Father brings his daughter into the men's locker room

flarge · January 2013

I didn't say anything about sexualizing children. My point was that I don't think parents should assume their 4 year old kids can handle seeing naked adults by putting them in that situation. That's all...I'm still wondering why that's such a controversial opinion...

punkin_p · January 2013

I've never understood gendered bathrooms and change rooms. I am no more comfortable changing in front of a bunch of women than I am in front of a bunch of men. Being surrounded by your own gender doesn't protect you from being the subject of scrutiny or even arousal - the world we live in includes homosexual as well as heterosexual people. Not to mention, I don't envy anyone who is transgendered - which one do they choose? And even if you take all that away, many women (I'm sure men too) are even loudly judgmental and will make cruel comments about others bodies.

I am a bit of a prude, so I walk around in a towel, and change into my underwear in the shower stall - with a curtain - so I don't have to be completely naked in front of anyone else. Whether children, men, or lesbian women were present or not wouldn't change my behaviour, especially since it has more to do with how I feel about my body than anything else.

I don't see any issue with bringing children into bathrooms or change rooms. It may not be appropriate for individual children, but I'll give a parent the benefit of the doubt and say they probably know their own child, and what they can handle, better than we do.

sunsnstatheart · January 2013

Frankly, I'm wondering why you find my position so controversial that you thought it necessary to warn people like me. You quoted a statement above about kids developing a sexual identity. That creeped me out if you are in fact relating that to a 4 year old.

AlsDonkBoxSquat · January 2013

What he was specifically referring to was this:

My son is 3 and while he's working on grasping gender he shouldn't have a sense if sexuality for a few more years.

infamousmk · January 2013

Because at 4 years old, children only associate naked bodies with something bad/taboo/wrong if their parents have planted that thought in their mind.

AlsDonkBoxSquat · January 2013

Body shaming starting early?

PikaKnight · January 2013

Yeah..that did creep me out too.

sizzle74 · January 2013

Haha where was the mother. It was likely "Dad's visitation day"

I am tossed. My husband and I are nudists and I love seeing nude families at the beach here but we don't mix our nudity with our kids. That being said if my 8 year old walks in on me, it's no biggie.

doneatfour · January 2013

Didn't read all of the replies. But that is child abuse. Think about it. If a man exposed himself to a four year old we would have him thrown in jail.

flarge · January 2013

Ok, I'm done. Your accusations aren't making any sense & now you're arguing about a post that's not mine (I just quoted it to show that I agree with the part about making assumptions). I guess people can't voice (er, type) their opinions around here!

sizzle74 · January 2013

QFT

sunsnstatheart · January 2013

You can voice your opinion, just don't get upset when someone disagrees with it or "singles you out".

glenette1 · January 2013

I do understand why this is inappropriate and my husband nor I would ever willingly do this if we had no choice. However, I can also see how it could happen on occasion. Our gym does not have family locker rooms and the only way to the pool is through the locker rooms. If my daughter has swimming lessons and I am unable to take her, we have three choices: 1. Have my husband enter through the women's locker room with her. 2. Have her enter through the men's locker room with him. 3. Cancel swim lessons for that day. (For the record, we have never had to do this as I always take her). However, there have been instances when my husband has gone to the gym with our two young daughters. The employees are not allowed to take children to the bathroom so what choice does a father have in this instance if his daughter has to use the restroom??? And I certainly would not expect a father to leave his 4 year old unattended while he went into the locker room for ANY reason. Alas, I agree the opposite sex locker room is no place for children when it's possible to avoid it. But you never know what circumstances someone else may be in.

Going4Lean · January 2013

Unacceptable in my humble opinion.

flarge · January 2013

Again, that original quote about sexualizing wasn't mine. I agreed with the part about making assumptions. My parents didn't teach me that bodies are gross or bad; however, I don't think I would've wanted to see adult male bodies as a 4 year old. Everyone is different, so in my opinion, it's not worth the risk.

jenilla1 · January 2013

Yes, children ARE sexually aware from an early age. This is human nature and perfectly NORMAL. Some kids are more sensitive than others and would not want to be exposed to strangers' naked bodies - they just aren't ready. Just be sensitive to the fact that each child in an individual and don't assume that kids don't care just because YOU don't care. This is not meant to be controversial or to offend anyone. :flowerforyou:

From: http://www.extension.purdue.edu/providerparent/child growth-development/SexualDEV.htm
"2-5 years old
During these years, children learn to dress and undress themselves. Many children really like to be naked. They may become very interested in how others look under their clothes. This behavior is normal. There is no need to worry unless the child gets undressed all the time and often gets involved in sex play with other children. It may be important to talk with children about what “private” means. It is also good to explain what things should not be done in front of other people. This is the time when children can begin to understand that sexuality is private."

MouseTmom · January 2013

I used to go to the Y and swim. The shower room was between the locker room and the pool and the ONLY way to get to the pool from the women's locker room was through the shower!! Imagine my surprise when a women and her 4 boys (approx ages 6 - 12) all came traipsing through the shower room. Did not bother me as much in the locker room cause you can always open locker doors, use towels, etc but there was just something about boys walking through while I was taking a shower!!

brower47 · January 2013

My parents used to take our family to a nude beach when we'd visit the grand parents in California. My brother and I (he's three years older) would run around looking at ladies breasts and we'd run away from naked guys. We thought it was funny more than anything else. So I don't have a problem with human nudity.

However, if there's a family locker room available and if it makes the other patrons uncomfortable (as it did the OP), then he should have been courteous and used the available alternate facilities.

tweetymom8 · January 2013

The original post has nothing in there about a family locker room, and if there is no family locker room, he has no other option. Why do men have to parade around naked in the locker room? Be discreet with your junk. Some gay guy might be checking you out if you aren't. I am sick of health clubs throwing roadblocks in parent's way. As a parent of young child, it is hard enough to get motivated to go exercise, and then when you get to the club with your kid they make sure to treat you like a second rate member.

flarge · January 2013

I really don't mind when people disagree with me...normally I enjoy this type of discussion, but your post about staying away from your kids was insulting and unwarranted.

Father brings his daughter into the men's locker room

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