Any spouses with separate bedrooms?

MdmAcolyte

Sounds odd to some, I know, but I am considering proposing this to my husband. He travels a lot and when he's home, we have the hardest time being able to sleep together. Literally. We have a healthy relationship, etc., and for the most part, he's already got his own "separate" bedroom where he gets dressed in the morning so he won't wake me up, AND he's slept in there a few times already since our "readjustment" period takes a toll on both of us.

Just wondering if that's worked for anyone else ~ and hear any pros and cons.

johnny059qn

My grandparents had seperate bedrooms as they got older for many of the same reasons. Mostly not waking the other getting up to go to the bathroom and snoring issues. My wife and I sleep on a king size matress. Most of the time I don't even know she's there.

shellma00

My husband travels with his work also and is only home on weekends. We have such a hard time sleeping together because we are used to sleeping alone. He snores very loudly and keeps me up most nights when he is home. He does sleep on the couch more than with me because he does not want to keep me up all night with his snoring. I dont necessarily like it, but I am so used to sleeping alone that I get very aggravated at the snoring. I dont know what the answer is, but I am sure it works for some people.

spade117

I think it is weird and I wouldn't do it, but if it works...

Chief_Rocka

Could make for some interesting role play

k8blujay2

My husband and I do... He doesn't travel often any more... but he doesn't like the mattress in our room... so he is sleeping in the guest bedroom for now until we get a new mattress...

MdmAcolyte

Snoring is another factor. Good lord, that man can shake the windows! I've read its starting to trend having "separate spouse spaces" and I really don't think it would hurt our marriage. Half of the time I go to bed before he does and he gets up before me anyway, so really, its not like we are "spending time together".

thnksfrthmmrs

More often than not, my Boyfriend has to fall asleep on the sofa watching tv. He cant fall asleep with silence. So i often go to bed when im tired and leave him on the sofa. When he wakes up from falling he asleep he then comes to bed.

It's a weird set up but it works for us.


If you're both happy with the set up and have a good relationship then that's all that matters =]

neverstray

I think it makes sense on a lot of fronts. Especially if you have really different schedules. I would be careful though that your marriage doesn't turn into just being roommates. You might have to take special care for that not to happen. But, I do see hat as reasonable. I mean, you're just sleeping. No big deal.

LoraF83

My husband works nights and mostly sticks to that schedule even on his days off - unless we have something planned that requires him to be up during the day.

We only sleep together about 1-2 times a month. Honestly, I love having the bed to myself. Neither of us sleep well when we are together. It hasn't affected our relationship in the least.

To each their own.

ekkand

I cant even imagine not sleeping with my husband when he is home. He is deployed right now and I hate being without him. Even when he is home he wakes up way earlier than me but I like to wake up and get him coffee and say goodbye before he leaves for work. Sleeping in separate bedrooms seems like crazy talk to me.

JUDDDing

My wife threatened to a few times before I got a CPAP.

FitBeto

JBU

fishgutzy

My husband travels with his work also and is only home on weekends. We have such a hard time sleeping together because we are used to sleeping alone. He snores very loudly and keeps me up most nights when he is home. He does sleep on the couch more than with me because he does not want to keep me up all night with his snoring. I dont necessarily like it, but I am so used to sleeping alone that I get very aggravated at the snoring. I dont know what the answer is, but I am sure it works for some people.

I used to snore so badly that my wife would sometimes go to another room. One night she watched me as I snored and she noticed that would stop breathing for long periods.
I went to a sleep specialist and had a sleep study done. Turned out I had sever sleep apnea. I stopped breathing, for 10 seconds or more, 75 times in an hour.
I now use a CPAP and don't snore anymore. My wife and I both sleep better. The only time she has a hard time sleeping is the rare occasions when I travel.

pawnstarNate

Is the doghouse considered a separate bedroom? Had to sleep there on a few occasions

nashsheri33

oh, HELL yes. i love having my own bedroom. he didn't like this idea at first, but he snored so badly it kept me awake. (he had sleep apnea.) and he's one of those people who has very physical dreams.
he has:
played basketball with my head
typed on my stomach
gone cow tipping in his dream and after the cow was tipped, he kicked it ( i was the cow)
fought ninjas at mcdonalds because they were trying to kidnap our daughter
dreamed about being attacked by hundreds of lizards, leaping out of bed flailing his arms and legs while screaming like a 6-year-old girl
gone bug-huntin' with his fists
killed MILLIONS of 'bad guys' and therefore saved my life over and over again
and the list goes on and on...and i usually end up on the receiving end of the physicality and it's not a good way to be waked up. trust me on this.

also, we have different 'bediquette'. he likes a warm room, light blanket. i like the temp set on arctic tundra with lots of blankets. i like dark and quiet, he can sleep whenever, wherever. he likes to sleep with the dog. i say, 'no thank you'.

there's no 'right' way to do it. you can have separate beds if you want, and if you don't like it, then sleep in the same bed. one bed could be for sleeping, and one for NOT sleeping.

McChubbyruewho

I think it depends on the couple, if you guys are still really intement then yes that would be fine, my great grandmother and Greanfather, loved each other very much, but she couldn't stand the smell of smoke on his clothes so they had seperate room for years, she still cooked from him and they went to church toghter, but when it was night night time,

my hubsand and I have at many times worked defferent schedules, so while he was sleeping I was at work and vise versa, so that was pretty much having defferent rooms, I feel lonley not having him there to kiss randomlly at night, so its not for me or him cause he would sometimes make me lay there with him while he slept and I was seaching the internet on my phone lol, but as long as you are both intament then it will work out

no one relastionship is the same

McChubbyruewho

oh, HELL yes. i love having my own bedroom. he didn't like this idea at first, but he snored so badly it kept me awake. (he had sleep apnea.) and he's one of those people who has very physical dreams.
he has:
played basketball with my head
typed on my stomach
gone cow tipping in his dream and after the cow was tipped, he kicked it ( i was the cow)
fought ninjas at mcdonalds because they were trying to kidnap our daughter
dreamed about being attacked by hundreds of lizards, leaping out of bed flailing his arms and legs while screaming like a 6-year-old girl
gone bug-huntin' with his fists
killed MILLIONS of 'bad guys' and therefore saved my life over and over again
and the list goes on and on...and i usually end up on the receiving end of the physicality and it's not a good way to be waked up. trust me on this.

also, we have different 'bediquette'. he likes a warm room, light blanket. i like the temp set on arctic tundra with lots of blankets. i like dark and quiet, he can sleep whenever, wherever. he likes to sleep with the dog. i say, 'no thank you'.

there's no 'right' way to do it. you can have separate beds if you want, and if you don't like it, then sleep in the same bed. one bed could be for sleeping, and one for NOT sleeping.

hahaha I feel like you both should be a sitecom lol because of his sleeping antics lol

ldesaus

CPAP your snorers, spouses and SOs! Mine used to be absolutely terrifying until he lost some weight (helped a lot) and got a CPAP (eliminated). They're not comfortable and it's definitely an adjustment, but from what I understand, snoring is usually indicative of more severe problems (as others have mentioned), and it's worth the piece of mind.

jamers3111

My parents had separate sleeping arrangements because of his snoring. They ended up more like roommates than husband/wife... then my dad started cheating... then they got divored. Just a thought.

Fairysoul

I cannot sleep without my husband when he snores I make him roll over and he stops. But my grandparents do have seperate rooms, for the snoring factor.