Dumbest thing you've heard this week

1235

Replies

  • plcowner
    plcowner Posts: 106 Member
    I work for the government so I have several candidates lol
  • 007bondage
    007bondage Posts: 631 Member
    Overheard four Teenagers playing Trivial Pursuits with Mum:

    "This is General Knowledge, it's just a bunch of random questions"

    :drinker:
  • libbymcbain
    libbymcbain Posts: 206 Member
    That banning guns will solve crime.

    Won't solve crime. Will mean less people get shot.

    US: 10.2 deaths by shooting per 100,000 population (2012)
    UK: 0.25 deaths by shooting per 100,000 population (2012)
  • wondergirl1003
    wondergirl1003 Posts: 138 Member
    How has no one quoted the fart in the mouth comment yet? (And I'm pretty sure I know a couple of dudes who could prove you wrong.)
  • piggydog
    piggydog Posts: 322
    "I just can't believe you can take a seed out of a peach and grow another peach from it"


    *bands head on wall*
  • nickyfm
    nickyfm Posts: 1,214 Member
    "It's better for you to exercise on an empty stomach".

    Oh mum... :(. I thought I raised you better than that!!
  • CaptainMilda
    CaptainMilda Posts: 127 Member
    "If you show that you know more then you're suppose to, you'll fail the upcoming exam!"
  • SteveJWatson
    SteveJWatson Posts: 1,225 Member
    Me: we need to put the rams (male sheep - for those who don't know) in this pen and separate the ewes (female sheep) into that one...
    My helper (a full grown man who has had kids): How will we tell which is which?

    REALLY?
  • dovetail22uk
    dovetail22uk Posts: 339 Member
    That banning guns will solve crime.

    Won't solve crime. Will mean less people get shot.

    US: 10.2 deaths by shooting per 100,000 population (2012)
    UK: 0.25 deaths by shooting per 100,000 population (2012)

    You are awesome. Finally some sense!
  • Iron_Duchess
    Iron_Duchess Posts: 429 Member
    Coworker: “I’ve been trying to get pregnant for the last six months, but since it’s not happening I will go back to the pill”

    Me: Ok…… why would you go back to the pill if you can’t get pregnant anyways? I thought the purpose of the “pill” is to prevent pregnancies?
  • bdamaster60
    bdamaster60 Posts: 595 Member
    eat every 2 - 3 hours or you're going to lose all your muscle... :laugh:
  • bdamaster60
    bdamaster60 Posts: 595 Member
    "It's better for you to exercise on an empty stomach".

    Oh mum... :(. I thought I raised you better than that!!
    well there is some truth to that. About 2 hours from when you wake up cortisol levels are at their highest, which within that 2 hours is the perfect time for LISS cardio. Ingest anything with enough calories, and you will kill your cortisol levels with an insulin spike.
  • dovetail22uk
    dovetail22uk Posts: 339 Member
    "I can't cook"
  • the_journeyman
    the_journeyman Posts: 1,877 Member
    Do you know how fast you were going?

    JM
  • HappyNinjaStar
    HappyNinjaStar Posts: 353 Member
    Milk will make me fat

    haha, I saw that thread yesterday and I just sat with my popcorn....

    from a client with big fancy degrees - "You're grammar is atrocious"..... okay.....
  • SageGoddess320
    SageGoddess320 Posts: 2,589 Member
    My boss had to open an envelope and re-seal it. She actually said, "what should I tape this back up with?"

    ummm. Tape. :noway:
  • gkwatra
    gkwatra Posts: 431 Member
    Said by an elderly woman to me a few years ago when I told her that I like to run - "Running is bad for your female organs. Your uterus could fall out and you'll bleed to death." :noway:
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,252 Member
    HCG really works I lost a bunch of weight the last time :grumble: By a close friend.

    I staged an intervention....... SO now I'm writing her out a meal and excersize plan
  • MelyndaWaldner
    MelyndaWaldner Posts: 442 Member
    Co-worker: Hey Melynda, you have tattoos right
    ME: Yup
    Co-worker: question, I am getting one on Thursday and am going to rave on Sunday, do you think it will rub off if I get to sweaty
    ME: ummmm its not drawn on with a marker...
  • KittyViolet
    KittyViolet Posts: 220 Member
    Co-worker: Hey Melynda, you have tattoos right
    ME: Yup
    Co-worker: question, I am getting one on Thursday and am going to rave on Sunday, do you think it will rub off if I get to sweaty
    ME: ummmm its not drawn on with a marker...

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I can just picture how THAT appointment is going to unfold. "$200?! But I used to get free ones out of my cereal boxes! Wait, you're going to do WHAT with those needles?!"
  • davidpearly
    davidpearly Posts: 177 Member
    "People don't kill people, guns kill people!"

    My response - "So the gun pulled it's own trigger??"

    "No someone pulled it, but the gun is what killed him"

    Me- wooow.

    this ^^^
    I mean if guns killed people how does anyone get out of a gun show alive.
  • davidpearly
    davidpearly Posts: 177 Member
    Guy in my addictive behaviors class

    me: we see addicts every day, look at the millions of people that smoke
    him: just because you smoke doesn't mean your an addict
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    "Oh, so you're from Rome?"
    After i told someone that my first language is Romanian.
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 992 Member
    "If you're counting calories, you've got an eating disorder"
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    can i just copy and paste the facebook posts of a person i am only friends with because of a familial connection?
  • BabyCinnamon
    BabyCinnamon Posts: 4
    On my tour of the gym, "That's the free weights area, you won't be wanting that."
    You know, being a girl and all.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    On my tour of the gym, "That's the free weights area, you won't be wanting that."
    You know, being a girl and all.

    you should have said "free weights? cool." picked up a couple and left. they are free after all.
  • MochaMixAZ
    MochaMixAZ Posts: 844 Member
    Oh, heard today!!!

    "You track your steps?? How do you keep count?"

    <grins> Okay, maybe not totally dumb if you haven't been exposed to pedometers. But just struck me as funny. Of course, this was also followed by, "So, when you reach 10,000 steps, what happens?"
  • Musikelektronik
    Musikelektronik Posts: 739 Member
    haha cmon just because i think its a possibility makes me and her BF bad people?? especially since obama is about to do an executive order to bypass congress and do the sh-t himself??? with only the support of more americans now because of the mass shooting of children??? the govt wants to disarm americans... period.

    and the only way to do that is with great backing of the american population.. how do you get that with the second ammendment in place? by having innocent children die... and creating fear amongst americans.. its a definate possibility the govt could have enabled this to happen especially with the communist type government we are turning into...

    not saying it did.. but im just sayinn.

    Seek psychiatric help. Immediately.

    i know ur liberal.. why not be tollerant of my viewpoints??

    Actually, I'm not liberal at all. Look, I was in the military. I've been trained to kill people with firearms. I think every sane American should have the right to own one. In fact, the Second Amendment guarantees us that right. But that doesn't make me a conspiracy theorist who would believe anything as moronic as what you've said about the Sandy Hook shootings. Sorry, that's just crazy-town.
  • srcardinal10
    srcardinal10 Posts: 387 Member
    that the Sandy Hook school shootings is some kind of government conspiracy.

    part of me thought that it may actually be true.

    My bf is one of those ppl...I'm not kidding either.

    just break up with him.

    haha cmon just because i think its a possibility makes me and her BF bad people?? especially since obama is about to do an executive order to bypass congress and do the sh-t himself??? with only the support of more americans now because of the mass shooting of children??? the govt wants to disarm americans... period.

    and the only way to do that is with great backing of the american population.. how do you get that with the second ammendment in place? by having innocent children die... and creating fear amongst americans.. its a definate possibility the govt could have enabled this to happen especially with the communist type government we are turning into...

    not saying it did.. but im just sayinn.

    And that's what he thinks too. He also believes that they're doing it so that the orgs such as the UN can come and take over because we will have completely lost control since the US practically runs the UN, IMF, etc. Yup. That's my Dave.

    hey... my names dave.. 0.o

    LOL. Small world!

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