All I see is a moster and I dont want that anymore.
Replies
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You've had it pretty hard in your life, and now you're dealing with depression and having no money...that'd get anyone down. Trust me. I know. You have a lot going for you, though. You're young and pretty. You gotta do what you can with what you have. Find ways to stretch your food budget, and make good choices with the funds you do have. Be positive when you go into your job interviews. Your potential employers are probably not judging you based on your weight. I know this because I'm bigger than you, and I've been on job interviews. I never felt they cared how much I weighed. They just want to know you can do the job.
Anyway, no, never give up. It's not really an option anyway, is it?
True, not really an option as I need to do this for my health. Thanks though for understanding and I'm going to try and be positve now!
♥ 0 -
Well, first of all I think you look good in the first picture. But don't give up, we all have challenges with this but YOU CAN DO IT.
Thank you, you look great in your DP! ♥0 -
my doctor prescribed me exercise because it actually helps to fight depression due to the endorphins. so exercise anyway because it'll make you stronger and happier, not just help with weightloss ^.^
also run. it'll be hard at first but i find running/weightlifting/yoga helps me feel more capable to take on the world. like "bring it on, b**ch!" xD
do everything in your power to be happier, including weightloss, meditation, exercise, positive thinking...maybe even hypnosis before agreeing to try anti-depressants. medication really should be a last resort because of negative effects it can have/dependency, and its certainly not a quick fix.
eat healthy and recognize diet roadblocks keeping you from your goal.
also, be happy with your hot bf and the time you spend together! don't weigh down happy thoughts with "im not good enough" because thats not what relationships are about.
Yeah, I hope it does make me happier and yoga? Whats that like if you don't mind me asking.
Also, I'm going to try and think positive from now on, so don't worry!
Yoga is great for positive thinking because its about relaxing, breathing and the pose. you gain flexibility and strength and its great for the mind/self-image because you're thinking about how your body FEELS in a position instead of how it looks in a position. like i noticed sometimes i tend toward a slumped posture (sorta beaten down from the pressures of life lol) and instinctively tighten/suck in my stomach when in public, or will only sit a certain way because i dont like my thighs etc. but the more i practice yoga the better my posture gets and im not thinking of anything other than the pose and breathing. it just feels good to move myself in a healthy natural way instead of ways i've "learned" to hold myself.
theres tons of articles on the benefits of yoga, as well as youtube videos for the actual techniques. and books at your library too probably.
You might feel weird doing it at first, but the more you get into it the easier/more natural/enjoyable it'll become. maybe start with the Sun Salute sequence? it's beginer level and a great way to start the morning ^_^
oh i forgot to mention running specifically is good for fighting depression because of the "runner's high".0 -
The first step of weight lose is....
STOP BEING HARD ON YOURSELF!
You can lose the weight. Girl, you're not ugly at all. Just work on it and you will get to your weight where you need to be.
However, I hope you well in your money trouble. I know how that feels. Six years of being unemployed0 -
I've seriously been munching, due to my depression and light exercise. I can afford GYM, I have that 30DayShred DVD. But no Yoga Mat or dumbell's. So don't know how I can do it? I have £15 to spent on food for two weeks. Thats the hardest. Been trying to get a job since August 2012 and cant. I think it's due to my weight
You can always lay a blanket or towl down for a mat and fill a couple of water bottles with water or use cans of soup for weights. 0 -
I agree that you really need to reverse that negative self-talk. Do you talk to your friends that way and call them monsters? Of course not!
Start a list of all the really great things about yourself. Consider asking your boyfriend to help you with this list; you can tell him you've been depressed and are trying to get over it.
When the negative self-talk starts, read the list.
Also start a list of things in your life that you're really and truly grateful for.
Good luck and don't give up. Small changes add up.0 -
my doctor prescribed me exercise because it actually helps to fight depression due to the endorphins. so exercise anyway because it'll make you stronger and happier, not just help with weightloss ^.^
also run. it'll be hard at first but i find running/weightlifting/yoga helps me feel more capable to take on the world. like "bring it on, b**ch!" xD
do everything in your power to be happier, including weightloss, meditation, exercise, positive thinking...maybe even hypnosis before agreeing to try anti-depressants. medication really should be a last resort because of negative effects it can have/dependency, and its certainly not a quick fix.
eat healthy and recognize diet roadblocks keeping you from your goal.
also, be happy with your hot bf and the time you spend together! don't weigh down happy thoughts with "im not good enough" because thats not what relationships are about.
Yeah, I hope it does make me happier and yoga? Whats that like if you don't mind me asking.
Also, I'm going to try and think positive from now on, so don't worry!
Yoga is great for positive thinking because its about relaxing, breathing and the pose. you gain flexibility and strength and its great for the mind/self-image because you're thinking about how your body FEELS in a position instead of how it looks in a position. like i noticed sometimes i tend toward a slumped posture (sorta beaten down from the pressures of life lol) and instinctively tighten/suck in my stomach when in public, or will only sit a certain way because i dont like my thighs etc. but the more i practice yoga the better my posture gets and im not thinking of anything other than the pose and breathing. it just feels good to move myself in a healthy natural way instead of ways i've "learned" to hold myself.
theres tons of articles on the benefits of yoga, as well as youtube videos for the actual techniques. and books at your library too probably.
You might feel weird doing it at first, but the more you get into it the easier/more natural/enjoyable it'll become. maybe start with the Sun Salute sequence? it's beginer level and a great way to start the morning ^_^
oh i forgot to mention running specifically is good for fighting depression because of the "runner's high".
Going to look into Yoga as it does sound relaxing! Thanks for the suggestion though and I want to get into running once I'm down a bit because at the moment when I run or jog I can hear my thighs clapping behind me.. seriously. Haha!0 -
You are beautiful and need to be eating healthy protien, fruits and vegetables at 1500 calories or more.....no toddler plate as you are no longer a toddler.... Your boyfriend cares about you and you should take joy in that!! You can work out by marching in place, walking, doing squats, dancing....there is no need for a gym membership as you can exercise wherever.
Keep you chin up and know that you have to overcome these demons in order to live the best life possible.
I wish you lots of luck and feel free to friend request me as we have all overcome our own demons.0 -
I've seriously been munching, due to my depression and light exercise. I can afford GYM, I have that 30DayShred DVD. But no Yoga Mat or dumbell's. So don't know how I can do it? I have £15 to spent on food for two weeks. Thats the hardest. Been trying to get a job since August 2012 and cant. I think it's due to my weight
You can always lay a blanket or towl down for a mat and fill a couple of water bottles with water or use cans of soup for weights.
Yeah, I'm going to do that. Thank's. Picked my two fav heinz soup cans to use tomorrow. Haha ♥ 0 -
The first step of weight lose is....
STOP BEING HARD ON YOURSELF!
You can lose the weight. Girl, you're not ugly at all. Just work on it and you will get to your weight where you need to be.
However, I hope you well in your money trouble. I know how that feels. Six years of being unemployed
Yeah, wish there wasn't an unemployment boat.. cause it's sinking! I want a job.. lol.
Yeah, I know.. I need to think positive and thank you. Hopefully I'll get there eventually! ♥0 -
I remember being 19 and a self-loathing hot mess. It's a very self-focused time of life, especially I think for females. I'm going to share a little advice, it might come across a little tough but it's the conversation I really wish I'd had with myself at that age:
1. The world does not revolve around you. Most people you know and especially strangers you meet are just thinking about their own lives. Everyone's struggling with something.
2. Do not hinge 100% of your happiness on the actions of another person. It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to them. Few people want that kind of responsibility, and fewer still deserve it.
3. Men are just the frosting. They're a nice addition, but you've got to bake your own cake.
4. Losing weight will not solve everything or probably even anything. If you have low self-esteem then you'll just find something else to hate about yourself and to blame for your problems. You've got to have your own sense of well-being.
5. Try to turn your thoughts outward instead of inward. There's a big world out there, and a lot of people who have it a lot worse than you do. Make yourself useful, volunteer, help others. You'll gain a sense of worthiness by doing something that matters. Constantly having a navel-gazing pity party of one will just result in ongoing misery.
6. You're 19. You're WAY more attractive to men than you think you are. Don't waste the next 10 or 20 years being a miserable self-critic. If you do, you'll look back someday and regret that you didn't enjoy your youth while you had it.0 -
You are beautiful and need to be eating healthy protien, fruits and vegetables at 1500 calories or more.....no toddler plate as you are no longer a toddler.... Your boyfriend cares about you and you should take joy in that!! You can work out by marching in place, walking, doing squats, dancing....there is no need for a gym membership as you can exercise wherever.
Keep you chin up and know that you have to overcome these demons in order to live the best life possible.
I wish you lots of luck and feel free to friend request me as we have all overcome our own demons.
Thank you, I have a few ideas now due to the suggestions and going to start from tomorrow. Thanks though! ♥ 0 -
I agree that you really need to reverse that negative self-talk. Do you talk to your friends that way and call them monsters? Of course not!
Start a list of all the really great things about yourself. Consider asking your boyfriend to help you with this list; you can tell him you've been depressed and are trying to get over it.
When the negative self-talk starts, read the list.
Also start a list of things in your life that you're really and truly grateful for.
Good luck and don't give up. Small changes add up.
No? None of my friends are monsters.. besides in the morning lol!
Also, thats a great idea! Oh my god.. so going to do that.. THANK YOU! 0 -
Before I get judgemental replies. Please read.
Hi.
I don't even know how to start this or explain this okay? So if its a bit erm, confusing. I'm sorry. Lets start off with a bit about me, I'm nineteen.. from the UK and classed as obese because I'm 251.8 lbs but I'm 5 foot and 7 inches. I live alone, left home at the age of 16 and went into care... from there into a hostel and now live independently at the age of 19 on a tight budget. Oh and I suffer manic depression. :grumble:
I've always been on the 'chubby' side and I want that to change.
See what I mean? So I don't only want to lose weight for myself. I want to lose it so I feel confident and sexy around my boyfriend. But I'm struggling, money's an issue and so is my confidence. Every-time I look in the mirror all I see is a monster. I sometimes feel like I'm going to break down, due to my past creeping up on me. I've had counselling since the age of 16 months.. yes I said 16 months. I stopped going counselling back in January 2012 as I wanted a break from going there basically my whole life.
But I know my boyfriend's supporting me and wants the best for me.
This isn't attention seeking, I guess what I'm trying to say is. Should I just give up?
-Samantha
Add me and feel free to send a personal message. Your negative self-talk is a lot like what I am working to overcome and I would love to support you in the journey to a better self-image. never give up on yourself, you have to live with you every day.0 -
I remember being 19 and a self-loathing hot mess. It's a very self-focused time of life, especially I think for females. I'm going to share a little advice, it might come across a little tough but it's the conversation I really wish I'd had with myself at that age:
1. The world does not revolve around you. Most people you know and especially strangers you meet are just thinking about their own lives. Everyone's struggling with something.
2. Do not hinge 100% of your happiness on the actions of another person. It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to them. Few people want that kind of responsibility, and fewer still deserve it.
3. Men are just the frosting. They're a nice addition, but you've got to bake your own cake.
4. Losing weight will not solve everything or probably even anything. If you have low self-esteem then you'll just find something else to hate about yourself and to blame for your problems. You've got to have your own sense of well-being.
5. Try to turn your thoughts outward instead of inward. There's a big world out there, and a lot of people who have it a lot worse than you do. Make yourself useful, volunteer, help others. You'll gain a sense of worthiness by doing something that matters. Constantly having a navel-gazing pity party of one will just result in ongoing misery.
6. You're 19. You're WAY more attractive to men than you think you are. Don't waste the next 10 or 20 years being a miserable self-critic. If you do, you'll look back someday and regret that you didn't enjoy your youth while you had it.
Thank's for being honest and I agree with you. Things are going to change. ♥ 0 -
Everybody has already given all the great advice that I could think of to offer, so instead, I just want to cheer you on. You're already awesome (based on my expert internet opinion), so you're just working to be more awesome.
You can do it! I believe in you!0 -
Everybody has already given all the great advice that I could think of to offer, so instead, I just want to cheer you on. You're already awesome (based on my expert internet opinion), so you're just working to be more awesome.
You can do it! I believe in you!
Thanks ♥0 -
I DONT KNOW HOW TO GET THIS TOPIC DELETED, SO I JUST WANT TO SAY.. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE ADVICE AND I'M GOING TO TRY AND BE MORE POSITIVE. ALSO GOING TO DO MORE EXERCISE AND FOCUS ON MY DIARY MORE SO I DONT EAT CR*P! ♥ 0
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Wow, after reading this post I just had to reply. While I sympathize with your situation I do not understand why you wouldn't seek medical help for your depression. You said your Mother is dependent on her anti-depressants and you don't what to be like that. Why not? If you truly suffer from a mental illness, one that is diagnosed by a medical professional, which is really a chemical imbalance in your brain then you need medication. If you take this medication and you do not need it, you won't benefit but if you do, then you can regain a much higher quality of life. Let me ask you this, if you had cancer and were offered treatment for it would you take it? So why not take it for this? Although it sounds like you have other life issues, which I am sorry for (no job, limited resources) if you feel better about you, then you will be more motivated to succeed and that will show through to those who are interviewing you. You know, mental illness is very misunderstood and is also very serious. It can have devastating effects on the person who is ill (if left untreated) as well as those around them. I know, I have a family member who suffers with bipolar disorder and while they certainly have had many ups and downs and life is not easy, it definitely is much more manageable with the assistance of medication and medical supervision.
You are so young, have a lifetime ahead of you. YOU are worth it and really need to take a long look at yourself and decide what you want in life. Only you can make the right choices for you. I wish you much success and hope that you give serious thought to improving your young life. Don't give up, YOU can overcome this.0 -
skippity doo boppity boop0
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One key thing in losing weight is SLEEP so go to bed lol0
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NO.
You are gorgeous! And your sweetie thinks so too. Don't ever think that you are beneath someone. It's easy to say, not so easy to do, but trust his judgement of you-and learn to love yourself. There are meds that can help with your bi-polar if you choose that direction, or therapy for at least the depressed paret, not sure about the manic part. AND-if you can start exercising, little by little, you will become more fit and it also helps with your mental condition by helping your brain to produce happy chemicals.
Giving up is NOT an option.
If you need a friend, you can add me for support.0 -
There's no giving up allowed here. Ever.0
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You are a beautiful young lady. You can do this if you want it. Exercise doesn't have to cost anything. Jumping jacks, punches, stairs, even dancing. As for the 30 DS Dvd, you don't need a mat or wieghts. A towel on the floor (if not carpeted) will work as mat. cans of soup work as weights. You have to do this for you. Think of one thing that makes you happy each day, put it on a post it note and put on mirror. The sun shining, your glossy hair, the bright eyes, a special song. Blessings all around. Take advantage of that and make one goal a day. Dancing for 1 song, drinking water before anything else, only eating one of something. You CAN do this if you want! Best of luck in your endevor!0
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Dead serious when I say this. I look at your picture, I look at you saying you have 135 lbs to lose, and I wonder.... where the heck are you going to lose that much weight from. You say you are 5'7? I think your goal may not be realistic. Why not set a baby step goal of 15 lbs? And honestly, your ultimate real goal? May only be 100 lbs, it may be 90 lbs. But I think 135 lbs is possibly... way too much.
That said, best of luck to you, you aren't a monster. You are quite lovely with beautiful blue eyes. Try and accept that he must find you beautiful or he wouldn't be there! You are so worth it!0 -
Hello! Just wanted to let you know that I think you are a very pretty girl and you don't look anywhere near obese to me. If you exercise and eat healthy you will be the way you want in no time! plus you will feel happier the more weight you lose
If your BF likes you for you, which it seems he does then you shouldn't feel insecure when your working out together. As for your loss I am very sorry to hear,just keep your chin up:). Losing weight is tough but its totally worth it.. toodles 0 -
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Just wanted to say you can do this! You must have something going for you or you're current boyfriend wouldn't be with you - think about that one. Also, you can eat right - start looking at the cheaper alternatives like beans and rice and veggies. As for exercise, do you have access to a library? If yes, you could borrow dvd's with workouts that don't require a lot of equipment. Heck, I went walking for the first three months and just counted calories and I lost weight.
As for the medication, there's nothing wrong with meds if they are needed. I have a girlfriend whose on anti-depressants and she told me it was the only thing helping her get through the day. It's entirely possible that it may be a hormonal imbalance and that's what some meds treat. If they help, there is nothing humiliating about taking meds. Heck, I have massive allergies and take Zyrtec daily and other meds - I know my skin rashes are difficult to treat but I'm not embarrassed...it's part of my life. Do what you need to do to build self confidence - medicate or not medicate - there's nothing horrible about either - but do what's right for you.
As for the jobs, you may want to look at what you're applying for and look at what you're wearing. Could you be wearing clothing that's not appropriate for the job interview - not formal enough? Also, you could practice interviewing with a friend and have them play the part of employer and maybe videotape yourself to see how you react...you may be so nervous that you're blowing the interview due to nerves. Once you can figure it out..practice until you see how you react and have your friends give you criticism. Never give up! It's a tough job market everywhere so it's not your weight - could be just fierce competition as well.
Monica0 -
My younger self didn't appreciate my own beauty at all. My older self has started to understand that while visual has a part, the real power is in the ability to show confidence. Sometimes you gotta fake it until you make it. Part of that is stopping the negative train. Learn to look around you and realize that true beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. The main attractor is really about how you hold yourself. Hold your head up high, smile, and don't dress slouchy. You don't have to be a model. Heck, I currently have 1.5 inch of gray roots showing and I managed to get a look today. Part of me wonders why I didn't realize this before I started showing wrinkles, my hair started drying out and before my body started showing some signs of aging. Oh yeah, I was young and didn't know. I'm here to share the secret with you. Be a woman. Be proud of it. Learn to work with what you got. Learn to love yourself and your own beauty. You can work on it, but be sure you project the real secret--confidence. You will be surprised at just how powerful this really is.
Furthermore, you can read through the threads here and they will all say the same thing. Different people are attracted to different types. That goes for women and men. Media portrays one thing but trust me when I say, you got the right stuff right now. Your honey is already telling you that. If you want to work on the weight, do it for health and for yourself but know that right now you already have beauty. All you got to do is BELIEVE IT and show that you believe it. That may take some work. Guess what--many of us are late bloomers when it comes to self-esteem. You wouldn't be the only one. The good news is you can take this little gem and start working on it. YOU have the power to make that happen. Go forth and be the beautiful woman you are.0 -
Awww babygirl your breaking my heart consider yourself hugged.:flowerforyou: Brave of you to put a voice to your feelings. Your a beautiful girl with your whole wonderful life ahead of you. so that said as me as your friend and I can take a look at your dairy and see what your eating , and what kind of workouts are you doing weights ? cardio?
I agree. And also if it's any help I am a manic depressive too - so get the constant inner questions and roller coaster ride in our heads. I've also had the roller coaster rides of eating too much and then the complete opposite - this site virtually saved me.
If your boyfriend was way above your league - why is he with you? He loves you for you. He is attracted to you. Have you spoken to him about your doubts? I bet he has no idea how or why you are belittling yourself and no doubt will be hurt too.
There are some really supportive people on this site and I am sure between us all we can help you out, but ultimately it is you who does the work.
PP0
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