Any spouses with separate bedrooms?

Ghostpoo

We have separate rooms for sleeping. My hubby is a very loud snorer and he used to think I didn't want to sleep with him. He thought I was being overly sensitive and too light of a sleeper. We went camping two summers ago and some people came to talk to us in the morning and casually mentioned the snoring that wouldn't allow them to sleep. And they were about five sites away, across the street. Over the past two years, overnight guests have started to also comment on the snoring. He finally had to admit that maybe he has an issue.

He was tested for sleep apnea and it turns out it is severe. He got a CPAC machine, which works like a charm. However, he doesn't wear it often. He is having a hard time getting used to it and doesn't want to keep me awake. I suggested that he get used to it in the spare bedroom and then move back in our room when he does.

cubbies77

I cant even imagine not sleeping with my husband when he is home. He is deployed right now and I hate being without him. Even when he is home he wakes up way earlier than me but I like to wake up and get him coffee and say goodbye before he leaves for work. Sleeping in separate bedrooms seems like crazy talk to me.

Exactly how it is at my house. We've been married for over 10 years and he has deployed so many times during our marriage that when he is at home, we cherish the moments we get together. I love laying close to him and hearing his heart beat (makes me so grateful that he came home safely) and although he gets up earlier than me in the mornings, we don't leave the house without kissing each other goodbye and telling each other "I love You". I know this sounds mushy but life is short and you don't know how much time you might have together!

I understand that, and it was like that when we were 1400 miles apart for months at a time, but I find it impossible to work when I wake up every hour to his snoring, sometimes taking an hour to fall back asleep. It was affecting my health, my work, and my stress levels. It also affected our relationship.

So, in our case, it was better all the way around to sleep in separate rooms. Did we like it? Heck no. Was it necessary? Heck yes. I was getting less sleep (and no quality sleep, at that) than most new mothers. It was crazy.

cloza12

Nope. My husband snores but even then I love cuddling with him. Separate bedrooms to me is strange.

smeklc

bump

rml_16

Sounds odd to some, I know, but I am considering proposing this to my husband. He travels a lot and when he's home, we have the hardest time being able to sleep together. Literally. We have a healthy relationship, etc., and for the most part, he's already got his own "separate" bedroom where he gets dressed in the morning so he won't wake me up, AND he's slept in there a few times already since our "readjustment" period takes a toll on both of us.

Just wondering if that's worked for anyone else ~ and hear any pros and cons.

After eight years, I've gotten very used to sleeping with the BF and I have a tough time when he isn't there. BUT ... he snores. Not every night, but the nights he does, it's awful and I end up on the couch. So, I can see the benefit!

I do have a friend who sleeps in a different room from her husband and has since they got married. It works for them just fine.

MsNewBooty83

me too! lol. im just exhausted by the time he goes back to work. sometimes he'll take the couch just so we can both sleep. we have a queen size bed, i think if we had a king it would make a big diference, and separate comforters lol.

sally414

Hey, if sleeping in separate bedrooms works for you and you are in a happy, healthy marriage - more power to you IMO.

I wouldn't mind a few nights a week to sleep on my own, but honestly most nights I don't even notice my hubby is there. We stay on our same sides and he doesn't snore (and I don't think I do!).

SquidgySquidge

I would love a seperate bedroom to my husband! Lol, that's no reflection on him but I just love having the bed to myself!
I can have all the duvet, stretch out as much as I like - and also theres no one to moan when the cats want to get in for a snuggle, bliss!

I think that in your situation it would make sence to sleep seperately, there's nothing worse than bad sleep so if you think it will work, go for it

Roni_M

I'm kind of surprised by how many of you there are that sleep in separate rooms. I have no opinion on it... Whatever works for you guys!

First off... I am 40 & he is 41 years old and we have been married for 20 years (together for 24). So we are pretty "used" to each other (kind of grew up together). I think this bears weight in the equation because we went from sleeping in our childhood single beds to sleeping together... so we don't know any different! If he is away for the night I don't sleep at all. Luckily that doesn't happen very often. LOL

Hubby and I sleep together every night (we generally watch TV in bed together for an hour or two before going to sleep). I used to snore but have stopped since dropping weight (he never seemed that bothered by it but has mentioned it after I stopped). Hubby snores occasionally, but generally a poke will get him to stop. He's a bit of a blanket hog but likes the bedroom cool, so I have my own little electric blanket to cuddle up in if I'm cold. Or I just wiggle my butt over against him (he's like a furnace when he sleeps!

Now the part that drives me nuts is that he tosses and turns ALOT! (it's really really bad if he's been drinking!). He is 6'4" and about 240lbs so not little by any means. So sometimes I would get an elbow to the side or a leg thrown over top of me. The perfect solution? Upgraded to a king size memory foam mattress! Now he has his space, I have mine and we can still be together. For us this was the best decision. I don't feel him tossing & turning (and I no longer get elbowed).

chulie

I do find this VERY fascinating how many people sleep in separate rooms!!! Interesting!! Great topic!

DH and I do not sleep in separate beds..just our room......there was a small window when I was VERY pregnant and apparently snored so loud...he would get zero sleep so he would come to bed and cuddle me to sleep and then leave and sleep in the spare room..Which is funny cause HE is totally the "snore"er...but I'm so used to it that it doesn't bother me at all....other than that...I HAVE to sleep with him because he's a human furnace and I'm a human icecube so I need him to warm me up hahaha...I would maybe just...like others said make sure you don't become roomates because it could be a slippery slope....but as long as your aware and it works...good luck!

I have strict sleeping rules....we NEVER go bed angry(even if we're up until 2 am)...no tv in the bedroom and no kids allowed in our bed..hahahahaa.....He grew up sleeping with the tv on and passing out on the couch...so..he fought me at first but now he's so much more well rested...he knows I was right! hahaha...

cubbies77

We ended up getting a king bed, and it really does help a lot. It's like having separate beds when we need space (or I need to roll the covers over my ears to block out the snoring), but we can also cuddle if we want to. We have separate blankets since he tosses and turns and rolls up like a tortilla, and that helps a lot too.

But like I said, on the nights his snoring wakes me up every 30-45 minutes and keeps me up for an hour at a time, I just give up and go into the spare bedroom. I see no reason to lose sleep, especially when it means I'll be angry the next day.

Roni_M

The tortilla thing I completely get! LOL

If one of us snored loud enough to be really disturbing to the other from getting quality sleep, we may of ended up in separate beds too. The tossing was creating a problem because I have psoriatic arthritis and when you're being inadvertently pummeled through the night or have a leg thrown over you pinning you down, it made for some very rough mornings. I was happy upgrading to a king size resolved all of our sleep issues.

We have no issues with a TV in the bedroom. Our daughters are grown now (19 & 23) but our bedroom was always a "kid free" zone. If they wanted something in the middle of the night they knew to knock and wait until someone told them to come in. I couldn't of done the co-sleeping thing.... guess I didn't like my kids that much! LOL