Morbidly Obese mother files complaint
Replies
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I'd really like to see EXACTLY what the doctor said, not have it reported second-hand to me by an individual upset that she won't get her way. Sometimes people's retention is affected when they're upset. (When my doctors first told me I had lymphoma, I'm sure they told me what it was, but I still had to look it up a few times before it sank in.)
Is it possible that the mom-to-be misheard something, or that the doctor simply worded their statement poorly, instead of lying outright? Just because they went to medical school doesn't mean they speak well off-the-cuff. Maybe the doctor said / meant it was policy to recommend high-risk pregnancies be handled in the better-equipped hospital.0 -
I guess with this line of thinking, i.e. feeling discriminated against because the doctor didn't want to treat her because of her weight, I should have sued my own OB/GYN when she told me because of my AGE I was high-risk and may have to deliver at a different hospital if I had to deliver early. My age was my only risk factor.
My feelings weren't hurt because she basically called me OLD (ha ha!), but I was glad she cared enough to want what is best for me and my son.
That said, the doctor never should have said it was hospital policy. Honesty would have been the best policy here.0 -
We live in a world now where.. "when you call a spade a spade" your discriminating against someone. Very very sad.
Yep! The doctor should not have lied if he did. If he was scared of exactly what is happening anyway, he should have gotten hospital administration involved and run it up the flag pole to cover himself. A physician who is uncomfortable treating a patient is not a physician I want treating me or my family. If it was for legitimate medical reasons, the facility would have supported his call. If it was for discriminatory reasons, he would have been disciplined and another physician found. Perhaps that is what is being investigated here.
The fact remails this woman is super moridly obese and with that comes major concern for difficulties during pregnancy and childbirth. It would be far better for the mother to be in a facility where both she and the baby can be promptly treated, than to transfer either or both of them post-delivery. The distance should not truly be a factor because if the only treatment for other deadly diseases was hours away, most likely she would go. If she has no transportation or avenue to get to the higher level of care than that should be addressed with the local hospital.
Regardless of all of that, what good is a lawsuit going to do here?0 -
If the doctor or the facility isn't a high risk facility, they can't take her. The policy may not say, "We won't deliver your child if you weigh over 350 pounds" but if she's the average height for an american female that would put her BMI at 60. The hospital's policy may state that they need to send patients to a perinatal center if they are high risk and with a BMI of 60 she's very high risk. If that's the case he wasn't necessarily lying about what the policy says.
That being said I have serious doubts a doctor told her the hospital policy says that if the patient is over 350 pounds, we can't deliver it. What's much more likely is this lady didn't like what she was told and twisted it to make the medical professional seem wrong for telling her what was right because it hurt her feelings. This is what happens when you don't let kids learn to cope with disappointment when they're young. They grow up to be fat, spoiled, entitled people that can't hear the truth about themselves without getting upset.0 -
The comparison with the cow seems particularly aptAn adult panda usually weighs about 350lbs; female polar bears (on the low side) weigh 350lbs, a baby cow (depending on breed) can weigh 350lbs by the end of their first year....just ot put some things into perspective.
That is good perspective...0 -
MONEY!We live in a world now where.. "when you call a spade a spade" your discriminating against someone. Very very sad.
Yep! The doctor should not have lied if he did. If he was scared of exactly what is happening anyway, he should have gotten hospital administration involved and run it up the flag pole to cover himself. A physician who is uncomfortable treating a patient is not a physician I want treating me or my family. If it was for legitimate medical reasons, the facility would have supported his call. If it was for discriminatory reasons, he would have been disciplined and another physician found. Perhaps that is what is being investigated here.
The fact remails this woman is super moridly obese and with that comes major concern for difficulties during pregnancy and childbirth. It would be far better for the mother to be in a facility where both she and the baby can be promptly treated, than to transfer either or both of them post-delivery. The distance should not truly be a factor because if the only treatment for other deadly diseases was hours away, most likely she would go. If she has no transportation or avenue to get to the higher level of care than that should be addressed with the local hospital.
Regardless of all of that, what good is a lawsuit going to do here?0 -
- when everyone knows it is a neat little single edged soil lifting deviceWe live in a world now where.. "when you call a spade a spade" your discriminating against someone. Very very sad.0 -
Pulling the 'discrimination' card.
Some people would complain if they won a gazzillion dollars
and it came in a regular envelope.0 -
I have no idea why people think fat people, no matter what, should have to kill themselves trying to be thin. I'm sick of hearing this sentiment.
It's okay to get fat or be fat or stay fat.
I agree with you. My choices are mine. I'll accept whatever consequences they bring.
Except that your choices affect more than just you. We in this country are extraordinarily selfish and self centered, even if we do not mean to be. This is the way of western society: rugged individualism with little desire to compromise our comfort for the sake of others. That is not too say we are all greedy or we do not help others, quite the contrary in fact. That face of the matter is that obesity (not using the word fat) is a diease by all acceptable medical standards. the causes of obesity, whether they are medical, psycholigical or sociological are well documented and known. Our abject failure to treat obesity is analgous to knowing the causes of cancer yet doing nothing to cure it because cancer is a "lifestyle."
Please explain how MY obesity affects YOU, a total stranger. Because I am among a statistic? What happened to love the sinner and hate the sin. In my opinion, YOU are the one who is being selfish and self-centered. My rights and freedoms are only acceptable as long as they don't impact YOU. But your bigotry has an impact too.0 -
Honestly, I hope this situation is a brutal wake up call for this woman. How can you even get mad at someone for suggesting an option that would be much safer for your child to come into this world?? How in the world can you be a mother and only be thinking of yourself in this situation?? I am a mother..and this makes me sick. I hope to god this woman changes..for her childs sake.
I hope so too, but as you can see we have generations of people who are more interested in their own comfort and "right to do..." than the health and welfare of their children let alone other people. Sadly this is not their fault as most of them learned it from previous generations. It is, however, getting progressively worse, or at least seems like it is. The margin of what we are willing to accept under the auspices of social correctness is growing wider and wider, and while I think we all should learn to love one another and accept one another, we do not have to personally accept disease.
I have to agree with this, though I am a devout Libertarian and feel that no one should be told how to live..... Unless it is effecting the welfare or liberties of others.
If I want to do drugs or hire a prostutute or commit a victimeless crime, I should be free to do so. But once I make a *decision* for myself that effects others, I'm fair game for criticism.
EDIT* In this case, it would be a financial result.0 -
Honestly, I hope this situation is a brutal wake up call for this woman. How can you even get mad at someone for suggesting an option that would be much safer for your child to come into this world?? How in the world can you be a mother and only be thinking of yourself in this situation?? I am a mother..and this makes me sick. I hope to god this woman changes..for her childs sake.
I hope so too, but as you can see we have generations of people who are more interested in their own comfort and "right to do..." than the health and welfare of their children let alone other people. Sadly this is not their fault as most of them learned it from previous generations. It is, however, getting progressively worse, or at least seems like it is. The margin of what we are willing to accept under the auspices of social correctness is growing wider and wider, and while I think we all should learn to love one another and accept one another, we do not have to personally accept disease.
I have to agree with this, though I am a devout Libertarian and feel that no one should be told how to live..... Unless it is effecting the welfare or liberties of others.
If I want to do drugs or hire a prostutute or commit a victimeless crime, I should be free to do so. But once I make a *decision* for myself that effects others, I'm fair game for criticism.
LMAO! So over-eating is now a worse sin than committing an actual crime?0 -
I gave birth to my second child in May only a month after my husband died. I was pre-ecplamptic and EXTREMELY swolen and sick and my daughter was born 7 weeks early. When they took me to the OR to perform the c-section the anesthesiologist looked at me and audibly "tsk'd". He then proceeded to talk to the others in the delivery room like I was not there-he kept saying I don't even feel like trying to start a spinal block/epidural on someone this "fat". Really why would anyone even try to have a baby this heavy...this is ridiculous...i think I will just put her to sleep because this is ridiculous...the nurses and other doctors in the OR were visibly uncomfortable with his ranting against my weight...one of the nurses holding my hand asked who i had coming in to be with me during the delivery and I started crying...I told her my mother was scrubbing up, because my husband had just died...I started crying again b/c i missed him, I was scared for our daughter, the doctor was being HORRIBLE and it was just a terrible experience. The anesthesiologist then yelled at me to hush up my blubbering or else he was going to put me under and stop trying to thread a needle through all of my fat. I was utterly humiliated...it was a terrible experience.
Later the hospital representative came to talk to me about my experience and I told her about the anesthesiologist. She paused and then patted my arm and said sorry-she it had happened before and that the anesthesiologist was just truly concerned about my welfare. Somehow it didn't feel that way to me.
-hug-0 -
If I want to do drugs or hire a prostutute or commit a victimeless crime, I should be free to do so.
Mandy, doing drugs and hiring a prostitute are far from "victimless".0 -
If I want to do drugs or hire a prostutute or commit a victimeless crime, I should be free to do so.
Mandy, doing drugs and hiring a prostitute are far from "victimless".
Not in all cases. If someone chooses to smoke pot who are they hurting? If two people consent to have sex in exchange for money, which one is the victim? Afterall, prositution is legal when a woman marries a man for his money....
Of course, once again with every argument on this thread, there are extreme situations that differ.0 -
Mostly because they're illegal. But that's a whole 'nother can of worms...If I want to do drugs or hire a prostutute or commit a victimeless crime, I should be free to do so.
Mandy, doing drugs and hiring a prostitute are far from "victimless".0 -
I gave birth to my second child in May only a month after my husband died. I was pre-ecplamptic and EXTREMELY swolen and sick and my daughter was born 7 weeks early. When they took me to the OR to perform the c-section the anesthesiologist looked at me and audibly "tsk'd". He then proceeded to talk to the others in the delivery room like I was not there-he kept saying I don't even feel like trying to start a spinal block/epidural on someone this "fat". Really why would anyone even try to have a baby this heavy...this is ridiculous...i think I will just put her to sleep because this is ridiculous...the nurses and other doctors in the OR were visibly uncomfortable with his ranting against my weight...one of the nurses holding my hand asked who i had coming in to be with me during the delivery and I started crying...I told her my mother was scrubbing up, because my husband had just died...I started crying again b/c i missed him, I was scared for our daughter, the doctor was being HORRIBLE and it was just a terrible experience. The anesthesiologist then yelled at me to hush up my blubbering or else he was going to put me under and stop trying to thread a needle through all of my fat. I was utterly humiliated...it was a terrible experience.
Later the hospital representative came to talk to me about my experience and I told her about the anesthesiologist. She paused and then patted my arm and said sorry-she it had happened before and that the anesthesiologist was just truly concerned about my welfare. Somehow it didn't feel that way to me.
When I read stuff like this I wish I could punch them in the throat. (I'm not a violent person though) The thought just feels nice...LOL The "good girl" in me remembers, What goes around comes around. You are a beautiful woman, and no one should EVER belittle another individiual like that. I am so sorry you have had to experiance all of this, and I pray you become a stronger person regardless of someone else's opinion. (((hugs)))0 -
I delivered in my small town hospital when I was over 300 lb and my doctor never said anything about sending me somewhere else. I can't see why her weight alone would require her to be sent to a "more equipped" hospital. Unless she had other issues that she is just not mentioning...?0
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Honestly, I hope this situation is a brutal wake up call for this woman. How can you even get mad at someone for suggesting an option that would be much safer for your child to come into this world?? How in the world can you be a mother and only be thinking of yourself in this situation?? I am a mother..and this makes me sick. I hope to god this woman changes..for her childs sake.
I hope so too, but as you can see we have generations of people who are more interested in their own comfort and "right to do..." than the health and welfare of their children let alone other people. Sadly this is not their fault as most of them learned it from previous generations. It is, however, getting progressively worse, or at least seems like it is. The margin of what we are willing to accept under the auspices of social correctness is growing wider and wider, and while I think we all should learn to love one another and accept one another, we do not have to personally accept disease.
I have to agree with this, though I am a devout Libertarian and feel that no one should be told how to live..... Unless it is effecting the welfare or liberties of others.
If I want to do drugs or hire a prostutute or commit a victimeless crime, I should be free to do so. But once I make a *decision* for myself that effects others, I'm fair game for criticism.
LMAO! So over-eating is now a worse sin than committing an actual crime?
That's not what I said. And just because something is a crime doesn't mean it should be. In the state of Indiana it is illegal to have a puppet show or tumbling event for money.0 -
I delivered in my small town hospital when I was over 300 lb and my doctor never said anything about sending me somewhere else. I can't see why her weight alone would require her to be sent to a "more equipped" hospital. Unless she had other issues that she is just not mentioning...?
Equipment. My nurse friend said their beds are made to hold 400lbs max but in an OB GYN setting, the stirrups may not be able to support her weight.0 -
Really this topic has died yet...0
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I have no idea why people think fat people, no matter what, should have to kill themselves trying to be thin. I'm sick of hearing this sentiment.
It's okay to get fat or be fat or stay fat.
I agree with you. My choices are mine. I'll accept whatever consequences they bring.
Except that your choices affect more than just you. We in this country are extraordinarily selfish and self centered, even if we do not mean to be. This is the way of western society: rugged individualism with little desire to compromise our comfort for the sake of others. That is not too say we are all greedy or we do not help others, quite the contrary in fact. That face of the matter is that obesity (not using the word fat) is a diease by all acceptable medical standards. the causes of obesity, whether they are medical, psycholigical or sociological are well documented and known. Our abject failure to treat obesity is analgous to knowing the causes of cancer yet doing nothing to cure it because cancer is a "lifestyle."
Please explain how MY obesity affects YOU, a total stranger. Because I am among a statistic? What happened to love the sinner and hate the sin. In my opinion, YOU are the one who is being selfish and self-centered. My rights and freedoms are only acceptable as long as they don't impact YOU. But your bigotry has an impact too.
First of all, the choices each of us makes have ripples across all of society. I am not a bigot nor a hater, in fact just the opposite but you illustrate perfectly what I am speaking about. Discussing in an open group my opinion that obesity is a treatable disease which should not be accepted is neither bigotry nor hate, just the cold hard truth. We cannot continue to live in a world where we simply live and let live, when said living is detrimental. As for you being a statistic, those statistics impact the cost of healthcare not only to me but to everyone. You are free to do as you want, and I would never infringe on that, but if one choses to exercise poor habits, than those of us who are trying to make changes should not be asked to carry the burden. There are PLENTY of other diseases for which we all should chip in to treat rather than one which is medically treatable and preventable before it becomes life threatening. You do not know me and I do not know you, so calling me selfish is a bit shirt sighted. My observation that continuing in behavior which is detrimental to one's child, spouse, life and the rest of us is most certainly selfish. I am not sure anyone can formulate a sensible argument that it is not. It appears that you are working dilligently to improve your fitness, so I am not sure why you are even arguing for accepting obesity.0 -
I delivered in my small town hospital when I was over 300 lb and my doctor never said anything about sending me somewhere else. I can't see why her weight alone would require her to be sent to a "more equipped" hospital. Unless she had other issues that she is just not mentioning...?
Equipment. My nurse friend said their beds are made to hold 400lbs max but in an OB GYN setting, the stirrups may not be able to support her weight.
Oh : /0 -
I gave birth to my second child in May only a month after my husband died. I was pre-ecplamptic and EXTREMELY swolen and sick and my daughter was born 7 weeks early. When they took me to the OR to perform the c-section the anesthesiologist looked at me and audibly "tsk'd". He then proceeded to talk to the others in the delivery room like I was not there-he kept saying I don't even feel like trying to start a spinal block/epidural on someone this "fat". Really why would anyone even try to have a baby this heavy...this is ridiculous...i think I will just put her to sleep because this is ridiculous...the nurses and other doctors in the OR were visibly uncomfortable with his ranting against my weight...one of the nurses holding my hand asked who i had coming in to be with me during the delivery and I started crying...I told her my mother was scrubbing up, because my husband had just died...I started crying again b/c i missed him, I was scared for our daughter, the doctor was being HORRIBLE and it was just a terrible experience. The anesthesiologist then yelled at me to hush up my blubbering or else he was going to put me under and stop trying to thread a needle through all of my fat. I was utterly humiliated...it was a terrible experience.
Later the hospital representative came to talk to me about my experience and I told her about the anesthesiologist. She paused and then patted my arm and said sorry-she it had happened before and that the anesthesiologist was just truly concerned about my welfare. Somehow it didn't feel that way to me.
When I read stuff like this I wish I could punch them in the throat. (I'm not a violent person though) The thought just feels nice...LOL The "good girl" in me remembers, What goes around comes around. You are a beautiful woman, and no one should EVER belittle another individiual like that. I am so sorry you have had to experiance all of this, and I pray you become a stronger person regardless of someone else's opinion. (((hugs)))
This is exactly what I'm talking about. This is why we have to be a little more sensitive about the issue of obesity. Sure, people make bad decisions every day, all the time. Sometimes it is over-eating, sometimes it is using drugs. Self-destructive behavior can be defined in so many different ways. Either way, I don't think there is one person anywhere that can claim to have NEVER made a bad choice. That doesn't mean anyone has a right to hate you for those choices. Even if, you have the perception that that person's decision affects you in some way.0 -
Fat shaming is a real thing and all people regardless of size and shape should still be treated with HUMAN decency. So please stop comparing people to farm animals.
HOWEVER, being told you need to lose weight by a doctor is not fat shaming, they are just doing their job, as long as they do it professionally. People are very sensitive about their weight because a lot of people DO discriminate, but they need to learn to tell the difference between people discriminating and people being concerned or real.0 -
I have no idea why people think fat people, no matter what, should have to kill themselves trying to be thin. I'm sick of hearing this sentiment.
It's okay to get fat or be fat or stay fat.
I agree with you. My choices are mine. I'll accept whatever consequences they bring.
Except that your choices affect more than just you. We in this country are extraordinarily selfish and self centered, even if we do not mean to be. This is the way of western society: rugged individualism with little desire to compromise our comfort for the sake of others. That is not too say we are all greedy or we do not help others, quite the contrary in fact. That face of the matter is that obesity (not using the word fat) is a diease by all acceptable medical standards. the causes of obesity, whether they are medical, psycholigical or sociological are well documented and known. Our abject failure to treat obesity is analgous to knowing the causes of cancer yet doing nothing to cure it because cancer is a "lifestyle."
Please explain how MY obesity affects YOU, a total stranger. Because I am among a statistic? What happened to love the sinner and hate the sin. In my opinion, YOU are the one who is being selfish and self-centered. My rights and freedoms are only acceptable as long as they don't impact YOU. But your bigotry has an impact too.
First of all, the choices each of us makes have ripples across all of society. I am not a bigot nor a hater, in fact just the opposite but you illustrate perfectly what I am speaking about. Discussing in an open group my opinion that obesity is a treatable disease which should not be accepted is neither bigotry nor hate, just the cold hard truth. We cannot continue to live in a world where we simply live and let live, when said living is detrimental. As for you being a statistic, those statistics impact the cost of healthcare not only to me but to everyone. You are free to do as you want, and I would never infringe on that, but if one choses to exercise poor habits, than those of us who are trying to make changes should not be asked to carry the burden. There are PLENTY of other diseases for which we all should chip in to treat rather than one which is medically treatable and preventable before it becomes life threatening. You do not know me and I do not know you, so calling me selfish is a bit shirt sighted. My observation that continuing in behavior which is detrimental to one's child, spouse, life and the rest of us is most certainly selfish. I am not sure anyone can formulate a sensible argument that it is not. It appears that you are working dilligently to improve your fitness, so I am not sure why you are even arguing for accepting obesity.
And did you feel that way when you were 145 lbs heavier? Obviously, at some point, you didn't feel that way because you let yourself become 145 lbs overweight.0 -
I would think she would want the best care she could get, regardless.0
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I have no idea why people think fat people, no matter what, should have to kill themselves trying to be thin. I'm sick of hearing this sentiment.
It's okay to get fat or be fat or stay fat.
I agree with you. My choices are mine. I'll accept whatever consequences they bring.
Except that your choices affect more than just you. We in this country are extraordinarily selfish and self centered, even if we do not mean to be. This is the way of western society: rugged individualism with little desire to compromise our comfort for the sake of others. That is not too say we are all greedy or we do not help others, quite the contrary in fact. That face of the matter is that obesity (not using the word fat) is a diease by all acceptable medical standards. the causes of obesity, whether they are medical, psycholigical or sociological are well documented and known. Our abject failure to treat obesity is analgous to knowing the causes of cancer yet doing nothing to cure it because cancer is a "lifestyle."
Please explain how MY obesity affects YOU, a total stranger. Because I am among a statistic? What happened to love the sinner and hate the sin. In my opinion, YOU are the one who is being selfish and self-centered. My rights and freedoms are only acceptable as long as they don't impact YOU. But your bigotry has an impact too.
First of all, the choices each of us makes have ripples across all of society. I am not a bigot nor a hater, in fact just the opposite but you illustrate perfectly what I am speaking about. Discussing in an open group my opinion that obesity is a treatable disease which should not be accepted is neither bigotry nor hate, just the cold hard truth. We cannot continue to live in a world where we simply live and let live, when said living is detrimental. As for you being a statistic, those statistics impact the cost of healthcare not only to me but to everyone. You are free to do as you want, and I would never infringe on that, but if one choses to exercise poor habits, than those of us who are trying to make changes should not be asked to carry the burden. There are PLENTY of other diseases for which we all should chip in to treat rather than one which is medically treatable and preventable before it becomes life threatening. You do not know me and I do not know you, so calling me selfish is a bit shirt sighted. My observation that continuing in behavior which is detrimental to one's child, spouse, life and the rest of us is most certainly selfish. I am not sure anyone can formulate a sensible argument that it is not. It appears that you are working dilligently to improve your fitness, so I am not sure why you are even arguing for accepting obesity.
And did you feel that way when you were 145 lbs heavier? Obviously, at some point, you didn't feel that way because you let yourself become 145 lbs overweight.
You are making a devil's advocate argument that does not make alot of sense. It sounds like you think we should simply accept people's behavior when it is destructive. It is quite possible I allowed myself to gain weight because I did not take the health concerns seriously enough. Frankly, I cannot tell you why I gained so much weight except that I liked to eat. Regardless of the reasons, I was wrong to allow myself to gain so much weight. I do not understand why you are advocating for obesity? If you read all my posts you would see that first and foremost I advocate lovingly embracing all people regardless of their situation. Lovingly embracing an alcoholic, drug addict or food addict does not mean I lovingly embrace his or her bad habit or think it should be viewed acceptably by society. I tend to lean more liberterian also meaning people should be free to do as they please, but with that freedom comes the responsibility of not screaming when care you need for problems caused by said behavior is not available. In much the same way, I had to spend 3 months on a medical weight loss plan to show my dedication to LapBand, people who are suffering from addiction or obesity should demonstrate a willingness to get well. As long as this willingness exists than by all means throw the kitchen sink at them to help.0 -
My replies here would totally derail this thread. I've already got a warning for that!Not in all cases. If someone chooses to smoke pot who are they hurting? If two people consent to have sex in exchange for money, which one is the victim?
Meh. Not the same, but I'm guessing you were just being snarky.Afterall, prositution is legal when a woman marries a man for his money....0 -
He should have just told her the truth. Not lied about the reason. Falsely stating that it is "company policy" is a cop out and unprofessional.
We have no idea what actually transpired. Perhaps the doctor DID try to reason with her and explain the situation before saying that.
This woman does not sound like a reasonable individual.0 -
(removed comment so as not to piss everyone off)0
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