(To the ladies) Is it really for us? C'mon man........

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Replies

  • kinkykiddo
    kinkykiddo Posts: 34
    If she says she's doing it for you, she's probably just trying to be nice or make sure you keep funding her shopping.

    I don't dress well, take care of myself or keep in good shape for anyone but me. When I spend 85$ on a new cologne, it's because I like putting it on and enjoy the smell of it. I like smelling good. When I get a new hair cut, it's not because I care what people think of my hair. It's because I feel like a slob if it's not taken care of. I won't leave the house if I don't look/feel/smell 100% because anything less is slacker-status. Sure, it's great when I have a partner or friend who appreciates it, but that doesn't change the fact that it's not them I do it for.
  • Lt_Starbuck
    Lt_Starbuck Posts: 576 Member
    It's scary because we hear so many guys always complaining that once you get to a certain point, girls quit trying or give up or just dont think they need to be alluring anymore because they got their man.

    I dont think this is right, it's like bait and switch. Here's what you think you are getting, here is what Im actually going to give you. No bueno. That's being a decepticon.

    While I dont approve of giving up on how you look, I also don't think that your man should have to pay for all your beauty upkeepness. You handled your own style, hygiene, hair and nails before you met him, you should continue to do the same. Looking good for yourself happens in the gym, looking good for him means taking a little extra time to encourage his attraction to you - which is WIN WIN anyway.

    But then it gets confusing again when the guys are like - why do you put so much into it when you could just make me a sandwich?? And we think... cause if we let ourselves go and waddle over to you with the world's greatest sandwich, you'll look us up and down and say... dang, where's the woman I fell in love with? This girl doesn't even care about my opinion.

    I dont want to be in sweats and a t all the time, I love to wear dresses, but I also make sure that when Im loungey, Im still cute.

    Yeah, it's all for yall and our own sense of prettiness, which makes me feel sexy, which makes me more confident, which makes me feel reallllly sexy.

    So, please - pick one to complain about. Us trying to look good for you, or us refusing to try to look good. Either way you choose, we'll still make you a sandwich.

    And open your beer.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    And please, be honest. Most men don't want their woman looking sloppy.

    Exactly. It's really kind of annoying when guys complain about how long it takes to get ready to go somewhere. I ALWAYS get more attention from men when I make an effort to look nice, so I don't even want to hear that men don't care.

    That's a pretty contradictory thing about men actually. I've always been told that men like to feel like their efforts are appreciated. Maybe try appreciating the effort your woman puts into looking good. If she really knew you thought she looked hot, she might be less inclined to dress for attention from other people.

    ETA: I would never, ever, ever expect my boyfriend to pay for anything. I wouldn't even expect my husband to pay for my clothing or my personal maintenance expenses unless he happened to make so much money that I didn't have to work for a paycheck, in which case he's paying for it by default. But I have a good job, and I can afford the things I like. If there happens to be something I can't pay for after the bills have been paid, then I don't get it. It's called being an adult.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I do it for the stares. That, and when I do it, the husband keeps me really close and gets all possessive, which I fully admit to liking.

    No, I'm not a possession. But it sure is fun to play one on date night.

    Same here.
  • Luvmesumkenny
    Luvmesumkenny Posts: 779 Member
    For me, personally. I like being put together, polished. My man just gets to enjoy it! :)

    Most men I know don't want a sloppy mess on their Arm.
  • dloyst20
    dloyst20 Posts: 98
    lingerie...maybe for him, but regular clothes mostly for me. I think it all depends, and I agree with the quote above, it is nice to look so good that your man feels hes got to keep close in case your stolen away from him by your admirers.lol. I like looking nice, I also love the way I look in my comfy clothes on movie night at home......I had a guy buy me a dress once, didn't care for it. Sweet gesture, but felt like he was implying either I didn't dress the way he liked or that he wanted to control my wardrobe in a creepy way like I was a doll or something. I don't like my guy paying for things either that we don't need or that isn't for both of us...we do 50/50 for the most part, even though he makes more money (not his call, mine...I don't like feeling like I am costing him anything) I am also kind of cheap and won't buy something unless I absolutely love it...so I don't think I would spend $150 on one outfit....thats kind of steap for my wallet
  • gsmithnp
    gsmithnp Posts: 139 Member
    I have to dress and present myself professionally for work, so will dress business-casual and put on makeup Monday through Friday. But as soon as I get home I'm in sweats and a t-shirt. Weekends I'm doing good to pull my hair into a ponytail, forget makeup. I don't get my nails done because I'd have them ruined in 2 days. I color my hair at home and only go for a trim every few months. I don't own any "fancy" clothes because we don't get out much with 3 kids. My husband totally does not care how I look. If I ever ask him how an outfit looks, his criteria is how it looks ON THE FLOOR. In other words, he prefers me nekkid. :blushing:
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    I dress up for me, other people and for my husband. When we go out I put in the extra time and effort and "gussy" myself up because I'm a reflection on him and if I look bad, well then he looks bad. Plus I like dressing up, even if I'm just wearing a really nice pair of jeans and a cute top it makes me feel good.

    With that said I'm not one to spend hundreds of dollars on an outfit nor do I get my nails done all the time. I'd love to get my nails done monthly, always tell myself I will but I just never do.
  • veddar79
    veddar79 Posts: 205
    I do it for the stares. That, and when I do it, the husband keeps me really close and gets all possessive, which I fully admit to liking.

    No, I'm not a possession. But it sure is fun to play one on date night.

    Same here.
    Crazy females...I've long suspected women try to pull that one.
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
    I do it for the stares. That, and when I do it, the husband keeps me really close and gets all possessive, which I fully admit to liking.

    No, I'm not a possession. But it sure is fun to play one on date night.

    Same here.
    Crazy females...I've long suspected women try to pull that one.

    Oh yeah. There are few things better than the arm-around-the-waist 'this is my toy' stance. :drinker:
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
    That's a tough one. Personally, I find that I feel better when I look nice, that includes when I was in a relationship and didn't meet my boyfriend that day. Looking good makes you feel good and confident.

    BUT I would never spend so much money on such things. The dress I'm wearing in my pic cost me 35 euros. I wouldn't spend more than that on any item.
  • TheConsciousFoody
    TheConsciousFoody Posts: 607 Member
    The only thing I do for a guy when it comes to buying anything clothes wise for myself is lingerie. That is it. But I am a jeans and a t-shirt kind of a girl and I work from home so I don't need fancy work clothes. I also don't really go out unless it is to Bingo and I don't need expensive clothes for that. My workout gear tends to be on the more expensive side and my bf teases me about it but I buy it myself with my own money. Even when I get my degree I will be a Chef, so my outfit will basically be decided for me anyways! My mother spends a TON on shoes and clothes for work BUT she does have to go to court a lot, travel to meet other attorney's from the firm, and she is the bread winner, so I guess my dad can't really complain as long as the other bills are getting paid first.
  • veddar79
    veddar79 Posts: 205
    I do it for the stares. That, and when I do it, the husband keeps me really close and gets all possessive, which I fully admit to liking.

    No, I'm not a possession. But it sure is fun to play one on date night.

    Same here.
    Crazy females...I've long suspected women try to pull that one.

    Oh yeah. There are few things better than the arm-around-the-waist 'this is my toy' stance. :drinker:

    Been there done that....but again, females are troublemakers.
  • ts1717
    ts1717 Posts: 101 Member
    I have to say it...as long as they come off who cares!!!!
  • msliu7911
    msliu7911 Posts: 638 Member
    I dress up 1) because it makes ME feel good... and 2) because I want to look great for my husband and I want him to be "proud". We've been married for just under 2 years and I refuse to become one of those people who let themselves go and stop trying for their spouse.
  • TheConsciousFoody
    TheConsciousFoody Posts: 607 Member
    I do it for the stares. That, and when I do it, the husband keeps me really close and gets all possessive, which I fully admit to liking.

    No, I'm not a possession. But it sure is fun to play one on date night.

    Same here.
    Crazy females...I've long suspected women try to pull that one.

    Oh yeah. There are few things better than the arm-around-the-waist 'this is my toy' stance. :drinker:

    Been there done that....but again, females are troublemakers.

    Heeeey now, so are guys who post topless photos of themselves... :D
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    yep, your right!
  • msliu7911
    msliu7911 Posts: 638 Member
    I do it for me - with my own money. My man likes to pay for every thing when we go out, so I spend my money on looking good.

    This as well. ^^ Hubby doesn't care what I do with my money and I think he's much happier that I'm spending it to look hot (for him :P) rather than on other things.

    And as OP states... as long as my shopping and looking good don't start to put a financial strain on our budget- its all good!
  • LetsMakeupXtina
    LetsMakeupXtina Posts: 627 Member
    Nope, it's not for you. Sure, I love to look good and stay 'on point' for my man, but I do my makeup, buy new outfits, get my nails done, do my hair really for ME. because I love how it makes me feel.
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
    I do it for the homeless guys that whistle at me on my walk to work.
  • katies71123
    katies71123 Posts: 57
    Rarely do I do it (mani's, pedi's, etc) but when I do, it's for me. My hubby could care less if my nails are done so why would I "do it for him"?! And seriously...I would rarely spend $150 on ONE outfit. If you have the money to waste on material things...good for you. I'd rather spend it on my kids, hubby or save it for when I retire! =)
  • kw0205
    kw0205 Posts: 62
    I don't know what all was included in the $150 work outfit, but have you priced business suits? That's standard, really. I think men appreciate women putting in a little effort ... does a woman who hasn't put any effort into her appearance get your attention first or someone who's put together? We have to dress for work ::shrug:: ... but I'm playing devil's advocate here.

    I like to dress mostly for myself. When you FEEL good about yourself and how you look and if your clothes feel good, you exude that in your attitude I think. I also appreciate a great down day too (and husband appreciates Yoga pants - in fact, he's pretty sure yoga pants are a sign that God loves us).

    One reason I'm here is because my favorite clothes are NOT feeling good on me right now, which makes me cranky. So, I'm working on that :-)

    (Thanks for the great intro, OP - made me smile and laugh) :-)
  • Fox_n_sox
    Fox_n_sox Posts: 283 Member
    I dress for myself. And for my man at times. If I'm wearing a pair of nice jeans that make my butt look good, I know he won't keep his hands off me. Which is something I like. And I wouldn't mind other guys looking at me thinking DAYUM that guy is lucky to have that fine piece of white Chocolate..( lol just kidding) Anyways, it's 50/50. :wink:
  • IamOnMywayNow
    IamOnMywayNow Posts: 470 Member
    Rarely do I do it (mani's, pedi's, etc) but when I do, it's for me. My hubby could care less if my nails are done so why would I "do it for him"?! And seriously...I would rarely spend $150 on ONE outfit. If you have the money to waste on material things...good for you. I'd rather spend it on my kids, hubby or save it for when I retire! =)

    ^^This! I am so low maintenance that I may get my hair "done" twice a year LOL. My nails have not seen the inside of a nail salon in about 10 years. I look just fine without all that stuff. And with all the things I do for my husband (cook his food, clean his laundry, take care of his rugrats, and give it to him on the regular) he better not care if my hair, nails, and toes are perfect:)
  • biggsexy7
    biggsexy7 Posts: 78 Member
    This guys opinion of my lady dressing up. It can be a designer dress or a pair of shorts from walmart. If you look good in something you look good. The name tag or the price of it has no outcome on your looks. I love it when a woman is comfortable and relaxed. You don't have to spend a lot of money on clothes to look good and be confident.
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
    I dress up for me. Also I see a lot of ladies here, and ladies I know as friends and at work, usually dress up to go out and wear sweats to stay in. I dress up as much as possible. Even when I spent the last month sitting home with my newborn as soon as I could fit into my nicer clothes the sweats came off. The only time I enjoyed wearing sweats is when I was 7 months pregnant, up until 7 months I still wore cute outfits and had a small enough belly where it was cute. After seven months I finally gave in and pulled out the sweats, though I still wore one pair of jeans on occasion.

    I also dress up at home not only for me, but for my man, when he comes home and I am wearing a nice sheak pair of black leggings with a tight sweater dress that's just the right length to be flirty, and black knee high boots the look on his face, priceless? Even better when I saw it the moment I came home and got into my still nicer than sweat clothes. So not only do I enjoy dressing up for me, but I enjoy seeing how he appreciates me for doing it. Though he loved me in sweats, baby belly, and all.

    Also as some one already stated, getting dressed and primped for some is a job requirement. I work in nursing so I spend the majority of my week (at least 32 hours) in nurses scrubs with my hair up and minimal make up. I love spending the other half looking nice with styled haired, manicured nails, some eye liner, some cover up, the right lipstick. :)
  • thecanface
    thecanface Posts: 1,180 Member
    nooooo.... that coach purse i needed was for him.



    not. yes, it's for us.
  • veddar79
    veddar79 Posts: 205
    I do it for the stares. That, and when I do it, the husband keeps me really close and gets all possessive, which I fully admit to liking.

    No, I'm not a possession. But it sure is fun to play one on date night.

    Same here.
    Crazy females...I've long suspected women try to pull that one.

    Oh yeah. There are few things better than the arm-around-the-waist 'this is my toy' stance. :drinker:

    Been there done that....but again, females are troublemakers.

    Heeeey now, so are guys who post topless photos of themselves... :D
    I just couldn't find a clean shirt...totally innocent!
  • Peridotite
    Peridotite Posts: 66
    I do it for him, which in essence is doing it for me, because when he notices, I get all warm and fuzzy inside.

    EXACTLY
  • originalkazila
    originalkazila Posts: 200
    I'm the breadwinner in my partnership, I work as a security guard and have to wear the same uniform everyday. When I dress up pretty it's because I want to feel like a girl again haha.

    But yeah I can't bring myself to spend too much money on frivolous stuff so when I do get something you bet I'm going to show it off!

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