Do you view someone's success differently if......

aliceb39

No, it doesn't bother me. It's still a struggle, no matter what. My sis-in-law and her daughter both got a lapband at the same time several years ago. Sis has kept the weight off by exercising, changing diet, etc. Niece has gained a lot of the weight back. I see her make good choices when the family is all together, but I don't know what she's doing in the rest of her life.

ashesmf

It's really weird to hear people say that surgery is the easier way. I had bariatric surgery in 2005 and it was the worst/hardest thing in my life. I was miserable the entire time. I gained about half of it back when I got pregnant in 2008 and now I'm trying to lose it. I kept putting it off, but I don't know why. This is MUCH easier than the surgery!!!! They were concerned with my health then so they pushed me to do it while I was young.

Skratchie

OMG. People can't have WLS to lose 40 lbs. Seriously?? Are people so obtuse that they think a person with just a little weight to lose can walk into a doctor's office and say, "Hey, I need to lose forty, so set up some WLS for me!" It isn't that easy, and some people need to stop talking when they don't know what they're saying. Just sit down, please!

WLS is reserved for the morbidly obese, not the sorta overweight, not the vanity pounds, not even overweight people. I don't know a doctor who will consider WLS for anyone who isn't at least 100 lbs overweight, and even then, it's not that easy.

I've never had WLS, never considered having it, but like I said, I know people who have, and they went through months of psych evals, and doctor's appointments, appointments with nutritionists, etc., to get to the point where WLS was even considered. Only two cases I know of that some of that was skipped - my colleague, whose life was very much in danger, and an online friend, who was in a similar situation.

It's easy to sit back and judge others. It takes courage to not be a dbag and try to understand why some people take the route they've chosen, not to mention some degree of empathy, which clearly some folks lack.

ashesmf

Actually your stomach stretches back out to normal size.

quirkytizzy

Nope.

Really big people (400, 500, 600 etc) have a hard time just standing up. The surgery can help with that and allow them to take the next step.

We take it for granted that we can walk around the block or make ourselves healthy foods. Other people don't have that option. Those who think it's the easy way out are blind to their privilege.

perfectingpatti

if you respond, I wont speak to you, i know you are trying to pull me into a debate despite an arm long list of emails where I am begging you tearfully to please not. I know you think its fun, but i dont and i cant and ive told you that.

im allowed to feel worried that they may not get as much out of it.

if i said they cheated, or if i said that they had it easier, then you could whatever at me, but i didnt. i said im worried they might miss out.

which of course makes me evil.

You quoted me first, as you did in the last exchange we had. I do t know why you think discussing different opinions always has to be a heated debate. Why can't you view it as talking instead of debating?
And I agreed I'd never even discuss what you e asked me not to discuss with you. And I haven't and I won't.

JESSJESJ

depends on the person honestly.

I know two people who had it done. One woman I dont think she could have lost the weight any other way she probably had to lose 200-300 pounds and was an older woman 40's or so. It was honestly the best thing for her and she struggled immensely afterwards with all sorts of complications. She had gastric bypass done probably about 8-10 years ago now. I lost track of her so I dont know the long term outcome for her.

The second person who had it done I think took the easy way out. I dont know her all that well, so this is probably unfair. She had about 100#'s to lose, (just based on her size and mine and knowing what i want to lose) she was younger - about mid 30's.and based on what I know about her tends to take the easy way out and doesnt seem to take responsibility for choices she's made.i(.e. I dont think she worked out / exercised at all, she was always too tired, )

I dont know how much she lost, but she looks great and is on her way and seems happier. so hopefully it will work for her. she didnt have bypass she had another one, but was all excited about having to drink protein drinks and lose weight with no work on her part.

RobfromLakewood

I look at them with a little jealousy because they either:

A) had a better health plan than me that covered it

or

have more money than me and can afford it

PomegranatePriestess

Do you view someone's success differently if you find out they lost weight through one of these methods?

Yes, but not the way you might think. I don't automatically believe they "cheated." I think of the surgery almost like training wheels on a bike. Some people needed them to get going, and learned how to ride a bike that way. Others didn't. I am one of the people who didn't. But when I'm riding down the street next to a kid who had them long ago, can anyone tell?

And yes, people who have the surgery have to work hard, or else the surgery doesn't work. And if they ever let up, they deal with more complications and problems than overweight people who didn't have surgery and regain their weight. I'm sure those people feel that they have earned their weight loss. I'm sure they feel they have learned a lot about themselves. Their stories are different but not "less than" mine or anyone else's. Of course it's different, but that doesn't automatically make it better or worse, harder or easier. If they can maintain the loss, if they can be healthier and happier... that is what matters most.

To me, this is almost like finding out a new mother had to have a C-section, then telling her she took the easy way out. :noway:

moustache_flavored_lube

I do!
However, If they have kept the weight off for several years, then they deserve all the kudos. Maintaining is harder than losing

yoovie

Do you view someone's success differently if you find out they lost weight through one of these methods?

Yes, but not the way you might think. I don't automatically believe they "cheated." I think of the surgery almost like training wheels on a bike. Some people needed them to get going, and learned how to ride a bike that way. Others didn't. I am one of the people who didn't. But when I'm riding down the street next to a kid who had them long ago, can anyone tell?

And yes, people who have the surgery have to work hard, or else the surgery doesn't work. And if they ever let up, they deal with more complications and problems than overweight people who didn't have surgery and regain their weight. I'm sure those people feel that they have earned their weight loss. I'm sure they feel they have learned a lot about themselves. Their stories are different but not "less than" mine or anyone else's. Of course it's different, but that doesn't automatically make it better or worse, harder or easier. If they can maintain the loss, if they can be healthier and happier... that is what matters most.

To me, this is almost like finding out a new mother had to have a C-section, then telling her she took the easy way out. :noway:

thats how I feel, but im still wrong apparently. having surgery is exactly like not having surgery.

quirkytizzy

To me, this is almost like finding out a new mother had to have a C-section, then telling her she took the easy way out. :noway:

So perfectly put!!!

Skratchie

To me, this is almost like finding out a new mother had to have a C-section, then telling her she took the easy way out. :noway:

You might be my new hero! :-)

WendyTerry420

To me, this is almost like finding out a new mother had to have a C-section, then telling her she took the easy way out. :noway:

I had two c-sections, so yeah...totally agree.

PomegranatePriestess

Do you view someone's success differently if you find out they lost weight through one of these methods?

Yes, but not the way you might think. I don't automatically believe they "cheated." I think of the surgery almost like training wheels on a bike. Some people needed them to get going, and learned how to ride a bike that way. Others didn't. I am one of the people who didn't. But when I'm riding down the street next to a kid who had them long ago, can anyone tell?

And yes, people who have the surgery have to work hard, or else the surgery doesn't work. And if they ever let up, they deal with more complications and problems than overweight people who didn't have surgery and regain their weight. I'm sure those people feel that they have earned their weight loss. I'm sure they feel they have learned a lot about themselves. Their stories are different but not "less than" mine or anyone else's. Of course it's different, but that doesn't automatically make it better or worse, harder or easier. If they can maintain the loss, if they can be healthier and happier... that is what matters most.

To me, this is almost like finding out a new mother had to have a C-section, then telling her she took the easy way out. :noway:

thats how I feel, but im still wrong apparently. having surgery is exactly like not having surgery.

First off, I respect you, you know that as we are friends here. I respect your opinion, and I give you all the props for losing the weight via diet and exercise and sheer force of Will.

You're right, it's different. Very different. But some parts of the experience are the same: changing behavior and habits about food intake and hopefully about exercise. Even people who have surgery have to change those behaviors... the surgery doesn't change it for them. Those who have surgery thinking they can't possibly screw weight loss up afterwards are in for a rude awakening. They can, and many do. We've all got stories of people we know who have done just that. And so those people go through a part of the process that others do not. They learn different things. They experience their weight loss in a different way. But no one is going to tell me it is the easy way. I've known too many people who have shown me otherwise.

Surgery is like a jump start. Mindset is the battery. Without a healthy battery, the jump start only gets you so far.

Otterluv

I have a very good friend on here who had Gastric Bypass. I'm pretty sure she had to struggle, scream, and claw to lose her 100+ lbs just as much as I did, if not more.

Just because someone had surgery to help speed up the initial process, doesn't mean they don't deserve the same level of respect and praise as someone who lost a similar amount of weight without surgery.

This ^^^

I met a woman at the gym in my Zumba class. We were talking about how much weight we had each lost. She was at over 90 pounds. But, what she said to me was "but you did it the real way, I had bypass". Here she was, dripping with sweat, and she put that disclaimer out there. It really bothered me that somehow she thought it was cheating. She fought the insurance company for coverage, jumped through zillions of hoops, went through MAJOR surgery & a hideous recovery, risking her life in the process, and has worked so hard for every one of those 90 pounds. Yeah, it's not cheating.

jofjltncb6

Okay, so it's not cheating...

...but it's still different.

faireplay

Not everyone goes through a difficult recovery. My friend was off to a weekend getaway ten days after surgery, we went out to dinner and she ate normal food(in very small amounts) Her scars were very minimal(laparoscopic procedure) and was even drinking alcohol 4 months later. So, easy recovery.
Another friend was performing at a public function in full costume within a month. On his feet for the better part of a ten hour day.

PomegranatePriestess

Okay, so it's not cheating...

...but it's still different.

Yes, much the same way that having a baby via C-section is different. The recovery is especially different, I'm told. But at the end of the day, both mothers have babies, and the work certainly doesn't end there.

melbatoast917

ABSOLUTELY