Getting picked on about what you eat at work?

OddballExtreme

Before I get to the point of this story, here's a little bit of background. I am Vietnamese-American, and I'm used to eating white rice without anything on it. I have a meat and a vegetable accompanying that white rice to give me some flavor. I also have Type 2 diabetes, meaning I have to watch how much rice I'm eating.

Now that you have that info, here's the story.

At my job on Monday, a supervisor noticed my white rice and started asking, "Why didn't you put gravy or butter on that rice?"

I answered, "I've never had anything on my rice in my life. Besides, I've got the other foods for flavor."

He came back with, "Oh, come on, that's not real rice. Real rice has something on it for flavor."

I couldn't believe he had the nerve to look at what I was eating and claim to tell me how to eat my own lunch.


Yesterday, I'm eating my lunch, and again, he comes up and says, "Where's the salt and pepper for the rice?"

I sighed and said, "I told you yesterday. I've got plenty of flavor from the other foods."

He sat at the table behind me and said, "Just leave the lunch with me, and I'll have plenty of ways to grease it up."


I was getting very annoyed by this, so this morning I spoke with my supervisor (not the same supervisor) and told her what he was doing to me. I said, "It took a year for me to lose 50 pounds, and it's like he's trying to make me gain it back. I don't know if he's trying to joke around, but I don't find it very funny."

She agreed with me and said, "Yeah, that butter and gravy would not be of any help in your trying to stay in shape. I'll tell him to stop. Thanks for telling me."

I think she told him because I didn't see him at lunch today. What I eat is my business, and what others eat is their business.

Has this happened to you? Has anyone gotten into your business over the food you eat at work (either very healthy or not)?

Kmenczynski88

Yep, i get it all the time....

I get - how come you never indulge in sweets or fast food?
I get - how come you eat plain noodles/rice/etc?

People say it because they don't understand. They never will.....

Don't let anyone else steer you away from your goals. Eat how you want and block out all of the nonsense. I bet any money is you eat clean and exercise like i anticipate you do... you look better then he does. Most people respect my eating preferences and decisions, but from time to time people will give me "advice" like in your situation. I usually respond with because I'm in better shape then you and want to keep it that way. Keep doing you.

Alatariel75

I consider myself lucky that noone comments on my food choices at work. The people I consider even luckier are my co-workers, because they wouldn't want to even try. Why do people put up with this?

Good on you for talking to your supervisor and having a stop put to it. I also recommend the blank faced, one eyebrow slightly cocked silent "what the F makes you think that this is an appropriate conversation" stare until they get really uncomfortable and go away...

Topher1978

Mountains out of mole hills. Rediculous.

EvanKeel

Maybe I'm just wired differently and I heard this conversation going down a certain way in my head, but really...

It sounded like was hitting on/flirting with you, in that sort of inept way guys sometimes have when we think we're being charming but aren't.

darrensurrey

Here's my short reply:

At my job on Monday, a supervisor noticed my white rice and started asking, "Why didn't you put gravy or butter on that rice?"

EWWW! GRAVY on rice??? BUTTER on rice? EWWW!

You had meat and veg to go with it. That's more than enough. That's how I have always eaten rice with my family.

ApexLeader

i find it ironic that a non-asian guy is telling an asian person about "real rice"

thought it does seem like he was trying to harmlessly chit chat with you and you went to your supervisor over it. i think that says a lot about you.

jynxxxed

I don't see how that would bother you, it sounded like he was just joking.. but okay. I'm glad he stopped I guess.

crystalflame

Seriously? Some people. Why do they give a rat's *kitten* what you're eating? It's not going in their mouths. Good for you for making it stop, you don't need that.

dsjohndrow

Mostly I get fat people commenting on my portions and variety. I eat nuts, fruit, and a specially proportioned meals. Most of the others buy something at the cafeteria (which is not bad, just not always what I eat.).

In this case, I would have told him him to keep his mouth shut. you are a human with rights and the ability to set boundaries.

Maybe you should get that t-shirt that says: "How about a nice hot cup of shut the f*&^k up?"

kingkoopaluv

where in the world do people people put butter or gravy on rice? i'm guessing middle america on this one.

hiyomi

Yep, I get the same from friends. Instead of getting mcdoubles at Mcdonalds now, I get the one meat/one cheese regular cheeseburger. About 100-200 calories less, and my friends "Why don't you just get the mcdouble? Ur paying the same for less, that's stupid" and I'll say because I'm trying to cut less calories and they still don't seem to understand, they think of it as just one meat and one cheese more. When that adds up to 200 calories or more. Or when they tell me to get a "large size" because its only a few cents more and "we will eat it for you" and its like ugh no I DO WANT the large fries, but I'm not going to get it, because of a few cents and watch you guys picking off my own french fries. If you want more french fries, YOU get them and do not be picking off my own.

LaurenOliver

Who the heck puts gravy on rice?

BOYZ2MENORAH

Mountains out of mole hills. Rediculous.

my first thought; i've got bigger fish to fry than to care about someone else's feelings on MY lunch

KenosFeoh

I've only gotten flack when I've microwaved leftover fish at lunch. I'd have to agree; fish smells pretty disgusting, but it's such a good food!

I think you might have taken the rice comments more offensively than he intended them. I suspect that he was trying to make conversation more than he was criticizing the way you eat rice.

Of course I wasn't there, so I don't know.

penrbrown

I'm ... not sure why this would bother you so much? Why not just tell him it's how you like your rice instead of taking it to higher ups?

saintspoon

Maybe I'm just wired differently and I heard this conversation going down a certain way in my head, but really...

It sounded like was hitting on/flirting with you, in that sort of inept way guys sometimes have when we think we're being charming but aren't.

Yeah I think he was just trying to find a way to talk to you ... maybe not even to flirt but just to joke around for the social aspect of it! You need to think of some snappy comebacks lady... way more fulfilling than teliing a supervisor :ohwell:

edited to correct typo

KenosFeoh

P.S: I like a little butter (maybe half a pat) on my rice because it tastes nice and creamy that way.

Brunner26_2

I think he was just joking around, but I've been in similar situations. Just yesterday I was offered a piece of cake and I declined and another coworker said "See, I told you. No fun."

tekwriter

i agree with evankeel sounds like he is trying to hit on you.

ldrosophila

Thats good you talked to the supervisor. Dont know what his stupid kick was, but that sounds just annoying. If you didnt have type II I'd say just to be obnoxious bring in a big bowl of nothing but rice just to get his goat and tell him you are a supertaster and can taste the minerals from the soil in the rice. I'd come up with some absurd explanation.

Iceman420

Ever since I started this new diet, my co-workers have been giving me crap about what I'm eating. It gets annoying, but I have to work with these guys. Can't drive them away.

Moxie42

Perfect topic for me today! Just had a 2 hour bicker-fest with a couple coworkers who were getting all irritated that I didn't want a cupcake! I offered to give it to someone else, bring it home for my fiance, etc. and they wouldn't accept it. One even said, "I'm not eating one unless she [me] does, and you have to eat it here so I can make sure you eat it" Then they proceeded to make fun of me. Ironically, both constantly complain about their weight. I'm really not tempted, not even annoyed...just shocked at what a big deal they're making out of it. It's kinda funny to me actually, that it bothers them SO much. Well, we'll see who's laughing when they gain another 10 each, and I lose that much and more!

Unfortunately, there are always people who are going to try to convince you "to just have one" or "just TRY it with butter," etc. Just smile to yourself, knowing that your choices are leading to a healthier weight and lifestyle. Try not to let them get to you too much- when that happens, it can be tempting to give in just to shut them up.

spangey13

As a white person, I suddenly feel I've been doing rice the wrong way my whole life too. I usually have rice with meat and veges. Certainly not gravy - that's for roasts, and butter is for bread that is fresh out of the oven. At least it is in my life.

If anyone comments on my food my usual reply is "I'm eating this, you're eating that. That's why I look like me, and you look like you."

chunkydunk714

I'm ... not sure why this would bother you so much? Why not just tell him it's how you like your rice instead of taking it to higher ups?

I have to agree with this one....im sure he meant no harm but I can totally understand the annoyance of having to deal with someone like that in the breakroom. Had that happen to me by a co-worker and finally one day I just told them to back off and its really not funny anymore...and they did. Communication goes a long way

jdhosier

I bring green smoothies to work sometimes. I get some really funny looks and even some odd comments. I laugh and offer to let people taste it. A few have.

I see you are from Montgomery, Alabama. I guess I am not surprised he would suggest gravy or some other greasy thing on rice.

What he did was harassment because it made you uncomfortable at work.

The best I can say is to try to ignore them or, in a work situation, just tell someone like you did.

Congrats on your recent weight loss.

lawrahmck

Do people really put gravy and/or butter on rice?!! wtf?!

anyway yes. I get that too. I get the "are you on a diet?" as I make up my afternoon snack of cottage cheese & tomato on rice crackers. Or add my tuna to my daily salad.

Umm.. no.. I just like to eat well... It's not a diet...

magerum

I'm not sure why it even bothers you? Shrug it off and ignore him.

Superchas

Rice is nice.
The stickier the better but no to butter or gravy.

Not too sensitive to criticism but glad the hoover noises have stopped.

i enjoy everyone of my calories log it and if necessary burn it off.

Off to do that now

OddballExtreme

Okay, to answer up on all these posts in one shot:

1. If this is his idea of hitting on me, you should know he's married.
2. If this is his idea of a joke, I didn't think it was particularly funny. I honestly felt like he was denouncing my Asian culture.
3. He's actually in great shape, which is surprising for a guy who I saw eating both a Mrs. Freshley's Butterhorn Danish (with 62 grams of carbohydrates) and a bowl of spaghetti the other day! I wouldn't be surprised if he probably has Type 2 Diabetes and doesn't even know it.

When I got the diabetes diagnosis, I had to make a lot of changes, including cutting back on the rice. Last year, others at my job asked me what I was doing to lose the weight, so I gave them the information on what I did. For the most part, my co-workers have been very supportive of my weight loss, and I vow to keep it off, even when some people have the nerve to question what I'm eating.

And for the record, jdhosier is right. With Montgomery being in the Deep South of the U.S., putting butter or gravy on rice is actually considered normal. Maybe that's one of the reasons why the Southeastern U.S. isn't one of the best places for being healthy. Fortunately, I've taken myself out of that stereotype by making those lifestyle changes and living healthier now.

mamasmaltz3

Maybe I'm just wired differently and I heard this conversation going down a certain way in my head, but really...

It sounded like was hitting on/flirting with you, in that sort of inept way guys sometimes have when we think we're being charming but aren't.

Yeah I think he was just trying to find a way to talk to you ... maybe not even to flirt but just to joke around for the social aspect of it! You need to think of some snappy comebacks lady... way more fulfilling than teliing a supervisor :ohwell:

edited to correct typo

I thought the same thing.