I'm tired of unhealthy people making excuses

serapi

Why worry about other people ? I cannot understand this , they have their life and you have yours~~ they want to be like that , and a healthy weight i agree is very good , but there are also so many underweight young people , because this is how they think they should look they are bombarded with pics of celebs and models looking stick thin all the time , now ~~ i think that is wrong big time
We are all different , i want to lose weight , a stone in fact i know i am overweight , but as i said before until a person wants to do it they will not succeed, you cannot in any stretch of the imagination go out and see perfect weight people all the time , that is not the real world i am sorry xx

I don't want to hear their complaining or their excuses though.

mollybendium

doh

lfergurson1

Stating the obvious makes no sense most circus monkeys get it! If it were that easy everyone would be successful at it. People should keep the focus on themselves and their own shortcomings and be encouraging and empowering.

cloakers

Serapi a lot of them are happy they don't complain , i am over weight i am happy i don't complain~~you can always politely point out you would prefer not to hear their point of view because you have totally different ideas, i think people should be upfront with others, then they know where they stand and you do not have to be rude just tactful
Iferguson i agree with you

MyM0wM0w

I don't want to hear their complaining or their excuses though.

I'm very sorry for the people in your life that need help. Instead of an understanding open heart they get judgement and waves of annoyance. Despite how often you think you bite your tongue the irritation can be sensed by others. Instead of feeling like they have someone who cares and wants to help them they have someone who is judgmental and angry with them for something they need help with.

I know how it felt to feel isolated, frustrated, and not sure how to proceed when you are obese and have health issues. To be SCARED to proceed because you were sure of failure....AGAIN. I can tell you that judgement and irritation were NOT what helped me see how to move forward but positive reinforcement when I moved in the right direction. A kind word when they need it most will do infinitely more than sighs, eye rolls, and snide comments each time they pick up a cookie.

They have to be ready and receptive, but that will never come with this type of attitude blocking them constantly. I look at it from a different angle and say that you are partly (yes, they carry the lion's share of the responsibility to help themselves) to blame for their continued failure by making them feel worse about themselves.

That said, if you were honest and a decent person you would just tell them up front that you don't want to hear about their complaints regarding it instead of talking about loved ones behind their back.

serapi

I don't want to hear their complaining or their excuses though.

I'm very sorry for the people in your life that need help. Instead of an understanding open heart they get judgement and waves of annoyance. Despite how often you think you bite your tongue the irritation can be sensed by others. Instead of feeling like they have someone who cares and wants to help them they have someone who is judgmental and angry with them for something they need help with.

I know how it felt to feel isolated, frustrated, and not sure how to proceed when you are obese and have health issues. To be SCARED to proceed because you were sure of failure....AGAIN. I can tell you that judgement and irritation were NOT what helped me see how to move forward but positive reinforcement when I moved in the right direction. A kind word when they need it most will do infinitely more than sighs, eye rolls, and snide comments each time they pick up a cookie.

They have to be ready and receptive, but that will never come with this type of attitude blocking them constantly. I look at it from a different angle and say that you are partly (yes, they carry the lion's share of the responsibility to help themselves) to blame for their continued failure by making them feel worse about themselves.

That said, if you were honest and a decent person you would just tell them up front that you don't want to hear about their complaints regarding it instead of talking about loved ones behind their back.

actually no. my mom the last 2 years has been telling me how much she appreciates my patience and kindness towards her. she says that I accept her for who she is now and she feels safe around me.

thinking something and acting on it are two different things.

venting on an anonymous forum is different than saying it to a friend, etc.

weird_me2

If you are unhealthy due to poor eating habits and lifestyle, then admit it to yourself and get on with it! Stop blaming everything under the sun!

Eat less, eat better, get active!

First off, not everyone cares if they are unhealthy. They accept themselves for what they are and it's not our place to preach to them to change. Even if they don't accept themselves as they are, if they don't care enough to change, then that's their issue. If you don't want to hear their excuses then tell them. Don't sit back and secretly judge everyone to make yourself feel better.

Second, until you've been in their shoes, you have no reality from which to judge them. Deciding to lose 3 vanity pounds when you've never had a weight issue and are at a healthy weight and body fat % is nowhere near the undertaking of trying to lose and maintain a loss of even 10% of your body weight, let alone 30-40-50%. When you have lived most of your life a certain way, change doesn't happen overnight. Most people slip and fail along the way and have a hard time even getting started because it's hard to think about losing something that's been a part of you for a long time and it's hard to change ingrained habits. It's even harder when the people around you think you're a loser (and I'm sure that the "unhealthy" people around you probably pick up on your judgmental vibes).


How long do you think it would take you to learn how to stop judging people so harshly when you have no clue about their reality? How long would it take you to learn to just accept the people you love and stop thinking horribly about them behind their backs while smiling to their faces? I'm pretty sure it wouldn't happen overnight since it's probably an ingrained habit. Why don't you work on that and let everyone else worry about their own lives? I'm assuming you know that it's wrong, that whole judge not lest ye be judged thing God talks about. It offends people the way fat unhealthy people apparently offend you. How about you work on that and come back to us in a year so we can see how that's progressing?

mish3131

If you are unhealthy due to poor eating habits and lifestyle, then admit it to yourself and get on with it! Stop blaming everything under the sun!

Eat less, eat better, get active!

serapi, have you ever been extremely over weight/obese? From your post it makes me feel as though you have never been. I will admit I have made excuses, but in the end it is my problem. It takes a lot more then "Eat less, eat better, get active!". Some people don't have a lot of time in their lives outside of work, health issues, kids.

Some days I work almost 16 hours between drive time and work I take home from work. My husband works separate hours from me to make it work money wise so I need to be home with the kids. I can't not do the work I bring home since we need it to get by. I go to bed at 1 am and get up between 5-6am to just drive an hour to work, work 9 hours, then drive my hour home to immediately pick the kids up and get dinner on the table. Then homework and bed for them. Then I need to clean the kitchen and go do my work I bring home. Then it starts all over again.

Over eating or eating for pleasure/stress, well it is an addiction. You go through with drawl just like with cigarettes and such. I met someone who addicted to drugs at one point and now had an eating issues. They said the with drawl was the exact same as when he was getting off drugs. It is not as easy as "Eat less, eat better, get active!".

Not to mention eating healthy food is not cheap by any means.

Rho_Ro

It's just like the adage about the hound dog that howls because he's laying on a nail....someone asks the old man why the dog doesn't move - he responds "Because it doesn't hurt him enough."

E-X-A-C-T-L-Y

High blood pressure, lower back pain, arthritis (R) knee, poor family history - mother died aged 47 coronary occlusion, father died aged 51 of cancer of the large bowel.

When did I embark on my current (and last) weight loss mission: about 28 years after Mum died; about 32 years after Dad died; about 10 years or more after the beginning of high blood pressure readings; 22 years after lower back problems and about 3 years after the beginning of my knee problems.

Which one of the above is the reason for my current weight loss mission - NONE. I'm doing this for ME, because I want it, and as I get smaller I want it more and more.

Stop judging people. Health and weight loss are two different things which u will see in my previous comment. What I would suggest is that you keep your eyes and ears open and if you think someone is hinting for help then carefully enquire - you don't want them to start backing off. It is sooooo hard to admit where you are and where you want to be. Even now with all the wonderful comments and total surprise on everyone's face, sometimes I would far rather they just treat me as me and get on with it.

AND ONCE AGAIN I wish you all well in your endeavours. Treat yourselves and others with tender hands and soft words.

stepherzzzzz

If you are *****y due to PMS, constipation, etc. then admit it to yourself and get on with it! Stop blaming Stand By Your Van!

Calm down! Eat some prunes! Back off!