Boy do I need to move out.
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If the items were items that OTHER people in your family liked and you are the only one trying to lose weight I would understand it but it seems quite wrong of your mother to be bringing in unhealthy junk food that you have asked her not to bring that only you would eat. Have to agree it is sabbotage.
I would not sabbotage yourself further by moving out before you are ready, the longer you can stay at home and save your money the better for you but perhaps consider telling your mother to no longer shop for you as she is not respecting your choices and do your own grocery shopping and consider anything she buys off limits as you would if you were sharing a house with other people.
Alternatively, if it is just you who would eat them and you don't intend to throw them away straight away that way you won't be tempted. I think there is enough temptation everywhere else to deal with you don't need your family who are supposed to be supporting you sabbotaging you. Family members, particularly parents should support their children - regardless of their age- who are trying to have a healthier diet after all it is their children's health at stake.0 -
Well you can either throw the item away and stay or move out. If you keep throwing the item away may be she will get the hint.
This!
Um...yup....or bag the offensive items and give to someone who would like, food pantry, skinny undernourished co-worker. Someone might as well enjoy. Eventually Mom will get the hint, maybe even before you find that place of your own.0 -
she just laughs and says "don't eat them"
I agree with your mom.
As do I.0 -
Go buy your own snacks and foods you like to eat. Contribute to the meal and your mother might like some of foods you come up with being that she also goes to the gym. Keep them out of sight whatever it is she buys. Surely she's not buying Twinkies or something, LOL. Do you have siblings in the house too? You will need willpower where ever you live. Good luck!0
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I haven't lived at home for 12 years and my Mom still does this; she brought my 2 favorite desserts over last time she visited. It won't change just by moving out. You have to learn to control your urges. I ate one Rice Krispy Treat and gave the rest to my husband (yes, that means they were still in the house) and put the cherry pie in the freezer in case I need a quick dessert when we have company over.0
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Thanks to the people who understand the fact i'm the only one who eats the foods that she bought that i told her not to buy for me. Sure i can buy my own groceries. It's not going to stop her from buying the food for me..... and if i could afford to move out, i would. I'm still trying to figure out school. And I'm not complaining. If anything, just trying to see if anyone's in the same situation. Calm down everyone, lol.
And i didn't say I was going to eat them. Of course the temptations there, but i'm not going to give in. It's just a waste of money and the principle of it is annoying.0 -
So let me get this straight, you don't pay for the groceries and you're complaining about what your mommy buys :huh:
Gee Whatta hardship ....
Have some self control and be thankful0 -
i'd say its sabotage, pure and simple. if you have asked your mum not to buy stuff as you are the only one that eats things and you no longer wish to eat them, my guess she is unhappy with her own progress if you are gymming together.
if you were just friends you could cut this kind of toxic behaviour out of your life, but given that its family, its a tough situation.
it sounds like you have already tried to talk to your mum and ask for her support, but just arent getting it.
giving the food away or throwing it out might help her see that you will not be phased by her attempts to thwart your progress.
maybe you can channel the hate into not eating the foods, just to spite her? i find anger a really, really good driver!
can you have a stash of go-to healthier foods that you can eat instead if you are overcome with cravings?
or do something to distract yourself, like go for a walk so you are not only not letting her "win", but using her actions to push you closer to your goals like some kind of bizarre reverse psychology?0 -
Yep, move out or throw it out.0
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Just don't eat it.0
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You shouldn't really totally give up anything to lose weight because diets don't work an lifestyle changes do so why not have a SMALL amount of these foods if you like them? Portion them out if possible into little baggies or freeze some. Depends on what it is of course.0
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So let me get this straight, you don't pay for the groceries and you're complaining about what your mommy buys :huh:
Gee Whatta hardship ....
Have some self control and be thankful
did you not read my last post?0 -
i'd say its sabotage, pure and simple. if you have asked your mum not to buy stuff as you are the only one that eats things and you no longer wish to eat them, my guess she is unhappy with her own progress if you are gymming together.
if you were just friends you could cut this kind of toxic behaviour out of your life, but given that its family, its a tough situation.
it sounds like you have already tried to talk to your mum and ask for her support, but just arent getting it.
giving the food away or throwing it out might help her see that you will not be phased by her attempts to thwart your progress.
maybe you can channel the hate into not eating the foods, just to spite her? i find anger a really, really good driver!
can you have a stash of go-to healthier foods that you can eat instead if you are overcome with cravings?
or do something to distract yourself, like go for a walk so you are not only not letting her "win", but using her actions to push you closer to your goals like some kind of bizarre reverse psychology?
haha! Thank you
glad you don't think i'm just here to whine like most people do. 0 -
Seriously?
My boyfriend does this all the time but seeing as I am determined to be healthy and drop 4stone I have a little evil monkey on my back driving me away from temptation.
If I had no control over what my Mum bought (living in her house, eating her food) I would still be careful.0 -
I think the "if you don't like it, don't eat it" argument is great for people who can resist on a regular basis, but for many of us here, that isn't always possible. I can't have certain foods in the house because they're trigger foods and I will binge on them. And to have a parent laughingly bring something like that into the home is tantamount to taking a alcoholic to a bar and say "oh, just have water".
OP - I understand how crappy that is! Pack up the food and take it to work, a food bank, church, or return it to the store for credit and buy healthy foods.0 -
I hear you girl. I have to exact same problem. I say just throw the food away. That will piss her off and then maybe she won't do it again. Another thing that you could do is go grocery shopping with her so then you can be absolutely sure that she won't buy any of your problem foods.
You would throw away food someone else bought for you? Why not buy your own food?0 -
Well you can either throw the item away and stay or move out. If you keep throwing the item away may be she will get the hint.
seems like the mature way of handling things.
Its how I deal with it when my housemates bring home my favorites.
Actually no im an adult, i just make the effort to not go to the junk food cabinet. It works pretty well for me.0 -
Don't throw the food out, that's such a waste.
Make sure you tell her that you're just going to donate it to the Salvation Army or w/e.0 -
Well you're old enough to move out but I don't know if your financial circumstances will allow it. Don't you realize that you have it made?! You are living in her house and she is buying your food. Either don't eat it, give it away or throw it out. But I would recommend not eating it since you aren't the one who paid for it. Time to learn to deal with temptation as you will have them your whole life.
Sorry...tough love is sometimes best!0 -
fair go, the OP already said she is in school.
im sure there have been times when we've all had a good rant and felt much better for it. this is the "motivation and support" forum - the OP is entitled to come here and ask for ways to deal with what she has already identified as an obvious fat trap she is having a hard time negotiating.
yes, there will always be temptation and people who set out to sabotage others, it might be a well-meaning relative, it might be the lady in the office who always brings in cake when they know you are struggling to stay on track, whatever.
if you dont have anything to contribute, dont. name calling is hardly productive. telling someone "dont eat something" is a waste of bandwidth, we all have our vices and i imagine if everyone had 100% willpower to do whatever they wanted all the time, none of us would even be here.0 -
You shouldn't really totally give up anything to lose weight because diets don't work an lifestyle changes do so why not have a SMALL amount of these foods if you like them? Portion them out if possible into little baggies or freeze some. Depends on what it is of course.
This! You can portion out the treats and have ONE SERVING SIZE. That's what I do because I'm not on a diet. I still eat pizza, but I only have 1 or 2 slices, instead of half a pie like I used to.0 -
Seriously?! I just love when people blame others for what food is around them!! It's sad you sit here and run your mother down because of the food she buys. you're the one who wants to change, deal with it! smh0
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I'm sorry you're managing the school/home life. I moved out early in life and lived on ramen noodles for way too long. Not the healthiest lifestyle! If your mom is going to continue to buy "little treats" for you that you know are only for you can you get the receipt to return the items? Maybe this way she will get the hint that you are making a lifestyle change and this isn't just a phase. Other people have suggested throwing the food away but that seems like such a waste and since you didn't buy it then technically it's not yours to throw out; even if your mom bought it specifically for you. If you're afraid of hurting her feelings maybe you can keep something small in portions and take the other stuff back?
Best of luck!
Lisa0 -
my husband does that. knows im trying to lose weight, comes home with soda, cookies, candy, fast food.
its like this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlc3pHJdqXc 0 -
drop it and worry about yourself! She apparently isn't as serious as u are!0
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You are 21 years old. Why do you still live with your mother? At 21 I lived in an apartment with roommates and I bought my own food and I didn't have that problem...0
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i study abroad and when i live alone i get to plan my own meals and buy my own stuff. but when i'm home over holidays, i almost always gain weight.
it's not that i can't control myself, but my mom and grandma make fatty foods (that i like) JUST FOR ME so they get hurt when i don't want to eat them.
I've been trying to tell them for years already... it doesn't work.0 -
You are 21 years old. Why do you still live with your mother? At 21 I lived in an apartment with roommates and I bought my own food and I didn't have that problem...
Some people don't have the funds to move out......plus, the OP is still in school.0 -
I hope I'm not over simplifying this but you could open package, eat one for the trouble and dump the rest right in the garbage every time she does this to you.0
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:huh: Rude and judgmental much? I take it you aren't finishing undergrad in the US during these times of economic turmoil?
Oh...and I'm usin' my foodstamps, eatin' on yo tax dollars. :bigsmile:
OP, if you're having issues with your family, which it sounds like you might, I'd look into moving out. Sometimes our relationships with our parents can just be too toxic to stick out and we need distance. If it's just about the food, I'd suggest helping your mom with the groceries or chipping in. You should try to be active in what food goes into the house. Have a heart-to-heart with your mom about the choices you are making for your health and how hurtful you find it that she isn't respecting them. At the same time, you can't dictate what other people eat, especially your parents and especially if they're buying the food. Sometimes you just have to live with a little temptation. It sucks but it's true. If all you have to choose from is junk, then things need to change, but if you just have to sidestep a few foods, consider it an exercise in learning self-control.0
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