(To the ladies) Is it really for us? C'mon man........

1235

Replies

  • It's not for me, but when women dress up it's definitely not for men. It's for other women.

    By guy friends were so disappointed when I told them this, haha
  • RandiLandCHANGED
    RandiLandCHANGED Posts: 630 Member
    Sometimes it is, but I agree that it is frequently for myself, and occasionally for other women.
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
    I don't do all that even for myself under the cover of doing it for some one else. I never pay retail for ANYTHING. I sure as hell wouldn't spend $150 for ONE outfit.
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
    maintaining a fresh appearance DOES cost money. it sounds like she goes a little overboard, but i totally get where she is coming from. i get my hair and nails done from time to time and i try to dress appropriately for work and still look young and hip. it's not "just," for a man. it's for myself. it's for my career. and it's for my future. don't hate. also, show me a man that truly wants to be with an unkept, sweat pants & tshirt all the time kind of girl who never does her nails or makeup- i'd love to meet him.
  • Txracy
    Txracy Posts: 78
    I don't spend lots on myself, because there are so many nice clothes you can buy for much cheaper that do not look "cheap" (wait for sales, shop online, etc)

    I dress up for everyone else. I like being my husband's "hot wife" as his friends say, and I like being considered attractive in general. I also enjoy fashion, and use it a way to express my personality.

    But being dressed nicely doesn't mean I'm always in high heels and dresses though. I'll run to Target in yoga pants and tank top (that I look good in, by the way :wink: ), and at home I'll wear some well-fitting jeans that make my *kitten* look great, and a fitted t-shirt. Casual doesn't have to mean sloppy.

    If my husband dictated what I wore, I would be naked. Always. He doesn't even notice clothes. Hell, he doesn't even notice lingerie. He thinks it's stupid to spend that much on underwear when it's going to just end up on the floor anyway :blushing:
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
    I only dress up out of obligation. I have to dress professionally for work. And usually even there I try to be as cheap as possible and buy one item in multiple colors that can be worn several ways. Outside of that, I'm a t-shirt and jeans kind of person. So yeah, definitely not concerned with impressing anyone.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    Women have a wide range of motivations for dressing the way they do, because we are all individuals with different mindsets and priorities.
  • awadm
    awadm Posts: 252
    I dress up for myself....if a guy chooses to enjoy it, then that's a perk :bigsmile:
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
    I do not spend much on hair makeup or clothing. I don't even do manicures at all. I will say when I dress up I am trying to get his attention. All girls want to be wanted. All attempts have failed to garner the desired reaction so far but I am stubborn.
  • ashesfromfire
    ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
    When I say it's for Him, it's for Him. That being said, my day to day attire is not for Him. But if it's date night, or I feel like being extra appealing, there are certain dress or skirts that I know my man likes and I wear them.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Of course it's for her, but isn't it nice that she says what she says?

    My wife says the same things with a wink. It's adorable and I love it, but I completely get it. Hell, it's fun to hear it even when I know it's not true.

    This is a very cute answer from a male.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    It's scary because we hear so many guys always complaining that once you get to a certain point, girls quit trying or give up or just dont think they need to be alluring anymore because they got their man.

    I dont think this is right, it's like bait and switch. Here's what you think you are getting, here is what Im actually going to give you. No bueno. That's being a decepticon.

    While I dont approve of giving up on how you look, I also don't think that your man should have to pay for all your beauty upkeepness. You handled your own style, hygiene, hair and nails before you met him, you should continue to do the same. Looking good for yourself happens in the gym, looking good for him means taking a little extra time to encourage his attraction to you - which is WIN WIN anyway.

    But then it gets confusing again when the guys are like - why do you put so much into it when you could just make me a sandwich?? And we think... cause if we let ourselves go and waddle over to you with the world's greatest sandwich, you'll look us up and down and say... dang, where's the woman I fell in love with? This girl doesn't even care about my opinion.

    I dont want to be in sweats and a t all the time, I love to wear dresses, but I also make sure that when Im loungey, Im still cute.

    Yeah, it's all for yall and our own sense of prettiness, which makes me feel sexy, which makes me more confident, which makes me feel reallllly sexy.

    So, please - pick one to complain about. Us trying to look good for you, or us refusing to try to look good. Either way you choose, we'll still make you a sandwich.

    And open your beer.

    They have chosen...they want us to look good, without it costing them money. Didn't you read the OP? And there are plenty of women chiming in here about paying for their own upkeep so it seems they could easily have one of these. Problem solved. Dump the wives you are with in favor of one of these free upkeep types if the love of your life has become such a nuisance and a drain.
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
    BTW I make awesome sandwiches and bring them to him on the weekends when he wakes up just before noon. I have been up for hours running to the grocery store, doing laundry, fixing stuff, and watching the babies, and then I bring him his sammich. You think that is all you want but when a girl does it do you really notice?
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    When a man is taking me out, and I dress up, it's for him. I want people that see us to think that he has a hot chick, not that he's dating down.

    But at home, I'm a total "sweats and t-shirt" kind of girl.

    ^^This, exactly. Plus, after almost twenty-five years, my husband still looks sooo hot...I want other women to look at him and then me and think, "Real Nice, but no way can I beat that chick..."
  • Iron_Duchess
    Iron_Duchess Posts: 429 Member
    My husband always says that the way a woman looks reflects on her man, who he is, and how he treats her (I know he has very weird opinions, but oh well, my bed is already made…).
    I don't know about that. I've met narcissistic guys at the gym that demand that their SO look and be a certain way.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    So, like a said, the way she “looks” reflects on what kind of man he is and the ways he treats her. If a man treats his SO like a porcelain doll, I’m pretty sure she looks like one. If a man is always nagging and complaining about not wanting her to spend money doing her hair or buying clothes, she is going to stop taking care of herself so she doesn't have to hear him complain. It’s sad, but many just take the path of less resistance. All guys complain about the money wives and SO expend taking care of themselves, but inside they hit their chests (insert some gorilla grunts here) every time another man looks at his woman and says, “Wow, she is hot!” It’s all about infusing the male ego too.
  • Lt_Starbuck
    Lt_Starbuck Posts: 576 Member
    It's scary because we hear so many guys always complaining that once you get to a certain point, girls quit trying or give up or just dont think they need to be alluring anymore because they got their man.

    I dont think this is right, it's like bait and switch. Here's what you think you are getting, here is what Im actually going to give you. No bueno. That's being a decepticon.

    While I dont approve of giving up on how you look, I also don't think that your man should have to pay for all your beauty upkeepness. You handled your own style, hygiene, hair and nails before you met him, you should continue to do the same. Looking good for yourself happens in the gym, looking good for him means taking a little extra time to encourage his attraction to you - which is WIN WIN anyway.

    But then it gets confusing again when the guys are like - why do you put so much into it when you could just make me a sandwich?? And we think... cause if we let ourselves go and waddle over to you with the world's greatest sandwich, you'll look us up and down and say... dang, where's the woman I fell in love with? This girl doesn't even care about my opinion.

    I dont want to be in sweats and a t all the time, I love to wear dresses, but I also make sure that when Im loungey, Im still cute.

    Yeah, it's all for yall and our own sense of prettiness, which makes me feel sexy, which makes me more confident, which makes me feel reallllly sexy.

    So, please - pick one to complain about. Us trying to look good for you, or us refusing to try to look good. Either way you choose, we'll still make you a sandwich.

    And open your beer.

    They have chosen...they want us to look good, without it costing them money. Didn't you read the OP? And there are plenty of women chiming in here about paying for their own upkeep so it seems they could easily have one of these. Problem solved. Dump the wives you are with in favor of one of these free upkeep types if the love of your life has become such a nuisance and a drain.

    no one was talking to you. I read the OP cause he's on my friends list and I was responding to him. scootch.
  • 00sarah
    00sarah Posts: 621 Member
    I do it for him, which in essence is doing it for me, because when he notices, I get all warm and fuzzy inside.

    ^^ This is true. I put far more effort into my appearance when I'm going to be with my husband (even if it's just staying at home) than I do when I'm going to be by myself. I want HIM to think I look good. Couldn't care less what the rest of the world thinks.

    Yup.
  • gr8pillock
    gr8pillock Posts: 374 Member
    I'll be honest, I DO LOVE putting on a nice dress and doing myself up to let my honey flaunt me on his arm, but the truth is, I worked my *kitten* off when he wasn't even in my life to get down to this size, and I buy he dresses because I CAN fit into them. So no... it isn't for him. When I put it all together and do my hair and get all gussied up, then yes it is for him, but when I'm buying the clothes, I buy for myself, for how I feel in them. He and his reaction (which I love endlessly) is secondary.

    Unless it's lingerie. Whole other story. :)
  • I dress for myself I don't leave the house until I have everything right. :smile: Believe me women can be the worst critic for other women.
  • carrieliz81
    carrieliz81 Posts: 489 Member
    I do actually think about what my boyfriend will think about my outfits, and try to plan things that I think he will like, or approve of, or think I look good in..... but, I'm pretty sure that I worry about what he is thinking, and what he is actually thinking is:






    ...nothing, because men are lucky and don't over-analyze everything all the time.
  • leomom72
    leomom72 Posts: 1,797 Member
    i like for him to think i look good in stuff, but i dress up for me:wink:
  • carrieliz81
    carrieliz81 Posts: 489 Member
    I do it for him, which in essence is doing it for me, because when he notices, I get all warm and fuzzy inside.

    ^^ This is true. I put far more effort into my appearance when I'm going to be with my husband (even if it's just staying at home) than I do when I'm going to be by myself. I want HIM to think I look good. Couldn't care less what the rest of the world thinks.

    Yup.

    AGREED!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • ShandiH
    ShandiH Posts: 232 Member
    Being a stay-at-home-mom I do try to dress for my husband every now and then. I don't like feeling and/or looking frumpy and I'm sure he doesn't find frumpy sexy either. That said, I don't get my nails done or my hair colored etc. and there is NO WAY IN HELL I'd let it strain our finances and/or relationship. I want my hubby to remember why he chose to marry me (yes, yes there are many reasons but attraction is what starts it) and not someone else less frumpy.
  • FTClown
    FTClown Posts: 181
    I dress up for me, but I do put a lot more effort in what im wearing and makeup and hair when I am going to go out or I am going to see my boyfriend.

    Come on...YOU be honest, would you really want your gf or wife wearing jeans and t-shirts or sweatshirts all the time?

    My girl actually does, and a lot of times she does not even shave up (legs and all), I don't care less. At the end of the day, she happy and she is not making us broke, then win win. So yeah as someone said, if she not hurting your finances and you can still save AND SHE HAPPY, no worries, be happy. But knowing most ladies, even when they do it seriously for us, deep down they doing it for the way we admire them, help them feel better and turning out that yes it is always for them.
  • lol!!! when I dress up it's for a reason! lol!!! I wear capris (not even fancy ones... they cost me at most $8.00 as Ross' and I have a uniform for school that's optional, but it's my daily wear unless it's dirty.) at work.

    I have 1 little black dress. everything else in my closet are pants/capris/some jeans and shirts/blouses.

    I am not a clothes horse nor am I a fashionista. I've never even been to TJMax. lol!!!!


    I dress for comfort. for me.
  • currierand
    currierand Posts: 155 Member
    As a trophy wife, I can tell you that most women dress up for themselves first and for men second, but it's nice to be noticed by anyone...admit it.

    If a man compliments me, it's probably because of my figure, if a woman compliments me, I know it's because she appreciates the effort that went into to making myself look good before leaving the house. I know you men are shocked, but we don't wake up looking like a supermodel. Well, most of us don't anyway.
  • gr8pillock
    gr8pillock Posts: 374 Member
    "My husband always says that the way a woman looks reflects on her man, who he is, and how he treats her (I know he has very weird opinions, but oh well, my bed is already made…)"

    He's not weird. He's old fashioned. (though to be honest, it isn't his place to tell a woman how to look, it's his job to choose a woman who shares that notion)

    I am VERY old fashioned and I follow this line of thinking as well. The woman on a man's arm IS a representation of him, whether she means to be, wants to be, or aims to be, she is. This means that if a guy goes out with a girl who is going to end up on the People of Walmart website, that reflects on his own character. He chose that woman. That woman chose him.

    I never leave the house with my honey unless I'm in a dress, makeup done, hair as I wish it to be. I want to look like a woman who has her **** together, a woman who cares about her appearance, her worth, herself, and shows it. And on the flip side, if I look good, he can wear carharts and come straight from work and still gain the respect of others when they see the woman on his arm, because a good woman, a woman who cares for herself and respects herself reflects highly on the man she chooses as hers.

    My grandmother never left the house without lipstick on and once told me, "You don't take the time becuase you're trying to impress someone, you take the time because you want them to know that not only do you respect yourself, but you respected THEM enough to want to look your best when you encountered them. That goes for your mate as much as the bus driver in Somerville. Show up with respect for others and for yourself, and show in the way you present yourself. Period."

    This is why I cringe when I see girls in jammy pants in public. It's an old fashioned way of being, I know, but it's how I am... Grammy would be proud.
  • musycnlyrics
    musycnlyrics Posts: 323 Member
    When I dress up, I do it for both of us. I FEEL sexy and he thinks I LOOK sexy and we are both happy.
    When we go out, it's for him. When I go to work, it's for me.
    I LIVE in yoga pants, but he loves them. He tells me that they look "painted on" and he can't help but notice when I walk by. (I walk by a LOT :wink: )

    I'm not into really expensive items, but if I see one I "need", I buy it. He's the same. As long as its not going to cause an issue in our budget, then it's not an issue.
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
    I like to look nice but when I really doll up it's for my man, he feels proud to be out with me when I'm looking super cute! Heels and manicures are 100% for him, I keep my nails a lot longer than I did before we were together because he likes my hands to look sexy, and I wear heels out with him so he gets a good show walking behind me :blushing:

    I wear a lot of stuff that he likes because it makes him happy, like yoga pants with leg warmers 90% of the time at home ❤ Not even speculation on my part, it's all input from him.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,021 Member
    So, like a said, the way she “looks” reflects on what kind of man he is and the ways he treats her. If a man treats his SO like a porcelain doll, I’m pretty sure she looks like one. If a man is always nagging and complaining about not wanting her to spend money doing her hair or buying clothes, she is going to stop taking care of herself so she doesn't have to hear him complain. It’s sad, but many just take the path of less resistance. All guys complain about the money wives and SO expend taking care of themselves, but inside they hit their chests (insert some gorilla grunts here) every time another man looks at his woman and says, “Wow, she is hot!” It’s all about infusing the male ego too.
    I'll agree to a point. While some females do reflect how their man may treat them, others don't. I've met many "frumpy" females who have professional husbands that treat them very well.
    IMO, if a woman let's herself go, it's because she chooses to. Most men don't dictate what clothes women wear, how they wear their hair or make up and few dictate what clothes they should buy.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition