Father brings his daughter into the men's locker room

13468913

Replies

  • ereach4731
    ereach4731 Posts: 41 Member
    Completely unacceptable! If he is using the day care in the gym, he should do what he needs to do before picking her up. If she is working out, too, then she should go in the women's room by her self if she is old enough, OR have a female staff member go in with her. I would say that if she is 12 years or older, then maybe a female staff member can show her around the locker room and what do in to there (how to get a lockers, etc) so the girl can do it herself.
  • flarge
    flarge Posts: 47 Member
    No, no, no, no. A body isn't just a body to a 4 year old, especially a 4 year old girl seeing balls and penises swinging around. Just because YOU don't think it's a big deal doesn't mean you should put your kid in that situation not knowing if it will traumatize them or not. Maybe you should just plan ahead instead of finding yourself in a bad situation like that and acting out of desperation.

    A child will only be traumatized if their parents shelter them from nudity or tell them that being naked is bad.......Maybe parents need to educate their children before such situations occur. I'm sure there are cutesy children's books that can do that.

    As evidenced by the array of responses & reactions in this thread, each person is different, regardless of whether their parents told them nudity is icky or not. What I'm saying is that parents should not assume their 4 year olds can handle seeing dangling adult genitalia just because they think that their 4 year old selves could have. That's my opinion.

    Your kids probably not. Mind are good. Thank you very much. And you and your type, stay away from my kids.

    Dude, you do whatever you want with your kids. Not appreciating your threatening tone for stating my opinion. You obviously don't know anything about me, otherwise you wouldn't just assume I'd be a detriment to your kids. Actually, I'm glad you don't know anything about me!
  • HeatherTransformed
    HeatherTransformed Posts: 213 Member
    Ewww! Men walk around naked? Can't they use a towel? Women don't walk around their dressing rooms naked.

    If there is a family dressing room that's where she should be. Wait... does that also mean she's standing by him when he's doing his entire workout?

    IDK. I'm a little confused by it all. I'm a single mom and when my son was younger (and older because I was totally paranoid), he always went into the women's bathroom with me. If you're a single dad, what are your options? He certainly can't just leave her outside the dressing room.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    No, no, no, no. A body isn't just a body to a 4 year old, especially a 4 year old girl seeing balls and penises swinging around. Just because YOU don't think it's a big deal doesn't mean you should put your kid in that situation not knowing if it will traumatize them or not. Maybe you should just plan ahead instead of finding yourself in a bad situation like that and acting out of desperation.

    A child will only be traumatized if their parents shelter them from nudity or tell them that being naked is bad.......Maybe parents need to educate their children before such situations occur. I'm sure there are cutesy children's books that can do that.

    As evidenced by the array of responses & reactions in this thread, each person is different, regardless of whether their parents told them nudity is icky or not. What I'm saying is that parents should not assume their 4 year olds can handle seeing dangling adult genitalia just because they think that their 4 year old selves could have. That's my opinion.

    Your kids probably not. Mind are good. Thank you very much. And you and your type, stay away from my kids.

    Dude, you do whatever you want with your kids. Not appreciating your threatening tone for stating my opinion. You obviously don't know anything about me, otherwise you wouldn't just assume I'd be a detriment to your kids. Actually, I'm glad you don't know anything about me!

    I know enough that you're lecturing people on how to raise their kids. No threats at all but I don't appreciate your approach either. We clear?
  • flarge
    flarge Posts: 47 Member
    I'm one of the ones that was very shy and anxious as a little girl. Men were big, hairy creatures with deep scary voices. Being around strange men AT ALL was intimidating to me. I can only imagine the terror of being surrounded by their genitals as well. Sorry, but a 4 year old is not blind and stupid. They can identify their parts. While little kids shouldn't be made to feel shame about the body, we need to recognize that many are starting to develop a sense of sexuality, and they may be confused or scared if they are overexposed to strangers' bodies before they are ready. Some kids are more sensitive than others, so don't assume kids don't care.

    Agree!
  • flarge
    flarge Posts: 47 Member
    No, no, no, no. A body isn't just a body to a 4 year old, especially a 4 year old girl seeing balls and penises swinging around. Just because YOU don't think it's a big deal doesn't mean you should put your kid in that situation not knowing if it will traumatize them or not. Maybe you should just plan ahead instead of finding yourself in a bad situation like that and acting out of desperation.

    A child will only be traumatized if their parents shelter them from nudity or tell them that being naked is bad.......Maybe parents need to educate their children before such situations occur. I'm sure there are cutesy children's books that can do that.

    As evidenced by the array of responses & reactions in this thread, each person is different, regardless of whether their parents told them nudity is icky or not. What I'm saying is that parents should not assume their 4 year olds can handle seeing dangling adult genitalia just because they think that their 4 year old selves could have. That's my opinion.

    Your kids probably not. Mind are good. Thank you very much. And you and your type, stay away from my kids.

    Dude, you do whatever you want with your kids. Not appreciating your threatening tone for stating my opinion. You obviously don't know anything about me, otherwise you wouldn't just assume I'd be a detriment to your kids. Actually, I'm glad you don't know anything about me!

    I know enough that you're lecturing people on how to raise their kids. No threats at all but I don't appreciate your approach either. We clear?

    No, we're not. I'm not "lecturing". I stated my opinion in a few sentences just like the other 150 people in this thread. You singled me out because you don't like what I had to say. Your problem, not mine.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    I'm one of the ones that was very shy and anxious as a little girl. Men were big, hairy creatures with deep scary voices. Being around strange men AT ALL was intimidating to me. I can only imagine the terror of being surrounded by their genitals as well. Sorry, but a 4 year old is not blind and stupid. They can identify their parts. While little kids shouldn't be made to feel shame about the body, we need to recognize that many are starting to develop a sense of sexuality, and they may be confused or scared if they are overexposed to strangers' bodies before they are ready. Some kids are more sensitive than others, so don't assume kids don't care.

    This is what I'm saying! Parents shouldn't put their kids in a situation they ASSUME won't affect them in a negative way. Everyone is different.

    Or you could raise kids not to be weak willed adults that are scared of their own shadows. Your choice. And a 4 year old developing a sense of sexuality? You think you might have a problem there? Good luck with your kids. I'm out of here.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    No, no, no, no. A body isn't just a body to a 4 year old, especially a 4 year old girl seeing balls and penises swinging around. Just because YOU don't think it's a big deal doesn't mean you should put your kid in that situation not knowing if it will traumatize them or not. Maybe you should just plan ahead instead of finding yourself in a bad situation like that and acting out of desperation.

    A child will only be traumatized if their parents shelter them from nudity or tell them that being naked is bad.......Maybe parents need to educate their children before such situations occur. I'm sure there are cutesy children's books that can do that.

    As evidenced by the array of responses & reactions in this thread, each person is different, regardless of whether their parents told them nudity is icky or not. What I'm saying is that parents should not assume their 4 year olds can handle seeing dangling adult genitalia just because they think that their 4 year old selves could have. That's my opinion.

    Your kids probably not. Mind are good. Thank you very much. And you and your type, stay away from my kids.

    Dude, you do whatever you want with your kids. Not appreciating your threatening tone for stating my opinion. You obviously don't know anything about me, otherwise you wouldn't just assume I'd be a detriment to your kids. Actually, I'm glad you don't know anything about me!

    I know enough that you're lecturing people on how to raise their kids. No threats at all but I don't appreciate your approach either. We clear?

    No, we're not. I'm not "lecturing". I stated my opinion in a few sentences just like the other 150 people in this thread. You singled me out because you don't like what I had to say. Your problem, not mine.

    Sorry for singling you out there. And no, I have no problem. Its people like you that have a problem. Just like the OP. You're sexualizing children. To me, that is strange.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    No, no, no, no. A body isn't just a body to a 4 year old, especially a 4 year old girl seeing balls and penises swinging around. Just because YOU don't think it's a big deal doesn't mean you should put your kid in that situation not knowing if it will traumatize them or not. Maybe you should just plan ahead instead of finding yourself in a bad situation like that and acting out of desperation.

    A child will only be traumatized if their parents shelter them from nudity or tell them that being naked is bad.......Maybe parents need to educate their children before such situations occur. I'm sure there are cutesy children's books that can do that.

    As evidenced by the array of responses & reactions in this thread, each person is different, regardless of whether their parents told them nudity is icky or not. What I'm saying is that parents should not assume their 4 year olds can handle seeing dangling adult genitalia just because they think that their 4 year old selves could have. That's my opinion.

    Your kids probably not. Mind are good. Thank you very much. And you and your type, stay away from my kids.

    Why would you say this? What are you implying? That those of us who prefer privacy are somehow perverts? What a creepy response. :noway:
  • MeDoula
    MeDoula Posts: 233 Member
    Next time you need to be more careful. Four year old girls are dangerous creatures and may steal something from you.
  • flarge
    flarge Posts: 47 Member
    I didn't say anything about sexualizing children. My point was that I don't think parents should assume their 4 year old kids can handle seeing naked adults by putting them in that situation. That's all...I'm still wondering why that's such a controversial opinion...
  • I've never understood gendered bathrooms and change rooms. I am no more comfortable changing in front of a bunch of women than I am in front of a bunch of men. Being surrounded by your own gender doesn't protect you from being the subject of scrutiny or even arousal - the world we live in includes homosexual as well as heterosexual people. Not to mention, I don't envy anyone who is transgendered - which one do they choose? And even if you take all that away, many women (I'm sure men too) are even loudly judgmental and will make cruel comments about others bodies.

    I am a bit of a prude, so I walk around in a towel, and change into my underwear in the shower stall - with a curtain - so I don't have to be completely naked in front of anyone else. Whether children, men, or lesbian women were present or not wouldn't change my behaviour, especially since it has more to do with how I feel about my body than anything else.

    I don't see any issue with bringing children into bathrooms or change rooms. It may not be appropriate for individual children, but I'll give a parent the benefit of the doubt and say they probably know their own child, and what they can handle, better than we do.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    I didn't say anything about sexualizing children. My point was that I don't think parents should assume their 4 year old kids can handle seeing naked adults by putting them in that situation. That's all...I'm still wondering why that's such a controversial opinion...

    Frankly, I'm wondering why you find my position so controversial that you thought it necessary to warn people like me. You quoted a statement above about kids developing a sexual identity. That creeped me out if you are in fact relating that to a 4 year old.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I didn't say anything about sexualizing children. My point was that I don't think parents should assume their 4 year old kids can handle seeing naked adults by putting them in that situation. That's all...I'm still wondering why that's such a controversial opinion...

    What he was specifically referring to was this:
    we need to recognize that many are starting to develop a sense of sexuality,

    My son is 3 and while he's working on grasping gender he shouldn't have a sense if sexuality for a few more years.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    I didn't say anything about sexualizing children. My point was that I don't think parents should assume their 4 year old kids can handle seeing naked adults by putting them in that situation. That's all...I'm still wondering why that's such a controversial opinion...


    Because at 4 years old, children only associate naked bodies with something bad/taboo/wrong if their parents have planted that thought in their mind.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I didn't say anything about sexualizing children. My point was that I don't think parents should assume their 4 year old kids can handle seeing naked adults by putting them in that situation. That's all...I'm still wondering why that's such a controversial opinion...


    Because at 4 years old, children only associate naked bodies with something bad/taboo/wrong if their parents have planted that thought in their mind.

    Body shaming starting early?
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    I didn't say anything about sexualizing children. My point was that I don't think parents should assume their 4 year old kids can handle seeing naked adults by putting them in that situation. That's all...I'm still wondering why that's such a controversial opinion...

    Frankly, I'm wondering why you find my position so controversial that you thought it necessary to warn people like me. You quoted a statement above about kids developing a sexual identity. That creeped me out if you are in fact relating that to a 4 year old.

    Yeah..that did creep me out too.
  • sizzle74
    sizzle74 Posts: 858 Member
    I have been to a gym and most of them now a day have daycare facilities. Was this a gym? And where was the mother? If it was the same sex no issue but this is your daughter she is going to ask questions.

    Haha where was the mother. It was likely "Dad's visitation day" ;)

    I am tossed. My husband and I are nudists and I love seeing nude families at the beach here but we don't mix our nudity with our kids. That being said if my 8 year old walks in on me, it's no biggie.
  • doneatfour
    doneatfour Posts: 120 Member
    Didn't read all of the replies. But that is child abuse. Think about it. If a man exposed himself to a four year old we would have him thrown in jail.
  • flarge
    flarge Posts: 47 Member
    I didn't say anything about sexualizing children. My point was that I don't think parents should assume their 4 year old kids can handle seeing naked adults by putting them in that situation. That's all...I'm still wondering why that's such a controversial opinion...

    Frankly, I'm wondering why you find my position so controversial that you thought it necessary to warn people like me. You quoted a statement above about kids developing a sexual identity. That creeped me out if you are in fact relating that to a 4 year old.

    Ok, I'm done. Your accusations aren't making any sense & now you're arguing about a post that's not mine (I just quoted it to show that I agree with the part about making assumptions). I guess people can't voice (er, type) their opinions around here!
  • sizzle74
    sizzle74 Posts: 858 Member
    Didn't read all of the replies. But that is child abuse. Think about it. If a man exposed himself to a four year old we would have him thrown in jail.

    QFT
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    I didn't say anything about sexualizing children. My point was that I don't think parents should assume their 4 year old kids can handle seeing naked adults by putting them in that situation. That's all...I'm still wondering why that's such a controversial opinion...

    Frankly, I'm wondering why you find my position so controversial that you thought it necessary to warn people like me. You quoted a statement above about kids developing a sexual identity. That creeped me out if you are in fact relating that to a 4 year old.

    Ok, I'm done. Your accusations aren't making any sense & now you're arguing about a post that's not mine (I just quoted it to show that I agree with the part about making assumptions). I guess people can't voice (er, type) their opinions around here!

    You can voice your opinion, just don't get upset when someone disagrees with it or "singles you out".
  • glenette1
    glenette1 Posts: 140 Member
    I do understand why this is inappropriate and my husband nor I would ever willingly do this if we had no choice. However, I can also see how it could happen on occasion. Our gym does not have family locker rooms and the only way to the pool is through the locker rooms. If my daughter has swimming lessons and I am unable to take her, we have three choices: 1. Have my husband enter through the women's locker room with her. 2. Have her enter through the men's locker room with him. 3. Cancel swim lessons for that day. (For the record, we have never had to do this as I always take her). However, there have been instances when my husband has gone to the gym with our two young daughters. The employees are not allowed to take children to the bathroom so what choice does a father have in this instance if his daughter has to use the restroom??? And I certainly would not expect a father to leave his 4 year old unattended while he went into the locker room for ANY reason. Alas, I agree the opposite sex locker room is no place for children when it's possible to avoid it. But you never know what circumstances someone else may be in.
  • Going4Lean
    Going4Lean Posts: 1,078 Member
    Unacceptable in my humble opinion.
  • flarge
    flarge Posts: 47 Member
    I didn't say anything about sexualizing children. My point was that I don't think parents should assume their 4 year old kids can handle seeing naked adults by putting them in that situation. That's all...I'm still wondering why that's such a controversial opinion...


    Because at 4 years old, children only associate naked bodies with something bad/taboo/wrong if their parents have planted that thought in their mind.

    Body shaming starting early?

    Again, that original quote about sexualizing wasn't mine. I agreed with the part about making assumptions. My parents didn't teach me that bodies are gross or bad; however, I don't think I would've wanted to see adult male bodies as a 4 year old. Everyone is different, so in my opinion, it's not worth the risk.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    I didn't say anything about sexualizing children. My point was that I don't think parents should assume their 4 year old kids can handle seeing naked adults by putting them in that situation. That's all...I'm still wondering why that's such a controversial opinion...

    What he was specifically referring to was this:
    we need to recognize that many are starting to develop a sense of sexuality,

    My son is 3 and while he's working on grasping gender he shouldn't have a sense if sexuality for a few more years.

    Yes, children ARE sexually aware from an early age. This is human nature and perfectly NORMAL. Some kids are more sensitive than others and would not want to be exposed to strangers' naked bodies - they just aren't ready. Just be sensitive to the fact that each child in an individual and don't assume that kids don't care just because YOU don't care. This is not meant to be controversial or to offend anyone. :flowerforyou:

    From: http://www.extension.purdue.edu/providerparent/child growth-development/SexualDEV.htm
    "2-5 years old
    During these years, children learn to dress and undress themselves. Many children really like to be naked. They may become very interested in how others look under their clothes. This behavior is normal. There is no need to worry unless the child gets undressed all the time and often gets involved in sex play with other children. It may be important to talk with children about what “private” means. It is also good to explain what things should not be done in front of other people. This is the time when children can begin to understand that sexuality is private."
  • MouseTmom
    MouseTmom Posts: 201 Member
    I used to go to the Y and swim. The shower room was between the locker room and the pool and the ONLY way to get to the pool from the women's locker room was through the shower!! Imagine my surprise when a women and her 4 boys (approx ages 6 - 12) all came traipsing through the shower room. Did not bother me as much in the locker room cause you can always open locker doors, use towels, etc but there was just something about boys walking through while I was taking a shower!!
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    My parents used to take our family to a nude beach when we'd visit the grand parents in California. My brother and I (he's three years older) would run around looking at ladies breasts and we'd run away from naked guys. We thought it was funny more than anything else. So I don't have a problem with human nudity.

    However, if there's a family locker room available and if it makes the other patrons uncomfortable (as it did the OP), then he should have been courteous and used the available alternate facilities.
  • tweetymom8
    tweetymom8 Posts: 15 Member
    The original post has nothing in there about a family locker room, and if there is no family locker room, he has no other option. Why do men have to parade around naked in the locker room? Be discreet with your junk. Some gay guy might be checking you out if you aren't. I am sick of health clubs throwing roadblocks in parent's way. As a parent of young child, it is hard enough to get motivated to go exercise, and then when you get to the club with your kid they make sure to treat you like a second rate member.
  • flarge
    flarge Posts: 47 Member
    I didn't say anything about sexualizing children. My point was that I don't think parents should assume their 4 year old kids can handle seeing naked adults by putting them in that situation. That's all...I'm still wondering why that's such a controversial opinion...

    Frankly, I'm wondering why you find my position so controversial that you thought it necessary to warn people like me. You quoted a statement above about kids developing a sexual identity. That creeped me out if you are in fact relating that to a 4 year old.

    Ok, I'm done. Your accusations aren't making any sense & now you're arguing about a post that's not mine (I just quoted it to show that I agree with the part about making assumptions). I guess people can't voice (er, type) their opinions around here!

    You can voice your opinion, just don't get upset when someone disagrees with it or "singles you out".

    I really don't mind when people disagree with me...normally I enjoy this type of discussion, but your post about staying away from your kids was insulting and unwarranted.