Couples- separate or combined finances?

Mutant13

Talking about this with my s/o today and thought it would be interesting to discuss on here. We have some couple friends who completely combine their finances and then end up arguing over who spent what on beer/shoes etc. My s/o and I have pretty much decided to keep our finances (even once we have a mortgage/kids etc) separate, splitting our expenses down the middle and then what we do with the rest of our $ is our own business.

I feel like it works for us. I think sharing a bank account is pretty antiquated and can be risky if a relationship goes sour, and I like having the freedom to spend what I please on my clothes/treats/death ray parts.

What's your opinion on the subject?

Alex_Wilken

Combined, pay off all expenses and a bit for savings and then divide equally if both parties are responsible enough to work with money.

sgtrowley

Splitting bank accounts gonna be tough when paying for Mortgage...car payments... etc...can turn into arguments... Than... who claims taxes... whole other arguyment....

dave4d

My wife, and I have our separate accounts, and a joint account. We both transfer money into the joint account to pay the bills, then use our separate accounts to buy our own "wants, or needs".

It works wonderfully, for us.

When I was married to my ex, we fought over money all the time, and sharing the one account for everything was too hard to keep track of what we had. We were constantly out of money, and over-drafting.

neverstray

Financially, it's stupid. You get more leverage combining.

But, personally, I will never mix my accounts again. Split the bills, and keep the rest. That way, if you make more, you get more toys, clothes, and fun than your SO. That's how it goes.

lustingforfitness

My wife, and I have our separate accounts, and a joint account. We both transfer money into the joint account to pay the bills, then use our separate accounts to buy our own "wants, or needs".

It works wonderfully, for us.

^This is what I plan to do in the future as well! Like others have said, having at least one joint account makes bill paying easier but that doesn't mean you have to combine all your money!

dan_IRL

My wife and I each have our own separate accounts and one joint account. We pay our bills and joint stuff like dining out, entertainment, groceries, savings, from our joint account. And our solo accounts are for our own pleasure and/or bills.

I make considerably more than her, so we came up with a percentage that both kick in to the joint account. That way we both feel we are paying our fair share.

paulaviki

My wife, and I have our separate accounts, and a joint account. We both transfer money into the joint account to pay the bills, then use our separate accounts to buy our own "wants, or needs".

It works wonderfully, for us.

Me and my husband do exactly the same. As long as all our joint expenses like rent and bills are taken care of then what's left is our own to spend as we see fit. I think it's important to be able to spend some of the money you earn without having to feel like you have to ask permission from the other person.

sxci8

Both, like others have said. Decide on a percentage of both incomes that goes into the joint a/c, and keep the rest separate.

dgirllamius

We have our own separate accounts and no joint account. My OH pays for the rent, electric and internet. I pay for food, the car and buying things for our daughter. we pay for own bills like mobile phone etc.

sgtrowley

Split incomes... joint accounts.. all great tell real life happens... Wife gets Pregnant... stops working... now down to one income... It happens....

CherokeeBabe

I've done both in the past, separate is easier for me personally. I'm good with money but no one I've been with seems to be as responsible unfortunately.

SaLandrum

My husband and I have a joint account - we know what money is there, we budget for the things we want/need and it is as simple as that ...... (we have been married 13 years )

DawnieB1977

We've got a joint account which we use for our mortgage and electric/gas bills, council tax, nursery fees for the kids etc but use our separate accounts for everything else.

The child benefit gets paid into my own account (for those who are not British, everyone with kids gets child benefit over here, it's not means tested unless one of you earns over £50K a year) and I buy all the nappies and things like that for the kids.

Faye_Anderson

We've been married for 10 years and have a joint account, both wages are paid into the bank and all the bills are paid by direct debit, it's easier.

Car0lynnM

My husband and I keep everything separate. It's always been pretty easy to split the bills up. We try to keep things even, and as my salary has reached the same level as his, we are pretty evenly split on the bills. It's a little frustrating sometimes, not knowing what he has on hand when he complains about paying for dinner, but we never have blow ups about it. I usually just remind him that I buy all the groceries and we hardly ever eat out any more. It makes no difference when it comes to taxes.
I think even if you combine things, it's a good idea to each keep your own account and a credit card. If there is a split, then you at least have some history in your name.

coffee_rocks

One family, one marriage, one bank account.

We have done it this way since we got married. When we first were married, we both worked, and all the money went into one account. We had discussions about what to spend money on, but never arguments. There are no "wants" that one of us has above the common good of our family.

For the past 12 years, since our son was born, my wife has not worked outside the home, and we still have one bank account. I contribute 100% of the household money because I have the salaried job, but I have never thought of the money as mine. It is ours. And we still don't argue about money.

Call me old-fashioned, but I have problems with statements such as "we each contribute an equal amount to a joint account to pay the bills, and whatever is left is mine to spend on my toys". I had a co-worker that was heading south for a winter vacation. I asked if her husband was going, and she said "no, he didn't have enough money to pay for his half, so I'm going with some other friends". Didn't get it then, don't get it now.

Laddiegirl

With my late-fiance we had a joint account where we deposited our part of rent & bills and a joint savings that we had auto transfers of a small amount each paycheck (I think $50?) which we used for date nights and anniversary dinners, things like that. The rest of our paychecks we kept in our own accounts and paid our own bills (student loans, cellphones) and had our own spending money to manage. It worked great and thats how I plan to do it if/when I live with/marry someone in the future since it worked so well.

I think these days since most households are two income and money is such a sensative subject and tied to independance for so many people that all of it lumped together doesn't work like it did in the past for our grandparents & parents generation.

cuterbee

We split finances. In my first marriage, I didn't, and that husband insisted on handling all the money. That was completely terrible; unknown to me, he'd been spending money like crazy, and had even taken out credit cards in my name after he couldn't get any more. I think he spent us more than $100K in debt (I took on a fifth of that to get other things I wanted in the divorce settlement, like the ability to move out of state with the kids, which turned out to have been a very good idea) plus we had a mortgage and both cars were financed.

Although I trust my new husband in everything else, I can't head into retirement feeling unsecure about money. So I handle mine, he takes care of his, and we split the household bills.

wjewell

My fiance is on my account, and I am on his account so if anything happens we have access to one anothers account and can manage what needs to be done. We also have a joint account that we use only for bills. Each month we transfer money for mortgage, car payments, insurance, electricity, Uverse, phones...etc. We never have a problem paying bills. I don't care what he does with his money and he doesn't care what I do with mine, as long as all of our bills are paid on time. We have plenty of money saved on the side as well. I personally feel as though (since he makes double what I make) if we just combined alllll of our money we'd constantly be asking each other why we spent so much on whatever. This system works best for us. We talked about combining it all when we get married (because if all goes well with my hopefully new job I'll be making the same as him) but we feel like how we have it works best.

pwittek10

We have been married 30 years next month, we were married 20 years before
we had a joint account!
We both earned good income, we split the house payment
had our own cars and credit and have never had a fight over money!
It totally worked for us.