Secretly Wishing Your Ex Gets Fat/ter

fara180
fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
in Chit-Chat
Is this normal? Ever since I started my weight loss journey (and found myself single) I have found myself wishing/hoping that my ex (who is also overweight) stays that way. I know that's bad because it's basically hoping he has bad health but I can't help it. There's just such a GOOD feeling about the thought of me getting fit and him getting worse off. Maybe it's got something to do with revenge. thoughts?
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Replies

  • jsiricos
    jsiricos Posts: 340 Member
    hahah.. I felt the same.. still do actually..
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
    hahah.. I felt the same.. still do actually..

    Thank God I'm not alone!
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Nope.
    Honestly I think that is an awful way to think. Why bother with negativity?

    Work on YOU. Eff the rest.
  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
    Well I gotta say overweight=/=unhealthy, just like skinny=/=healthy.

    But now that that's out of the way seriously, thats pretty normal I think. Moreso if it was a relationship turned sour vs a mutual parting of ways for some reason.
    Hell, I gotta admit...Its not even ex-specific! I had an old coworker who promised me she'd help to put me out of my misery if I ever gained more weight.
    Needless to say I find the fact that she's since gained 20-30 pounds whereas I've been losing is absolutely hilarious, based on that comment alone, and will be delightfully smug if I ever see her when I get to my goal weight.
  • ashesfromfire
    ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
    randomly decided to facebook stalk my ex two days ago - holy cow he's gotten fat........... YAY:blushing:
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
    randomly decided to facebook stalk my ex two days ago - holy cow he's gotten fat........... YAY:blushing:

    I did that too! I know we should focus on ourselves but it's too hard to avoid that feeling when someone has done me wrong and I want to know if karma has gotten them yet.
  • Amatambi
    Amatambi Posts: 72
    randomly decided to facebook stalk my ex two days ago - holy cow he's gotten fat........... YAY:blushing:

    LOLOL That seriously was great.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    randomly decided to facebook stalk my ex two days ago - holy cow he's gotten fat........... YAY:blushing:

    Do you not hear how rude that makes you sound?
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    It's normal. Just like hoping you're wearing an especially hot outfit when you happen to run into an ex somewhere.
    But it won't last long, as you move on to focusing on yourself and bettering yourself.
  • riikka12
    riikka12 Posts: 33 Member
    Actually, I wish my boyfriend's ex will get fat...REALLY FAT! :devil: :devil: :devil: lol
  • TC1728
    TC1728 Posts: 264 Member
    I think whatever you want to do to motivate yourself it's ok. If you want to feel better about yourself at your ex's expense, fine. You go girls!! I recently went back to my hometown and ran into a high school ex and she should have her own zip code. teach her to dump me.......
  • ashesfromfire
    ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
    randomly decided to facebook stalk my ex two days ago - holy cow he's gotten fat........... YAY:blushing:

    Do you not hear how rude that makes you sound?

    Yeah - I know - I'm a bad person.
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
    The self righteous...gotta love 'em.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    The self righteous...gotta love 'em.

    If that's directed @ gonzo, she's not being self-righteous. She just is a sweetheart. And I do love that.

    Edit: typo. :grumble:
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
    randomly decided to facebook stalk my ex two days ago - holy cow he's gotten fat........... YAY:blushing:

    Do you not hear how rude that makes you sound?

    sorry...not trying to be confrontational, but: "do you not hear how rude that makes you sound?" should be "do you not see how rude that makes you seem?"
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    randomly decided to facebook stalk my ex two days ago - holy cow he's gotten fat........... YAY:blushing:

    Do you not hear how rude that makes you sound?

    Yeah - I know - I'm a bad person.
    No, but it's very counterproductive. Why work on this positive healthy happy new you if you are secretly sitting at a computer laughing about how an ex got fat?
    You look great. Who cares about a man who wasn't man enough for you???
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
    I feel like a lot of things can be counterproductive but it doesn't make them easier to ditch.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I feel like a lot of things can be counterproductive but it doesn't make them easier to ditch.

    Look at that smile, and you are so young. Lady, you have so much ahead of you.
    Enjoy life. Let the ex freaking drown in McDonalds if he wants.
  • sz8soon
    sz8soon Posts: 816 Member
    Nope- I've been fat, hell I am still fat- I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

    Growing up I was the fat kid in my family even though I wasn't fat. My sister was tiny- like under 100 pounds tiny. After her second child she quickly ballooned up to my size, maybe a little bigger. People always asked me if I was happy she got fat or if I felt some kind of "redemption"- that answer is NO- I feel bad!
  • ashesfromfire
    ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
    [/quote]
    No, but it's very counterproductive. Why work on this positive healthy happy new you if you are secretly sitting at a computer laughing about how an ex got fat?
    You look great. Who cares about a man who wasn't man enough for you???
    [/quote]


    Eh - we dated...hmmmmmmmm..... 5 years ago. We had a really weird breakup (very soon after I met the man who I'm still with today and very happy) I was just curious what was up with him since we broke on such weird terms -
    back then he was really big on being super fit and did not like that I was such a chub chub - so yeah, made me feel good in a really cheap way.
    Comparably if my significant other and I ever broke and he gained weight I doubt I'd be pleased - because he's never made MY weight an issue.
  • ashesfromfire
    ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
    No, but it's very counterproductive. Why work on this positive healthy happy new you if you are secretly sitting at a computer laughing about how an ex got fat?
    You look great. Who cares about a man who wasn't man enough for you???


    Eh - we dated...hmmmmmmmm..... 5 years ago. We had a really weird breakup (very soon after I met the man who I'm still with today and very happy) I was just curious what was up with him since we broke on such weird terms -
    back then he was really big on being super fit and did not like that I was such a chub chub - so yeah, made me feel good in a really cheap way.
    Comparably if my significant other and I ever broke and he gained weight I doubt I'd be pleased - because he's never made MY weight an issue.
    [/quote]
  • Pepper2185
    Pepper2185 Posts: 994 Member
    I don't know what my ex is up to, but I wish him well. Just because we didn't work out doesn't mean he should be miserable.

    He always neglected to include a leg day in his workout routine, and would actually benefit from some extra meat there :)
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    No, but it's very counterproductive. Why work on this positive healthy happy new you if you are secretly sitting at a computer laughing about how an ex got fat?
    You look great. Who cares about a man who wasn't man enough for you???


    Eh - we dated...hmmmmmmmm..... 5 years ago. We had a really weird breakup (very soon after I met the man who I'm still with today and very happy) I was just curious what was up with him since we broke on such weird terms -
    back then he was really big on being super fit and did not like that I was such a chub chub - so yeah, made me feel good in a really cheap way.
    Comparably if my significant other and I ever broke and he gained weight I doubt I'd be pleased - because he's never made MY weight an issue.
    [/quote]
    I truly don't wish to seem like a brat on this issue, lol. I just think that people should really revel in their own accomplishments verses laugh at others downfalls.
    And I know that can be hard with a history... but what you and you alone has done is amazing in itself.
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
    No, but it's very counterproductive. Why work on this positive healthy happy new you if you are secretly sitting at a computer laughing about how an ex got fat?
    You look great. Who cares about a man who wasn't man enough for you???


    Eh - we dated...hmmmmmmmm..... 5 years ago. We had a really weird breakup (very soon after I met the man who I'm still with today and very happy) I was just curious what was up with him since we broke on such weird terms -
    back then he was really big on being super fit and did not like that I was such a chub chub - so yeah, made me feel good in a really cheap way.
    Comparably if my significant other and I ever broke and he gained weight I doubt I'd be pleased - because he's never made MY weight an issue.
    [/quote]

    I understand where you are coming from completely! My ex was always dropping hints about my weight, such as "Are you sure you want to order THAT?" (at a restaurant) or "You really should go to the gym with your friends." and things like that...which I always thought was hypocritical since he wasn't in good shape either. So I get the cheap/dirty/rotten way it makes you feel good haha.
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member
    Normal? Yes. Healthy? No. But I agree with adini, I think as you lose weight and improve on your health and fitness, feelings of revenge will fade :smile:
  • DamnImASexyBitch
    DamnImASexyBitch Posts: 740 Member
    I don't care or think of exes at all. But I do wish some of my coworkers would get fat. Fat and pregnant even...lol
  • pili90
    pili90 Posts: 302 Member
    I think it is normal, but not a nice thing to do...
    But I guess it depends a lot on the way things end up...I'm friends with my exs, most of them....
  • Topher1978
    Topher1978 Posts: 975 Member
    Y'all are sick. It isn't normal, it is twisted and WRONG. That is the true definition of hatred. Wishing evil upon another human being. You should all be ashamed, and go pray for ex-whatevers. And pray for them every day that they will have all good things until you actually mean what you are praying. Resentment will kill you. Don't give these people all that free rent inside your head.
  • joveen86
    joveen86 Posts: 121 Member
    Why is everyone caring so much about random thoughts in other people's heads!! It makes her happy to think of him fat, it didn't actually make him fat that she thought it, it didn't stop her from going to work or working out or being healthy!! You all honestly never had useless thoughts being good or bad!!
    You who never done this, cast the first stone!
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
    Is this normal? Ever since I started my weight loss journey (and found myself single) I have found myself wishing/hoping that my ex (who is also overweight) stays that way. I know that's bad because it's basically hoping he has bad health but I can't help it. There's just such a GOOD feeling about the thought of me getting fit and him getting worse off. Maybe it's got something to do with revenge. thoughts?

    I agree with an above poster that the best thing you can do if you are feeling this way is to keep focusing on improving yourself.

    If you are being serious, no I don't think think this is normal. He was someone you once cared about and you should want the best for him. I am happy to see every prior girlfriend of mine be happy and successful. I wish the best for everyone, even people that I am not particularly fond of.

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