Do you view someone's success differently if......
Replies
-
I swore for years that I'd NEVER have WLS. Now I find myself awaiting Vertical Sleeve surgery in two months. I finally decided that I don't give a fat rat's *kitten* what other people think. You want to think I cheated? Fine. You want to think I took the easy way out? fine. You want to think I'm lazy? Fine, I really don't care. I've lost hundreds of pounds in my life time I did it "on my own".. heck right now I'm down 53 pounds from my highest weight. I've worked hard for those pounds. I'll continue to work hard for the pounds after my surgery.... but I'm going to do it with an appetite that for the first time in my life actually matches my hypothyroid metabolism.0
-
I cannot judge either way because each person's motivation to lose weight is unique. Some years ago I did Weight Watchers and diligently counted my points and put in some walking for most days of the week. While I did lose over 60lbs I did not change my lifestyle, I merely ate the number of calories in a day that guaranteed weight loss.
I have lost over 90lbs(through healthy eating and a lot of time at the gym) currently and the difference now is that I have completely over hauled my life to revolve around being healthy and that is my top priority and I am working to overcome the emotional reasons that got me heavy in the first place. There have been a couple of people in my friends and family that have had the bypass surgery and refuse to put in the effort to find out why they gained in the first place. Then they constantly pick at small unhealthy food all day long and have gained back a significant amount of the weight they lost so I think that what it comes down to is if you are not in the frame of mind to change your whole life style then it is easy to fall back to old habits. I had to change my habits day by day and I never thought I would like to workout, but I choose to get up each day and to see the changes in myself and note how much better I feel and then I know that it is all worth it. Good luck to everyone losing weight no matter which method you choose!0 -
I guess I feel a little differently. To be honest, I would be sympathetic that they had to do that. Stomach surgery, of any kind, is no joke. It seems like the op is implying that surgery is the easy way out. I disagree. I think it's easier to lose weight sensibly through diet and exercise. At least what I am doing is pretty easy.0
-
WLS is not for me. I couldn't do it. But I think people who have had surgery have it TOUGHER, in my opinion. They have more dietary restrictions than I ever did. Losing weight for me was difficult enough for me without a severely restricted diet. Wouldn't have worked for me, so more power to those it has helped.0
-
I love all of these people saying, "We have to work just as hard! We have to eat right! We exercise! You have no idea how hard this is!"
So then why have the surgery? Why not just eat right and exercise and NOT go through the surgery? If you can watch your portions and exercise "just like everyone else", then why have your stomach altered?
Oh? Because it's hard to do all of that?
BINGO. That's the POINT of why you get judged. That's why I have zero respect for anyone who cheats and has surgery or takes phentermine.
I get so angry when people who've had surgery give advice to "JUST EAT LESS". Your stomach is the size of a nickel. Don't tell me what to do to fill my normal-size stomach. That's like taking financial advice from a rich kid who starts out with Daddy's money and tells me to "just stop spending as much".
You cheated. Just own it. And if you could have done it yourself, you would have. My favorites are the ones who have to lose 40 pounds first. If you could lose 40 pounds the regular way, why have the surgery at all?
Oh, that's right, because it's EASIER AND FASTER to have surgery.
So don't sit there and tell me our struggle is exactly the same. Don't even try.
Wow. You seem hangry.0 -
I know people who have had surgery, and after seeing the "side effects" they've had, I sometimes think they've had it worse than I am ... one of the guys at work had to do it for health reasons, and he has the worst time with digestion, particularly any sort of meat. Almost everyone I know who's had it done (you'd be surprised how many do it), has some sort of issue with food that they can't eat or digest or ... whatever. And there IS a risk of death ... there was a woman in the news not THAT long ago who died as a result of an infection from her gastric bypass surgery.
It makes me think that surgery, lap band, etc., isn't the easy way out ... it's the scary way out. I'll just count calories, thanks.
^^^ THIS!! EXACTLY!!!!
I have had several aunts, cousins, friends, etc. that have done this. This post totally makes my point.0 -
I love all of these people saying, "We have to work just as hard! We have to eat right! We exercise! You have no idea how hard this is!"
So then why have the surgery? Why not just eat right and exercise and NOT go through the surgery? If you can watch your portions and exercise "just like everyone else", then why have your stomach altered?
Oh? Because it's hard to do all of that?
BINGO. That's the POINT of why you get judged. That's why I have zero respect for anyone who cheats and has surgery or takes phentermine.
I get so angry when people who've had surgery give advice to "JUST EAT LESS". Your stomach is the size of a nickel. Don't tell me what to do to fill my normal-size stomach. That's like taking financial advice from a rich kid who starts out with Daddy's money and tells me to "just stop spending as much".
You cheated. Just own it. And if you could have done it yourself, you would have. My favorites are the ones who have to lose 40 pounds first. If you could lose 40 pounds the regular way, why have the surgery at all?
Oh, that's right, because it's EASIER AND FASTER to have surgery.
So don't sit there and tell me our struggle is exactly the same. Don't even try.
Yup yup yup.. This is the kind of stuff I USED to concern myself with.. That's why it took me so long to decide to have the surgery.0 -
Not really. I wonder what it was that made them go that route, but everybody's journey is different and each path has its struggles.0
-
All those surgeries do is limit the amount of food they can eat comfortably.
^ is an alteration.
Is having something done to you to limit the amount of food you can eat comfortably - being in a different situation than being someone who has to limit their food intake mentally?
if you respond, I wont speak to you, i know you are trying to pull me into a debate despite an arm long list of emails where I am begging you tearfully to please not. I know you think its fun, but i dont and i cant and ive told you that.
im allowed to feel worried that they may not get as much out of it.
if i said they cheated, or if i said that they had it easier, then you could whatever at me, but i didnt. i said im worried they might miss out.
which of course makes me evil.0 -
I definitely view it differently. I feel like if I can put in the work and do it without that aid (and really I mean why go put your body through that when it can be done without it) then anyone can. period. I feel like they cheated and tried to take the easy way out - and probably didn't full realize that they had to completely make a mental change and that's why so many that get that surgery aren't successful, but the change you have to make to be successful with weight loss surgery is the same you have to make to do it on your own without surgery so why not just do it on your own.0
-
No, it doesn't bother me. It's still a struggle, no matter what. My sis-in-law and her daughter both got a lapband at the same time several years ago. Sis has kept the weight off by exercising, changing diet, etc. Niece has gained a lot of the weight back. I see her make good choices when the family is all together, but I don't know what she's doing in the rest of her life.0
-
It's really weird to hear people say that surgery is the easier way. I had bariatric surgery in 2005 and it was the worst/hardest thing in my life. I was miserable the entire time. I gained about half of it back when I got pregnant in 2008 and now I'm trying to lose it. I kept putting it off, but I don't know why. This is MUCH easier than the surgery!!!! They were concerned with my health then so they pushed me to do it while I was young.0
-
OMG. People can't have WLS to lose 40 lbs. Seriously?? Are people so obtuse that they think a person with just a little weight to lose can walk into a doctor's office and say, "Hey, I need to lose forty, so set up some WLS for me!" It isn't that easy, and some people need to stop talking when they don't know what they're saying. Just sit down, please!
WLS is reserved for the morbidly obese, not the sorta overweight, not the vanity pounds, not even overweight people. I don't know a doctor who will consider WLS for anyone who isn't at least 100 lbs overweight, and even then, it's not that easy.
I've never had WLS, never considered having it, but like I said, I know people who have, and they went through months of psych evals, and doctor's appointments, appointments with nutritionists, etc., to get to the point where WLS was even considered. Only two cases I know of that some of that was skipped - my colleague, whose life was very much in danger, and an online friend, who was in a similar situation.
It's easy to sit back and judge others. It takes courage to not be a dbag and try to understand why some people take the route they've chosen, not to mention some degree of empathy, which clearly some folks lack.0 -
Actually your stomach stretches back out to normal size.0
-
Nope.
Really big people (400, 500, 600 etc) have a hard time just standing up. The surgery can help with that and allow them to take the next step.
We take it for granted that we can walk around the block or make ourselves healthy foods. Other people don't have that option. Those who think it's the easy way out are blind to their privilege.0 -
You quoted me first, as you did in the last exchange we had. I do t know why you think discussing different opinions always has to be a heated debate. Why can't you view it as talking instead of debating?if you respond, I wont speak to you, i know you are trying to pull me into a debate despite an arm long list of emails where I am begging you tearfully to please not. I know you think its fun, but i dont and i cant and ive told you that.
im allowed to feel worried that they may not get as much out of it.
if i said they cheated, or if i said that they had it easier, then you could whatever at me, but i didnt. i said im worried they might miss out.
which of course makes me evil.
And I agreed I'd never even discuss what you e asked me not to discuss with you. And I haven't and I won't.0 -
depends on the person honestly.
I know two people who had it done. One woman I dont think she could have lost the weight any other way she probably had to lose 200-300 pounds and was an older woman 40's or so. It was honestly the best thing for her and she struggled immensely afterwards with all sorts of complications. She had gastric bypass done probably about 8-10 years ago now. I lost track of her so I dont know the long term outcome for her.
The second person who had it done I think took the easy way out. I dont know her all that well, so this is probably unfair. She had about 100#'s to lose, (just based on her size and mine and knowing what i want to lose) she was younger - about mid 30's.and based on what I know about her tends to take the easy way out and doesnt seem to take responsibility for choices she's made.i(.e. I dont think she worked out / exercised at all, she was always too tired, )
I dont know how much she lost, but she looks great and is on her way and seems happier. so hopefully it will work for her. she didnt have bypass she had another one, but was all excited about having to drink protein drinks and lose weight with no work on her part.0 -
I look at them with a little jealousy because they either:
A) had a better health plan than me that covered it
or
have more money than me and can afford it 0 -
Do you view someone's success differently if you find out they lost weight through one of these methods?
Yes, but not the way you might think. I don't automatically believe they "cheated." I think of the surgery almost like training wheels on a bike. Some people needed them to get going, and learned how to ride a bike that way. Others didn't. I am one of the people who didn't. But when I'm riding down the street next to a kid who had them long ago, can anyone tell?
And yes, people who have the surgery have to work hard, or else the surgery doesn't work. And if they ever let up, they deal with more complications and problems than overweight people who didn't have surgery and regain their weight. I'm sure those people feel that they have earned their weight loss. I'm sure they feel they have learned a lot about themselves. Their stories are different but not "less than" mine or anyone else's. Of course it's different, but that doesn't automatically make it better or worse, harder or easier. If they can maintain the loss, if they can be healthier and happier... that is what matters most.
To me, this is almost like finding out a new mother had to have a C-section, then telling her she took the easy way out. :noway:0 -
I do!
However, If they have kept the weight off for several years, then they deserve all the kudos. Maintaining is harder than losing0 -
Do you view someone's success differently if you find out they lost weight through one of these methods?
Yes, but not the way you might think. I don't automatically believe they "cheated." I think of the surgery almost like training wheels on a bike. Some people needed them to get going, and learned how to ride a bike that way. Others didn't. I am one of the people who didn't. But when I'm riding down the street next to a kid who had them long ago, can anyone tell?
And yes, people who have the surgery have to work hard, or else the surgery doesn't work. And if they ever let up, they deal with more complications and problems than overweight people who didn't have surgery and regain their weight. I'm sure those people feel that they have earned their weight loss. I'm sure they feel they have learned a lot about themselves. Their stories are different but not "less than" mine or anyone else's. Of course it's different, but that doesn't automatically make it better or worse, harder or easier. If they can maintain the loss, if they can be healthier and happier... that is what matters most.
To me, this is almost like finding out a new mother had to have a C-section, then telling her she took the easy way out. :noway:
thats how I feel, but im still wrong apparently. having surgery is exactly like not having surgery.0 -
To me, this is almost like finding out a new mother had to have a C-section, then telling her she took the easy way out. :noway:
So perfectly put!!!0 -
To me, this is almost like finding out a new mother had to have a C-section, then telling her she took the easy way out. :noway:
You might be my new hero! :-)0 -
To me, this is almost like finding out a new mother had to have a C-section, then telling her she took the easy way out. :noway:
I had two c-sections, so yeah...totally agree.0 -
Do you view someone's success differently if you find out they lost weight through one of these methods?
Yes, but not the way you might think. I don't automatically believe they "cheated." I think of the surgery almost like training wheels on a bike. Some people needed them to get going, and learned how to ride a bike that way. Others didn't. I am one of the people who didn't. But when I'm riding down the street next to a kid who had them long ago, can anyone tell?
And yes, people who have the surgery have to work hard, or else the surgery doesn't work. And if they ever let up, they deal with more complications and problems than overweight people who didn't have surgery and regain their weight. I'm sure those people feel that they have earned their weight loss. I'm sure they feel they have learned a lot about themselves. Their stories are different but not "less than" mine or anyone else's. Of course it's different, but that doesn't automatically make it better or worse, harder or easier. If they can maintain the loss, if they can be healthier and happier... that is what matters most.
To me, this is almost like finding out a new mother had to have a C-section, then telling her she took the easy way out. :noway:
thats how I feel, but im still wrong apparently. having surgery is exactly like not having surgery.
First off, I respect you, you know that as we are friends here. I respect your opinion, and I give you all the props for losing the weight via diet and exercise and sheer force of Will.
You're right, it's different. Very different. But some parts of the experience are the same: changing behavior and habits about food intake and hopefully about exercise. Even people who have surgery have to change those behaviors... the surgery doesn't change it for them. Those who have surgery thinking they can't possibly screw weight loss up afterwards are in for a rude awakening. They can, and many do. We've all got stories of people we know who have done just that. And so those people go through a part of the process that others do not. They learn different things. They experience their weight loss in a different way. But no one is going to tell me it is the easy way. I've known too many people who have shown me otherwise.
Surgery is like a jump start. Mindset is the battery. Without a healthy battery, the jump start only gets you so far.0 -
I have a very good friend on here who had Gastric Bypass. I'm pretty sure she had to struggle, scream, and claw to lose her 100+ lbs just as much as I did, if not more.
Just because someone had surgery to help speed up the initial process, doesn't mean they don't deserve the same level of respect and praise as someone who lost a similar amount of weight without surgery.
This ^^^
I met a woman at the gym in my Zumba class. We were talking about how much weight we had each lost. She was at over 90 pounds. But, what she said to me was "but you did it the real way, I had bypass". Here she was, dripping with sweat, and she put that disclaimer out there. It really bothered me that somehow she thought it was cheating. She fought the insurance company for coverage, jumped through zillions of hoops, went through MAJOR surgery & a hideous recovery, risking her life in the process, and has worked so hard for every one of those 90 pounds. Yeah, it's not cheating.0 -
Okay, so it's not cheating...
...but it's still different.0 -
Not everyone goes through a difficult recovery. My friend was off to a weekend getaway ten days after surgery, we went out to dinner and she ate normal food(in very small amounts) Her scars were very minimal(laparoscopic procedure) and was even drinking alcohol 4 months later. So, easy recovery.
Another friend was performing at a public function in full costume within a month. On his feet for the better part of a ten hour day.0 -
Okay, so it's not cheating...
...but it's still different.
Yes, much the same way that having a baby via C-section is different. The recovery is especially different, I'm told. But at the end of the day, both mothers have babies, and the work certainly doesn't end there.0 -
ABSOLUTELY0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 427 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions