't mean name calling either. Tough love would be "You are carrying more weight than is healthy, you need to address that." I know, I've said it to my spouse, and I expect her to say the same to me if I fall back off the wagon in future. If someone calls you a name, they are angry and looking to hurt you. Any crap about not being able to properly express themselves is just after the fact rationalization and trying to squirm out of trouble.0 -
Let me get my popcorn...you are probably not going to like my reply, I was married 25 yrs so kinda think I know what I am talking about.
people let names hurt but really, is he telling you something you dont already know? Is it really a big deal?
you are in mfp for a reason, so dont act offended or shocked when someone who loves you says you are fat.'
They are simply pointing out the obvious to you incase you didnt see it and want you to change before you suffer long term health damage and self esteme issues from being overweight.
Most of us are here because we are overweight trying to lose, not all of us.
Now, could your hubby have said something a little more tender sugar coating it, sure
but in my experience men speak from the heart before thinking of how its gonna sound and
do not generally tend to offend us, they are trying to motivate us, maybe even through making us pissed off.
It usually backfires on them because we do get upset and then internalize and become self destructive instead of
the reaction they desired which was to set us up on the right track and get us going.
They are just more straight foward and blunt about things.
Take this moment to change, dont get all bent over it.
Its a moment that wont matter in the scheme of your entire life in the long term but your weight will matter.
Its not that big of a deal, really.
If you cant cope with that, maybe your both better off not being married cus trust me there are alot worse things
to be called then a fat *kitten* by your spouse and give it time you will both get to those pet names too!
It happens, one day he will call you the B word, you will call him a P, and then you will wanna divorce.
Cus omg thats so unacceptable, is it? when you live with someone with the goal being for life,
you are bound to get hurt feelings and get on eachothers nerves,
but over all its how you solve these problems together and rebound from them
more aware and stronger as a couple because of it. If you cant handle that you should prolly divorce sooner than later.
He isnt being abusive, he is just being the guy you married.
You are fat, he called you out on it, frustrated at perhaps you werent doing anything
to help yourself and he might have a point, cus instead of discussing this with him and taking a proactive approach to fixing
your body or confronting him on this issue, you are here in mfp venting which is perfectly okay too, we all need a place to vent
but if you came here instead of him first, you guys have bigger issues than him just calling you a name. toughen up and get busy!in the time it took to post you could of burned 100 calories taking a walk to decompress!
I did my workout before logging into mfp today, lets go girl , get serious and if the issues with hubby dont resolve you will be fit and fab and move on. Take control of your life do not let it control you!
You can do it!0 -
You need to tell him that his behavior "saying ugly things" is not something you are going to accept. Tell him that you love him but there are certain things that you will not tolerate. Stop it now before things get worse and he thinks that his behavior is "no big deal". See if you can workout together....find a positive out of this ....maybe he will workout with you.0
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My suggestion is to take this as an opportunity to stick up for yourself. reinforce your boundaries and tell him calling names is not acceptible. You are in your process to lose weight , or not and if he doesnt like it, or hates himself enough to verbally abuse other people, then there is the door.0
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you are probably not going to like my reply, I was married 25 yrs so kinda think I know what I am talking about.
people let names hurt but really, is he telling you something you dont already know? Is it really a big deal?
you are in mfp for a reason, so dont act offended or shocked when someone who loves you says you are fat.'
They are simply pointing out the obvious to you incase you didnt see it and want you to change before you suffer long term health damage and self esteme issues from being overweight.
Most of us are here because we are overweight trying to lose, not all of us.
Now, could your hubby have said something a little more tender sugar coating it, sure
but in my experience men speak from the heart before thinking of how its gonna sound and
do not generally tend to offend us, they are trying to motivate us, maybe even through making us pissed off.
It usually backfires on them because we do get upset and then internalize and become self destructive instead of
the reaction they desired which was to set us up on the right track and get us going.
They are just more straight foward and blunt about things.
Take this moment to change, dont get all bent over it.
Its a moment that wont matter in the scheme of your entire life in the long term but your weight will matter.
Its not that big of a deal, really.
If you cant cope with that, maybe your both better off not being married cus trust me there are alot worse things
to be called then a fat *kitten* by your spouse and give it time you will both get to those pet names too!
It happens, one day he will call you the B word, you will call him a P, and then you will wanna divorce.
Cus omg thats so unacceptable, is it? when you live with someone with the goal being for life,
you are bound to get hurt feelings and get on eachothers nerves,
but over all its how you solve these problems together and rebound from them
more aware and stronger as a couple because of it. If you cant handle that you should prolly divorce sooner than later.
He isnt being abusive, he is just being the guy you married.
You are fat, he called you out on it, frustrated at perhaps you werent doing anything
to help yourself and he might have a point, cus instead of discussing this with him and taking a proactive approach to fixing
your body or confronting him on this issue, you are here in mfp venting which is perfectly okay too, we all need a place to vent
but if you came here instead of him first, you guys have bigger issues than him just calling you a name. toughen up and get busy!in the time it took to post you could of burned 100 calories taking a walk to decompress!
I did my workout before logging into mfp today, lets go girl , get serious and if the issues with hubby dont resolve you will be fit and fab and move on. Take control of your life do not let it control you!
You can do it!
LOL- this can not be a serious post. He is being abusive ! She does not need to toughen up he needs to stop being an @$$hole0 -
Wait until you can talk calmly to him and you are alone (no kids around). Tell him that what he said to you was very hurtful. That you are aware that you have gained some weight and you are working on this.
Tell him that you are not going to tolerate him calling you names, and you are going to hold yourself to the same standard and refrain from calling him names. (you both need to fight fair)
That what you need is his support and unconditional love.
I have been married 20 years. It is not always easy, but you have to have respect.0 -
I think you would want to be in an honest relationship. though he expressed it in anger, he is clearly telling you that he does not like the fact that you have let yourself go. Try to understand that to him, he may feel that you do not value him or you take him for granted because you keep gaining weight and don't care if you look desirable to him. I would tell him that the things he said hurt you but would ask him to be honest up front in the future. I think you need to consider his feelings0
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4 months into marriage and he's calling you names? WTF?
I'd suggest marriage counseling. And he needs to be informed that he is NEVER allowed to name call again. And neither are you, by the way.
And maybe some personal counseling for you to help your sense of self-worth. My first response would not be to starve myself for 24 hours or worry about the young girls he could get.0 -
I shouldn't be airing my dirty laundry out for everyone to see however I am so hurt by this I don’t know how to handle it all. We got into an argument and it escalated fast where he told me to "waddle your fat @zz in the bedroom" and "You're so fat how can you see your feet?" and a few other hurtful things.:brokenheart: (I have gained 40lbs since him and I met.) I know he said this out of anger and we all say things that hurt, (I'm no saint) but it has completely changed me over night."
THIS PROBLEM IS NOT ABOUT YOU. YOU CANNOT FIX THIS PROBLEM BY LOSING WEIGHT.
This problem is about your husband, who feels like he doesn't have to show you love or respect. This problem is about your husband who verbally attacks you and says things in the most hurtful manner, and acts as if he has the right to do so because your appearance has changed.
You deserve respect (at any size). You deserve to be treated with love (even if you've changed your appearance). You deserve to have your partner argue in a manner that is fair (not ambushing the arugment with hurtful personal comments).
The problem isn't what do you eat or how to do you lose weight to prove him wrong-- he was wrong to begin with. The problem is -- if you speak to him about how unfair his comments were , how hurtful they were, and how belittling they were -- will he see that, will he realize that? Disagreements happen -- and tempers flare, however, if he can't argue his position without attacking you, if he can't disagree without belittling you and trying to destroy your self-confidence and make you feel like you are less, well that is a problem that has nothing to do with what you weigh, or what you look like or how much you exercise.
Ask yourself -- "At what weight do I earn the right to receive respect?"0 -
Making someone feel inferior is never acceptable. My advice is to show him just how strong a person you are. We believe in you!!!0
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28 or 8?
Calling someone names isn't acceptable, ever. Even in anger.
Your husband sounds like he has some issues of his own. What he is doing is abusive & manipulative-and its working.
The only advice I can suggest is to see a counselor/therapist-even if its on your own. You do not deserve that treatment.
And if you'll notice, I haven't mentioned anything about weightloss. There's a reason for that. His comments have NOTHING to do with your weight, and everything to do with controlling you.
I concur. Proving to him that you lose the weight or whatever has nothing to do with it. Fat or thin, he should be your biggest supporter and uplifter, not the opposite.
This^^^0
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