Observations on Body Shaming
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You better find some body to loooooove0
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Topless in a thong with inappropriate body hair protruding from what little she chose to wear is not pretty no matter what size a person is.
I agree. No one wants to see topless in a thong. Totally unattractive. Yuck. Eww. No way, Jose.
:noway:0 -
Thanks for a well balanced post all about common sense that doesn't seem to be common anymore. And I totally agree with the person who posted that what you say about others is a much bigger reflection on the sort of person YOU are. Not the person you are shaming, criticizing, or belittling with your choice of words.0
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ew, gross, and disgusting should not be used when describing a body type you may not prefer.
those words make me hissy.
Exactly.0 -
I have to agree with this. Body shaming of any body type is just wrong.I loved this post!
The only thing I would add is that I've seen a lot of body shaming for people with eating disorders on here. And while it is unhealthy and painful to look at bodies that are fairly emaciated, it is never anyone's right to pass judgement. Pro-anas can be frustrating to deal with, as eating disorders are complicated things and people will stubbornly stick to self-destructive patterns, but body shaming never helps.
Sorry if that's a little off topic.
OP, you are lovely. :flowerforyou:0 -
I understand what you're saying, but when somebody throws pictures out there, they should expect comments that run the gamut from good, bad, and indifferent.
When someone is down 50 pounds and has another 50 to go, people are all kind of supportive. The problem is how rough the comments are on pics of people who really have achieved their goals and have reached envy-enducing figures. That of course is the problem IMO, envy.
And yes, all my usual snark aside, body shaming is against the rules.
I wish everyone was supportive for progress posts but as I mentioned yesterday, there were a TON of people defending the very fit girl and accusing others of body shaming. A post a week or so ago came up with a girl who lad lost 30lbs or so and she posted pics of herself fin her underwear. She still had a ways to go but by now means was wearing plus sized clothes. I saw many people who cried 'body shaming' yesterday making comments on that girls post such as, "that was scary", "it was not pretty" or "I am scarred by her underwear pics".
The hypocrisy is what really p!sses me off.
If you're addressing the thread I think you are, it was an exception and yes she was barely wearing any clothes with the "oh snap" attitude like she had conquered world hunger. Clueless arrogance isn't attractive either
That whole thread was not about body shaming. It was about being shocked by someone topless in a thong, which is a clear violation of the TOS. Topless in a thong with inappropriate body hair protruding from what little she chose to wear is not pretty no matter what size a person is.
She would have gotten kudos in a bikini, in a jog bra, in yoga shorts, in larger underpants, etc. But that was exhibitionism. If I want to see that, I would go to Craigslist or some other place where that is considered fine.
And yes, I'm in a swimsuit. That's my whole point. And yeah, I have many areas on my body that I'm still ashamed of. But I'd never tell someone else to be ashamed of those areas.
Yet how many people bringing the underwear belonged to the 'Boobie Friday' group or have posted similar pics until the mods started cracking down on that hardcore? I know I have posted pics like that before and lest we not forget who all participated in the 'Snarky fat chics in bikinis thread'. Since some people have received warnings or strikes over pics like that it's ok to make crappy comments about that girl? Maybe she was new to the forums or had seem people posting similar pics, maybe she did it intentionally but I don't think that makes the comments ok. . Let the mods deal with the TOS violations.
Do I belong in a bikini? hell no, but I had confidence for the first time in years. I went from refusing to go out in public because I was so ashamed of my body to liking what I saw in the mirror and it was an incredible feeling.
ETA: I only saw one thread, and she was wearing a bra and nude colored underwear, but it was front facing so I never saw that it was a thong. IMO, it wasn't a bad pic, even if it was against TOS.0 -
Yet how many people bringing the underwear belonged to the 'Boobie Friday' group or have posted similar pics until the mods started cracking down on that hardcore? I know I have posted pics like that before and lest we not forget who all participated in the 'Snarky fat chics in bikinis thread'. Since some people have received warnings or strikes over pics like that it's ok to make crappy comments about that girl? Maybe she was new to the forums or had seem people posting similar pics, maybe she did it intentionally but I don't think that makes the comments ok. . Let the mods deal with the TOS violations.
Do I belong in a bikini? hell no, but I had confidence for the first time in years. I went from refusing to go out in public because I was so ashamed of my body to liking what I saw in the mirror and it was an incredible feeling.
No body said she shouldn't be in a bikini, etc. They just told her the rules, questioned why she took the bra off and wondered about the thong. No one made fat comments.
I know for sure the 2nd post had the thong picts (can't remember if it was in the first..I don't think it was). The first and second had the braless picts. Either way, she had time to edit the photos and she chose not to. You may be thinking of the double post she made when she was doing the first post. She said she wanted to test to make sure she could post picture. That one had only one picture and she just put M in the title. So...she actually had three threads..forgot about that one..lol.0 -
I love your original points Pattie!0
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#7 - instead of commenting or arguing with someone that is annoying use the ignore feature. IT.IS.AWESOME!
WAIT..... WHAAAAAAT?? You mean to tell us that we have a choice to ignore ppl? Huh, i thought it was required that you post on EVERY thread you read... where's that button? ;D
Tom foolery i say0 -
I love your original points Pattie!
Thank you, Mel!0 -
I understand what you're saying, but when somebody throws pictures out there, they should expect comments that run the gamut from good, bad, and indifferent.
Do you do feel the need to give your opinion when not asked in other aspects of your life? Do you go through the classified ads and say, "I see you're selling a Ford Explorer, but I don't like Fords and will only buy a Chevy?"
If someone asks my opinion, I'll give it. If someone asks, "Which of these haircuts would look best on me?" I'll offer suggestions. But I'm not going to go through random pictures and tell people, "You'd look better if you got a new hair style."
LorinaLynn, I wasn't sure I could think you were any more awesome, just because I hadn't found the 11 on the dial yet. Thanks for helping me locate it. :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm so glad I'm not the only one that was bothered by those posts yesterday. I blogged about it too, because I was so upset! Yeah, the pictures are out there - but this site is to SUPPORT each other in our health goals, not to judge and tear people down because they don't fit our personal ideal! So people should NOT just "expect" that from the MFP community, and they sure as hell don't deserve it.0
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And I love the original post. Should have said that to begin with! :blushing:0
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Body shaming is bad, mmmkay....unless it's a GIF making fun of skinny boys, or maybe built bros who skip leg day. Then, it's OK.0
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While I don't like that people are so vocal with their opinions, you can't stop what someone else does. All you can control is you.
Personally I find it incredibly brave when people post their before/after photos. And if I had something so great I'd do it too. So all I feel is happiness for their success. Do I feel jealous? Sometimes. But that dosen't mean I should go and try to put someone else down. I try to remember that success is something you have to work for, it isn't handed to you. You need to earn it.
But at the same time, while I think people like me are the majority, others feel that they need be hurtful to others and hide in the shadow of their computer. They are really just cowards.0 -
/edited because I don't think that the thread I'm thinking of and the thread that's being discussed about the girl in her underwear are the same threads.
Body shaming is bad. Great OP.0 -
I understand what you're saying, but when somebody throws pictures out there, they should expect comments that run the gamut from good, bad, and indifferent.
When someone is down 50 pounds and has another 50 to go, people are all kind of supportive. The problem is how rough the comments are on pics of people who really have achieved their goals and have reached envy-enducing figures. That of course is the problem IMO, envy.
And yes, all my usual snark aside, body shaming is against the rules.
I wish everyone was supportive for progress posts but as I mentioned yesterday, there were a TON of people defending the very fit girl and accusing others of body shaming. A post a week or so ago came up with a girl who lad lost 30lbs or so and she posted pics of herself fin her underwear. She still had a ways to go but by now means was wearing plus sized clothes. I saw many people who cried 'body shaming' yesterday making comments on that girls post such as, "that was scary", "it was not pretty" or "I am scarred by her underwear pics".
The hypocrisy is what really p!sses me off.
Okay... that chick was damn near naked which violates forum rules. I didn't see all those comments, but I suspect that they weren't necessarily referring to her body.
Was that the "handbra" girl?
ETA: Never mind...I see from subsequent posts that it is, and many explanations of the issues with that have already been posted.0 -
Body shaming is bad, mmmkay....unless it's a GIF making fun of skinny boys, or maybe built bros who skip leg day. Then, it's OK.
Oooh...I see what you did there...but this particular double-standard is totally fine...because making fun of *skinny* body parts is totally different in a hard-to-understand-but-totally-different way...so that makes it okay...and stuff.0 -
Patti, this is just a fantastically written post and hits a lot of points from both sides of the argument.
It really is disheartening to see comments using language like "gross" and "disgusting" being tossed around on here. MFP is supposed to be a welcoming place for people with all sorts of fitness and health goals regardless of where they start out or end up (obviously as long as those goals are healthy, i.e. no pro-ana or pro-bulemia). As karincakes said earlier, "let's just all be awesome."6. Pregosaurusrex really is pregnant. I checked.
Yes, I really am pregnant, and it's a boy.
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Patti, this is just a fantastically written post and hits a lot of points from both sides of the argument.
It really is disheartening to see comments using language like "gross" and "disgusting" being tossed around on here. MFP is supposed to be a welcoming place for people with all sorts of fitness and health goals regardless of where they start out or end up (obviously as long as those goals are healthy, i.e. no pro-ana or pro-bulemia). As karincakes said earlier, "let's just all be awesome."6. Pregosaurusrex really is pregnant. I checked.
Yes, I really am pregnant, and it's a boy.
Congrats. You have a beautiful bump boy. 0 -
Congrats. You have a beautiful bump boy.
Thank you! 0 -
What the heck did I miss?0
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I understand what you're saying, but when somebody throws pictures out there, they should expect comments that run the gamut from good, bad, and indifferent.
When someone is down 50 pounds and has another 50 to go, people are all kind of supportive. The problem is how rough the comments are on pics of people who really have achieved their goals and have reached envy-enducing figures. That of course is the problem IMO, envy.
And yes, all my usual snark aside, body shaming is against the rules.
I wish everyone was supportive for progress posts but as I mentioned yesterday, there were a TON of people defending the very fit girl and accusing others of body shaming. A post a week or so ago came up with a girl who lad lost 30lbs or so and she posted pics of herself fin her underwear. She still had a ways to go but by now means was wearing plus sized clothes. I saw many people who cried 'body shaming' yesterday making comments on that girls post such as, "that was scary", "it was not pretty" or "I am scarred by her underwear pics".
The hypocrisy is what really p!sses me off.
To be fair, her underwear pics featured see through underwear, "cameltoe" and breast spillage. If she had posted the same pictures in less, ummm, scanty... yeah, that's it... clothes that still showed her progress-- I don't think the feedback would have taken that turn.0 -
this is beautiful...thanks for posting...
Agreed :flowerforyou:0 -
This is a terrific post. Thanks Pattie!0
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Kerfuffle and tomfoolery in the same thread! I would just like to add...shenanigans!
And kittens.0 -
Great thread.
I am only jealous of myself, circa 1999.
And Christina Hendricks.0 -
Great post!! As someone who "figured it out" and lost a great deal of weight, I'm happy for ANYONE who has figured out what works for them and is working to be healthy!!!!
Tips and suggestions are great, but we aren't all "one size fits all" and one thing doesn't work for everyone. Period. End of sentence. But guess what, that's the great thing about being people - we're all great, unique individuals. We'd be boring if we were all the same.
And, Hm, I guess I'll need to post some pics. I haven't b/c I don't care about recognition or praise. I know what I did and I'm proud of myself and that's enough for me. It never crossed my mind that people wouldn't believe me b/c I didn't have pics posted.
Will have to go through some old photo albums as soon as I have time (added to my to-do list).
Again - great post! Thanks!!0 -
oooo i think i love youThere were a couple of threads yesterday that turned in to body shaming. Interesting things I observed and thoughts I had.
1. If you don't WANT to look like someone in a success thread, you don't have to share that info. When you criticize someone's appearance, you may sound jealous.
2. Not everyone wants to be a hard body, and that's okay.
3. If you are a hard body, don't think that everyone on here has the same goals. Don't assume people are jealous of you just because they don't look like you or because they disagree with you on certain issues.
4. While you're admonishing others about "body shaming", calling them fat and couch potatoes doesn't make you much better.
5. Having fake boobs, colored hair, bleached teeth, tattoos, or fake tans does NOT mean your muscles are all fake or that you "cheated" to look good. (nor does having WLS)
6. Pregosaurusrex really is pregnant. I checked.0 -
I just want to say "HIGH FIVE".
Everyone has their own look and how they want to be. Everyone has their own journey. We need to focus on our selves and not be critical of others.0
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