An ex attack

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  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
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    Oh and just so everyone knows, I did break ties with him! I respect myself too much to put up with that. I may be in a fragile state of mind right now, but I know I don't deserve that!

    Thanks again for all the awesome responses! You are all great!

    Attagirl. Now go forth and conquer life.
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
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    It's just what a large group of people (and you ALL know who you are) post when they have nothing better to say.

    I see this sentence about 5 times a day - referring to different posts that are left around the chit chat area of MFP that are similar or are inside jokes - it always makes me stabby.

    oh these horrible women always having fun. i wish they would just get fat and get off my free weight loss website, horrible creatures, i wish they would all just find G....

    really getting beaten down by all these people who wake up and decide to hate people on the internet who are silly in the chit chat forum. Like seriously, you dont like us, we can never make you like us, we arent trying to make you like us, what do you want? Do you really just want us to give up and leave and stop being health conscious and helping people? Is playing in the fun and games forums just too far - should we just be happy that we met most of our goals and just go away so we dont accidentally allow our success to hurt anyone's feelings. Are our little internet comments actually derailing your fitness goals and personal well-being?

    then just stop trying to judge an entire group of people that you couldn't even name if someone asked you to point them out.

    Please.

    we have to be allowed to play somewhere on this freaking site.

    She didnt put this in support and motivation, she put it in Chit Chat, Fun and Games. She set the tone. that's all. Please please please stop being one of the people that believe that there is a group of people on this website that is your enemy.

    i cant take it anymore.

    edited for spelling before i get shredded for that ish too
    I thought about putting it under support and motivation, but thought I would get slammed for that as this isn't EXACTLY fitness related (as someone already pointed out). Hence the reason it's here.
  • Mel2626
    Mel2626 Posts: 342 Member
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    It's just what a large group of people (and you ALL know who you are) post when they have nothing better to say.

    I see this sentence about 5 times a day - referring to different posts that are left around the chit chat area of MFP that are similar or are inside jokes - it always makes me stabby.

    oh these horrible women always having fun. i wish they would just get fat and get off my free weight loss website, horrible creatures, i wish they would all just find G....

    really getting beaten down by all these people who wake up and decide to hate people on the internet who are silly in the chit chat forum. Like seriously, you dont like us, we can never make you like us, we arent trying to make you like us, what do you want? Do you really just want us to give up and leave and stop being health conscious and helping people? Is playing in the fun and games forums just too far - should we just be happy that we met most of our goals and just go away so we dont accidentally allow our success to hurt anyone's feelings. Are our little internet comments actually derailing your fitness goals and personal well-being?

    then just stop trying to judge an entire group of people that you couldn't even name if someone asked you to point them out.

    Please.

    we have to be allowed to play somewhere on this freaking site.

    She didnt put this in support and motivation, she put it in Chit Chat, Fun and Games. She set the tone. that's all. Please please please stop being one of the people that believe that there is a group of people on this website that is your enemy.

    i cant take it anymore.

    edited for spelling before i get shredded for that ish too

    I don't think anyone is my enemy (nor do I care to be quite honest) but I do think it's childish. She clearly posted it for support not for smug "just break up" comments. Is it supportive, genuine, original, sincere, kind, helpful etc? No! It's just someting that the same people post over and over again to amuse each other. If you still find it funny after seeing it posted 100 times a day then more power to you. I don't. I can't take the "just break up" comments (or the multitude of other copy and paste comments that end up on every thread) and you can't take that people complain about them. For the record, I've said this ONE TIME and ONE TIME only because this asinine comment was made on a friends post who I DO CARE about. So if you're lumping me in with people who constantly complain, then I guess you're judging too...
    '

    Yet you hijacked your own friend's thread based on 3 simple words that could have easily been ignored. Bravo.

    The thread was pretty much dead when she received the same SUPPORTIVE advice from many people. She already has ended it with him so moot point. I'm not here to argue and yes, of course I could have ignored it but I didn't. It's clear that everyone who is guilty of what I discussed will continue to stick together and spout insincere comments but I have no desire to be like that. I came to mfp to be supported and supportive but I guess others find it entertaining to act otherwise. I'm done here.
  • vkruithof
    vkruithof Posts: 227 Member
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    It's a weak minded and small hearted person that attacks someones inner weaknesses. I learned that years ago. Don't take anything to heart that a person like that says. I'm sure if he has half a conscience, he regrets his words in angst but may never tell you that. Move on knowing that you have learned that things said in the heat of the moment might feel good then, but won't feel good to you later; you can't take them back. "Speak in anger and make the best speach you will ever regret." One of my favorite quotes from a source I cannot currently remember.

    Move forward. You are worth more. You are changing yourself and making yourself better everday, not many people strive to be better, but you have. You'll find what you're looking for and that person won't make your mind spin wondering if you're less of a person.

    Good luck with your journey!
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
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    It's just what a large group of people (and you ALL know who you are) post when they have nothing better to say.

    I see this sentence about 5 times a day - referring to different posts that are left around the chit chat area of MFP that are similar or are inside jokes - it always makes me stabby.

    oh these horrible women always having fun. i wish they would just get fat and get off my free weight loss website, horrible creatures, i wish they would all just find G....

    really getting beaten down by all these people who wake up and decide to hate people on the internet who are silly in the chit chat forum. Like seriously, you dont like us, we can never make you like us, we arent trying to make you like us, what do you want? Do you really just want us to give up and leave and stop being health conscious and helping people? Is playing in the fun and games forums just too far - should we just be happy that we met most of our goals and just go away so we dont accidentally allow our success to hurt anyone's feelings. Are our little internet comments actually derailing your fitness goals and personal well-being?

    then just stop trying to judge an entire group of people that you couldn't even name if someone asked you to point them out.

    Please.

    we have to be allowed to play somewhere on this freaking site.

    She didnt put this in support and motivation, she put it in Chit Chat, Fun and Games. She set the tone. that's all. Please please please stop being one of the people that believe that there is a group of people on this website that is your enemy.

    i cant take it anymore.

    edited for spelling before i get shredded for that ish too

    You are so much better with words than I am. All of this times a billion.

    I approve these messages.
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    Options
    It's just what a large group of people (and you ALL know who you are) post when they have nothing better to say.

    I see this sentence about 5 times a day - referring to different posts that are left around the chit chat area of MFP that are similar or are inside jokes - it always makes me stabby.

    oh these horrible women always having fun. i wish they would just get fat and get off my free weight loss website, horrible creatures, i wish they would all just find G....

    really getting beaten down by all these people who wake up and decide to hate people on the internet who are silly in the chit chat forum. Like seriously, you dont like us, we can never make you like us, we arent trying to make you like us, what do you want? Do you really just want us to give up and leave and stop being health conscious and helping people? Is playing in the fun and games forums just too far - should we just be happy that we met most of our goals and just go away so we dont accidentally allow our success to hurt anyone's feelings. Are our little internet comments actually derailing your fitness goals and personal well-being?

    then just stop trying to judge an entire group of people that you couldn't even name if someone asked you to point them out.

    Please.

    we have to be allowed to play somewhere on this freaking site.

    She didnt put this in support and motivation, she put it in Chit Chat, Fun and Games. She set the tone. that's all. Please please please stop being one of the people that believe that there is a group of people on this website that is your enemy.

    i cant take it anymore.

    edited for spelling before i get shredded for that ish too
    I thought about putting it under support and motivation, but thought I would get slammed for that as this isn't EXACTLY fitness related (as someone already pointed out). Hence the reason it's here.

    Do you feel supported? Did you get the advice you needed?
  • neva4saken
    neva4saken Posts: 300 Member
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    you who ever said sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me, must've never had a "loved one" to say something corefully hurtful to them. Two years ago my EX-wife said words similar, she told me i was disgusting and that she didnt want to touch me. We would go months without intimacy. Well I am sure you've heard this advice by now in the thread however I used those words as a catalyst to becoming a better, wiser, stronger me. I had to learn that the only person that can help my self-esteem was mySELF. Which is why it's called self-esteem, however when we continue to put stock in others affirmation of us it molds our co-dependacy. Being loved is great, but when someone who once loved you know your darkest secrets and use them as weapons you still have to have enough mental fortitude to still believe in yourself and make it happen. As long as you decide to love then hurt is going to be involved, no one is perfect. The hurt may be severe but it's always possible. It's human nature, it's also human nature that when we fail at something we lash out and anything around us, men are very good at displaying anger. We use it to mask our own insecurities, fears, and frustrations. I suggest you process what was said and resolve within yourself no matter what is recycling in you, know that you are more than what was spoken. No matter how many hundreds of people encourage you and believe in you it's to no avail if you do not believe in yourself and become a better you. Use the negative for positive re-enforcement the pain will go away, the more you obsess over it the longer it will take. Don't give it home in your heart or mind, put it out and put him out too :-) every woman deserves to treated like a Queen and every man deserves to treated like a King. No one can de value you when you know you're priceless. Good luck to you and the hurt is only for a little while, but him knowing he lost a great thing could potentially haunt him forever. Become the good thing and then you'll be a great thing for someone who will appreciate you and your struggle. Grace and Peace
  • deadliftking__
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    Move on.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    My coworker said something to me once that really stuck.

    "Every woman is beautiful. You just have to find the man who can see that beauty."
  • bootsandfros
    bootsandfros Posts: 81 Member
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    people who are happy normally don't try to make others unhappy regardless of the situation. with that being said, focus on the positive. i'm sure you have so many other things to focus on that bring you joy. if you're a praying woman then say a prayer for him if you aren't then don't. whatever you do you need to remove him from your life 100%. i went thru your pics and you've done a great job. congrats on all of your success!
  • angelams1019
    angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
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    My coworker said something to me once that really stuck.

    "Every woman is beautiful. You just have to find the man who can see that beauty."

    Like! :flowerforyou:
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
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    I dont understand why you have to announce when you see something on the internet that is childish. 80% of the internet is childish. She clearly posted it in chit chat, not support. She probably wanted a little humor or comedic relief to break up the sad, dont you think?

    [
    No I didn't. I wanted support. I would have posted it under the other topic, but I've been here long enough to see people get slammed for posting things like this under topics they don't belong. Seeing as this isn't EXACTLY fitness related, I wanted to try to avoid the back talk. Guess it didn't work!
  • supertracylynn
    supertracylynn Posts: 1,338 Member
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    Do you respect him?
    Do you value his opinion?
    Do you think he is intelligent on that particular subject (femininity, confidence, ability to spot sexiness, etc)?

    Is it possible that he was saying something mean because he was angry, and he saw an opportunity to attack your vulnerability?
    Is it possible that he said something that you have been struggling with?

    You don't need a husband like that, a boyfriend like that, and that certainly isn't a friend. Tell him to lose your number, and see a therapist to work through your issues. (I did, and it was the best choice I've made!)
  • ctalimenti
    ctalimenti Posts: 865 Member
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    You're actually quite hot...and pretty...

    What's that old quote? Something like "It's none of your business what other people think about you."

    Let it roll off your back. Don't give those remarks any valuable real estate in your head.

    It was an argument and he wasn't following the rules of arguing. You don't attack people emotionally like that. He probably felt under attack so he lashed out trying to hurt you and since he knew where you were vulnerable, he hit those spots. Please don't give it any credence.
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    It's clear that everyone who is guilty of what I discussed will continue to stick together and spout insincere comments but I have no desire to be like that.

    You are categorizing and attacking an entire group people. You're "sick of it" as you said, so stay out of this section. It's a really simple solution.
  • ShaunShaunphenomenon
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    sometimes things get hated and you both say some things that you really didn't mean. I have done it and I've been there myself. You just have to chalk it up as him being a jerk, I would move past it at the very least, we are usually jerks when we are hurt (I know I can't be friends with any of my ex gf's so I know where he's coming from and he can't be around anyone and see you happy if he isn't)
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Oh and just so everyone knows, I did break ties with him! I respect myself too much to put up with that. I may be in a fragile state of mind right now, but I know I don't deserve that!

    Thanks again for all the awesome responses! You are all great!

    Which is why Dani's advice, "Just break up" - is the best advice you'll get. It doesn't mean just break up with a boyfriend, etc....it can also mean to end things, walk away from the situation...just break up with whatever it is that is bringing negativity into your life etc. The phrase holds a lot of meaning and applies to so much of life...breaking up with your "bad" self, etc.

    So when Dani or anyone says, "Just break up..." ...really think about it.
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    I dont understand why you have to announce when you see something on the internet that is childish. 80% of the internet is childish. She clearly posted it in chit chat, not support. She probably wanted a little humor or comedic relief to break up the sad, dont you think?

    [
    No I didn't. I wanted support. I would have posted it under the other topic, but I've been here long enough to see people get slammed for posting things like this under topics they don't belong. Seeing as this isn't EXACTLY fitness related, I wanted to try to avoid the back talk. Guess it didn't work!

    Understandable. Did my comment offend or upset you?
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
    Options
    It's just what a large group of people (and you ALL know who you are) post when they have nothing better to say.

    I see this sentence about 5 times a day - referring to different posts that are left around the chit chat area of MFP that are similar or are inside jokes - it always makes me stabby.

    oh these horrible women always having fun. i wish they would just get fat and get off my free weight loss website, horrible creatures, i wish they would all just find G....

    really getting beaten down by all these people who wake up and decide to hate people on the internet who are silly in the chit chat forum. Like seriously, you dont like us, we can never make you like us, we arent trying to make you like us, what do you want? Do you really just want us to give up and leave and stop being health conscious and helping people? Is playing in the fun and games forums just too far - should we just be happy that we met most of our goals and just go away so we dont accidentally allow our success to hurt anyone's feelings. Are our little internet comments actually derailing your fitness goals and personal well-being?

    then just stop trying to judge an entire group of people that you couldn't even name if someone asked you to point them out.

    Please.

    we have to be allowed to play somewhere on this freaking site.

    She didnt put this in support and motivation, she put it in Chit Chat, Fun and Games. She set the tone. that's all. Please please please stop being one of the people that believe that there is a group of people on this website that is your enemy.

    i cant take it anymore.

    edited for spelling before i get shredded for that ish too
    I thought about putting it under support and motivation, but thought I would get slammed for that as this isn't EXACTLY fitness related (as someone already pointed out). Hence the reason it's here.

    Do you feel supported? Did you get the advice you needed?
    Absolutely! I'm extremely grateful for the kind responses I've received. That was just in response to the person who thought I posted it here because I wanted comedic relief or that I posted it here to set a "tone." I did not have a tone in mind when I posted.
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
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    I dont understand why you have to announce when you see something on the internet that is childish. 80% of the internet is childish. She clearly posted it in chit chat, not support. She probably wanted a little humor or comedic relief to break up the sad, dont you think?

    [
    No I didn't. I wanted support. I would have posted it under the other topic, but I've been here long enough to see people get slammed for posting things like this under topics they don't belong. Seeing as this isn't EXACTLY fitness related, I wanted to try to avoid the back talk. Guess it didn't work!

    Understandable. Did my comment offend or upset you?
    No. I just thought you misunderstood why I was posting. Didn't want advice on how to handle the guy, just on the emotions he caused. I do understand where you are coming from though. Thanks!