An ex attack
Replies
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I had someone like this in my life quite a few years agoo now....6 years ago to be exact. We were together for 4 years, and the last couple years we were together, I had been putting on a lot of weight. The more he said, the more I ate. He made comments like "I can hear you getting fatter", he made comments like this even if i was only eating a salad, and he was mowing his two double cheese burgers! He would tell me that I was too fat and ugly to find physically attractive. I am still struggling with this still, to this day, six years later. ..Unfortunately, I stuck it out with him for far too long, and now I am dealing with the scars. I still have Major self esteem issues, and I am afraid I always will! I am working hard to improve my self image, and I have to learn that fat or not, I am not the worthless lump he made me feel like!0
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Oh my gosh! Have you looked at yourself lately? I looked at your pictures and you look amazing! You lost a lot of weight. Do NOT let him bring you down. It sounds like he just really wanted to hurt you and he knew what to say to get to you. Please keep your head up and keep the confidence you worked hard for. We're here for you!!!0
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I would love to tell you to completely let it go and move on, but unfortunately, I don't think it always works like that. People will say that someone else's words and actions can only affect you if you allow them to. That being said, I'm one of those people, who like you, let words from those I care about (and sometimes those I don't care about) affect me. Profoundly.
What I would suggest for you (and what I try to remember myself) is to remember that only YOU can make you feel better about yourself. It's not up to some guy to assure you of that. YOU have to love yourself! You've worked hard, you are strong, and beautiful!
Don't give someone else the satisfaction of taking those facts away and making you doubt yourself. Hold your head up high!! 0 -
That's why he is your ex. You should keep it in your head to motivate the f@#k out of you. that is all.
Yep, My ex told me I was fat, disgusting and no one would ever want to be with me if I left him. That's what manipulative abusers do anyway. He brainwashed me for a long time before I got the courage to leave.
You are beautiful, consider yourself lucky that is over and didn't turn into a long term relationship!
Exactly. My ex would break me down and at one point we got in an argument that was so harsh that he made me cry... once I was tearing up he looked at me with absolute disgust and said "you're fcking ugly when you cry. well, I guess you aren't much better when you're not." He was definitely manipulative and loved to break me down, making me too scared to leave that gawdawful marriage. I still remember most of the comments he made. But I have moved on and use that for motivation.
You are incredibly beautiful! Don't ever let anyone else make you think otherwise!0 -
He is unworthy of you I saw the before pic in your profile you have come a looonnnggg way. Be compassionate with yourself and leave him alone. Trust me you can do better than someone who would say or even think such things. Get active doing the things you want to do. You will find someone who like to do them too.0
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He said things during the arguement intentionally to hurt you. Obviously, it worked. Don't let it. He knew exactly what to say.
He used information you gave him during the relationship to hurt you. The good news is, it is not really how he felt during the relationship.
I'm not saying it is right. Be glad he's gone.
You ARE the person you felt you were. ...confident, sexy, ect.0 -
I can see where his comments would be hard to shake...but here's the thing: they reflect way more on who he is than who you are. He, in a pinch, was not afraid to pull out the big guns and use your deepest fears and insecurities against you, just to win an argument. He's a douche, and his character is no reflection on who you are.0
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Funny title...
He's pissed because from the looks of things you've dropped a ton of weight and he's acting like an angry, insecure little boy.
Congratulations. You lost even more weight that was just holding you back.
Want to get back at him? Have an amazing life. There's nothing better.
You're gonna be just fine.
Believe this. 100%.0 -
Dont forget what he said, I know it hurts at the time but experiences like these are the ones that make us who we are and shape us into the people we will be,
You will only get stronger from this, and learn to see the negative things in people that may eventually ruin a relationship.
It will take time (i just came out of a year long relationship) but you will get there and with the people here you will succeed in all of your goals and remember
YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON
YOU ARE PRETTY
YOU ARE KIND
YOU ARE FUNNY
AND YOU CAN DO WHAT EVER YOU WANT
SIMPLY PUT
YOU ARE AMAZING!!0 -
He only attacked you verbally because he is unhappy with himself. Someone who is confident and happy does not need to attack someone else so viciously. You are still young and there are way too many men out there that won't need to feel to knock you down.
You should be happy that you found out how nasty he can get early on. This can be an early sign of abuse. Move on and focus on yourself.0 -
His or anyone else's opinion of you doesn't matter. Move on. He's not worth a second thought.
Without a doubt, Turn around & walk away. Far far away.0 -
I felt awful reading your post.I stopped being friends with my Ex's because it was felt toxic. I've been with my current boyfriend for nearly four years and engaged for one..so things DO get better..Move on hun because you don't need people like that in your life X0
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Funny title...
He's pissed because from the looks of things you've dropped a ton of weight and he's acting like an angry, insecure little boy.
Congratulations. You lost even more weight that was just holding you back.
Want to get back at him? Have an amazing life. There's nothing better.
You're gonna be just fine.
This x 1000!0 -
I actually just had something similar happen to me recently. I dated someone for about a month and ended things because of differences that would become a problem in the long run. I was nice about ending things, but the conversation turned ugly and he attacked me as well. I know and you should know as well, that this is not on you! This is about him and his own insecurities. He attacked the very things that he KNEW would get to you and make you feel like less of a woman and person.
So to move forward keep in mind where you have come from and how you feel about yourself. Never let someone else take away your confidence and beauty (inner and outer).
I hope this helps.0 -
Happiness/Success are the best form of revenge. You are beautiful. Never forget.0
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What he said isn't true - he just did his best to come out with something that he knew would deeply hurt and upset you and feel the worst way possible.
I agree with what others have said. He's shown himself capable and extreme nastiness and spite, lucky for you he is your ex and you are free to cut him out of your life completely and get on with the important business of being happy 0 -
That's why he is your ex. You should keep it in your head to motivate the f@#k out of you. that is all.
Agreed. You hurt his ego, so he decided to say nasty things to try to make him feel better about himself. He's a loser- ignore him.0 -
Just break up.
You are an idiot.
That hurt my feelings.. reported.0 -
He wasn't worth it, thats why he's now an ex.
What he did was emotional abuse, and no one ever needs that, we are plenty capable of inflicting our own emotional abuse without help!
My ex pulled the same kinda crap for many many years.
First was the "I am not marrying you unless you lose weight" - I lived on baked fish and veggies with lemon juice for weeks. - no change. - seriously, no change!
15 years (yes, 15) of his BS, and I finally got rid of him! Yay!
So heres the kicker, he married someone who is about 100 pounds more than me...
I am doing this for ME, and you are doing this for YOU, be very thankful you didn't waste 15 years! 0 -
sounds like a loser everyone needs to stay motivated0
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Funny title...
He's pissed because from the looks of things you've dropped a ton of weight and he's acting like an angry, insecure little boy.
Congratulations. You lost even more weight that was just holding you back.
Want to get back at him? Have an amazing life. There's nothing better.
You're gonna be just fine.
Brett is spot on.....as always. Take his advice and move on, hun. 0 -
Kristy - You are lucky to find this out about him now and to have him out of your life. And before I offer advice, first let me congratulate you on your transformation. You look like an entirely new person and you should be incredibly proud!!! Well done you!! So with that (and as others have said), some people are just mean and hurtful and they know how to hit someone where they are insecure. Those are BAD, AWFUL, UGLY people and you do not want them in your life. What you should do is look in the mirror and recognize the person you are today and be INCREDIBLY proud! You obviously have amazing discipline to transform yourself and that will power will carry you to wonderful things throughout your life. Be confident because you have done something (the transformation) that most people cannot successfully do and carry that confidence with you into your work and the rest of your life. Happy to be a friend on here if you want it. Good luck regardless! Cheers!0
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You told him what your weakness was; where your insecurities lay. What he said meant nothing. He was lashing out at you in anger and looking to hurt you. He went for your jugular....your weak point. If you had confided in him a different weakness, that is what he would say. His words are meaningless. His anger and desire to hurt you in order to build himself up is not.....he is no friend. Remove him from your life.0
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Life is too short to stress yourself with people who don't even deserve to be an issue in your life.
Move on and turn the experience into something to drive you harder and make you more determined to reach your set goals 0 -
Just break up.
You are an idiot.
That hurt my feelings.. reported.
Awww That is too bad. Since I am sure you comment was SO helpful to this poor girl who was really hurt. Hope you feel better.
Actually, ma'am, it is genuine advice. If a relationship is working so poorly that you resort to seeking advice on the forum of a fitness website, then my advice would be to just break up.0 -
Mostly when people attack it's as a direct reflection of their own insecurities. I think you'll find its his problem more than yours. Personally i think you look a bit like Billie Piper but what do I know..:):):):)0
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Well it sounds like you dodged a bullet with this one. No need to have ANYTHING else to do with him. He blatantly used his knowledge of your personal insecurities to hurt you. Had you still be in a relationship with this fool, I would have called it toxic. Be relieved and moved on. He just said those things to hurt you. You don't have to let him succeed at it.
^^^ totally this...be happy you dodged that bullet. He is insecure and willing to use his personal knowledge of you to purposefully hurt. What a "insert word here that I cannot say because I'll get another strike but is my favoritest word in the whole wide world for people like this". You ARE beautiful, and young, and you will find someone who values everything about you. Don't even try to talk to this beast again, he isn't worth it.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Hey, men are jerks. And this one sounds like a particularly insecure, spiteful one. (And he probably has a very small p@n!$) You were confident and you felt sexy before... don't let one "sour grapes" twit set you back! You look pretty hot to me!
how come when women belittle men we never say, oh i bet she has a wide vagina0 -
We had already broken up, or your advice would have been sound. Did you read my post? It does have to do with body image and my weight loss. I just wanted to know I wasn't alone in the situation. Thanks for your input though!Just break up.
You are an idiot.
That hurt my feelings.. reported.
Awww That is too bad. Since I am sure you comment was SO helpful to this poor girl who was really hurt. Hope you feel better.
Actually, ma'am, it is genuine advice. If a relationship is working so poorly that you resort to seeking advice on the forum of a fitness website, then my advice would be to just break up.0 -
Just break up.
You are an idiot.
mean spirited and name calling is out of line. No place here for that.0
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