Married men answer this.........

ninerbuff
ninerbuff Posts: 48,974 Member
in Chit-Chat
A thread I started really struck hard on "compromise" in a marriage. So be up front..................do you compromise or conform?:laugh:

Lol, truth be told, I conform 90% of the time and compromise the other 10%. It keeps mama happy.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Replies

  • darkguardian419
    darkguardian419 Posts: 1,302 Member
    You can be right, or you can be happy.

    What's compromise? :wink:

    ETA clarification... rarely ever is a compromise what it really should be: fair.
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
    I used to conform 90%+...then one day I changed that... now I have an ex-wife HAHAHA :laugh:
  • joe3166
    joe3166 Posts: 78
    Compromise
    Whatever she wants, we do. :laugh:
  • sixisCHANGEDjk
    sixisCHANGEDjk Posts: 243
    Pretty much agree with all who've spoken. There are few 'hills to die on' in my marriage as I see it so I conform 90% of the time. When I find that hill though, it's time to stand your ground. Best thing to do is make the decision known right up front and don't entertain any other ideas.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,974 Member
    I used to conform 90%+...then one day I changed that... now I have an ex-wife HAHAHA :laugh:
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    i dont know what i do, but i always make sure she thinks she won.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    A thread I started really struck hard on "compromise" in a marriage. So be up front..................do you compromise or conform?

    Which year in the marriage are we talking about? Honestly, It's been both depending on the time married, and it constantly changes. Early on I SWORE I would not conform and 'she' wouldn't control me. I believed it all was just compromise. Now, like my Dad used to tell me, pick your fights, so more conform.

    Actually, we rarely every make the other conform or compromise.

    If that makes sense.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,974 Member
    Pretty much agree with all who've spoken. There are few 'hills to die on' in my marriage as I see it so I conform 90% of the time. When I find that hill though, it's time to stand your ground. Best thing to do is make the decision known right up front and don't entertain any other ideas.
    No doubt. I will NEVER compromise when it comes to watching the 9ers on a Sunday. Only a death in the family can nix it.!!:laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • bigphatcat
    bigphatcat Posts: 7,843 Member
    A happy wife is a happy life...right?
  • PaulFromEssex
    PaulFromEssex Posts: 245
    I used to conform 90%+...then one day I changed that... now I have an ex-wife HAHAHA :laugh:

    Ditto!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,974 Member
    A thread I started really struck hard on "compromise" in a marriage. So be up front..................do you compromise or conform?

    Which year in the marriage are we talking about? Honestly, It's been both depending on the time married, and it constantly changes. Early on I SWORE I would not conform and 'she' wouldn't control me. I believed it all was just compromise. Now, like my Dad used to tell me, pick your fights, so more conform.

    Actually, we rarely every make the other conform or compromise.

    If that makes sense.
    Yeah, it does....................................you're whipped!!!:laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    Whats the difference?
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
    I am a huge fan of men, but this common line of thinking does not make sense to me. My husband would agree that I have final say on lots of things. But, be honest guys. Is it really stuff that you feel passionately about? Women care about a lot of details that escape the notice of men. Give me a specific example of what sort of things you "compromise" on.
    thanks.
  • GiddyupTim
    GiddyupTim Posts: 2,819 Member
    Don't you mean: Conform or fight?
    I can toe the line. Thank you.
    Women have stamina men cannot approach.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    I don't understand the question.
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
    Let me go check and see what my wife says I should say about this.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,974 Member
    I am a huge fan of men, but this common line of thinking does not make sense to me. My husband would agree that I have final say on lots of things. But, be honest guys. Is it really stuff that you feel passionately about? Women care about a lot of details that escape the notice of men. Give me a specific example of what sort of things you "compromise" on.
    thanks.
    The toilet seat, cleaning the house, having sex......................that about covers it.:laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Yeah, it does....................................you're whipped!!

    Mutual whipping anymore. Power in a relationship always falls with the person least in love at the time, and love wans and crests throughout the years. Interesting dynamic.
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
    Which year in the marriage are we talking about? Honestly, It's been both depending on the time married, and it constantly changes. Early on I SWORE I would not conform and 'she' wouldn't control me. I believed it all was just compromise. Now, like my Dad used to tell me, pick your fights, so more conform.

    Actually, we rarely every make the other conform or compromise.

    If that makes sense.

    It makes sense and I completely agree.

    This whole thing is a year 1-5 issue, IMO.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,974 Member
    Yeah, it does....................................you're whipped!!

    Mutual whipping anymore. Power in a relationship always falls with the person least in love at the time, and love wans and crests throughout the years. Interesting dynamic.
    Lol, then my wife hasn't be lovin' me in awhile.:laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    This whole thing is a year 1-5 issue, IMO.

    For sure. Young pride (and sometimes older pride) of men is misplaced at times.
  • bigphatcat
    bigphatcat Posts: 7,843 Member
    Yeah, it does....................................you're whipped!!

    Mutual whipping anymore. Power in a relationship always falls with the person least in love at the time, and love wans and crests throughout the years. Interesting dynamic.

    You know I agree with this 100%....The power styruggle does go back and forth
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
    Sounds like a lotta nagging going on at your houses. just sayin
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
    The toilet seat, cleaning the house, having sex......................that about covers it.:laugh:

    I do it her way in her bathroom. I do it my way in mine (the cold one in the basement).

    If I want the house clean - I should do it myself. :) But having kids around fixes this one for a couple decades.

    We both take what we want when we want it. ;)
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I'm pretty sure she wins most of these battles...the ones I do win, I usually don't feel like I've won because I've been so bloodied by the battle. There are a few things I won't budge on...but only a few.
  • Cassierocksalot
    Cassierocksalot Posts: 266 Member
    To be fair, I am convinced that I conform 100% of the time.... but so is my husband. That can't be right. So we must both be compromising. :huh:
  • thedescentofhope
    thedescentofhope Posts: 118 Member
    i dont know what i do, but i always make sure she thinks she won.

    Best answer EVER lol
  • Vincentsz
    Vincentsz Posts: 407 Member
    First of all "Know Thyself!"

    If you haven't figured out who YOU are then stay single and alone until you do! Save yourself the trouble of failed relationships!

    Then choose someone who is compatible with you! Takes Time, a lot of time, my wife and I dated for 6 years before getting engaged and another year before marriage.

    Then, Conformity or Compromise does not figure in so heavily.

    Just a thought!
  • ariesldsgal
    ariesldsgal Posts: 73 Member
    My two cents on this topic (even though I am female): There are some things that others feel more passionately about then others. When you truly love someone, therefore caring more about who they are instead of attempting to win a disagreement, you recognize these things and try to accomodate as best as possible. It doesn't matter if you're male or female. When necessary some growth is needed on both sides. So let the small things go, they mean nothing in the long run; but for the big items definately hold true to your convictions. Marriage takes a lot of understanding and support from eachother. If you are keeping score about who is giving in (and who is winning) the success of your marriage/happiness is greatly diminshed.
  • CherokeeBabe
    CherokeeBabe Posts: 1,704 Member
    A happy wife is a happy life...right?

    I like this guy ^ Yea, this guy is good. :laugh: :flowerforyou:

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