Guys would you date someone with specail needs?

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Replies

  • Iam918
    Iam918 Posts: 118 Member
    Interesting topic.. I don't have time to read it all now so I'm going to BUMP but I've often wondered too. My soon to be 18 yrs old daughter has Epilepsy and has numerous seizures monthly. She's had a few boyfriends, but I wonder what her future holds. She's pretty much a normal teenager and beautiful but the seizures are frequent, exhausting, and very scary. It will take someone willing to endure all the episodes with courage and love. She worries too, I know, as to whether she will ever get to be married and have children. She may never be able to hold down a job or drive a car, even with all the meds she is on. Makes a momma worry!

    I have two brothers who have seizures, one frequently and the other is mostly controlled by meds. They have had normal dating lives with no issues.

    I have social anxiety, on the other hand, and have been unlucky in the relationship department.
  • sedwards9999
    sedwards9999 Posts: 160 Member
    What I'm trying to say is, there's some things people can deal with that others can't.

    Very true. I was never bitter or held anything against a woman who did not wan to be with me because of my disablities. Everyone has different goals in life.

    Sorry for the multiple posts but this is (was) my life.
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    My best childhood friend has down's syndrome. But having been a teaching assistant for special needs and handicapped young adults, there are some things I would find difficult. Not impossible though.

    The fact is psychologically everybody has an image in their minds of who they will end up with as a life partner and the further away the reality is from that image the more difficult it is to see past special needs issues.

    Having said that, I think RJ Mitte (Walt Jr in Breaking Bad) is hot, although he is a bit young for me as he is only 20 y/o (I'm a cougar at 27 :sad: ).
  • LuckyMiss3
    LuckyMiss3 Posts: 125
    Also my brother has a benign brain tumour that causes him to suffer seizure and blackouts very frequently.
    And he is a man slag, he always has the prettiest girls after him............its all about peoples preceptions. Special needs doesnt define you.
  • bettymbennett
    bettymbennett Posts: 1
    hi im new here today i will be a widow a yr next month when i lost my partner of 40 yrs but married 37 of those yrs ive been trying to find friends male and females just to have social outings with and build friendships have had a coulple men ask me out which was great but wanted a friend with benifits im not into that why dont men just wanna be friends if in future something builds well thats life but i dont wanna be someones benifits its sad
  • Lanise_10
    Lanise_10 Posts: 432 Member
    Every woman has special needs

    ^ :)
  • Lanise_10
    Lanise_10 Posts: 432 Member
    Seriously though...you just haven't found the right person yet. None of us are perfect and we all have things we're dealing with.
  • teshiburu
    teshiburu Posts: 262 Member
    Seriously though...you just haven't found the right person yet. None of us are perfect and we all have things we're dealing with.

    ^^ This,

    As I mention above, I have aspergers, one of my previous relationships ended purely because my partner couldn't cope with my little quirks, there is nothing I can do about it: So I know I need to find someone who can cope with my little quirks, and look past them to the simply amazing person I am..

    You will find someone who looks past that in you, and will see the amazingly perfect individual you are!!

    My Nan always said that those with "difficulties" were "God Chosen Children", not a religious person but I can roll with that :P
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    Sure, having special needs narrows the dating pool, but you don't need to date everyone in the world to find the right one. You're young and pretty and it will happen eventually. :flowerforyou:
  • MDawg81
    MDawg81 Posts: 244 Member
    I was born with Spina Bifida, so I know all about how it feels to feel like people won't date you because of something like that. My mind agrees with everyone saying the right person will come along at the right time, but I also understand how you feel like it's never going to happen. All I can say is try to stay positive!
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    I dated a blind guy for a while when I was single (not necessarily what some consider special needs).

    There wasn't much of a difference from a person without special needs, in my opinion. He didn't get treated any different from me just because he was blind.

    It's all about finding someone that looks past what we consider our imperfections. You will find someone that does the same, I am sure.
  • grgnelson
    grgnelson Posts: 178 Member
    First off, to many of the people whose responses I have read; the person is not special needs. You may have a friend, relative or acquaintance who has special needs, but that person is not special needs. I just had to get that off my chest. It is called People First, please put the person before the perceived disability.
    Just keep putting yourself out there, as many people have said, it may come when you least expect it or are looking for it, but you will find someone.
  • olDave
    olDave Posts: 557 Member
    Probably not.
  • WaimanaloMan
    WaimanaloMan Posts: 160 Member
    If I wasn't already married I would have no problem with that at all, love is love, simple as that.
  • Kat5343
    Kat5343 Posts: 451 Member
    I wonder why guys are not wanting to date someone with special needs are they scared that they scared something wrong will happen to the person they date?
    Reason why im asking is because i am special needs and i have been single all my life .


    Not sure what your disability is, but I have a true story for you with a very happy ending... The mother of a friend of mine had been married for 20 years or more, had 3 children all grown. She was diagnosed with MS and her "loving" husband couldn't handle it and left her. Fast forward a couple of years, she attended a class reunion and reconnected with her high school sweetheart. They are married now. Her MS has progressed and he takes very good care of her. So, not really and ending since tthey are still going strong.

    Moral of the story... be patient and the right man will come along.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    You are defining yourself by your special need. Your never going to find a guy if you are so hung up on your precived negative. I don't go around saying, "hey ladies, I can't spell, and I'm extremely shy in social situation, but I've spent my live trying to overcome one of those"

    Next time you see a hot guy, instead thing. OMG! should I be worried if I tell him that I am awesome and pretty much a goddess compared to him. Naw, I'll just let him figure that out on date number three.

    Even if you don't think so, fake it till you make it. Men crave confidence.
  • bonjour24
    bonjour24 Posts: 1,119 Member
    i know this was directed at guys, but i've got to throw my $0.02 in!

    honestly i think it depends on whether the 'special needs' are physical, mental or intellectual. none of these would frighten me away, but they each present their own different set of circumstances. it would also depend upon the degree of the need.

    but i work in health, so i think of the most medically severe cases. if someone was functioning in society, then in my mind it doesn't really count and i'd put you on the same footing as everyone else.

    just hang on in there. my cousin has a learning difficulty and she's recently had her 1st baby with her loving partner, who also has a learning difficulty. they live in a supportive environment where there is help if they need it. it's a great little set up.
  • KyleB65
    KyleB65 Posts: 1,196 Member
    I am married and have been for over 20 years. So, hard for me to say. I think that for anyone it takes time to get to know someone and that there is risk on both sides when the first step is taken.

    I do not know you but the photo on your profile shows a person with a smile that lights up the room. I hope you find a person who loves you for who you are. Special needs and all!

    I also see that you are young (early 20's). I meet my wife at 25 yrs. To that point I had a couple of 1 - 2 dates attempts and one "girlfriend" for about 4 months. So, special needs aside, I do not think that it is uncommon for people to find a person they connect with at various ages.

    All the best!
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    My son has special needs....I will do everything in my power to make sure he dates. I'm gonna be his wing man!
  • leradoms
    leradoms Posts: 22 Member
    My husband-to-be has Spina Bifida and walks on crutches. His disability has never really been an issue for me because I don't blame him for things out of his control. It has made him the wonderful, kind, funny guy he is today! But he did have to go on A LOT of first dates, but he says that it was worth it to find me.
  • grgnelson
    grgnelson Posts: 178 Member
    My son has special needs....I will do everything in my power to make sure he dates. I'm gonna be his wing man!

    That;s what I'm talkin' about!!
  • Papalov100
    Papalov100 Posts: 1,593 Member
    thank you all for all the kind words
  • Abhishek1984
    Abhishek1984 Posts: 49
    i know this was directed at guys, but i've got to throw my $0.02 in!

    honestly i think it depends on whether the 'special needs' are physical, mental or intellectual. none of these would frighten me away, but they each present their own different set of circumstances. it would also depend upon the degree of the need.

    but i work in health, so i think of the most medically severe cases. if someone was functioning in society, then in my mind it doesn't really count and i'd put you on the same footing as everyone else.

    just hang on in there. my cousin has a learning difficulty and she's recently had her 1st baby with her loving partner, who also has a learning difficulty. they live in a supportive environment where there is help if they need it. it's a great little set up.

    Well said , I have CMT and now I have stopped asking out able bodied women or challenged women , because some empathy on my part tells me that others have their own issues to deal with , if there's someone who's happy to share their life and time with me , its better for them to decide.......expectations on my part that any woman would date me without proper evaluation of all the different aspects would be absurd and self centered
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
    My brother has special needs. He is only 3 years old right now, but I do hope that one day, when he is old enough and emotionally ready, he will find a special girl to date. It's not impossible. Hopefully you will find someone with an open mind.


    Although you never really said what your special needs are.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    It really depends on what the special need is, how severe, and if it is genetic. In general with no further info, it would be a no.
  • SparkleShine
    SparkleShine Posts: 2,001 Member
    My 17 year old son is special needs. I'd like to think that, if he is someday emotionally up to it, he would find someone to share his life with.

    Same here! :heart: :flowerforyou:
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
    My first husband has cerebral palsy, his case is mild, but it never bothered me. I admired his courage in all that he went through just to walk. I believe there is someone for everyone. I even believe there is a second someone for him out there and I just hope he treats her better.
  • Terasome
    Terasome Posts: 3,808 Member
    My son has Mild Cerebral Palsy but no intellectual disability. I would hope that people would see past an obvious impairment to who the person really is. I would be so upset if people judged him because of his disability, there is enough judgement around already.

    Papolov, you are a beautiful woman and I hope you find the right caring understanding man out there for you.
  • Rays_Wife
    Rays_Wife Posts: 1,173 Member
    You are super cute and look like a fun person. I am sure the right person is out there for you! You say "single my whole life" like you're an old spinster or something :laugh: You are young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Just be yourself and I am sure there are great guys out there who would love to be with you.

    My teen son is special needs (he has Tourette Syndrome) and I can't keep the girls away from him!! :noway: :laugh: Seriously, he's had a lot of "girlfriends" since kindergarten. He is now venturing into more "serious" relationships. He is handsome, smart , polite and funny. I joke around and call him my ladies man! These things don't matter to some people! They will see past that and see YOU. I agree with the above poster that said you may be letting your special need define who you are. The truth is, you are a great person ......who just HAPPENS to have a special need! :smile:
  • benol1
    benol1 Posts: 867 Member
    I wonder why guys are not wanting to date someone with special needs are they scared that they scared something wrong will happen to the person they date?
    Reason why im asking is because i am special needs and i have been single all my life .

    I'm not sure what you mean by 'special needs' nor do I know what your 'special needs' refer to. Sorry, I haven't read every post in this thread which may explain it. And if you do not wish to disclose it - that is fine.
    I am married but if I were single I would not judge someone by their disability nor exclude them because of their disability.
    kind regards,

    Ben

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