HOW is it selfish?

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  • virichi08
    virichi08 Posts: 465 Member
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    I have been told that I am selfish for wanting another child. I have a beautiful little girl and two awesome step sons and I want another. People will say I am tempting fate by wanting to have another child because I already have three perfectly healthy children and if I have another they could have all sorts of birth defects or deformities. What kind of BS is that?? SMH some people are just judgmental, negative a&*holes.

    To have children or not is a personal choice. I don't fault any of my friends for not having children and they don't fault me for having them and wanting to expand my family further. Live and let live.
    WOW...guess SOMEONE will always have something to say. if u can care for the child, dont see how it is selfish
  • Dlibo1013
    Dlibo1013 Posts: 883 Member
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    It is not, it is your chocie
  • thescrumisfun
    thescrumisfun Posts: 355
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    I get this all the time from my grandma when I say I don't want kids. Granted I'm only going to be turning 20, but it looks the world is becoming more and more messed up as I become older...I don't want to bring a child into this if everything keeps going downhill.
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
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    Children are our future... It requires significant sacrifice to raise a child, a sacrifice someone else made for you so you can have your life now. Its a beautiful sacrifice.. giving yourself so someone else can have life. That is why people view it as selfish when you don't reciprocate that sacrifice when your time comes. I completely understand this point of view.. if everyone decided they didn't want kids the human race would cease to exist in one generation.

    With all that said.. I don't really want kids myself either.

    If the human race depended on me reproducing, I would have a few. The way things are now, I just dont see the need and dont have a desire to.
  • SeafoodSoop
    SeafoodSoop Posts: 5
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    No idea how it could be selfish not having kids, it doesn't hurt anyone at all. Maybe if the human race were on the brink of extinction, lol.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    If the only people who had kids were those who really wanted them, those who did would be able to have more kids without worrying about overpopulating, too.
    Children are our future... It requires significant sacrifice to raise a child, a sacrifice someone else made for you so you can have your life now.
    If you see it as a sacrifice, you're doing it wrong.
  • ElizaRoche
    ElizaRoche Posts: 2,005 Member
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    thats so annoying !!!! i hear that all the time!! glad I'm not the only one. i do not want to have kids... ever.... i think its exactly the opposite of being selfish!! the world sucks!! im not raising a kid in this F'd up place. I like my freedom, independance and money. Id rather travel the world with my partner and not be tied down. i guess that sounds selfish, but the alt ernative would be worse. i know i dont want to be a parent, so being forced into it just because, is stupid and selfish.

    agreed, I feel the same way
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
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    It isn't selfish for someone to not have children. And it isn't really selfish for someone to have children.

    I don't get this logic.
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
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    I and my 11 brothers and sisters (yes you read that correctly) were born by a woman who has kids but has never been a mother. I hate the woman with all my heart, for being so selfish to bring 12 children into this world and throw them to the winds. People like my biological mother are the selfish ones. I grew up without any idea of love and what a family was because of her. Because of that, I believe that people who choose not to have children have every right to make that decision. A child is another life that you are responsible for. Some people are not meant to be parents. I don't know why they should be judged for it.

    That being said, I am 9 months pregnant with my first child, and I want to use this opportunity to be the mother I never had. I hated kids until I became pregnant(sorry parents) but I love mine with all my heart. Either way you choose is perfectly fine.
  • MileHighTexan
    MileHighTexan Posts: 29 Member
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    No. I knew when I was in my mid twenties that I didn't want kids and twenty years later I still don't. I think the selfish people are the ones who have more than 2 kids, stretch their resources and the earth's resources as well. For all of you who disagree, glad you have your opinion and I'll keep mine!
  • Tank_Girl
    Tank_Girl Posts: 372 Member
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    I dont particularly like kids, i avoid interacting with them as best i can... Just dont have that instinct
    my nephews and nieces know im uncomfortable around them but i do try my best with them and they love me anyway lol
    i dont really want kids as i enjoy my life as it is.
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
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    My husband and I are childless by choice, and I have been called selfish on a couple of occasions by acquaintances for it. I've been told that I'm denying our parents grandchildren.

    Whatever.

    It's no skin off my back, and I don't give any thought to the opinions of others in this matter.
  • thoseblueeyes
    thoseblueeyes Posts: 812 Member
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    People say stupid things.... Having children or not is personal, It isn't anyones business. Do want you want to do with your life and be happy in whatever you choose.
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
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    i'm glad i'm not overpopulating the planet. yes, i have heard that before if i tell someone i don't want kids. fine, then let me have some, scream at them all the time because i can't stand babies or small children, and possibly struggle financially to raise them. that sounds better....oh, wait...
  • JessicaRobin67
    JessicaRobin67 Posts: 275 Member
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    In my opinion, it's selfish for people to bring babies into this world and can't provide for them and/or terrible parents!
  • devastation77
    devastation77 Posts: 233
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    for someone to NOT have children....?

    I have seen this on some message boards around the web. People will get torn into because they don't agree with somebody's stance on kids? Seriously? Who the hell are these people?

    I don't believe I would ever want kids, and that's the way it is.
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
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    and ****, there are a lot of unwanted older kids here in the us, not to mention all of the other babies/children that need to be adopted and get out of third world countries to survive. so if you have children of your own, you're just as selfish.
    ...is that uncalled for? whoops if it is
  • devastation77
    devastation77 Posts: 233
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    My husband and I are childless by choice, and I have been called selfish on a couple of occasions by acquaintances for it. I've been told that I'm denying our parents grandchildren.

    Whatever.

    It's no skin off my back, and I don't give any thought to the opinions of others in this matter.

    Wow, those people are idiotic with the power of a thousand suns.
  • JennyLisT
    JennyLisT Posts: 402 Member
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    I haven't been called selfish, but I do get a lot of "Oh, sure, you don't want them NOW" in the most condescending tone imaginable from my extended family. I'm not sure why, since I consider family reunions to be a very effective form of birth control.

    I get that I'm 24 and that some women change their minds, but I do have some health issues (shared by my family), and I would hate the person I would be if I chose to bring a child into that. Additionally, I'm "medically unlikely" to be able to conceive. It was the best news a doctor ever gave to me.
  • Caged_Heat
    Caged_Heat Posts: 1,031 Member
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    "Do you have any kids?"

    "No."

    "I'm sorry."

    I hate that. :grumble:

    Then they suggest you adopt... :huh:

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