Do you view someone's success differently if......

yoovie

yes 100%.

I dont think of them as lesser than those who did it the hard way - but I do think that they missed out on what those who did it through hard work- gained.

getting fit the old fashioned way makes you mentally stronger, emotionally better able to cope with obstacles, you learn yourself better because you face fears head on and are constantly proving to yourself (without anyone on the outside being in your head with you) that you can tackle anything if you try hard enough - that you can evolve your body on your own, your life, your path, the direction you want to move forward in., making these things actually happen for yourself through hard work, to me, brings with it a strong sense of self that you just cant get without the patience and sweat of spending years cultivating a relationship with yourself.

my brain cant wrap itself around how you can gain all those same things while you're unconscious in surgery.

That's the thing, gastric patients whether its, RNY, Sleeve or lap band have to work just as hard as everyone that hasn't had it done. It's not like you just have the surgery, keep eating the way you did, sit around on the couch and lose the weight. You have to work just as hard and work out just as hard. The psychological challenges that come with it, I think sometimes are harder because you're body does change so quickly that you're mind a lot of the time hasn't caught up. The initial quick loss comes in the first few months, and to keep it coming off you have to work just as hard as everyone else. The quick loss comes from the severe calorie deficit you're eating at.

If you don't follow the plan, workout, etc....yes you will gain it back just like anyone else. It's not a miracle cure.

I feel stronger about severely touched up pictures, or obviously doctored ones. I prefer authentic over anything else.

yoovie

yes 100%.

I dont think of them as lesser than those who did it the hard way - but I do think that they missed out on what those who did it through hard work- gained.

getting fit the old fashioned way makes you mentally stronger, emotionally better able to cope with obstacles, you learn yourself better because you face fears head on and are constantly proving to yourself (without anyone on the outside being in your head with you) that you can tackle anything if you try hard enough - that you can evolve your body on your own, your life, your path, the direction you want to move forward in., making these things actually happen for yourself through hard work, to me, brings with it a strong sense of self that you just cant get without the patience and sweat of spending years cultivating a relationship with yourself.

my brain cant wrap itself around how you can gain all those same things while you're unconscious in surgery.

That's the thing, gastric patients whether its, RNY, Sleeve or lap band have to work just as hard as everyone that hasn't had it done. It's not like you just have the surgery, keep eating the way you did, sit around on the couch and lose the weight. You have to work just as hard and work out just as hard. The psychological challenges that come with it, I think sometimes are harder because you're body does change so quickly that you're mind a lot of the time hasn't caught up. The initial quick loss comes in the first few months, and to keep it coming off you have to work just as hard as everyone else. The quick loss comes from the severe calorie deficit you're eating at.

If you don't follow the plan, workout, etc....yes you will gain it back just like anyone else. It's not a miracle cure.

also - like the other girl said, I was referring to getting fit - you are referring to losing weight.

Jimaudit

NO

Some folks have such restrictions that they cannot get to their goal weight any other way.

For instance: I have a neuromuscular disease and fragile back (from disease). Exercise for me is almost nothing due to back restrictions. I ride my bike when I can and sometimes can do some cardio swimming (rare) but thats it. And you gym fiends plz do not respond and tell me what I can and cannot do, you don't know my situation. My journey will take a very long time but I am committed. I am not going the surgery route but can empathize.

Some other folks have very debilitating conditions where surgery is the ONLY option to even get on their feet and have a chance to exercise.

Remember the old axioms: "Don't judge a book by its cover" and "Don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes"

just my .02

Deedsie

I didn't even think about reading someone's profile to see if they had WLS.

But to the original topic, do I view someone's success differently if.... well, no. I don't. I view it as success and really any time I see someone's ticker no matter the number, I view it as success because by God, they are on MFP and they are reading and thinking and having active dialogue about losing weight. They are succeeding in my book at least but I have been told that I have unreasonably high expectations.

cubbies77

I love all of these people saying, "We have to work just as hard! We have to eat right! We exercise! You have no idea how hard this is!"

So then why have the surgery? Why not just eat right and exercise and NOT go through the surgery? If you can watch your portions and exercise "just like everyone else", then why have your stomach altered?

Oh? Because it's hard to do all of that?

BINGO. That's the POINT of why you get judged. That's why I have zero respect for anyone who cheats and has surgery or takes phentermine.

I get so angry when people who've had surgery give advice to "JUST EAT LESS". Your stomach is the size of a nickel. Don't tell me what to do to fill my normal-size stomach. That's like taking financial advice from a rich kid who starts out with Daddy's money and tells me to "just stop spending as much".

You cheated. Just own it. And if you could have done it yourself, you would have. My favorites are the ones who have to lose 40 pounds first. If you could lose 40 pounds the regular way, why have the surgery at all?

Oh, that's right, because it's EASIER AND FASTER to have surgery.

So don't sit there and tell me our struggle is exactly the same. Don't even try.

perfectingpatti

I guess I'm missing how someone who has surgery, then loses weight and gets fit "misses out" on anything. They don't get wheeled out of surgery 200lbs lighter. They still have work to do. They still have the same mental and physical battles.

What's the difference between someone who has surgery, loses lots of weight, then gains it all back and someone who loses the weight strictly by diet and exercise and gains it all back? Nothing.

cubbies77

I guess I'm missing how someone who has surgery, then loses weight and gets fit "misses out" on anything. They don't get wheeled out of surgery 200lbs lighter. They still have work to do. They still have the same mental and physical battles.

What's the difference between someone who has surgery, loses lots of weight, then gains it all back and someone who loses the weight strictly by diet and exercise and gains it all back? Nothing.

Exactly. So why even have the surgery in the first place? That's my point.

perfectingpatti

Exactly. So why even have the surgery in the first place? That's my point.

Because some people need it to save their lives. You may be able to go from 400 lbs to 150 with just diet and exercise, but for many people that big, it's hard to even get started. Have you ever been so big that you cannot exercise? Have you ever been so big and used to eating so much that you feel physical pains when you try dieting?

Not everyone is like those people on Chris Powell's Extreme Make-Over Weight Loss.

yoovie

I guess I'm missing how someone who has surgery, then loses weight and gets fit "misses out" on anything. They don't get wheeled out of surgery 200lbs lighter. They still have work to do. They still have the same mental and physical battles.

What's the difference between someone who has surgery, loses lots of weight, then gains it all back and someone who loses the weight strictly by diet and exercise and gains it all back? Nothing.

one person has a doctor's physical help on altering their body and one is all by their lonesome with no alterations. to me that small difference might make a difference in what they take from the experience.

which is why i specified that I do NOT think less of them, only that I worry that they might miss out on something.

perfectingpatti

one person has a doctor's physical help on altering their body and one is all by their lonesome with no alterations. to me that small difference might make a difference in what they take from the experience. which is why i specified that I do NOT think less of them, only that I worry that they might miss out on something.

Once they leave the hospital, they're doing the rest all by their lonesome. All those surgeries do is limit the amount of food they can eat comfortably. Some can and do still over eat. The battles post surgery are the same as those who don't have the surgery. It takes mental and physical strength for those people to lose the weight, even after surgery. Or, I should say, in my experience with those who have had these types of surgeries that is the case.

Missjulesdid

I swore for years that I'd NEVER have WLS. Now I find myself awaiting Vertical Sleeve surgery in two months. I finally decided that I don't give a fat rat's *kitten* what other people think. You want to think I cheated? Fine. You want to think I took the easy way out? fine. You want to think I'm lazy? Fine, I really don't care. I've lost hundreds of pounds in my life time I did it "on my own".. heck right now I'm down 53 pounds from my highest weight. I've worked hard for those pounds. I'll continue to work hard for the pounds after my surgery.... but I'm going to do it with an appetite that for the first time in my life actually matches my hypothyroid metabolism.

CKJ118

I cannot judge either way because each person's motivation to lose weight is unique. Some years ago I did Weight Watchers and diligently counted my points and put in some walking for most days of the week. While I did lose over 60lbs I did not change my lifestyle, I merely ate the number of calories in a day that guaranteed weight loss.
I have lost over 90lbs(through healthy eating and a lot of time at the gym) currently and the difference now is that I have completely over hauled my life to revolve around being healthy and that is my top priority and I am working to overcome the emotional reasons that got me heavy in the first place. There have been a couple of people in my friends and family that have had the bypass surgery and refuse to put in the effort to find out why they gained in the first place. Then they constantly pick at small unhealthy food all day long and have gained back a significant amount of the weight they lost so I think that what it comes down to is if you are not in the frame of mind to change your whole life style then it is easy to fall back to old habits. I had to change my habits day by day and I never thought I would like to workout, but I choose to get up each day and to see the changes in myself and note how much better I feel and then I know that it is all worth it. Good luck to everyone losing weight no matter which method you choose!

WendyTerry420

I guess I feel a little differently. To be honest, I would be sympathetic that they had to do that. Stomach surgery, of any kind, is no joke. It seems like the op is implying that surgery is the easy way out. I disagree. I think it's easier to lose weight sensibly through diet and exercise. At least what I am doing is pretty easy.

Txnurse97

WLS is not for me. I couldn't do it. But I think people who have had surgery have it TOUGHER, in my opinion. They have more dietary restrictions than I ever did. Losing weight for me was difficult enough for me without a severely restricted diet. Wouldn't have worked for me, so more power to those it has helped.

chocl8girl

I love all of these people saying, "We have to work just as hard! We have to eat right! We exercise! You have no idea how hard this is!"

So then why have the surgery? Why not just eat right and exercise and NOT go through the surgery? If you can watch your portions and exercise "just like everyone else", then why have your stomach altered?

Oh? Because it's hard to do all of that?

BINGO. That's the POINT of why you get judged. That's why I have zero respect for anyone who cheats and has surgery or takes phentermine.

I get so angry when people who've had surgery give advice to "JUST EAT LESS". Your stomach is the size of a nickel. Don't tell me what to do to fill my normal-size stomach. That's like taking financial advice from a rich kid who starts out with Daddy's money and tells me to "just stop spending as much".

You cheated. Just own it. And if you could have done it yourself, you would have. My favorites are the ones who have to lose 40 pounds first. If you could lose 40 pounds the regular way, why have the surgery at all?

Oh, that's right, because it's EASIER AND FASTER to have surgery.

So don't sit there and tell me our struggle is exactly the same. Don't even try.

Wow. You seem hangry.

WendyTerry420

I know people who have had surgery, and after seeing the "side effects" they've had, I sometimes think they've had it worse than I am ... one of the guys at work had to do it for health reasons, and he has the worst time with digestion, particularly any sort of meat. Almost everyone I know who's had it done (you'd be surprised how many do it), has some sort of issue with food that they can't eat or digest or ... whatever. And there IS a risk of death ... there was a woman in the news not THAT long ago who died as a result of an infection from her gastric bypass surgery.

It makes me think that surgery, lap band, etc., isn't the easy way out ... it's the scary way out. I'll just count calories, thanks.

^^^ THIS!! EXACTLY!!!!

I have had several aunts, cousins, friends, etc. that have done this. This post totally makes my point.

Missjulesdid

I love all of these people saying, "We have to work just as hard! We have to eat right! We exercise! You have no idea how hard this is!"

So then why have the surgery? Why not just eat right and exercise and NOT go through the surgery? If you can watch your portions and exercise "just like everyone else", then why have your stomach altered?

Oh? Because it's hard to do all of that?

BINGO. That's the POINT of why you get judged. That's why I have zero respect for anyone who cheats and has surgery or takes phentermine.

I get so angry when people who've had surgery give advice to "JUST EAT LESS". Your stomach is the size of a nickel. Don't tell me what to do to fill my normal-size stomach. That's like taking financial advice from a rich kid who starts out with Daddy's money and tells me to "just stop spending as much".

You cheated. Just own it. And if you could have done it yourself, you would have. My favorites are the ones who have to lose 40 pounds first. If you could lose 40 pounds the regular way, why have the surgery at all?

Oh, that's right, because it's EASIER AND FASTER to have surgery.

So don't sit there and tell me our struggle is exactly the same. Don't even try.

Yup yup yup.. This is the kind of stuff I USED to concern myself with.. That's why it took me so long to decide to have the surgery.

Fit_NYC_

Not really. I wonder what it was that made them go that route, but everybody's journey is different and each path has its struggles.

yoovie

All those surgeries do is limit the amount of food they can eat comfortably.

^ is an alteration.

Is having something done to you to limit the amount of food you can eat comfortably - being in a different situation than being someone who has to limit their food intake mentally?

if you respond, I wont speak to you, i know you are trying to pull me into a debate despite an arm long list of emails where I am begging you tearfully to please not. I know you think its fun, but i dont and i cant and ive told you that.

im allowed to feel worried that they may not get as much out of it.

if i said they cheated, or if i said that they had it easier, then you could whatever at me, but i didnt. i said im worried they might miss out.

which of course makes me evil.

marycmeadows

I definitely view it differently. I feel like if I can put in the work and do it without that aid (and really I mean why go put your body through that when it can be done without it) then anyone can. period. I feel like they cheated and tried to take the easy way out - and probably didn't full realize that they had to completely make a mental change and that's why so many that get that surgery aren't successful, but the change you have to make to be successful with weight loss surgery is the same you have to make to do it on your own without surgery so why not just do it on your own.