Boy do I need to move out.
Replies
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Let me get things straight. I'm not looking for pity.
*I'm 21. Trying to get an education and figure out what i want to do with life.
*I do not have enough money to move out.
*I work at a job that is breaking rules by not paying us enough.
*My father is an alcoholic who is going to jail for the second time after breaking probation.
*My brother whom i live with is a heroin addict.
*My mother is a bi-polar woman who obsessed about her weight, is rail thin and never eats.
I'm tired, stressed out, worrying constantly, trying to figure out my life. I cannot move out when I know i cannot support myself yet.
Why are people calling me a brat. If you knew me in real life you wouldn't think that. I treat my mom with a multitude of respect. You are all acting like I l yelled at her! Here is exactly what I said. WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE: "Oh god, what is this?" -mom laughs- "Ahh i told you to not buy these any more because they're my favorite and they're terrible for you. Seriously, lol." mom said "well just don't eat them."
Does that sound rude to you?
Thank you.
Okay, maybe too harsh before, but -
Do you work at all?
Do you have any income?
If not - get a job -
If so, go buy some proper food and eat it.
Let the other stuff sit and rot!
You're always going to be around bad stuff - learn to say no to it and move on.0 -
I'm sorry you have to deal with some of these responses from people.
I'm in a somewhat similar situation. I'm 28 and still live with my mom. I'm legally disabled, so is my mom. All of her money goes to the rent for both of us and all of mine goes for food/bills (so I pay my half of the rent, half of the bills, and half of the food). I graduated from college last year and need to work on my demo reel for job applications. I'm 3D animation and the demo reel takes 6 to 8 months (then I'll get a job outside the county and live on my own).
To everyone yelling at the OP to leave the house because she's "too old" don't seem to take into account any physical or mental problems she may be dealing with that she might not want to reveal. Not to mention the economic climate of her location.
Some years are good and I can go about everything like a normal person, but then I'll have a health setback, the depression will kick in and I'll be sleeping up to 14 hours a day and watching tv or surfing the internet for the rest.
So basically, I could live with my mom and get my health straightened out or I could since I live in a college town, spend the same amount of money to share a two bedroom apartment with three other roommates who probably aren't going to be very supportive when I have a hard time getting out of bed for a few months and have to wake them up at night because I need to go to the hospital and am too sick to get there myself.
I'm fortunate, my mom understands all of the crud I go through and in turn I understand the things she goes through. She would never do what you described to me and I would never do that to her.
I'm just going to call a spade a spade, your mom is abusing the power she has over you.
First, I'd have a discussion like CoachReddy suggested. If she still bought the item (since only you like that item and no one else does), I'd return it and give her the money (being nice about it at first). Eventually she'll get it. What you might want to do is get a part time job if you are physically and mentally able to and get your our groceries. Save the rest of your money in case your mother starts exhibiting that behavior on other subjects so you can move out.
The people yelling at you to "grow up" are forgetting that mom needs to treat you like a grown up and that means respecting your wishes. Certainly do your best to continue to be more adult, but your mom needs to learn to cut those apron strings and no longer making decisions for you.
Good luck.
Thank you very much. I posted again, explaining issues that make moving out harder. Not that anyone will care, but Hopefully they'll understand a bit more and stop being so harsh.0 -
Let me get things straight. I'm not looking for pity.
*I'm 21. Trying to get an education and figure out what i want to do with life.
*I do not have enough money to move out.
*I work at a job that is breaking rules by not paying us enough.
*My father is an alcoholic who is going to jail for the second time after breaking probation.
*My brother whom i live with is a heroin addict.
*My mother is a bi-polar woman who obsessed about her weight, is rail thin and never eats.
I'm tired, stressed out, worrying constantly, trying to figure out my life. I cannot move out when I know i cannot support myself yet.
Why are people calling me a brat. If you knew me in real life you wouldn't think that. I treat my mom with a multitude of respect. You are all acting like I l yelled at her! Here is exactly what I said. WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE: "Oh god, what is this?" -mom laughs- "Ahh i told you to not buy these any more because they're my favorite and they're terrible for you. Seriously, lol." mom said "well just don't eat them."
Does that sound rude to you?
Thank you.
Okay, maybe too harsh before, but -
Do you work at all?
Do you have any income?
If not - get a job -
If so, go buy some proper food and eat it.
Let the other stuff sit and rot!
You're always going to be around bad stuff - learn to say no to it and move on.
Is no one reading my post? did you not read the post that you just quoted. I have a job. A job that is about to get in trouble for breaking the law for not paying us enough.0 -
Let me get things straight. I'm not looking for pity.
*I'm 21. Trying to get an education and figure out what i want to do with life.
*I do not have enough money to move out.
*I work at a job that is breaking rules by not paying us enough.
*My father is an alcoholic who is going to jail for the second time after breaking probation.
*My brother whom i live with is a heroin addict.
*My mother is a bi-polar woman who obsessed about her weight, is rail thin and never eats.
I'm tired, stressed out, worrying constantly, trying to figure out my life. I cannot move out when I know i cannot support myself yet.
Why are people calling me a brat. If you knew me in real life you wouldn't think that. I treat my mom with a multitude of respect. You are all acting like I l yelled at her! Here is exactly what I said. WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE: "Oh god, what is this?" -mom laughs- "Ahh i told you to not buy these any more because they're my favorite and they're terrible for you. Seriously, lol." mom said "well just don't eat them."
Does that sound rude to you?
Thank you.
Did you really say lol in a spoken conversation? Regardless of the rest of your living situation it is your moms decision what she buys. You don't have to eat it if you don't want to. I'm the one that changed my eating habits, I can't expect everyone else I live with to do the same. If your job is truly breaking the law turn them in and look for another job.0 -
The number of self-righteous people in this thread make my head hurt. Holy moly.
OP, I didn't try to make this lifestyle change until I was in my 30s so you're worlds ahead of me. If I was still living at home I'm sure I'd have the same temptations always. Although in my case it wouldn't be stuff only I ate. My whole family has been overweight due to bad eating habits that are hell to break.
Trigger foods are awful (mine are french fries and chocolate) and the fact that your mother buys them knowing they're triggers is not good. I agree with the idea of portioning them out so you can have one every once in awhile, or trying to ignore them altogether (which I know is easier said than done). Hopefully at some point she'll realize you're not eating them or are only eating them very rarely and she'll stop. Good luck!
Trigger foods are awful and until you learn to -just say no - they always will be. those foods are always going to be around. My issue was not her age or that she didn't want that food. I have very strong ideas about disrespect toward those who provide for you. She has options - those options include - buy your own damn food!0 -
Let me get things straight. I'm not looking for pity.
*I'm 21. Trying to get an education and figure out what i want to do with life.
*I do not have enough money to move out.
*I work at a job that is breaking rules by not paying us enough.
*My father is an alcoholic who is going to jail for the second time after breaking probation.
*My brother whom i live with is a heroin addict.
*My mother is a bi-polar woman who obsessed about her weight, is rail thin and never eats.
I'm tired, stressed out, worrying constantly, trying to figure out my life. I cannot move out when I know i cannot support myself yet.
Why are people calling me a brat. If you knew me in real life you wouldn't think that. I treat my mom with a multitude of respect. You are all acting like I l yelled at her! Here is exactly what I said. WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE: "Oh god, what is this?" -mom laughs- "Ahh i told you to not buy these any more because they're my favorite and they're terrible for you. Seriously, lol." mom said "well just don't eat them."
Does that sound rude to you?
Thank you.
Did you really say lol in a spoken conversation? Regardless of the rest of your living situation it is your moms decision what she buys. You don't have to eat it if you don't want to. I'm the one that changed my eating habits, I can't expect everyone else I live with to do the same. If your job is truly breaking the law turn them in and look for another job.
No. It means laughing out loud. For the oblivious folks.0 -
Let me get things straight. I'm not looking for pity.
*I'm 21. Trying to get an education and figure out what i want to do with life.
*I do not have enough money to move out.
*I work at a job that is breaking rules by not paying us enough.
*My father is an alcoholic who is going to jail for the second time after breaking probation.
*My brother whom i live with is a heroin addict.
*My mother is a bi-polar woman who obsessed about her weight, is rail thin and never eats.
I'm tired, stressed out, worrying constantly, trying to figure out my life. I cannot move out when I know i cannot support myself yet.
Why are people calling me a brat. If you knew me in real life you wouldn't think that. I treat my mom with a multitude of respect. You are all acting like I l yelled at her! Here is exactly what I said. WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE: "Oh god, what is this?" -mom laughs- "Ahh i told you to not buy these any more because they're my favorite and they're terrible for you. Seriously, lol." mom said "well just don't eat them."
Does that sound rude to you?
Thank you.
Okay, maybe too harsh before, but -
Do you work at all?
Do you have any income?
If not - get a job -
If so, go buy some proper food and eat it.
Let the other stuff sit and rot!
You're always going to be around bad stuff - learn to say no to it and move on.
Is no one reading my post? did you not read the post that you just quoted. I have a job. A job that is about to get in trouble for breaking the law for not paying us enough.
One more time - then buy your own damn food.0 -
The number of self-righteous people in this thread make my head hurt. Holy moly.
OP, I didn't try to make this lifestyle change until I was in my 30s so you're worlds ahead of me. If I was still living at home I'm sure I'd have the same temptations always. Although in my case it wouldn't be stuff only I ate. My whole family has been overweight due to bad eating habits that are hell to break.
Trigger foods are awful (mine are french fries and chocolate) and the fact that your mother buys them knowing they're triggers is not good. I agree with the idea of portioning them out so you can have one every once in awhile, or trying to ignore them altogether (which I know is easier said than done). Hopefully at some point she'll realize you're not eating them or are only eating them very rarely and she'll stop. Good luck!
Trigger foods are awful and until you learn to -just say no - they always will be. those foods are always going to be around. My issue was not her age or that she didn't want that food. I have very strong ideas about disrespect toward those who provide for you. She has options - those options include - buy your own damn food!
I don't disrespect her. I have bills to pay with my small salary. I buy certain foods when they're too expensive for my family to buy. I cannot provide all my groceries. If I could, i'd probably be well off enough to move out. An ex-coworker already reported them and she has yet to hear back.
How about you just stop commenting. Your comments are repetitive and you're obviously have nothing better to do.0 -
Let me get things straight. I'm not looking for pity.
*I'm 21. Trying to get an education and figure out what i want to do with life.
*I do not have enough money to move out.
*I work at a job that is breaking rules by not paying us enough.
*My father is an alcoholic who is going to jail for the second time after breaking probation.
*My brother whom i live with is a heroin addict.
*My mother is a bi-polar woman who obsessed about her weight, is rail thin and never eats.
I'm tired, stressed out, worrying constantly, trying to figure out my life. I cannot move out when I know i cannot support myself yet.
Why are people calling me a brat. If you knew me in real life you wouldn't think that. I treat my mom with a multitude of respect. You are all acting like I l yelled at her! Here is exactly what I said. WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE: "Oh god, what is this?" -mom laughs- "Ahh i told you to not buy these any more because they're my favorite and they're terrible for you. Seriously, lol." mom said "well just don't eat them."
Does that sound rude to you?
Thank you.
Did you really say lol in a spoken conversation? Regardless of the rest of your living situation it is your moms decision what she buys. You don't have to eat it if you don't want to. I'm the one that changed my eating habits, I can't expect everyone else I live with to do the same. If your job is truly breaking the law turn them in and look for another job.
No. It means laughing out loud. For the oblivious folks.
I know what it means which is why I asked what I did. You put it in quotation marks which would indicate it is what you said in the conversation.0 -
Move out?
Cook your own food?
PROBLEM SOLVED.0 -
Let me get things straight. I'm not looking for pity.
*I'm 21. Trying to get an education and figure out what i want to do with life.
*I do not have enough money to move out.
*I work at a job that is breaking rules by not paying us enough.
*My father is an alcoholic who is going to jail for the second time after breaking probation.
*My brother whom i live with is a heroin addict.
*My mother is a bi-polar woman who obsessed about her weight, is rail thin and never eats.
I'm tired, stressed out, worrying constantly, trying to figure out my life. I cannot move out when I know i cannot support myself yet.
Why are people calling me a brat. If you knew me in real life you wouldn't think that. I treat my mom with a multitude of respect. You are all acting like I l yelled at her! Here is exactly what I said. WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE: "Oh god, what is this?" -mom laughs- "Ahh i told you to not buy these any more because they're my favorite and they're terrible for you. Seriously, lol." mom said "well just don't eat them."
Does that sound rude to you?
Thank you.
Hey Tit, let's go for Tat:
My mother is morbidly obese and a diagnosed psycotic who has been institutionalized several times since before I left the house
I have PTSD as a result from my upbringing from her
My father is in such severe denial that he doesn't remember solid years of my childhood, I had a RO on my entire immediate family b/c of how disfunctional they are.
I am a ED survivor
I have raging insomnia
I was engaged to a type one diabetic opioid addict who blew all his money on drugs and a new BM'r for himself
I've been on my own financially since I was 13
I worked since I was 13
I've worked 7 days a week for more than 4 years of my life to keep my self afloat
I had to cook, clean and take care fo the house while my mother left me and my younger sister alone from as early as age 4
I managed to work a job, 3-sport in high school and, get an academic/athletic scholarship to college despite all of these things and more (if these weren't horrifying enough)
So, sorry to hear that your mother bought the Entenmenn's donuts again, it like, must be a total bummer and like totes stresses you out, like for real.
You're mother's choices are not yours. It's her house, not yours and you can change your situation.
Welcome to the internet sweetie. Enjoy yourself.0 -
So, your poor mom is living with an drunk husband... a heroin addict son.... has mental problems of her own.... and now her daughter (who is living there rent free and eating her food) wants to tell her what foods she can/can't bring in to her own house?
Cut your mom some slack and if she wants to buy it, leave her alone.0 -
So what's your point?
Mine is that I'm trying to get things in my life on order so i can move out. Are you looking for sympathy?0 -
So, your poor mom is living with an drunk husband... a heroin addict son.... has mental problems of her own.... and now her daughter (who is living there rent free and eating her food) wants to tell her what foods she can/can't bring in to her own house?
Cut your mom some slack and if she wants to buy it, leave her alone.
I was never/am NEVER rude to my mother. Don't you dare try to imply that.0 -
Welcome to the internet sweetie. Enjoy yourself.
I love you.0 -
I don't think your mom is the problem here.0
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she just laughs and says "don't eat them"
I agree with your mom.
Sorry, I agree.
You are 21. Buy and eat your own food.0 -
she just laughs and says "don't eat them"
I agree with your mom.
I think this is the case. It doesn't matter where you are. With your parents, at work, out with friends. No matter where you go there's going to be some sort of temptation to eat something you shouldn't or to eat something good in excess. No one is putting the food in your mouth but you.
If you really want to show her up don't eat a single one. Let the stuff sit until it's nothing but mold and I bet she never buys it again. At this point she probably doesn't believe that you're serious. People around you don't get it until you show them and prove it to them. No one at my house bats an eye when they see me weighing cereal or counting out almonds. They know that's what I do and respect it. You have to earn that status so get out there and do it.
You're good. You've got this worked out cause you're the boss right? Show'em what you're made of.
Good heavens. the point was made that the mother knows she is the ONLY one who generally eats the particular foodstuff, so it is a case of real sabotage. Next time your mother buys it, take it and throw it in the trash bin. Or ask for the receipt so that you can bring it back to the grocery store. Either way, she'll figure out you mean business. Oh, and if you're a college graduate and have a job, move out.0 -
Welcome to the internet sweetie. Enjoy yourself.
I love you.
I love you too Sparky!0 -
Listen I have two kids and I have junk food in my house but I do not eat it. And yes my mother will come over and bring more junk but I do not eat it. I only eat gluten free stuff and she knows it. It is all about will power. My mother will sometimes call me and ask me I am at the grocery store do you want this and I will say no and she buys it anyway and you know what I take it back or tell her to eat it. And I do not live with my mom.
I agree, but I'll say, too. that the willpower thing gets easier the longer and true-er you stick to it. I keep a few treats in my house for my kids. I'm rarely tempted by them anymore. Every now and then I have a little chocolate, but it fits in my calorie and macro count. If you can be strict with yourself for several weeks, your tastes will change and it won't be as hard. I'm a Coke addict, and my husband drinks them every night and all weekend, It usually isn't even hard to avoid it now.
Good luck either way!0 -
If you're not going to read my recent posts and ask me the same crap over and over again, don't post. There's no way for any of you to understand my life or self without knowing me in person. I'm a caring, thoughtful person who tries to do good for herself and others. I have a mass amount of respect for my mother. More than anyone. I shouldn't have used the word 'scolded' because that is not what i did. I don't think i could have asked her in a nicer, more respectful way. Shouldn't have been too lazy to include the exact conversation, since everyone was jumping down my throat.
Good luck to all you people who need to work on their self esteem and for taking the anger they feel for themselves out on somebody they don't know a thing about.0 -
If your mom buys the groceries, she has the right to buy whatever she wants. Losing weight and being healthy takes willpower and commitment, not by someone limiting your options.0
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Team KarenJean 4ever!
The rest of you are absolute trash. Get over yourselves. None of you is perfect. Everyone's got their personal **** to deal with. And if berating someone on the internet makes you feel powerful, then you've got more problems than a 21 year old trying to figure out her life. GTFO.
Thank you for supporting me through this mess. Was not expecting all this hate. Worded my post in a bad tone i guess and people freak out0 -
People on here can be so dumb sometimes ugh. People, if you were so perfect you wouldn't be here!!!
ANYWAY
I can COMPLETELY understand what the OP is saying!! I have it the SAME WAY. I'm a broke college student and there is NO WAY I can afford to move out right now. My Mom does the same thing to me! She will bring home a plate of brownies from work. Not one for herself but A WHOLE PLATE. Then she'll say "Well, you don't have to eat them." Seriously? Who the hell is not going to take a delicious fudge covered brownie from a plate that is sitting 2 feet away from them? That's like telling an alcoholic to go to an open bar and not drink anything lol I think the problem is that our Moms think our bodies are perfect already so they figure we're just being too hard on ourselves and we can afford to eat it lol. Yes, I suppose we need to work on our will power but I think that's normal. I'm not sure why people felt the need to be so rude about it.0 -
I live with the parents until I save to move out. I also buy most of my own food (my parents still munch on mine though lol) and my mother will often buy pies, etc, for my dad and cakes for the fridge. She rarely eats desserts but I have a major sweet tooth so just work it into my cals occasionally. Just learn to say no.
Every single time I visit my nan she'll offer me meat/pasties/sausage rolls/whatever even though I've been pescetarian for almost a year. I just laugh it off and say "no thanks"0 -
*THIS* <end thread>You are going to have to learn to control yourself at some time or another. Unless your mom is holding you down and forcing you to eat this stuff, you do control whether or not you eat them. Personally I don't do well with deprivation...If there is something 'naughty' in the house and I want to eat it, I will. I just have a serving though. Maybe try that? Just having a little bit. Once you know you can 'always' have something, it loses it's grip on your mind so to speak.0 -
You know what, just do what you feel. I see your POV in a way but also hope that your mum gets some appreciation for doing your shopping for you.0
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My husband hates pies. Has never eaten them. His mother still thinks he loves pies and brings a slice on a plate to him whenever we are over. He reminds her, she is shocked like she never knew this before, the world revolves.0
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Has the OP moved out yet?0
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Has the OP moved out yet?
*snicker*0
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