Getting picked on about what you eat at work?
Replies
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Okay. I think you were over reacting, he was just trying to pick on you and joke around, it's not a huge deal and it doesn't sound hateful.
And the guy that microwaves the fish for lunch every day... dude, have some respect, no one likes an office that reeks of fish for hours. Plus fish can be eaten cold anyway.
Call me ignorant, I don't care.
I will reheat my fish AND my brussels, and not a *kitten* will be given. I will eat warm food, healthy food.. and if someone want's to comment on it's nasty smell? Let them! People do things at work all day that annoy me.. I deal with it.
If i want cold fish, then i'll eat it cold.. but 99.9% of the time.. my salmon, will be warmed up.
Hey, more power to you! But the guy complained about people making comments about it, so I am assuming he cares about what they say.0 -
Okay. I think you were over reacting, he was just trying to pick on you and joke around, it's not a huge deal and it doesn't sound hateful.
And the guy that microwaves the fish for lunch every day... dude, have some respect, no one likes an office that reeks of fish for hours. Plus fish can be eaten cold anyway.
Call me ignorant, I don't care.
I will reheat my fish AND my brussels, and not a *kitten* will be given. I will eat warm food, healthy food.. and if someone want's to comment on it's nasty smell? Let them! People do things at work all day that annoy me.. I deal with it.
If i want cold fish, then i'll eat it cold.. but 99.9% of the time.. my salmon, will be warmed up.
Hey, more power to you! But the guy complained about people making comments about it, so I am assuming he cares about what they say.
I can respect that, no doubt.
He should stop caring.. lmao. :flowerforyou:0 -
On the opposite side, does anyone else have their co-workers justifying their meals or apologizing for their meals to you? It seems like every time I go out to eat with my co-workers for lunch (rarely, BTW - it's hard to eat well at restaurants) a few of them tend to say things after they order like "I know that it's terrible for me, but I just love it," or "I'm sorry, Nick, but I just don't get full from salads like you do."
I've never criticized or commented on anything that anyone has ever ordered, so I feel kind of bad when they say things like this. I laugh it off or ignore it and change the subject, essentially telling them that what they eat is none of my business, but I still find it strange.
Am I alone with this?
Haha, I've been that coworker. If I'm out to eat with someone much smaller and more fit than I am, I get self-conscious. I worry that if I order something "bad," that they'll think things like "no wonder she's fat!" so I feel like I have to justify it to them (or maybe it's really to myself" by saying something like "I haven't had a cheat day in forever! I'm going to allow a little cheat today" so they don't think I always eat like that. Yeah it might sound insecure but a lot of people DO think that way- I see people post on here all the time, commenting on others' bad eating choices and talking *kitten* on them- even the OP did that! One of my coworkers makes fun of overweight people too, so I'm especially self-conscious if she's there. Yeah, I "shouldn't" care but easier said than done.
I suppose I can see understand that people feel self-conscious, especially in your situation, around a coworker with a history of making fun of the way people eat. I just find it unfortunate.
Agreed. It's unfortunate...partially my own fault though, for letting it get to me. I have friends who are overweight who have NO problem eating in front of others, and I wish I had that confidence. Hiding bad eating is actually one reason I ended up here. For a while I was eating like a bird at work...and then coming home and binging if no one was home. I'm trying to be better about that though, and not apologizing to anyone if I eat a cookie. It doesn't affect anyone but me so why should I care what they think? Mostly though, I'm just trying to eat healthy most of the time. My weight-loss should speak for itself, and once I am confident that I CAN have an occasional treat and still lose weight, I won't have such a problem eating in front of people. It was interesting to hear your perspective on that though- it's nice to know there are people who don't judge and I'm going to think twice next time I'm out to lunch because you're right- it shouldn't be like this.
Side-note: This "white-girl American" from California (and California doesn't really have it's OWN culture like the south does, or like Texas does...mmm...Texas BBQ...) learned to LOVE plain rice- my "white-boy Italian-American" fiance introduced me to it. Growing up, I always added soy sauce. Now, I let my meat/veggies flavor it, or I add spices as it cooks, like ginger or saffron. Your co-worker was being insensitive, yes. But not sure he realized that it was an important cultural thing to you. If you said something like "well, this is traditional Vietnamese fare" and he replied saying "well, that's dumb!" then I would 100% agree with you regarding the cultural attack. I have a co-worker of Columbian decent who told me he has eaten, and enjoyed tarantula. Being arachnophobic, without even thinking, I said, "omg that's creepy!" I immediately apologized for reacting like that but he said, "That's okay. I understand it might sound weird or gross to Americans, but it's actually similar to crab." Granted, I had apologized, but he still could have been offended that I would even think something like that. I'm grateful he stopped to understand me as much as I stopped and tried to understand him (after that split-second bad reaction of mine).
ETA: My point is that sometimes people just need to be educated about a topic when it is a cultural thing. Kinda like how a lot of people are saying "rice and gravy is popular in the south and is really good!" in reaction to all the "Eew! Who would do that? That's so gross!" comments...instead of getting angry with them.0 -
Harrassment of any kind is wrong. Kudos to you for going to another supervisor. He sounds like an egotistical jerk anyway.
Hi. I live with my parents. When I was 37 I had a debilitating stroke. I do alright I guess, but no one will hire me. I have tried many times to get a job. I get as far as the interview and that's it. Once they see I have a problem, that's it. Anyway, I am living back at home with my parents, They are getting on up there in years and I kind of oversee there dr. appts. and medicines as well as run errands for them. Yes, I can drive. My left side was affected.
Anyway, my mom feels it is in her best effort to stuff me with food. Going to the table and just taking out small portions is not possible with her around. If she feels like I need more old-fashioned buttered potatoes, she will flop them on my plate.
I don't want to hurt the old lady, but I am trying to loose. What to do? any ideas? I could have a sit-down, tea-drinking one on one talk and explain this, but she would forget by tomorrow what we talked about. it.:explode:0 -
I think he was just joking around, but I've been in similar situations. Just yesterday I was offered a piece of cake and I declined and another coworker said "See, I told you. No fun."
I get stuff like this all the time.
Also, I get the "if you're on a diet why do you have *** or *** at your desk".... um maybe you see a brownie. I see Fiber One brownie is only a 90 calories snack compared to the 300+ calorie one you got from the vending machine.0 -
My issue is the cal count. People just don't like you to count your cals. And their comments are nasty. However.. who's life is it? Who's health is it? Mine and mine so I do not let anyone get into it.
Yeah, I've noticed that; some people think it's beneath them, that only chumps have to count their calories, or in some cases it's men thinking it would emasculate them somehow. Ironically some of the same people who preach the "successful people keep a journal" thing somehow don't see the value of tracking food if diet and weight are a concern.0 -
I hate when the ONE time you eat something unhealthy, like a chicken biscuit for example, you get "I thought you didn't eat biscuits" or something along those lines. Who made you the diet police? It's MY diet, I can cheat whenever I want to! Then there was the time when my friends at work made me promise to enjoy my holiday meals. They meant well, so I told them I would. Wow, was that a mistake. I gained like 7 lbs, even though I did enjoy it in smaller portions. Next year I'll be taking a few healthy dishes of my own to family dinners and work gatherings and only eating from that.0
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OP, that's BS that anyone should care what you eat and how you eat it. Going to a higher up was your call, if that's what you needed to do then that's fine by me.
Side note: I'm so happy I'm not on a diet, therefore I don't worry about these so called "cheat days."
Side note #2: As far as counting calories being feminine or w/e, I was fat, now I'm not, all thanks to counting calories. Oh yea I'm still a guy, with no tendencies that suggest otherwise.0 -
Note to self...no joking, talking, looking at funny/sideways/upsidedown or anything of that nature with someone else if you aren't 100% knowledgeable about their situation/lifestyle/diet.
Aka...just stay at your desk during lunch and speak to NO ONE about food in the kitchen.
How about we all just learn some damn manners? Saying "oh, that looks tasty" or the genuinely interested "do you mind me asking what you have there?" is not what we're talking about here. Barging in to tell someone else how to eat or complain about their meal is rude--whether you're criticizing them for eating "too healthy" or "not healthy enough". Doing it with "helpful intentions" is rude AND officious. Diet and tastes are highly individual and it's a good area in which to mind one's own damn business if you don't *know* them well enough to trust that they can or will tell you to shut up if you're coming on too strong. And no mistake, if you're barging into someone else's business that is their right, although as we know not everyone is wired to respond with the hearty "**** off" such intrusions deserve. And that's probably a good thing.
Given the option, I simply cross that person off and avoid contact with them but with coworkers and other non-voluntary relationships you usually cannot, so conflict resolution is necessary to avoid making the situation worse.0 -
eat what you want, its not about them.0
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I don't see it as a big issue...I either make a joke of it or I educate them in the reasons I don't eat the way they do. Either way, I think you are getting way too upset over something so small.0
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Ugh! I find co-workers comments on what I eat SO annoying. I eat either navy beans, black beans, or mixed vegetables (corn, green beans, lima beans, peas, and carrots) all with chunks of chicken breast. They actually tell me I am GROSS as they have their large McDonald MSG sacks in hand!
I actually enjoy healthy food. My co-workers are constantly sick... I am NEVER sick!
I have the same problem with them giving me grief over not eating their sweets, doughnuts, and cakes. I've never really liked sweets anyway.
They also make fun of me for drinking my 8 glasses of 8oz water a day. They say water is disgusting. My eye doctor actually complimented me on how great my skin is and how healthy I look (and I am currently 25lbs overweight!)... my EYE DOCTOR!
So, when my co-workers make their negative comments... I know the joke is on them. I am pretty sure they have nothing more intelligent to say than to belittle my eating habits. It's kind of sad.0 -
Okay, to answer up on all these posts in one shot:
1. If this is his idea of hitting on me, you should know he's married.
2. If this is his idea of a joke, I didn't think it was particularly funny. I honestly felt like he was denouncing my Asian culture.
3. He's actually in great shape, which is surprising for a guy who I saw eating both a Mrs. Freshley's Butterhorn Danish (with 62 grams of carbohydrates) and a bowl of spaghetti the other day! I wouldn't be surprised if he probably has Type 2 Diabetes and doesn't even know it.
When I got the diabetes diagnosis, I had to make a lot of changes, including cutting back on the rice. Last year, others at my job asked me what I was doing to lose the weight, so I gave them the information on what I did. For the most part, my co-workers have been very supportive of my weight loss, and I vow to keep it off, even when some people have the nerve to question what I'm eating.
And for the record, jdhosier is right. With Montgomery being in the Deep South of the U.S., putting butter or gravy on rice is actually considered normal. Maybe that's one of the reasons why the Southeastern U.S. isn't one of the best places for being healthy. Fortunately, I've taken myself out of that stereotype by making those lifestyle changes and living healthier now.
Maybe you should get that t-shirt that says: "How about a nice hot cup of shut the f*&^k up?" Really.0 -
I've never had anyone comment on my lunch or food in general. It's very nutritious, and they know it's better (taste and nutrition) than they're eating because they know I cooked it and they know that I know how too cook like a mutha.0
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Great news, everybody. I think this issue can finally be laid to rest.
My supervisor spoke with him yesterday, and he felt really bad about what he did. He said he was only trying to start conversation about how his mother cooks. He just didn't realize I was getting uncomfortable about putting something on my rice. He was only joking around, but like I said before, what can be funny to one can be offensive to another. I've got no hard feelings.
I understand rice with gravy and/or butter is a Southern staple, and I'm okay with people wanting to eat it that way just as long as they don't force me into it. I actually have a problem if there's too much butter in something because it feels like it gets stuck right around my chest area, and I don't feel good for a while.
Anyway, I think this has officially been resolved.
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Okay. I think you were over reacting, he was just trying to pick on you and joke around, it's not a huge deal and it doesn't sound hateful.
And the guy that microwaves the fish for lunch every day... dude, have some respect, no one likes an office that reeks of fish for hours. Plus fish can be eaten cold anyway.
Call me ignorant, I don't care.
I will reheat my fish AND my brussels, and not a *kitten* will be given. I will eat warm food, healthy food.. and if someone want's to comment on it's nasty smell? Let them! People do things at work all day that annoy me.. I deal with it.
If i want cold fish, then i'll eat it cold.. but 99.9% of the time.. my salmon, will be warmed up.
And this is what's wrong with society. No one giving a f*uck about anyone else. There's millions of options for lunch, you're just eating fish everyday to be a jerk to your coworkers? Nice.0 -
Great news, everybody. I think this issue can finally be laid to rest.
My supervisor spoke with him yesterday, and he felt really bad about what he did. He said he was only trying to start conversation about how his mother cooks. He just didn't realize I was getting uncomfortable about putting something on my rice. He was only joking around, but like I said before, what can be funny to one can be offensive to another. I've got no hard feelings.
I understand rice with gravy and/or butter is a Southern staple, and I'm okay with people wanting to eat it that way just as long as they don't force me into it. I actually have a problem if there's too much butter in something because it feels like it gets stuck right around my chest area, and I don't feel good for a while.
Anyway, I think this has officially been resolved.
And you have wasted how much time because YOU could not have a normal conversation over food without seeing somethign evil in the poor guy??? Your poor supervisor and co-workers....:sad:0 -
I don't get bugged about the type of foods I eat but the frequency drives some of the people I work with, crazy. Two guys in particular somehow caught wind of the idea I wanted to lose some weight about 18 months ago. I never once brought the conversation to them but they didn't ever hesitate to add their 2 cents. My favorite was, "You're eating AGAIN?"0
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I can't believe you went to a supervisor over this.0
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Simplest reply in such situations, and usually shuts 'em right up:Well, there are very few women in my program and most of them are my size or bigger.
There are two that really like to russle my jimmies when I bring a salad to school...
I look at the one girls leftovers and it's like heart attack casserole.
Please do not complain about my healthy eating choices...
"If I wanted to look like you, I'd eat like you."
Pretty direct and to the point, but entirely apropos for nosy people who want to try to tell you how to live your life. If they're bold enough to butt in (assuming they're serious and it's not just innocent banter), they should be tough enough to handle the response.0 -
You know what? The people who've been attacking me over this tattling to my supervisor can state their opinion, but I have the right to completely disagree with it because I went with how I felt about this situation. I was not feeling comfortable, so I know in my heart I did what I knew was right. I honestly felt he was attacking my cultural background. The attackers here can flame me all they want, but I'm sticking to my guns.
Try it from this perspective: Think about being from a different culture or how one was raised in a certain way. If someone walked up to you and started ridiculing your food, how would you feel? And what would happen if that someone continued doing it? Would you go "tattling" to the supervisor because it's harassment, or would you let that someone keep picking at your food before you did something you may end up regretting?
I did what I had to do, and no matter what everyone here thinks, I will not change my mind. I'm not ashamed for reporting it, and I'll do it again in a heartbeat if someone tries it again. Joking may be funny, but attacking a different culture and way of eating is not.0 -
You know what? The people who've been attacking me over this tattling to my supervisor can state their opinion, but I have the right to completely disagree with it because I went with how I felt about this situation. I was not feeling comfortable, so I know in my heart I did what I knew was right. I honestly felt he was attacking my cultural background. The attackers here can flame me all they want, but I'm sticking to my guns.
Try it from this perspective: Think about being from a different culture or how one was raised in a certain way. If someone walked up to you and started ridiculing your food, how would you feel? And what would happen if that someone continued doing it? Would you go "tattling" to the supervisor because it's harassment, or would you let that someone keep picking at your food before you did something you may end up regretting?
I did what I had to do, and no matter what everyone here thinks, I will not change my mind. I'm not ashamed for reporting it, and I'll do it again in a heartbeat if someone tries it again. Joking may be funny, but attacking a different culture and way of eating is not.
There is honestly a third answer which is: I would talk to the person who was 'harassing me' and see if I could work things out on my own.
BUT I understand this isn't an option for people from different cultures so I can respect that you weren't comfortable doing that. 0 -
That's just freaking weird haha I would be creeped out more than anything. "I have plenty of ways to grease it up." Really? I honestly don't know what I would've done. I'm sorry that happened to you.0
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I think going to the other supervisor was maybe more than you needed to do about that. Maybe, you could try to just say you are enjoying your food the way it is and that you understand he prefers his rice differently. He might just be trying to start a conversation.0
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Yes, someone came up to me in my office while I was drinking a green smoothie and told me it look like baby sh*!. And then continued to say it and laugh while I was drinking it. Was very pissed.0
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EWWW! GRAVY on rice??? BUTTER on rice? EWWW!
You had meat and veg to go with it. That's more than enough. That's how I have always eaten rice with my family.
Have to agree with this! What was that guy thinking?!!0 -
Anytime I have, or anyone else has, onions at work, my boss comes to me with the most grossed out look on his face and says "gah, who's been eating onions" and makes faces and acts like he is gonna hurl. I have a similar reaction when he breathes in my direction.0
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I used to get picked on for drinking soymilk.
Luckily that crazy b**** left and I work with other people who drink non milk milks.
also, white rice is delicious) 0 -
Like I said, a spreader of misery. Your workplace will be happy when you do finally go.You know what? The people who've been attacking me over this tattling to my supervisor can state their opinion, but I have the right to completely disagree with it because I went with how I felt about this situation. I was not feeling comfortable, so I know in my heart I did what I knew was right. I honestly felt he was attacking my cultural background. The attackers here can flame me all they want, but I'm sticking to my guns.
Try it from this perspective: Think about being from a different culture or how one was raised in a certain way. If someone walked up to you and started ridiculing your food, how would you feel? And what would happen if that someone continued doing it? Would you go "tattling" to the supervisor because it's harassment, or would you let that someone keep picking at your food before you did something you may end up regretting?
I did what I had to do, and no matter what everyone here thinks, I will not change my mind. I'm not ashamed for reporting it, and I'll do it again in a heartbeat if someone tries it again. Joking may be funny, but attacking a different culture and way of eating is not.0 -
Luckily, my co workers are all on board with this weight loss with me. They are MFP members, also! So, we share recipes and ideas rather than being down on each other about what we eat.
However, I have had comments while at my in-laws. My mother in law shook a bag of cat treats in front of me at the dinner table over Christmas saying, "here girl! here! This is what you eat right?" Because I'm a lot smaller than when my husband and I first started dating.
I'm also always pushed to "get seconds" and "why aren't you having dessert?" and "there's no way you're full."
I think they mean well, but I have to be strict because, for me, I can get off track easily in those situations.0
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