frustrated with unresponsive boyfriend

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  • angiebirdie
    angiebirdie Posts: 64 Member
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    Girl, that's called the fade-away. Hope you realize he isn't worth your efforts or time. Good luck!
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
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    I read "unresponsive". Thought you meant something completely different. Never mind.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    As a guy.. if I am into a girl (married now, but talking about my single days) she knows it. He has checked out and is moving on IMO. Busy or not, he would find a minute to get back to someone if he cared to. :( sorry

    I agree - but sometimes doesn't it feel like a lot of work? Isn't it possible to like someone and not be in their face all the time?

    Touching base with your girlfriend once a day is a lot of work? Really?

    Wow.
  • msudaisy28
    msudaisy28 Posts: 267 Member
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    Try an experiment. Don't contact him. Don't text him or email him or call him. Just find something else to do and see if he reaches out to you instead. If a week goes by and you don't hear from him, consider your relationship "dumped". If you do hear from him, ask him what's been on his mind.

    This is the best advice I've read on here so far. Probably not what you want to hear.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    He might just be busy with work and guys are different than women, they'll just go about doing what needs to get done then finish it and act like nothing happened. Most of the time to them, they don't get it. Try not talking to him for awhile, see if that gives him the push to realize he's missed you.

    I'm going to disagree here.

    Not *initiating* contact to your girlfriend in a couple days might be normal when busy.

    Refusing to answer or return a call is entirely different. Nobody's THAT busy, unless you work on an oil rig or are a spy.

    This isn't 1983 where it's hard to find a phone. If someone can't respond with a "sorry, busy" in a day or two to their own girlfriend, it doesn't bode well.
  • strikerjb007
    strikerjb007 Posts: 443 Member
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    He's obviously got a side piece.

    In the words of my best friend... You always need to have a side piece.. lol.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    As a guy.. if I am into a girl (married now, but talking about my single days) she knows it. He has checked out and is moving on IMO. Busy or not, he would find a minute to get back to someone if he cared to. :( sorry

    I agree - but sometimes doesn't it feel like a lot of work? Isn't it possible to like someone and not be in their face all the time?

    Touching base with your girlfriend once a day is a lot of work? Really?

    Wow.

    Please do try to keep in mind, we're only hearing her side. Not his.

    $5 says if you asked him he'd say "What girlfriend?"
  • KatieLou6585
    KatieLou6585 Posts: 79
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    He's obviously got a side piece.

    Side piece? He's got a main piece.

    ^^ my first thought
  • strikerjb007
    strikerjb007 Posts: 443 Member
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    Those guys that claim to be busy need to stop their BS. I can see that years ago, but in this era, with iphones, droids, text messaging, forums, emails, facetime, whatever, it really takes 20 seconds to say "Happy Valentine's Day.."


    Question to the OP, does he know you are his girlfriend? I mean, seriously, did you ever had "the talk?"
  • Jtorres326
    Jtorres326 Posts: 157 Member
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    The guy could be going through something major and he doesn't know how to reach out. So many guys tend to just internalize when they're going through something. As women, we tend to overthink things like this. I agree with the poster who said just don't contact him for a while, cultivate your own interests and don't crowd him. If he is going through a tough time, he'll thank you. If he's just being an *kitten*, then that'll become apparent too. Either way, you put your focus where it needs to be ON YOU.
  • Jribeiro86
    Jribeiro86 Posts: 108 Member
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    Try an experiment. Don't contact him. Don't text him or email him or call him. Just find something else to do and see if he reaches out to you instead. If a week goes by and you don't hear from him, consider your relationship "dumped". If you do hear from him, ask him what's been on his mind.

    Yes, this. If he's already checked out of the relationship and hasn't had the balls to tell you this himself, it'll be immediately apparent based on his reaction to your silence. Don't waste anymore of your time, energy, and emotion chasing him down for a connection. If he still wants it to happen, it'll happen.

    And I'm sorry you've gotten a few really ****ty responses here... Feeling down about concerns you have for someone you care about is NOT needy. It's human.
  • Julettashane
    Julettashane Posts: 723 Member
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    He should be like that if you've been dating for years!

    :noway:
    NO!

    Don't accept this kind of behavior whether your relationship is new or not.

    Sorry you're heartbroken on V's Day. :cry:

    agreed no matter how long youve been together he still needs to show he cares
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    As a guy.. if I am into a girl (married now, but talking about my single days) she knows it. He has checked out and is moving on IMO. Busy or not, he would find a minute to get back to someone if he cared to. :( sorry

    I agree - but sometimes doesn't it feel like a lot of work? Isn't it possible to like someone and not be in their face all the time?

    Touching base with your girlfriend once a day is a lot of work? Really?

    Wow.

    Please do try to keep in mind, we're only hearing her side. Not his.

    $5 says if you asked him he'd say "What girlfriend?"

    Good point.
  • 5ftnFun
    5ftnFun Posts: 948 Member
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    Because a lot of people eat to soothe hurt feelings (or eat to celebrate). Hard to stay in shape & be healthy if sad feelings cause you to overeat or undereat. Learning to deal with emotions, good and bad, can lead to a happier person, physically and emotionally.
  • Reza151
    Reza151 Posts: 517 Member
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    Yes we've had "the talk". He wanted the relationship before i did. He tried to hold my hand on the first date but i brushed it away. I was waiting on me to commit, not the other way around. And it probably doesnt mean much, but on facebook, his relationship status is with me (hard to lie to the world about your relationship status if it's on your facebook that you have a girlfriend).

    To all of you trolls: **** you. Really there is no call for your insults and rudeness. Seriously. Learn a bit of ****ing respect.
  • nashsheri33
    nashsheri33 Posts: 225 Member
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    WTF does this have to do with losing weight, staying fit, or getting into shape? Did I somehow get switched over to the Oprah Forum??


    emotions have a lot to do with eating/overeating/undereating. it isn't good, but we know it's true, for some people more than others. and tomorrow there will be literally tons of cheap chocolate 75% off. that might be too much temptation for an emotional eater to fight. so hopefully, with some loving support, someone who otherwise might fall 'off the wagon' will find a way to keep true to herself and not binge on chocolate.

    we are here to help each other. sometimes the 'Oprah Forum' helps.
  • KatieJane83
    KatieJane83 Posts: 2,002 Member
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    WTF does this have to do with losing weight, staying fit, or getting into shape? Did I somehow get switched over to the Oprah Forum??

    Oh hi, I see you're new to the forums. You'll learn soon enough.



    And to the OP, I agree with the others to step back and see if he'll come to you. If he has no urge to even call or text you in a week or so I would doubt his interest.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    I can see that certain posts are being deleted.

    So now, not only do we have to be supportive of any one's diet plan, no matter how dangerous or ineffective, we also have to take their side in any relationship drama they choose to post in the wrong part of the forum.

    So let me retract my previous stance:

    I'm sure the only reason you haven't heard from him is because he's so busy ring shopping and asking your father for his blessing to marry you.

    Happy now? Welcome to MFP. Where you have to support everyone, no matter what.
  • tc6952
    tc6952 Posts: 14
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    Because a lot of people eat to soothe hurt feelings (or eat to celebrate). Hard to stay in shape & be healthy if sad feelings cause you to overeat or undereat. Learning to deal with emotions, good and bad, can lead to a happier person, physically and emotionally.

    And don't be such a snot.

    Then people should be telling her to get over him and go to the gym. Or whatever, but giving (and getting) relationship advice on a forum that people use to build motivation to stick to a plan is the wrong place. Any forum for that matter.

    How do we know she's not the type that harangues him every day because its been 17 minutes since he texted her last. Or maybe he just thinks that Valentine's Day is a ridiculous corporate holiday and he's not going to partake.

    And I haven't been called a snot since I was 8, that's funny.
  • portergolf
    portergolf Posts: 40
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    Yes we've had "the talk". He wanted the relationship before i did. He tried to hold my hand on the first date but i brushed it away. I was waiting on me to commit, not the other way around. And it probably doesnt mean much, but on facebook, his relationship status is with me (hard to lie to the world about your relationship status if it's on your facebook that you have a girlfriend).

    To all of you trolls: **** you. Really there is no call for your insults and rudeness. Seriously. Learn a bit of ****ing respect.

    You brushed away his hand??? Dude was thinking about getting in your pants and you won't hold his hand. I am going to have to switch sides as I begin to understand more why he won't call you back.

    I say you need to move on. He has.
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