mens opinions needed....

drchimpanzee

Then just go out and find some guys to bang. Eventually one of those will be cool and like you back.

im celebate so no sex :sad:

Why? And secondly, why are you in search of a man to date if you're not going to have sex? You're an adult, and sex is part of a healthy adult relationship.


If you're not looking for a husband/male sex partner, then just go hang out with large groups of people and sort out men and women that you enjoy the company of and hang out with them.

You seem to be making this way harder on yourself than it needs to.

Ok I got sucked back in.

Why the hell not? If she wants to wait or abstain from sex thats her decision and it should be respected, regardless of her beliefs behind it.

Well, if she's not looking to have sex until marriage, then I think she will probably be better off seeking out friends of both sexes to spend time with and enrich her life. If she spent less time worrying about what kind of man she wants, and what kind of man wants her, etc. etc. blah blah, she will have a nice, relaxing life full of fun and adventure, and eventually the right guy will come along... because, as a confident woman, she is following her life path as an independent person (which makes everyone more attractive.)

I am completely failing to see where sex plays into this. Is it nice? Definitely. Fun? Hell yeah. But what does that have anything to do with 'enriching her life' and...anything you said. If anything the lack thereof would probably make leading life as an independent person easier, and having sex when someone doesn't personally feel ready would NOT help ANYONE'S confidence levels.

Like you said, its just sex. Why the hell does it matter at all if she doesn't want to have it? What she does with her body is up to her and as someone she presumably doesn't know very well (because if you two did know eachother, you'd probably know this as well) you have no say in what she gets or doesn't get to do with it.

You are like, getting really defensive! What I said, since I think you've got your rage glasses on, is that if she is choosing to not have sex, there are other ways to enrich her life besides seeking out a (specifically) male counterpart for one-on-one dating interaction.

Sure am because really it's none of your business what she does or doesn't want to do with herself. Bringing it up at all and construing that she's childish because she doesn't want to engage in it, as you did in your original post regarding her decisions, strikes me straight up as incredibly rude.

Likewise it is perfectly reasonable to want a relationship that isn't centered around sex, and I definitely take issue that you apparently seem to feel that just because she, and presumably anyone else who's celibate, doesn't want to have sex it means that they're not ready or are otherwise unable to partake in a healthy intimate relationship that doesn't have to do with platonic love.

If I'm misunderstanding your post, please feel free to correct me but just know in that, in so saying these things to her, you're pretty much saying them to me too as this is a personal choice we share.

I have not said anything about anyone being childish, I haven't said that there is something wrong with being celibate, and I never once insinuated that she wasn't ready or capable of anything. You are projecting hardcore right now. These comments are for HER, and if she were to take issue with them, I could completely understand. But she seems to be taking my comments respectfully, as we are two adults who are in disagreement and speaking rationally and maturely.

As far as my feelings about THIS WOMAN'S situation, her definition of 'celibate' is not what I had initially thought it was, and she has clarified, and we have came to an understanding on our opinions.

If a woman were truly celibate and did not wish to engage in any physical contact with a person they are attracted to until an agreed upon time in which it would be appropriate, that would be fine by me. But that person may want to focus more on their social interactions with people of all sexes and backgrounds, as to get a broad spectrum of friends, that may or may not, in the future, be someone that a physical relationship could be developed with.

Now, please, slow your roll.

I did not say that you outright said it, I said you construed it, largely in part by saying "You're an adult, and sex is part of a healthy adult relationship" which does a pretty good job at insinuating that if one is an adult and does not want to partake in sexual activities, they are childish.

That, and your decision to even bring it up at all (especially as you, frankly, weren't the most polite about it imho) is what I take issue with. Likewise that you seemed to imply that if someone wasn't ready for sex they flat out weren't ready for a significant other, in seeming to completely dismiss the possibility of having a husband or boyfriend without that form of intimacy in saying "If you're not looking for a husband/male sex partner" but as I came into the middle of your conversation I'm perfectly willing to admit that I may have misunderstood this part.

That is my issue. "Roll" is not slowed. If you want to address it, or reword what you said to get what you meant clear, feel free. I'm listening.

C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!!

sissiluv

No, sissiluv, I'm not going to continue explaining myself. Regardless of what you have read in to my comments, they were not meant for you and have absolutely nothing to do with you. You are extremely butthurt about a conversation I'm having with someone else, who is not (from what I can tell) bothered by my comments or opinions in the slightest. I'm really sorry that you are so upset about my differing opinion, as I make no excuses for what I think. It would seem that you are very passionate about your choices, and have taken my comments to heart, and I do hope you are able to accept the fact that I have an opinion that is not in line with your personal beliefs.

Sounds good. You retain your right to speak your mind, I retain mine. Thumbs up.

sissiluv

C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!!

I thought it was a pretty impressive tower myself.

whierd

Butthurt and combo breaker are now the theme of my Monday.

OBXbound4me

This roller coaster thread looked like fun, so I will jump on...

As far as looks, (partially shallow) I say face (especially eyes) and a nice chest. To me though, I beautiful face trumps everything else in the looks department. (small / large butt, same for breasts, also weight) If someone were super obese or dangerously skinny that would factor in, but weight is usually not a factor one way or the other. I have dated 128 - 262 weight wise. If you have a pretty face and inviting eyes, you at least get me to the conversation stage because the looks are only 1/2 the equation and you don't pass anything with only 50%. :bigsmile:

As for the traits I look for, someone who can make me laugh and I her (joke around without taking things too serious) have some core values in common but enough differences to garner some new experiences together, a good communicator and someone over time who is trustworthy. That abouit does it for me. Hope it helps.

Doingitforme72

confidence and a sense of humor. I don't care if the girl is a stick or curvy. I have to be mentally compatible.
I'm more attracted to curvy women that have confidence.

infamousmk

No, sissiluv, I'm not going to continue explaining myself. Regardless of what you have read in to my comments, they were not meant for you and have absolutely nothing to do with you. You are extremely butthurt about a conversation I'm having with someone else, who is not (from what I can tell) bothered by my comments or opinions in the slightest. I'm really sorry that you are so upset about my differing opinion, as I make no excuses for what I think. It would seem that you are very passionate about your choices, and have taken my comments to heart, and I do hope you are able to accept the fact that I have an opinion that is not in line with your personal beliefs.

Sounds good. You retain your right to speak your mind, I retain mine. Thumbs up.

So should we kiss and make up then?

ahviendha

Just be honest about who you are and let the right guy find you.

Winner winner chicken dinner

Be yourself.

quitter1973

I can only speak for me because men are certainly not all the same but, here it goes:

(1) physical attraction - a body that is fit and clothes that are sexy, but not slutty
(2) confidence with a little vulnerability - I like a confident woman but I also want to know that she's not trying to prove it every minute of the day
(3) a sense of humor - she doesn't have to laugh at every stupid joke I make but I also don't want her rolling her eyes at every one either, oh and she should have some of her own. I'm not here to entertain her.
(4) intelligence, both intellectual and emotional - she should be able to take a hint of whatever kind and definitely be able to talk about something other than her hair and nails. And yes, I like her hair and nails, but there should be more there.

{5} Enormous boobs

Dr_Flo

In my mind its not all that complicated. While yes there should be some physical attraction there and that is definitely subject to each inviduals opinion.. there is also something to be said for how someone carries themself.

Personally I like a woman to be in fairly good shape or at least show that she wants to be by making an effort.
Secondly, if she has this confident swagger about her that will get my attention.

**NOTE**

There is a point where that swagger becomes more annoying and conceited looking than sexy .. so watch that.

drchimpanzee

This roller coaster thread looked like fun, so I will jump on...

As far as looks, (partially shallow) I say face (especially eyes) and a nice chest. To me though, I beautiful face trumps everything else in the looks department. (small / large butt, same for breasts, also weight) If someone were super obese or dangerously skinny that would factor in, but weight is usually not a factor one way or the other. I have dated 128 - 262 weight wise. If you have a pretty face and inviting eyes, you at least get me to the conversation stage because the looks are only 1/2 the equation and you don't pass anything with only 50%. :bigsmile:

As for the traits I look for, someone who can make me laugh and I her (joke around without taking things too serious) have some core values in common but enough differences to garner some new experiences together, a good communicator and someone over time who is trustworthy. That abouit does it for me. Hope it helps.

I agree completely. My one rule though is if I can't pick it up I don't bring it home. All the guys on the message boards bragging about their deadlift numbers know what I'm talking about.

melaniehevel

*Ignore this* Meant to make a post with a quote. Can't see how to delete this. Sorry.

sissiluv

No, sissiluv, I'm not going to continue explaining myself. Regardless of what you have read in to my comments, they were not meant for you and have absolutely nothing to do with you. You are extremely butthurt about a conversation I'm having with someone else, who is not (from what I can tell) bothered by my comments or opinions in the slightest. I'm really sorry that you are so upset about my differing opinion, as I make no excuses for what I think. It would seem that you are very passionate about your choices, and have taken my comments to heart, and I do hope you are able to accept the fact that I have an opinion that is not in line with your personal beliefs.

Sounds good. You retain your right to speak your mind, I retain mine. Thumbs up.

So should we kiss and make up then?

Well I heard something about boob pasty tassles on the last page...I wouldn't be opposed.

drchimpanzee

If you think this is true, I would really recommend that you read "He'd Just Not That Into You." You will gain A LOT of insight about men from that book.

She's celebate. She's literally living out the book "He's Just Not That Into You."

sunsnstatheart

I can only speak for me because men are certainly not all the same but, here it goes:

(1) physical attraction - a body that is fit and clothes that are sexy, but not slutty
(2) confidence with a little vulnerability - I like a confident woman but I also want to know that she's not trying to prove it every minute of the day
(3) a sense of humor - she doesn't have to laugh at every stupid joke I make but I also don't want her rolling her eyes at every one either, oh and she should have some of her own. I'm not here to entertain her.
(4) intelligence, both intellectual and emotional - she should be able to take a hint of whatever kind and definitely be able to talk about something other than her hair and nails. And yes, I like her hair and nails, but there should be more there.

{5} Enormous boobs

^^ This is a great example of what I said in my opening line. Personally, I couldn't care less about breast size. I have my opinions about other characteristics of said bewbage, but I'll leave this rated PG.

melaniehevel

Be yourself. If they don't like it, they're not the one for you.

i know but thats the ing i think i scare them with my confidence and how open spoken i am. i guess im intimidating?

If you think this is true, I would really recommend that you read the book, "He'd Just Not That Into You." You will gain A LOT of insight about men from that book. It is also an interesting and fun read... and quick.

WhoTheHellIsBen

Then just go out and find some guys to bang. Eventually one of those will be cool and like you back.

im celebate so no sex :sad:

Why? And secondly, why are you in search of a man to date if you're not going to have sex? You're an adult, and sex is part of a healthy adult relationship.


If you're not looking for a husband/male sex partner, then just go hang out with large groups of people and sort out men and women that you enjoy the company of and hang out with them.

You seem to be making this way harder on yourself than it needs to.

Ok I got sucked back in.

Why the hell not? If she wants to wait or abstain from sex thats her decision and it should be respected, regardless of her beliefs behind it.

Well, if she's not looking to have sex until marriage, then I think she will probably be better off seeking out friends of both sexes to spend time with and enrich her life. If she spent less time worrying about what kind of man she wants, and what kind of man wants her, etc. etc. blah blah, she will have a nice, relaxing life full of fun and adventure, and eventually the right guy will come along... because, as a confident woman, she is following her life path as an independent person (which makes everyone more attractive.)

I am completely failing to see where sex plays into this. Is it nice? Definitely. Fun? Hell yeah. But what does that have anything to do with 'enriching her life' and...anything you said. If anything the lack thereof would probably make leading life as an independent person easier, and having sex when someone doesn't personally feel ready would NOT help ANYONE'S confidence levels.

Like you said, its just sex. Why the hell does it matter at all if she doesn't want to have it? What she does with her body is up to her and as someone she presumably doesn't know very well (because if you two did know eachother, you'd probably know this as well) you have no say in what she gets or doesn't get to do with it.

You are like, getting really defensive! What I said, since I think you've got your rage glasses on, is that if she is choosing to not have sex, there are other ways to enrich her life besides seeking out a (specifically) male counterpart for one-on-one dating interaction.

Sure am because really it's none of your business what she does or doesn't want to do with herself. Bringing it up at all and construing that she's childish because she doesn't want to engage in it, as you did in your original post regarding her decisions, strikes me straight up as incredibly rude.

Likewise it is perfectly reasonable to want a relationship that isn't centered around sex, and I definitely take issue that you apparently seem to feel that just because she, and presumably anyone else who's celibate, doesn't want to have sex it means that they're not ready or are otherwise unable to partake in a healthy intimate relationship that doesn't have to do with platonic love.

If I'm misunderstanding your post, please feel free to correct me but just know in that, in so saying these things to her, you're pretty much saying them to me too as this is a personal choice we share.

I have not said anything about anyone being childish, I haven't said that there is something wrong with being celibate, and I never once insinuated that she wasn't ready or capable of anything. You are projecting hardcore right now. These comments are for HER, and if she were to take issue with them, I could completely understand. But she seems to be taking my comments respectfully, as we are two adults who are in disagreement and speaking rationally and maturely.

As far as my feelings about THIS WOMAN'S situation, her definition of 'celibate' is not what I had initially thought it was, and she has clarified, and we have came to an understanding on our opinions.

If a woman were truly celibate and did not wish to engage in any physical contact with a person they are attracted to until an agreed upon time in which it would be appropriate, that would be fine by me. But that person may want to focus more on their social interactions with people of all sexes and backgrounds, as to get a broad spectrum of friends, that may or may not, in the future, be someone that a physical relationship could be developed with.

Now, please, slow your roll.

I did not say that you outright said it, I said you construed it, largely in part by saying "You're an adult, and sex is part of a healthy adult relationship" which does a pretty good job at insinuating that if one is an adult and does not want to partake in sexual activities, they are childish.

That, and your decision to even bring it up at all (especially as you, frankly, weren't the most polite about it imho) is what I take issue with. Likewise that you seemed to imply that if someone wasn't ready for sex they flat out weren't ready for a significant other, in seeming to completely dismiss the possibility of having a husband or boyfriend without that form of intimacy in saying "If you're not looking for a husband/male sex partner" but as I came into the middle of your conversation I'm perfectly willing to admit that I may have misunderstood this part.

That is my issue. "Roll" is not slowed. If you want to address it, or reword what you said to get what you meant clear, feel free. I'm listening.

C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!!

I'm honestly just quoting this to make it bigger. Let's see if we can make it, it's own page every time it gets quoted
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:drinker:

tomwatso

Most of the girl's I have dated are dark haired (usually Brunettes). I find I lilke a girl who looks like Paula Cole from the 1990s. Tall, dark haired, reasonablely intelligent, and some musical talent. I don't mind tall girls at all. However, some of my gals were 5'2" and under.

WhoTheHellIsBen

Then just go out and find some guys to bang. Eventually one of those will be cool and like you back.

im celebate so no sex :sad:

Why? And secondly, why are you in search of a man to date if you're not going to have sex? You're an adult, and sex is part of a healthy adult relationship.


If you're not looking for a husband/male sex partner, then just go hang out with large groups of people and sort out men and women that you enjoy the company of and hang out with them.

You seem to be making this way harder on yourself than it needs to.

Ok I got sucked back in.

Why the hell not? If she wants to wait or abstain from sex thats her decision and it should be respected, regardless of her beliefs behind it.

Well, if she's not looking to have sex until marriage, then I think she will probably be better off seeking out friends of both sexes to spend time with and enrich her life. If she spent less time worrying about what kind of man she wants, and what kind of man wants her, etc. etc. blah blah, she will have a nice, relaxing life full of fun and adventure, and eventually the right guy will come along... because, as a confident woman, she is following her life path as an independent person (which makes everyone more attractive.)

I am completely failing to see where sex plays into this. Is it nice? Definitely. Fun? Hell yeah. But what does that have anything to do with 'enriching her life' and...anything you said. If anything the lack thereof would probably make leading life as an independent person easier, and having sex when someone doesn't personally feel ready would NOT help ANYONE'S confidence levels.

Like you said, its just sex. Why the hell does it matter at all if she doesn't want to have it? What she does with her body is up to her and as someone she presumably doesn't know very well (because if you two did know eachother, you'd probably know this as well) you have no say in what she gets or doesn't get to do with it.

You are like, getting really defensive! What I said, since I think you've got your rage glasses on, is that if she is choosing to not have sex, there are other ways to enrich her life besides seeking out a (specifically) male counterpart for one-on-one dating interaction.

Sure am because really it's none of your business what she does or doesn't want to do with herself. Bringing it up at all and construing that she's childish because she doesn't want to engage in it, as you did in your original post regarding her decisions, strikes me straight up as incredibly rude.

Likewise it is perfectly reasonable to want a relationship that isn't centered around sex, and I definitely take issue that you apparently seem to feel that just because she, and presumably anyone else who's celibate, doesn't want to have sex it means that they're not ready or are otherwise unable to partake in a healthy intimate relationship that doesn't have to do with platonic love.

If I'm misunderstanding your post, please feel free to correct me but just know in that, in so saying these things to her, you're pretty much saying them to me too as this is a personal choice we share.

I have not said anything about anyone being childish, I haven't said that there is something wrong with being celibate, and I never once insinuated that she wasn't ready or capable of anything. You are projecting hardcore right now. These comments are for HER, and if she were to take issue with them, I could completely understand. But she seems to be taking my comments respectfully, as we are two adults who are in disagreement and speaking rationally and maturely.

As far as my feelings about THIS WOMAN'S situation, her definition of 'celibate' is not what I had initially thought it was, and she has clarified, and we have came to an understanding on our opinions.

If a woman were truly celibate and did not wish to engage in any physical contact with a person they are attracted to until an agreed upon time in which it would be appropriate, that would be fine by me. But that person may want to focus more on their social interactions with people of all sexes and backgrounds, as to get a broad spectrum of friends, that may or may not, in the future, be someone that a physical relationship could be developed with.

Now, please, slow your roll.

I did not say that you outright said it, I said you construed it, largely in part by saying "You're an adult, and sex is part of a healthy adult relationship" which does a pretty good job at insinuating that if one is an adult and does not want to partake in sexual activities, they are childish.

That, and your decision to even bring it up at all (especially as you, frankly, weren't the most polite about it imho) is what I take issue with. Likewise that you seemed to imply that if someone wasn't ready for sex they flat out weren't ready for a significant other, in seeming to completely dismiss the possibility of having a husband or boyfriend without that form of intimacy in saying "If you're not looking for a husband/male sex partner" but as I came into the middle of your conversation I'm perfectly willing to admit that I may have misunderstood this part.

That is my issue. "Roll" is not slowed. If you want to address it, or reword what you said to get what you meant clear, feel free. I'm listening.

C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!!

I'm honestly just quoting this to make it bigger. Let's see if we can make it, it's own page every time it gets quoted
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:drinker:

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!:drinker: :bigsmile:

eyvindur

Confidence.