Worst pickup lines you've either used or had used on you...

Options
1246

Replies

  • FitBeto
    FitBeto Posts: 2,121 Member
    Options
    Bro listen up - all women care about is themselves. Give them space they want to be closer. Be close they want space. Give all your time up for them they want you to take time for yourself. These have all happend to me, your bro doctor.

    So when you are using pick-up lines you dont need anything fancy - you aren't looking for a wifey. You are looking for a 22, 34, or whatever dollar you are willing do spend on drinks one-nighter.

    So here's what you do, they want to know alot about you, so lie. Listen to what they say. Us good bro agents have very good perrifrials, so as their lips move we stare at the chest - unnoticed, like a NINJA (broinja we call it). So if you have a girlfriend then practice this on her, so when she dumps you after realizing you hookup with skanks at the bar you will have perfected your art of boob-watching.

    Get her to talk about her dogs, anything at all thats personal or she will blab about! If shes with a friend this makes it better - you will never run out of things to talk about, plus you can pick both up (literally happened to your bro-sensay before!)

    You literally have to walk up and start with this : Let me buy you a drink (or any variation of the phrase) if she says yes then its set. If she is willing to take a drink from you then she will want to sleep with you! Challenge her to shots and get them nice and drunk - then play some pool with them, when the blood flows and you are drinking you dont realize you are so drunk until you sit down. If she proceeds to pass out then its a homerun! You can carry her out. But if she is coherant enough then you havent done your job. If shes drunk and not wanting to go home with you make her cry - in otherwords listen to more crap till she opens up REALLY to you then she will confide then trust and walah! 3-4 hours of time for 30-40 min of sex ! Another knotch in the bed post, and another practice session successful!

    How many women want to *****slap this dude with me right now???

    what is the *****? does that say dirty?
  • SteveJWatson
    SteveJWatson Posts: 1,225 Member
    Options
    Bloke - "What are you drinking ladies?"
    Girls - "Vodka & cranberry juice please."

    Bloke - "Wow, do you all have cystitis?


    This one wins!
  • tmarie2715
    tmarie2715 Posts: 1,111 Member
    Options
    What kinda eggs would like with your breakfast?

    That note was left on my car. First I hate eggs, second that is a bit presumptuous.

    The note is actually really scary. How did he know which was your car? :O

    You're supposed to say "unfertilized!" Hahaha
  • jenillawafer
    jenillawafer Posts: 426 Member
    Options
    Oh, I've heard a BUNCH.
    My favorite one though was, "Hey, have you ever heard your name whispered from a mountain top?"
    Me: "No, I don't think so.."
    With him flexing, he whispers, "Jennifer.." over his bicep.
  • AJL_Daddy
    AJL_Daddy Posts: 525 Member
    Options
    Does this look infected?
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    Options
    Well, I am too dang shy to hit on a woman anyway, so I have never uesd a pick up line. But the two that come to mind that I have heard in various places:

    Guy: Excuse me. Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

    And...

    Guy: Does your dad own the Gillete razor company?
    Girl: No, why?
    Guy: Because you have GOT to be the best a man can get!
  • LosinItAll2012
    LosinItAll2012 Posts: 238 Member
    Options
    No one ever uses bad pick up lines on me.....


    *sad barbie*


    I was thinking the same thing.... :sad:
  • miracole
    miracole Posts: 492 Member
    Options
    ha ha I've had a few...

    My favourite:

    "you're really beautiful, but you're so tall! To be with a girl like you I'd have to know that I can take you in a fight..."

    He followed that up by suggesting we wrestle...nice.


    Or there was the street artist in London who was doing a sketch of me:

    "if you like how this turns out maybe you'll come back to my place and we can do a full body portrait..."
  • rpphillip
    rpphillip Posts: 230 Member
    Options
    it has been a long time but when I was single this guy said

    I know just what you need!

    and after I was married

    I wont tell him if you don't
  • KenziesFrenzies
    KenziesFrenzies Posts: 1,014 Member
    Options
    I've actually gotten: "Mind if I find out if the carpet matches the curtains, Red?"

    Wanted to strike him in the FACE.
  • AmandasaurasRex
    AmandasaurasRex Posts: 325
    Options
    Oh my goodness! Where to start!? I think "Sup lil mama" is by far the most annoying one, but definitely not the worst. I once had a guy come back up to the place I worked (retail) 20 mins after having a convo w/him and his 4-5 YO daughter. He handed me a folded note, told me REPEATEDLY not to read it until he was out of the store, while backing up and holding his hands up like I had a gun. The note essentially told me to come over so he could rail me, and gave me his address. Another time, I was grocery shopping with my mom (years ago) and a guy started hitting on my mom and making her giggle like a little girl (adorable) I made a comment something like, "Watch out momma, I'm gonna have to tell dad he's got some competition." the guy then turns to me and said something to the effect of "Actually, I was trying to get your attention, but I guess it's not working." Of course, my mom then tried to talk me into getting to know him. That boy turned my momma into his wingman! ROFL I think my favorite by far though was one that happened several months ago. This weird guy was trying to tell me that he was sore from working out (but was phrasing it like a question while leaning up against the jewelry counter and doing standing pushups) and then told me he stays at home and watches his niece all day. I told him I'm not a fan of kids and he ran off. There was a guy at work that not too long ago that kept trying to put his hands on me and give me a massage and my head manager went looking for him to kick him out. Dude, I get weird people all the time at work... Oh and drive thrus! I have an awkward romance w/the guy at the Wendy's drive thru by work. At first, he was sweet, but once when I asked for ketchup, he held onto my hand and didn't want to let it go. I had to drive away w/my hand out the window to break the hold while he yelled out, "You're really cute!" Now when I pull up, he always says something like, "HEY! ITS YOU!" with an astonished look on his face. Maybe I should start paying in cash instead of giving him my card.... *sigh* What can I say? I love my JBC sans the C....:heart:
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
    Options
    Some guy said to me "You're the hottest thing not on wheels" right before asking me out. What does that even mean? Is he more attracted to vehicles than women?

    It means he prefers his girls in Heely's
  • AmandasaurasRex
    AmandasaurasRex Posts: 325
    Options
    Oh, I've heard a BUNCH.
    My favorite one though was, "Hey, have you ever heard your name whispered from a mountain top?"
    Me: "No, I don't think so.."
    With him flexing, he whispers, "Jennifer.." over his bicep.
    OH MY WOW! I love this!! I love cheesy pick up lines!! They make me swoon :smooched:
  • SwimFan1981
    SwimFan1981 Posts: 1,430 Member
    Options
    Does this look infected?

    :laugh:
  • supahstar71
    supahstar71 Posts: 926 Member
    Options
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    Bloke - "What are you drinking ladies?"
    Girls - "Vodka & cranberry juice please."

    Bloke - "Wow, do you all have cystitis?



    You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    Options
    I have a beanie that says HG on it (actually it's the one in my current profile picture)

    I've been known to say " I need a hug. All I'm missing is U"

    It's had mixed results.
  • CharliesInCharge
    CharliesInCharge Posts: 278 Member
    Options
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    Bloke - "What are you drinking ladies?"
    Girls - "Vodka & cranberry juice please."

    Bloke - "Wow, do you all have cystitis?



    You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?

    OMG wow :LOL
  • Shara126
    Shara126 Posts: 144 Member
    Options
    "You look gooder than a government check" and NO, I AM NOT KIDDING!!!
  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
    Options
    azz, gas or grass.. nobody rides for free....
  • jagh09
    jagh09 Posts: 555 Member
    Options
    "Is your daddy a terrorist? Cuz baby, you the BOMB!"

Categories