Father brings his daughter into the men's locker room
Replies
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When I was about 4 or 5 my dad took me into a men's bathroom because I was at a county fair only with him and I had to pee. What was he supposed to do? Send me into the bathroom on my own? No, he did what any good parent would do and chaperoned his young child into the bathroom. He got me into a stall, I did my business, washed my hands, and left. I was not traumatized by the male penises peeing into the urinals. Situations like this are not traumatic unless there's a reason for them to be traumatic. This little girl's experience probably WILL be traumatic, because you came yelling at her dad and made a big deal out of something that didn't need to be confrontational at all.
I get that he should have used the family facilities if they existed. The better and more appropriate thing for you to do was just suggest to him nicely that in the future he should use the family facilities - that maybe it would be more comfortable since he had his child with him. If he made a big deal after that then you could have spoken with the staff. Instead you made yourself look like an *kitten* and probably really did traumatize this girl.
That is a great post!
This is an example of you taking one isolated incident and judging this guys ability to parent. You don't have any further context or information on which to base your judgements.
I take my daughters into the mens room whenever I need to (I'd take her to the ladies but that's frowned upon
), I never feel that it is inappropriate, nor would I ever leave her unsupervised in that environment.
My children are well educated, they know the difference between male and female anatomy, and I will openly and honestly answer any question for which they are mature enough to comprehend the answer. They also know who the people are in their 'circle of trust', these are the people we have designated as the only people they are to trust implicitly. (my children are 2 & 5 fyi).
So, let me ask you this. If you knew this about me, and about my methods and attitudes as a parent, would you have confronted me in that locker room in the same way?0 -
What the world is really like eh. I am 27, when I was 8 there was a lady who ran a daycare on our street. Everyone thought they were saints, they went to church several times a week, they organized community things, etc. Few years later, see a ton of cop cars around the house and her two teenage boys being taken out in cuffs. Turns out the boys were molesting the little children when they "helped" and worked at the daycare (4 different children were discovered to have been victims and it had been going on for several months). I used to babysit one of the little girls who this happened to when I was in high school that poor child was so messed up I can't even begin to tell you. That was in a pretty decent sized city, I am all too aware of how "some of" the world really is. I am sure it is not like that everywhere but I am a parent I don't gamble with my children. Which is my only point if it was avoidable it should have been avoided.0
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I'm more upset about people sitting bare *kitten* in the sauna then a kid seeing another human nude, only in the home of the "free" would people make such a big deal about this, all over the world people walk around nude and the world hasn't stopped spinning yet.
Right, but different societies have different norms. That's not a bad thing. We teach our children what is normal in our own culture. It's fine to teach them that it is normal elsewhere or that you don't like that rule very much, but they do need to learn what is normal for where they live.
You and I live in two different societies and cultures then. In mine its perfectly normal to take my daughters into the bathroom with me and in the occasional locker room. There certainly are regional differences in these United States (assuming you are speaking of the United States).
I have 3 girls, I have took them in the mens room many times, I took showers with my mom when I was a kido.we are all good. nude is not bad! Oh and I live in the great country of Texas = )0 -
In my experience, those moms want their kids to remember that.I don't think people realize that children develop long term memory at around the age of 2 or 3. At 4 - this girl will remember this. Its like moms who breast feed past 5,6,7years of age. They don't realize that there kid is going to grow up remembering that..."experience".
But aren't those body parts icky to you? Particularly the boys?0 -
What the world is really like eh. I am 27, when I was 8 there was a lady who ran a daycare on our street. Everyone thought they were saints, they went to church several times a week, they organized community things, etc. Few years later, see a ton of cop cars around the house and her two teenage boys being taken out in cuffs. Turns out the boys were molesting the little children when they "helped" and worked at the daycare (4 different children were discovered to have been victims and it had been going on for several months). I used to babysit one of the little girls who this happened to when I was in high school that poor child was so messed up I can't even begin to tell you. That was in a pretty decent sized city, I am all too aware of how "some of" the world really is. I am sure it is not like that everywhere but I am a parent I don't gamble with my children. Which is my only point if it was avoidable it should have been avoided.
Yeah, what does this have to do with anything, other than religious people being pervs?0 -
I'm more upset about people sitting bare *kitten* in the sauna then a kid seeing another human nude, only in the home of the "free" would people make such a big deal about this, all over the world people walk around nude and the world hasn't stopped spinning yet.
Right, but different societies have different norms. That's not a bad thing. We teach our children what is normal in our own culture. It's fine to teach them that it is normal elsewhere or that you don't like that rule very much, but they do need to learn what is normal for where they live.
You and I live in two different societies and cultures then. In mine its perfectly normal to take my daughters into the bathroom with me and in the occasional locker room. There certainly are regional differences in these United States (assuming you are speaking of the United States).
Exactly :-) There can be a different culture in different gyms even. His gym has family locker rooms, so I'm assuming they have created a culture where the family locker room is the norm for mixed gender family members changing together
Oh my. Really? Small town, correct?
I have no idea if his is in a small town, I just saw that he said it had family locker rooms. My gym is in a city and has family locker rooms.0 -
I don't think people realize that children develop long term memory at around the age of 2 or 3. At 4 - this girl will remember this. Its like moms who breast feed past 5,6,7years of age. They don't realize that there kid is going to grow up remembering that..."experience".
There is nothing horrifying about this experience except that some man yelled at her dad in the locker room. I'm sure she'll remember THAT forever. There's nothing wrong with a child seeing nudity in a non-sexual setting. Even if she remembered that forever, so what?
But really, the original poster really created an unforgettable situation.
This. Especially the bold.
I still don't get why "remembering" the human body is so horrific.0 -
I don't think people realize that children develop long term memory at around the age of 2 or 3. At 4 - this girl will remember this. Its like moms who breast feed past 5,6,7years of age. They don't realize that there kid is going to grow up remembering that..."experience".
There is nothing horrifying about this experience except that some man yelled at her dad in the locker room. I'm sure she'll remember THAT forever. There's nothing wrong with a child seeing nudity in a non-sexual setting. Even if she remembered that forever, so what?
But really, the original poster really created an unforgettable situation.
Perfectly said.0 -
I'm more upset about people sitting bare *kitten* in the sauna then a kid seeing another human nude, only in the home of the "free" would people make such a big deal about this, all over the world people walk around nude and the world hasn't stopped spinning yet.
Right, but different societies have different norms. That's not a bad thing. We teach our children what is normal in our own culture. It's fine to teach them that it is normal elsewhere or that you don't like that rule very much, but they do need to learn what is normal for where they live.
You and I live in two different societies and cultures then. In mine its perfectly normal to take my daughters into the bathroom with me and in the occasional locker room. There certainly are regional differences in these United States (assuming you are speaking of the United States).
I have 3 girls, I have took them in the mens room many times, I took showers with my mom when I was a kido.we are all good. nude is not bad! Oh and I live in the great country of Texas = )
I"m with you. I have a 2 1/2 and a 6 year old. I've lived in small town U.S.A., New York, other large U.S. cities, and overseas, and I've actually never run into the attitudes I'm seeing on this thread. I'm really shocked to be honest.0 -
In my experience, those moms want their kids to remember that.I don't think people realize that children develop long term memory at around the age of 2 or 3. At 4 - this girl will remember this. Its like moms who breast feed past 5,6,7years of age. They don't realize that there kid is going to grow up remembering that..."experience".
But aren't those body parts icky to you? Particularly the boys?
I think you took my other response wrong. My point isn't that kids should or shouldn't see naked bodies, just that different people have different opinions on the matter. I'm all for different people having different points of view.0 -
How do you know the girl is 4, she may be 2. My son is the height of his kindergarten cousins, he looks a lot than 2yrs. 2 year old children don't know what is going on, seeing naked people is nothing to them. Perhaps the dad doesn't want to leave his daughter outside of the locker room where he can't keep an eye on her. You don't really know the story. There is a huge difference between a 4yr old and a 2yr old. If I were him I would just skip the locker room all together.0
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How do you know the girl is 4, she may be 2. My son is the height of his kindergarten cousins, he looks a lot than 2yrs. 2 year old children don't know what is going on, seeing naked people is nothing to them. Perhaps the dad doesn't want to leave his daughter outside of the locker room where he can't keep an eye on her. You don't really know the story. There is a huge difference between a 4yr old and a 2yr old. If I were him I would just skip the locker room all together.
Good point0 -
Sorry, why is this inappropriate (other than the family room thing)? What the hell happens in the locker rooms? I assume people are mostly civilized.
These people must think that the men's locker room is one big orgy......or that the men in there "sword fight" or something......I've never been in one myself, but I assume that it's just men either getting dressed, undressed, drying off or getting into the shower.
Bahahah0 -
Don't see a problem with it.0
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My views on this: I don't think it is your place to tell the father how to raise his child. I am completely flabbergasted by the responses on here comparing allowing a child to watch porn and seeing a naked individual get dressed. The man who is bringing his 4 year old daughter into the locker room is not the problem, the people who are sexualizing the experience are problems!! I agree with the person who stated about it being acceptable in different cultures, but at the same time people like the OP need to learn how to take a chill pill and stop being so friggen stuffy.0
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Are there restrooms in the family changing area? Do you know the circumstances behind why he needed to bring his daughter into the men's locker room. I think that if possible he should have used the family changing area but none of us know why he didn't. You were an *kitten* and confronted him with his small child in tow. Way to go!
Did you check with the management regarding any policy related to children being in the adult locker rooms? What was the guy's response to you?
At my gym we don't have family changing rooms and no child under the age of 14 is allowed in the gym area. There is a daycare center at the front of the gym that has restrooms and my daughter never has to go into any locker room.
I really don't think this is a big deal. If we are out as a family, I take my 3 year old to the restroom with me, but sometimes her father has to take her if I am not there. Not every public place has a family restroom. Mountain out of a mole hill in my opinion.0 -
FTW!My views on this: I don't think it is your place to tell the father how to raise his child. I am completely flabbergasted by the responses on here comparing allowing a child to watch porn and seeing a naked individual get dressed. The man who is bringing his 4 year old daughter into the locker room is not the problem, the people who are sexualizing the experience are problems!! I agree with the person who stated about it being acceptable in different cultures, but at the same time people like the OP need to learn how to take a chill pill and stop being so friggen stuffy.0
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Seems too many people spend too much time in the locker rooms. Go lift some weights, do some biceP curls, do a plank or a crunch...just stop wasting your day with your locker room obsessions.0
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^This.Didn't read all of the replies. But that is child abuse. Think about it. If a man exposed himself to a four year old we would have him thrown in jail.
QFT
Child abuse? Really? There are many cultures in which being naked is acceptable.
As for the scenerio of someone exposing them self to a child, that is completely different context. The motivation behind that is sexual and is often a precursor to other behaviour.
I don't know how a lot of you would have functioned in bilbical times.0 -
creepy in my book!0
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I'm sure the child predators really appreciate his willingness to make his 4 yr old daughter feel completely comfortable around grown naked men.0
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Feels like some of these people didn't read the whole OP before writing their opinions. There is a family locker room which the dad can bring the girl in and yet he chooses to bring her in the men's locker room. That is inappropriate. If there is no family locker room, it will be a different story. Also, I am guessing the OP estimate the girl's age, she could be older/younger than 4. Who knows....1
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This is insane!! I would rather miss a workout that bring my daughter to the gym. (even if they have childrens play area I don't like people I don't know watching my kid.)0
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My views on this: I don't think it is your place to tell the father how to raise his child. I am completely flabbergasted by the responses on here comparing allowing a child to watch porn and seeing a naked individual get dressed. The man who is bringing his 4 year old daughter into the locker room is not the problem, the people who are sexualizing the experience are problems!! I agree with the person who stated about it being acceptable in different cultures, but at the same time people like the OP need to learn how to take a chill pill and stop being so friggen stuffy.
Agree, but like anything relating to parenting or children, EVERYBODY has some kind of strong opinion about it.
It's sad the level of judgment parents have to deal with now.0 -
It is no different than women taking 4 year old little boys into the ladies locker room.
I go to a community center there are family change rooms, there is a men's change room there is a ladies change room. Woman are constantly bringing 4-6 year old little boys into the change rooms, my niece (whom is 8) has me hold a towel for her to change behind lest a little boy catch a glimps of her.
Some people do not think, they tend to forget that little kids get curious too. I see this as being NO different. Do I agree with it? No, Not l especially if there is an availability of a family change room, but people are people and they do what they want. but it is not my place, I used the available changing stalls and if those are busy I will wait in my wet bathing suit before changing.
If it bothers you, You can always talk to the front desk and express your displeasure with this man, maybe they can talk to him and ask him to NOT take his daughter into the mens change room.
Edited: one of these days I will get this posting *kitten* down0 -
I don't think people realize that children develop long term memory at around the age of 2 or 3. At 4 - this girl will remember this. Its like moms who breast feed past 5,6,7years of age. They don't realize that there kid is going to grow up remembering that..."experience".
There is nothing horrifying about this experience except that some man yelled at her dad in the locker room. I'm sure she'll remember THAT forever. There's nothing wrong with a child seeing nudity in a non-sexual setting. Even if she remembered that forever, so what?
But really, the original poster really created an unforgettable situation.
This. Especially the bold.
I still don't get why "remembering" the human body is so horrific.
I completely agree with this. Let's be honest, when family rooms are provided and available, any parent would rather use these when they have their children that are of the opposite sex with them (when they are of the age that they need help or shouldn't be left unattended, of course). When this isn't the case, this parent has their child with them, regardless of their sex (mother/father with son/daughter) because they are good parents. Also, my 2 & 4 year old girl & boy know what private parts are. They know that boys have a penis, that girls have a vagina; boys and girls are different. They also know that these are private parts, and what's acceptable and what's not (yes, these are the exact words we use). Children know what you teach them . . . Always0 -
I'm sure the child predators really appreciate his willingness to make his 4 yr old daughter feel completely comfortable around grown naked men.
Because feeling frightened and ashamed at the sight of a grown naked man is how we should be raising our future women: be afraid girls, the mens are gonna rape you lolololol.
Also, if you think that's how child predators work, please don't ever have children.
Wondering if OP was so disturbed by this because he's a child predator himself. Did the sight of a little girl potentially seeing his wee-wee raise some odd feelings?
Seriously wish there was an eye-rolling icon available.0 -
I'm sure the child predators really appreciate his willingness to make his 4 yr old daughter feel completely comfortable around grown naked men.
Because feeling frightened and ashamed at the sight of a grown naked man is how we should be raising our future women: be afraid girls, the mens are gonna rape you lolololol.
Also, if you think that's how child predators work, please don't ever have children.
Wondering if OP was so disturbed by this because he's a child predator himself. Did the sight of a little girl potentially seeing his wee-wee raise some odd feelings?
Seriously wish there was an eye-rolling icon available.
Seriously.
I think that people who think there's anything sexual about an encounter like that have major issues with sex themselves and perhaps something they need to deal with.0 -
you're totally justified! i'd call the cops. endangerment of a child and all that.0
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you're totally justified! i'd call the cops. endangerment of a child and all that.
Are you kidding me? The cops have important things to deal with. Not about a little girl who is in no way endangered being taken care of by her dad. Please don't waste important resources like this.
This is not what the police are for. If the OP was uncomfortable with the little girl seeing him naked, he should have brought it up with management of the gym.0
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