My wife is trying to kill me

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  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
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    You're okay, bro - calories in < calories out isn't the path to permanent weight loss. A dude on MFP told me so.

    Just make sure she didn't put any sugar on it, 'cause well, you know.......

    Did you read the post?! She tried to give the man a banana!!!! Those things are FULL of sugar! He's doomed... I know because I saw something like this once on Dr. Oz.
    Well yeah, there is that matter of the banana - I was so engrossed in the burger that I forgot all about the banana. You know, I see pictures of bananas all the time on that ad that pops up for "5 Things You Should Never Eat". Probably not good. Maybe it'll be OK if he does a cleanse and drinks a shakeology to offset it. A beachbooty salesman told me that stuff is teh majickz and he calls himself a 'Coach', so it must be true.

    You should hook him up. Sounds like he needs teh majickz coach.
  • TropicalFlowerz
    TropicalFlowerz Posts: 1,990 Member
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    shes trying!....just wrk out a little harder or tell her your full after half!
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
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    Umm, starvation mode is a myth. I've been eating exactly 52 calories/day for the last two weeks and lost 31 lbs. You might want to start watching more Dr. Oz.

    If OP's wife did that, she may have fed him raspberry ketones along with that burger, and then he'd be stuck in a plateau, because the RK would be cancelling out the starvation mode.

    So, Dr. Oz is part of a conspiracy against him?!? OMG, MY VIEW OF REALITY HAS BEEN CHANGED!! This is uncomfortable!!
  • sam5412
    sam5412 Posts: 3
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    Wow!!!!!!!!!! this is really funny!:drinker:
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    So, Dr. Oz is part of a conspiracy against him?!? OMG, MY VIEW OF REALITY HAS BEEN CHANGED!! This is uncomfortable!!

    You should go see Dr. Phil. The doctors that talk to you on TV care the most.
  • jeremyw1977
    jeremyw1977 Posts: 505 Member
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    My good man, I look at this picture and all I can see is LOVE.
    If you call this "trying to kill me"...........oh, what a way to go.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
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    So, Dr. Oz is part of a conspiracy against him?!? OMG, MY VIEW OF REALITY HAS BEEN CHANGED!! This is uncomfortable!!

    You should go see Dr. Phil. The doctors that talk to you on TV care the most.

    OMG, you're so right! So, do I need a referral to see the Doctor? I mean, he is THE Doctor.
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,344 Member
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    Eat a bunch of negative calorie foods and it'll cancel all that stuff out. Check the boards - there's a bunch of threads where people have posted all the negative calorie foods. A few apples, some blueberries, a bit of pineapple and some celery oughta do the trick. Get to it now.
  • just4nessa
    just4nessa Posts: 459 Member
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    Coffee ..brewed with green coffee beans

    Enema

    STAT


    Is a French press okay and how hot?

    French press is fine, 196 F, as long as you log it as water.
  • redladywitch
    redladywitch Posts: 799 Member
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    Wait. Wait. Dear God. Do you have life insurance? I mean if she's trying to kill you, I figure you must have a *nice* insurance policy ... or you might be a turd. Either way...enjoy the burger man. :laugh:
  • Synapze
    Synapze Posts: 499
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    Dayum! Im taking the wife if she makes Burgers like that! lmao jk. :laugh:
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    So, Dr. Oz is part of a conspiracy against him?!? OMG, MY VIEW OF REALITY HAS BEEN CHANGED!! This is uncomfortable!!

    You should go see Dr. Phil. The doctors that talk to you on TV care the most.

    OMG, you're so right! So, do I need a referral to see the Doctor? I mean, he is THE Doctor.

    Does one ever really see the Doctor so much as vicariously bask in his glory?
  • RunnerInVT
    RunnerInVT Posts: 226 Member
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    Most guys and women I know who want to eat different than the rest of the family make their own food. Doesn't she have anything better to do than to figure out what you want? You do it. It's your body. If you don't like what she makes, go to the store yourself.
    Sorry, it's just I am the opposite. I eat a ton of veggies and fruit and put it out. If the family doesn't like it, there's the fridge...get it yourself. Maybe if you give her the tools if you don't want to do the cooking...or you could cook together...Buy her a nutrition book, but don't expect her to do all the work. She's not a mind reader. :)
  • marathon64
    marathon64 Posts: 378 Member
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    I'm pretty sure I would croak if I ate that...

    but to you I bet that would be a big plate 'o love
  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
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    I don't even eat red meat and that looks fantastic
  • Doodlewhopper
    Doodlewhopper Posts: 1,018 Member
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    Most guys and women I know who want to eat different than the rest of the family make their own food. Doesn't she have anything better to do than to figure out what you want? You do it. It's your body. If you don't like what she makes, go to the store yourself.
    Sorry, it's just I am the opposite. I eat a ton of veggies and fruit and put it out. If the family doesn't like it, there's the fridge...get it yourself. Maybe if you give her the tools if you don't want to do the cooking...or you could cook together...Buy her a nutrition book, but don't expect her to do all the work. She's not a mind reader. :)

    This has been a fun thread. Cmon on, enjoy it for what it's worth.
  • Rayman79
    Rayman79 Posts: 2,009 Member
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    Most guys and women I know who want to eat different than the rest of the family make their own food. Doesn't she have anything better to do than to figure out what you want? You do it. It's your body. If you don't like what she makes, go to the store yourself.
    Sorry, it's just I am the opposite. I eat a ton of veggies and fruit and put it out. If the family doesn't like it, there's the fridge...get it yourself. Maybe if you give her the tools if you don't want to do the cooking...or you could cook together...Buy her a nutrition book, but don't expect her to do all the work. She's not a mind reader. :)

    Your incredible powers of perception give me renewed hope for the future of the human race! :huh:
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
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    be grateful your wife even cooks you stuff like that.... YUM..... some woman dont cook anything for their men....
  • andyisandy
    andyisandy Posts: 433 Member
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    just come out like i did
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
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    also... there is a such thing as eating in moderation...... idk.... to me i would be soooo grateful if a man even tried cooking me something... your wife cooks to make the family happy... you should really just appreciate it and try to eat at least half.... idk.. in my eyes ur a lucky man... because seriously ALOT of woman dont even cook...

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