He told me he was embarrassed of me while I was pregnant!

blockmous6

It's not just you that you have to think about anymore...remember, you have two kids that are depending on you to be a role model. If you're going to lose weight, be healthy about it. You'll hurt yourself in the end. You want your kids to know the proper way to do things. That includes how to treat your partner. Leave him! Verbal abuse is still abuse. And sometimes it starts out that way, only to end up as physical. Do you want your kids growing up seeing you get abused? They need to grow up with love and happiness. Think of them and be a strong!

thegreatestlove

I don't get why leaving him is out of the question. I understand that you have a kid together, plus one from a previous relationship...but good Lord, leave this idiot!
I'm sure it's easier said than done. But remember, you are choosing to bring up your children in a household with verbal and emotional abuse. They should be growing up seeing love and happiness.

^^^ What she said...

LinDiSm26262

I'm a lot older than you and have been through a couple of abusive marriages and wanted to share some advice that may help some.

Mental abuse is never easy.

1) Please don't starve yourself. Begin a program where you lose weight and exercise in a healthy way, for YOU, not for him.
2) Do NOT engage in a conversation with him when he is insulting you. Walk out of the room to another part of the house.
3) Begin focusing on yourself and your children while setting an example for them.
4) Keep your home as stable and calm as possible for their sake. Little ears hear everything.

Along the way your husband will notice a difference in you. By this time, you will have learned to block out his insults and focus on the most important things in your life...your health and your children. Whether this will change the way you feel for him in the future is a different matter but you will know what to do when that time comes.

All the best to you living one day at a time.

dloyst20

Sweetheart, I can tell you from personal experience...once an assehole always an *kitten*...You'll lose the weight...look gorgeous (which You have to realize you are already, even with the baby weight) and he'll find something else to ***** about. I spent almost ten years (two different relationships) with men who didn't care about me and abused me regularily in all ways imaginablee. I was hospitalized on a number of times and ended up with PTSD from the stress..The problem is, is when your in the center of the situation, they make a very successful effort to keep you depressed about yourself and feeling like no one else would have you but them so that they can fly under the radar with all their inconsistencies and "flab"..whether it be their flaws, personality, cheating qualities..who cares..point is, Don't spend 10 years thinking your the problem and they're your everything..they aren't..your kids are, and they will eventually get the same treatment from him as you do, they are just too young to know it yet. You say you can't bear to leave him at this point, but let me ask you this...Can you bear to watch him abuse your children in the same way he does you? I regret the time I spent NOT careing about myself. Now, I am a single mom (which at the time I also thought I couldn't do), live at my mothers temporarily, but am getting back on my feet. All is well now, but I have scars that are permanent and still show...I have scars that will never go away..bad ones...emotional and physical, and my confidence in myself leaves something to be desired. I am a beautiful girl with a wonderful heart, and my daughter and I are finally on our way to having a great life...I want that for her more than for me, at least she won't grow up thinking that thats how she can be treated and she can't do a damn thing about it...if I had a boy, he would grow up thinking he could hit and insult girls...You need to understand that your children are going to lose respect for you in all this..Don't stay because they need a dad...LEAVE because they need someone who loves them to show them whats right..YOUR STRONG and BEAUTIFUL..YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!

avalentineb

I'm sorry you're going though this...but i don't think you should stay only for the kids. It will only make the inevitable breakup hurt more later. You have to be strong for your kids because they deserve a happy mother.. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. No matter what weight..you DESERVE to be happy and appreciated

This absolutely!!!! I'm a single mom, I get it. Staying and raising your kids in an abusive household is far worse than going it alone. Do you really think he will love and respect you once youre thin? Could you love and respect him? You and your children are worth more period!

wkrukow

Okay I know you have your mind set on staying with this guy, but please stop and think. You don't want your son to treat women the way this guy does. Children learn by example-- what is this example telling your son? Not only do you deserve better for yourself, your son also deserves a proper role model to show him what a good man is--- what a relationship should look like--how a woman deserves to be treated. Most of all he needs his mother and you can't be 100% be there for him when you are constantly being belittled and abused. Yes that's right---ABUSED-- that's what the correct term is for what he is doing to you. I am a single mom. If I can do it so can you. By letting this jerk go, maybe you are clearing the path for a relationship with someone who respects you as a person and who will be a boyfriend/husband worthy of your love and dedication. This guy is a jerk. He does not deserve you. You deserve more and so do your kids. Don't give up on YOU. Trust me my past relationships were not perfect, hence single mom, but my daughter will NOT grow up with a warped sense of love, respect and relationships. He is hurting you and your family. Let the "Momma Bear" in you come out and stop this crap now. YOU are worth it. I would be more than happy to be there for you if you need someone to talk to. You are NOT alone. Please love yourself. If you don't it won't matter if anyone else does. If you want to lose weight-- fine, we all do. But please do this for YOU because it won't work if you are doing it for someone else.

bodaciousissa

You need to get out of there!! By sticking around you are going to teach your children this kind of abuse is acceptable. You have to be stronger than that for your children.

kmchambers64

I just checked and Murdle5552 has deactivated her account. If you are a praying person, please join me in praying for her, that she will get help, be strong for both herself and her children. I pray also, that if she took offense to any words here, that she will come to know that all meant well. What amazed me as I read through all the posts is the number of people who shared similar stories. I pray for all the survivors as well.

Alex

Dear Posters,

I wanted to offer a brief explanation for the locking of this thread.

In this instance the majority of respondents have weighed in with empathy and support. The original poster has received a significant amount of feedback and the conversations can continue via personal messaging or within a group.

Thanks to everyone for your understanding.

Respectfully,
Olivia
MFP Staff