Getting picked on about what you eat at work?

Bumdrahp

Who the heck puts gravy on rice?

i did before i started this diet

I also thought gravy and rice are weird, but I also think ketchup, and hot sauce on rice are weird, and that's wildly popular.

nsemrau

On the opposite side, does anyone else have their co-workers justifying their meals or apologizing for their meals to you? It seems like every time I go out to eat with my co-workers for lunch (rarely, BTW - it's hard to eat well at restaurants) a few of them tend to say things after they order like "I know that it's terrible for me, but I just love it," or "I'm sorry, Nick, but I just don't get full from salads like you do."
I've never criticized or commented on anything that anyone has ever ordered, so I feel kind of bad when they say things like this. I laugh it off or ignore it and change the subject, essentially telling them that what they eat is none of my business, but I still find it strange.

Am I alone with this?

Haha, I've been that coworker. If I'm out to eat with someone much smaller and more fit than I am, I get self-conscious. I worry that if I order something "bad," that they'll think things like "no wonder she's fat!" so I feel like I have to justify it to them (or maybe it's really to myself" by saying something like "I haven't had a cheat day in forever! I'm going to allow a little cheat today" so they don't think I always eat like that. Yeah it might sound insecure but a lot of people DO think that way- I see people post on here all the time, commenting on others' bad eating choices and talking *kitten* on them- even the OP did that! One of my coworkers makes fun of overweight people too, so I'm especially self-conscious if she's there. Yeah, I "shouldn't" care but easier said than done.

I suppose I can see understand that people feel self-conscious, especially in your situation, around a coworker with a history of making fun of the way people eat. I just find it unfortunate.

nsemrau

Yep. If it's one thing that I've learned about working with adults, very few of them act that way.

I must be the confiding type (or it's obvious that I handle petty differences on my own), but a number of my supervisors over the years have thanked me for listening to them while they vent about how most of their job consists of handling petty kindergarten playground squabbles.

My significant other has the opportunity to go into management with his company, and this is one of the reasons he doesn't want to. Neither of us can understand why someone would run to a supervisor instead of just saying "Please stop commenting on my food choices" to the person who is annoying them.

If someone was just arguing back with me about the best way to eat rice, I'd probably think they wanted to debate and were interested in continuing the conversation.

Hey guys, a little info for you here... The OP says she's Vietnamese-American, and I don't know if she was born in the US or Vietnam but here's a HUGE cultural difference. In Chinese specifically, and most of Asia (assuming VN as well) a "lowly" employee NEVER talks back to an "exalted" boss. And... ALL employees are lowly and ALL bosses are exalted. I've been here four years and, as an American with typical American attitudes, it's impossible for me to understand or fit into this behavior. In this part of the world, workers just do WTF they are told and go about their day. Perhaps the OP has not had these experiences but I'm betting a little of these attitudes were instilled in her as a child by her family.

Given that, and realizing that we aren't really here for "life advice"... I applaud the OP for doing what SHE thought was necessary to stay on the path to her health/weight goals.

Cheers

This is very good insight - thank you!

spud_chick

I don't think it was excessive to go to the supervisor because she tried to make it clear that his comments were unwelcome and his behavior got worse, not better. It probably would have escalated further if she hadn't asked for intervention. You shouldn't have to draw battle lines to get someone to respect your space--maybe in public but not at work. It wasn't about her caring what he thought but how he was behaving.

It does sound like a very clumsy attempt to hit on you in the way that some men do, thinking that it's a good idea to tell a woman why she's wrong about something or why he knows better than you. Kind of a throwback tactic, worked better back in the 50s.

astrampe

Mountains out of mole hills. Rediculous.

Absolutely.....He tried to make conversation - if I was him, I would rather not talk to you....And btw, not sure what your ethnicity has to do with the story - I's South African Canadian, and ate white rice without butter or sauce all my life....

OddballExtreme

Hey guys, a little info for you here... The OP says she's Vietnamese-American, and I don't know if she was born in the US or Vietnam but here's a HUGE cultural difference. In Chinese specifically, and most of Asia (assuming VN as well) a "lowly" employee NEVER talks back to an "exalted" boss. And... ALL employees are lowly and ALL bosses are exalted. I've been here four years and, as an American with typical American attitudes, it's impossible for me to understand or fit into this behavior. In this part of the world, workers just do WTF they are told and go about their day. Perhaps the OP has not had these experiences but I'm betting a little of these attitudes were instilled in her as a child by her family.

Given that, and realizing that we aren't really here for "life advice"... I applaud the OP for doing what SHE thought was necessary to stay on the path to her health/weight goals.

Cheers

I am Vietnamese-American, but I was actually born in 1974 on the U.S. military base in Okinawa, Japan...during a typhoon. Yeah, I had a wild birth. Mom's Vietnamese, and Dad was from Freedom, New York, and served in the U.S. Air Force.

Also, you're exactly right about these attitudes being instilled into me. I couldn't talk back to a supervisor, so I went to my supervisor and calmly told her the situation. I know it does seem like I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. However, I felt uncomfortable about his criticizing what I eat. What would happen if someone did it to him? How would he react? That's how I see this. I felt it was a case of cultural harassment.

glennstoudt

Congrats on a serious approach and you need to do what you need to do.
I have been on the receiving end of resistance for 2 years from my family about my "diet".
The resistance is principally my "weird" consumption such as fish and other proteins and lower carbs in general.
Meanwhile back at the ranch I have ditched the weight and they have not.
But it does present relationship issues that need working through.
Stay the course and try to work out the best you can.

geebusuk

I thought seriously about criticizing his food choices the other day just to show how I felt. In all seriousness...that one butterhorn danish would've equaled two full meals for me.

The one thing we have to remember is this: What sometimes may be a joke to someone...may not be so funny to another person, so we do have to watch our words.

And perhaps the one other thing we have to remember is this: What sometimes may be a joke to someone...may not be so funny to another person, so we do have to watch what we take offence from, as it may be intended as a joke.



Criticising his food choice would seem like the obvious 'retaliation' - to me I suspect he'd take it in his stride and make a joke back.
Instead, I suspect you've left two other people (your supervisor and the person in question) feeling a bit uncomfortable with you - and quite possibly laughing about it behind your back with others, but certainly not near you.
I'd much prefer to hear the jokes made about me said to my face, personally.

avalentineb

I think he was just joking around, but I've been in similar situations. Just yesterday I was offered a piece of cake and I declined and another coworker said "See, I told you. No fun."

This happened today and damn never everyday! Stupid *****es are just jealous. I dont want to be a fat slob but they appearently have no problem making their own situation worse.

deniseblossoms

I say: "don't yuck my yum, man".

I love that show.

You probably could have directly addressed the person that offended you. I think that when you've lost weight or have struggled with it, you put more emphasis on food than an average person. It really does seem that it was him trying for some casual conversation. Not sure why you feel the need to bash his food choices, you're so offended by his attention to yours, yet you were much harsher on his.

SherryTeach

I get a lot of comments about my food at school. Everyone wants some of what I'm having. It looks and tastes delicious and I lost a lot of weight.

amberdust

most people say stuff like "that looks better than what i'm eating" or "i should be eating that"

although when i eat UNHEALTHILY people give me slack. like " why are you doing eating all this fried chicken at 8 am in the morning?"

first its lunch time

second i was sick lol

I'm ... not sure why this would bother you so much? Why not just tell him it's how you like your rice instead of taking it to higher ups?

I have to agree with this one....im sure he meant no harm but I can totally understand the annoyance of having to deal with someone like that in the breakroom. Had that happen to me by a co-worker and finally one day I just told them to back off and its really not funny anymore...and they did. Communication goes a long way

because she asked him to stop once, its considered harassment if he continues.

well, harassment to most people, unfortuantly its not harassment as covered by the law

communication goes nowhere when the other person doesn't care and just wants to be a jerk.

BlueObsidian

because she asked him to stop once, its considered harassment if he continues.

well, harassment to most people, unfortuantly its not harassment as covered by the law

communication goes nowhere when the other person doesn't care and just wants to be a jerk.

Reread her first post. Not once did she ask him to stop. She just argued back that it had plenty of flavor her way. Politely asking someone to stop should be the first step before dragging other people into it.

SyntonicGarden

A woman who weighs at least twice what I weigh and who has a huge candy dish on her desk had the gaul to comment on the size of my lunch bag. You can easily put four 6-packs of canned seltzer in it, if that puts it in perspective. (What canI say, I like seltzer...) I often bring in sliced veggies, a big salad, or some homemade, unsweetened tea in a large jar. So yeah, the little conventional lunch bags don't always cut it.

Another woman commented "My! You sure do eat a lot! Is there something you're not telling us?" Ummm... I like fruit and veggies? What are you getting at, lady?

Silly co-workers...

StickingWithIt2015

Just when I cook fish. I think it smells better than the burnt popcorn smell that comes outta the break room in the afternoons...lol

ash190489

Yep. All the time. From friends, family, and co-workers. "You need to eat a cheeseburger or something!" "What ARE you eating?" "That looks nasty" "Don't invite her to lunch, she doesn't eat anyway" and on and on and on.

What I say is, IGNORE it. Let it go in one ear and out the others. Misery loves company and people love to rain on the parades of those who are trying to improve themselves and make positive, healthy choices. Usually because they themselves know they are incapable of doing so and it makes them bitter. Keep eating the way you eat and make the choices you know are best for your body and health. Don't bother entertaining anyone who is not a positive, like minded, supportive individual. Let that crap just roll off your back. Haters are everywhere. But they can only get to you if you let them.

I can relate to this post. Cheeseburger comments and the don't invite her to lunch". I have had an aunt shout out in front of 20 + guests "Give her a hamburger! She's wasting away!... Don't lose anymore weight, the more weight you lose the fatter I look beside you!" Yeah, it was all a big laugh session wasn't it, it was like a backwards compliment & what do you say to that in front of your family and some of their family friends :grumble:

I also had on a different occasion my cousins fiance comment that her and our group of girl friends and [some of my] family were all having a cocktail day... she said "Oh, you should come along..." I commented that I wasn't really much of a drinker atm and straight away she snapped at me and said "Oh, well then there's not really much point of you coming along then". I have a drink every now and then on special occasions etc. but I no longer want to be a binge drinker cuz it never ends well. But to invite and then take it straight back made me feel a bit sad that I couldn't be involved at all. I completely believe that I can still have fun and enjoy myself without drinking! The things you learn about people whilst their drunk is far more entertaining sometimes than being the one vomitting in the loo, passing out somwhere, having pointless arguments with bf and/or gf's and riding off the complete next day with a hang over.

trollsb

While I can see that he may have been trying to make conversation or broaden your horizons- since you said you've never put anything on your rice. I can see why there is reason to be unhappy with what he said.

I don't think people should be forced to be confrontational if it makes them uncomfortable.

I can't see how telling him where to stick his opinion would not create it's own discomfort in the work place.

Whilst there can be a bit of the camaraderie and culture to not tell bosses stuff keep it amongst the same level, people shouldn't have to put up with other peoples crap in their workplace.

I find a bit sad that there can be a workplace culture that complaining is going to get you seen differently by supervisors. That sticking up for your rights can be a career limiting move. Always much better if people forgo how they feel to avoid rocking the boat....

rvicini

My issue is the cal count. People just don't like you to count your cals. And their comments are nasty. However.. who's life is it? Who's health is it? Mine and mine so I do not let anyone get into it.

mertecu

The south, definately the south. If it isn't fried, its got gravy. Hence the reason you now find me on this message board

runningwiththepups

In terms of food, I luck out. Two of the women I work with are on Weight Watchers, one other is just straight out "dieting", and the last is eats healthy to begin with. My fun is one of the guys, who seems to think my going for a jog (C25K) is amusing...