Married men answer this.........

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  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,857 Member
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    Too much compromise or conformity can be damaging. .You get to a point where she doesn't respect you at all and you become a doormat. . Once she knows she can walk all over you, she loses interest in you. .

    You have to pick your battles, but when you do. . you have to stick to your convictions and don't be beaten down. Once you don't feel like a man anymore. . she won't see you as a man anymore. .
  • JNick77
    JNick77 Posts: 3,783 Member
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    delete
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,857 Member
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    Too much compromise or conformity can be damaging. .You get to a point where she doesn't respect you at all and you become a doormat. . Once she knows she can walk all over you, she loses interest in you. .

    You have to pick your battles, but when you do. . you have to stick to your convictions and don't be beaten down. Once you don't feel like a man anymore. . she won't see you as a man anymore. .

    ^^^ This is why I'm Divorced. . ^^^
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
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    i dont know what i do, but i always make sure she thinks she won.
    QFT. This is all that matters really.
  • JNick77
    JNick77 Posts: 3,783 Member
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    I used to conform 90%+...then one day I changed that... now I have an ex-wife HAHAHA :laugh:

    That's funny but there's a lot of truth to that. I'm in the same boat, got sick of compromising and taking it in the *kitten* all the time.
    So let the small things go, they mean nothing in the long run
    :laugh: The majority of married men wish this could really happen.:laugh:

    Unfortunately the small things can build up into bigger things over time. Sometimes certain small things can be worth talking about. It's better to talk about it when it's a pebble or small rock than when it's a boulder.
    The point is that the husband is to suppose to love his wife regardless, and the wife is supposed to respect her husband regardless

    That kinda sucks... Is it too much to ask for the same love in return from your wife. I don't want to be respected if I'm not loved, that's called a friendship not a marriage.
  • sclarktiw
    sclarktiw Posts: 217
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    I conform most of the time...

    Happy wife, happy life...

    When mama ain't happy then nobody is happy...
  • HealthWoke0ish
    HealthWoke0ish Posts: 2,078 Member
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    We have an agreement. I don't try to run her life...and I don't try to run mine. :)

    I get all my arguing out of my system at work (attorney); plus, I see what REAL problems are (family law); so when I get home, I pick up the Honeydew list (Honey, do this. Honey, do that), put my head down, and get to work. :)
  • Admiral_Derp
    Admiral_Derp Posts: 866 Member
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    We're both so laid back it's rarely an issue when it comes down to things we do. With things we disagree on (I tend to be more liberal and she the more conservative.) we give one another the benefit of the doubt. Fairly balanced I guess.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,687 Member
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    Too much compromise or conformity can be damaging. .You get to a point where she doesn't respect you at all and you become a doormat. . Once she knows she can walk all over you, she loses interest in you. .

    You have to pick your battles, but when you do. . you have to stick to your convictions and don't be beaten down. Once you don't feel like a man anymore. . she won't see you as a man anymore. .
    That's why the 90%-10% works for me.:laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • KristysLosing
    KristysLosing Posts: 683
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    The toilet seat, cleaning the house, having sex......................that about covers it.:laugh:

    I do it her way in her bathroom. I do it my way in mine (the cold one in the basement).

    If I want the house clean - I should do it myself. :) But having kids around fixes this one for a couple decades.

    We both take what we want when we want it. ;)

    Fair enough!
    In our house - it would be nice if he would put the seat down. My 3 yr old son does. I'm sorry...but it's dirty and he doesn't clean it. As for the house, he doesn't clean. I would like him to take care of his crap, but that's a fight. His mother took good care of him, I guess. My son will not find that mother here. :smile: And what about sex? Where to have it? How to have it? We don't have issues there. Or at least not that I've heard of!
  • Otter1422
    Otter1422 Posts: 162 Member
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    Truth be told it is a little strange in our marriage. I get my way most all the time and am spoiled. I wear the pants in our family. Unless of course it is something she feels really strongly about in which case she always wins, so at the end of the day maybe she wears the pants and just lets me think I do! Like someone else on here said there are "no hills to die on" in my marriage. I am damn lucky to have her and at the end of the day if she lays down the law well then I just have to roll with it.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,687 Member
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    We have an agreement. I don't try to run her life...and I don't try to run mine. :)

    I get all my arguing out of my system at work (attorney); plus, I see what REAL problems are (family law); so when I get home, I pick up the Honeydew list (Honey, do this. Honey, do that), put my head down, and get to work. :)
    Hey, I have that same list!!!:laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • cryswest57
    cryswest57 Posts: 141 Member
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    I used to conform 90%+...then one day I changed that... now I have an ex-wife HAHAHA :laugh:

    That's funny but there's a lot of truth to that. I'm in the same boat, got sick of compromising and taking it in the *kitten* all the time.
    So let the small things go, they mean nothing in the long run
    :laugh: The majority of married men wish this could really happen.:laugh:

    Unfortunately the small things can build up into bigger things over time. Sometimes certain small things can be worth talking about. It's better to talk about it when it's a pebble or small rock than when it's a boulder.
    The point is that the husband is to suppose to love his wife regardless, and the wife is supposed to respect her husband regardless

    That kinda sucks... Is it too much to ask for the same love in return from your wife. I don't want to be respected if I'm not loved, that's called a friendship not a marriage.

    For women, it is natural for us to love our husbands, but it is difficult for us to respect. I would say that the "woman" would love you. I can't speak for all women though. Check out the "Love and Respect" series and decide what you think. :)
  • jnoahrod
    jnoahrod Posts: 6 Member
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    14 years of a very happy blissful marriage to my best and closest friend has taught me this: Think of her first and let her know you are thinking of her. Learn to win by losing. Don't be afraid to argue, but you may have to agree to disagree. Never be too big of a man to apologize. And lastly, love unconditionally the children she spent nine months carrying for you(wehave 11). I could go on all day but then you wouldn't have to buy my book...if I wrote it. :-)
  • JNick77
    JNick77 Posts: 3,783 Member
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    The point is that the husband is to suppose to love his wife regardless, and the wife is supposed to respect her husband regardless

    That kinda sucks... Is it too much to ask for the same love in return from your wife. I don't want to be respected if I'm not loved, that's called a friendship not a marriage.

    For women, it is natural for us to love our husbands, but it is difficult for us to respect. I would say that the "woman" would love you. I can't speak for all women though. Check out the "Love and Respect" series and decide what you think. :)
    [/quote]
    [/quote]

    I don't have a lot of time to read right now and I'm not big on reading books like that in general. I just can't focus for very long unless it's super-interesting. Could you give me the Reader's Digest version please?
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,687 Member
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    so at the end of the day maybe she wears the pants and just lets me think I do! Like someone else on here said there are "no hills to die on" in my marriage. I am damn lucky to have her and at the end of the day if she lays down the law well then I just have to roll with it.
    Yeah, I think women have us figured out.:laugh: The only problem I see is when they talk about problems with us, it's with their friends/acquaintances and NOT us.:laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    First of all "Know Thyself!"

    If you haven't figured out who YOU are then stay single and alone until you do! Save yourself the trouble of failed relationships!

    Then choose someone who is compatible with you! Takes Time, a lot of time, my wife and I dated for 6 years before getting engaged and another year before marriage.

    Then, Conformity or Compromise does not figure in so heavily.

    Just a thought!
    Exactly. A good match doesn't require sacrifice or compromise.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,687 Member
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    14 years of a very happy blissful marriage to my best and closest friend has taught me this: Think of her first and let her know you are thinking of her. Learn to win by losing. Don't be afraid to argue, but you may have to agree to disagree. Never be too big of a man to apologize. And lastly, love unconditionally the children she spent nine months carrying for you(wehave 11). I could go on all day but then you wouldn't have to buy my book...if I wrote it. :-)
    Now this is a winner!

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
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    Oh noes! I wonder if my hunny is just letting me have my way and maybe he doesn't just think all my ideas are great. O.o

    On second thought, I can live with that.
  • Canderson58054
    Canderson58054 Posts: 132 Member
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    My husband got me a tshirt that says "I may not always be right, but I am Never ever wrong".
    Enought said? LOL,

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