Morbidly Obese mother files complaint

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Replies

  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    but i consider it fatshaming when ladies get looked down upon by shop assistants in clothing stores(it's no buisness of this people to direct how much anyone should weigh

    This is want I'm arguing against. I actually agree that the doctor was within his/her rights in this particular case. But the overall tone of this thread is hate-mongering.

    As far as the argument that the cost of the obesity epidemic gives people the right to mistreat others, that's a total crock of *kitten*. Whether anyone in this thread is trying to "fat-shame" isn't really the point. The point is that this thread gives more than enough justifications for a person to "hate" even if that isn't the intention of the OP in the first place. Someone out there is reading this thread and agreeing with all of you and getting ready to go out into the world to find an obese person to tear down with all that they have read in this thread as justification.
  • dovetail22uk
    dovetail22uk Posts: 339 Member
    Bet that kid is going to come out eating a burger.

    *ducks*
  • HollyColeman91413
    HollyColeman91413 Posts: 78 Member
    Being that I am a few lbs heavier than that women, I do not see why she is complaining. If i were a mother I would want the best care for me and my child. I dont think the doctor was wrong for sending her to anouther hospital, but to say it was policy and knowing that it wasnt he should of just told her the truth. And how could she think she is healthy? Shoot like i said im a little heavier than she is and i am sick all the time i hurt all the time my ankle swell up all the time, i have high blood pressure which i have to take meds for, and i have asthma. there is no possible way she could be healthy.!!!!!! she needs to stop and think about waht her doctor thinks is best for her!
  • dovetail22uk
    dovetail22uk Posts: 339 Member
    Being that I am a few lbs heavier than that women, I do not see why she is complaining. If i were a mother I would want the best care for me and my child. I dont think the doctor was wrong for sending her to anouther hospital, but to say it was policy and knowing that it wasnt he should of just told her the truth. And how could she think she is healthy? Shoot like i said im a little heavier than she is and i am sick all the time i hurt all the time my ankle swell up all the time, i have high blood pressure which i have to take meds for, and i have asthma. there is no possible way she could be healthy.!!!!!! she needs to stop and think about waht her doctor thinks is best for her!

    Good for you - you are the voice of reason! Some people can't see beyond the dollar signs...
  • moonsforeyes
    moonsforeyes Posts: 228
    Hard to say. I think the doctor was honestly just trying to be realistic with the situation. I think he made the right call and don't really believe it to be discrimination. Everyone is trying to get everyone in trouble these days though sadly.
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    It's possible that she can be that heavy and have no health problems, at least not yet. My highest weight, I was around 230, and I'm 5'2. I literally have no health problems besides my thyroid disorder. No risk of diabetes, very good blood pressure. I never ate too badly to begin with, I'm not a lazy bum sitting on her butt all day, I have two little ones to chase after. I just got the short straw when it comes to my metabolism and thyroid.
  • BamsieEkhaya
    BamsieEkhaya Posts: 657 Member
    do not blame the doctor...she's morbidly obese, carrying HUGE (excuse the pun) risks with the pregnancy for both herself and her unborn child.

    face the fact...doctor doesn't want to take that risk and rather than being a *kitten*...he is referring her to someone/where that can help and have the facilities.....stop her whining and go to the referred hospital..

    poor doctor was probably only trying to be a little more sensitive saying it was hospital policy rather than turn around and say....err you're too fat ! (admittedly lying is NOT good!!).
  • OneDimSim
    OneDimSim Posts: 188 Member
    As a neonatal RN I have seen what morbid obesity can do during deliver and added care a baby may need in the NICU. This MD does not have a vendetta against overweight people. He is out for the safety of his patient and her unborn child and thats it. Too many "moms" get all fired up about themselves and forget once you're pregnant you have another person to keep safe lied but if it were me, I think that may have been the easiest way to tell her. When I have to give someone an answer they won't like at work I always say "it's board policy", knowing that they will back me up on my decisions.


    ^^This -

    I am obese and if i had a baby at this weight I would want a doctor to have my and my child's safety in mind - not being scared over being sued
  • jcmartin0313
    jcmartin0313 Posts: 574 Member
    but i consider it fatshaming when ladies get looked down upon by shop assistants in clothing stores(it's no buisness of this people to direct how much anyone should weigh

    This is want I'm arguing against. I actually agree that the doctor was within his/her rights in this particular case. But the overall tone of this thread is hate-mongering.

    As far as the argument that the cost of the obesity epidemic gives people the right to mistreat others, that's a total crock of *kitten*. Whether anyone in this thread is trying to "fat-shame" isn't really the point. The point is that this thread gives more than enough justifications for a person to "hate" even if that isn't the intention of the OP in the first place. Someone out there is reading this thread and agreeing with all of you and getting ready to go out into the world to find an obese person to tear down with all that they have read in this thread as justification.

    No one is arguing that obesity or the cost of obesity gives anyone a right to shame, discriminate or hate anyone else, just like no other vice, sin, habit or addiction does. However, telling someone who is obese and refuse to makes changes, that they are living a healthy and selfish lifestyle is not shaming them, hating them or anything else. Alcoholics are selfish, drug addicts are selfish, gluttons are selfish and the list goes on. I am selfish because I have vices including obesity. The difference is I readily admit that I am a flawed being and have taken steps to correct or get help correcting my vices. There would be considerably less hate and shame, if the perception was that people who suffer from addictions and other self inflicted diseases truly want to change, but I have myself during my weight loss journey seen people time and again be given golden opportunities to lose weight and blow them.
  • donteatmycookie
    donteatmycookie Posts: 21 Member


    So lets say that plane seats are suddenly all the size of first class seats instead of coach. That cuts down the amount of passengers by 20%. Also cutting down the luggage and booking fees and ticket sales by 20%. WHich means airline prices will go up about 25% for everyone.

    Are obese people going to pay the extra $100 every time I need to fly somewhere for business? I didn't think so.

    Let them pay for 2 seats, because that's what they're taking up. You could apply this model to countless other industries all over the world.

    Airlines should be free! Air travel is my right as a human being! All things should accommodate ALL people at all time for maximum fairness.

    tumblr_meigo6Utc61qcnr1ao1_250.gif

    ^^These is facts, y'all. Somebody send a lawsuit to Jesus.
  • donteatmycookie
    donteatmycookie Posts: 21 Member

    I'm sure you'd be happier if they changed the NAACP to the National Association for the Advancement of People, too.
    Also, promiscuous sex is a poor lifestyle choice now? What?

    I'm sorry. Did nobody see this but me? I assumed there would be some sort of alarm that went off when stupidity reached this level.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    There would be considerably less hate and shame, if the perception was that people who suffer from addictions and other self inflicted diseases truly want to change, but I have myself during my weight loss journey seen people time and again be given golden opportunities to lose weight and blow them.

    A lot of people with addictions don't want to change (and I'm not just talking about weight/food). Some believe they don't need to change, that there's no problem with them, or that the problems that surface because of their addictions are all someone else's fault. If the "perception was that people who suffer from addictions and other self inflicted diseases truly want to change", you'd also have to assume that people want to take some personal responsibility for their own actions, and that's not the case too often these days.
  • oorenfoo
    oorenfoo Posts: 25
    Being that I am a few lbs heavier than that women, I do not see why she is complaining. If i were a mother I would want the best care for me and my child. I dont think the doctor was wrong for sending her to anouther hospital, but to say it was policy and knowing that it wasnt he should of just told her the truth. And how could she think she is healthy? Shoot like i said im a little heavier than she is and i am sick all the time i hurt all the time my ankle swell up all the time, i have high blood pressure which i have to take meds for, and i have asthma. there is no possible way she could be healthy.!!!!!! she needs to stop and think about waht her doctor thinks is best for her!

    Someone get me a god damned rep+ button!
    As a neonatal RN I have seen what morbid obesity can do during deliver and added care a baby may need in the NICU. This MD does not have a vendetta against overweight people. He is out for the safety of his patient and her unborn child and thats it. Too many "moms" get all fired up about themselves and forget once you're pregnant you have another person to keep safe lied but if it were me, I think that may have been the easiest way to tell her. When I have to give someone an answer they won't like at work I always say "it's board policy", knowing that they will back me up on my decisions.


    ^^This -

    I am obese and if i had a baby at this weight I would want a doctor to have my and my child's safety in mind - not being scared over being sued

    And another one...
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
    If a doctor or hospital was not equipped to treat me the last thing I would do is complain. I would find a hospital that could give me and my baby the best care. Her weight has created a complication. Doctors take an oath to do no harm. What more can you ask for than a doctor that is honest enough to assess your situation and say 'I am not qualified. But here are people that are.'?

    Word!
    When they took my 5-minute-old son 2 hours away to Baton Rouge while I was still even having contractions and hadn't even seen him yet the last thing I was going to do was complain.

    And if this woman hadn't made a big stink about it, no one in the world would know how fat she is.
  • SwimFan1981
    SwimFan1981 Posts: 1,430 Member

    I'm sure you'd be happier if they changed the NAACP to the National Association for the Advancement of People, too.
    Also, promiscuous sex is a poor lifestyle choice now? What?

    I'm sorry. Did nobody see this but me? I assumed there would be some sort of alarm that went off when stupidity reached this level.

    I did! Absolutely moronic.....
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
    "lot of people with addictions don't want to change (and I'm not just talking about weight/food). Some believe they don't need to change, that there's no problem with them, or that the problems that surface because of their addictions are all someone else's fault. If the "perception was that people who suffer from addictions and other self inflicted diseases truly want to change", you'd also have to assume that people want to take some personal responsibility for their own actions, and that's not the case too often these days. "

    I don't think that is true. I cannot think of one person I know who is fat but does not care about changing. Usually they need help but can't get it, can't afford it, have been unable to stop on their own, think it is impossible to change or have another psychological issue. I think more help needs to be given to fat people than is already given. I have felt my entire life that not nearly enough support is given to help me lose weight, the support that would be given to an alcoholic, bulimic, anorexic, gambler, or any other addicted person. Overeating is a compulsive behavior that is very hard to stop. I have wanted to change for years but so far have not been able to. I was on meds that were kind of contributing to my weight gain and made me very hungry. Since I stopped taking them I have lost weight with ww. I also admit that I eat to much, but it is so hard to be perfect in your eating to lose weight when you have always overeaten. It is a sin, bad habit, gluttony, but it is not any worse than other sin that I may have. All sin leads to death. I do feel a quite hateful tone from this thread like others have mentioned. People need to be compassionate and supportive. Overeating can have such a stranglehold on a persons life, even if they do want to change.
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
    "lot of people with addictions don't want to change (and I'm not just talking about weight/food). Some believe they don't need to change, that there's no problem with them, or that the problems that surface because of their addictions are all someone else's fault. If the "perception was that people who suffer from addictions and other self inflicted diseases truly want to change", you'd also have to assume that people want to take some personal responsibility for their own actions, and that's not the case too often these days. "
    I don't think that is true. I cannot think of one person I know who is fat but does not care about changing. Usually they need help but can't get it, can't afford it, have been unable to stop on their own, think it is impossible to change or have another psychological issue. I think more help needs to be given to fat people than is already given. I have felt my entire life that not nearly enough support is given to help me lose weight, the support that would be given to an alcoholic, bulimic, anorexic, gambler, or any other addicted person. Overeating is a compulsive behavior that is very hard to stop. I have wanted to change for years but so far have not been able to. I was on meds that were kind of contributing to my weight gain and made me very hungry. Since I stopped taking them I have lost weight with ww. I also admit that I eat to much, but it is so hard to be perfect in your eating to lose weight when you have always overeaten. It is a sin, bad habit, gluttony, but it is not any worse than other sin that I may have. All sin leads to death. I do feel a quite hateful tone from this thread like others have mentioned. People need to be compassionate and supportive. Overeating can have such a stranglehold on a persons life, even if they do want to change.
  • DingosAteMyBaby
    DingosAteMyBaby Posts: 1
    Hello! :flowerforyou:

    Interesting thread/topic... I read it all and was compelled to touch on things that I feel had yet to be fleshed out.

    1. The woman in question (Kaly Deel) is quoted in the article as saying that the doctor did NOT state that the other hospital was in her/her child's best interest:

    "(The doctor) said it was policy that I had to go there. She did not say it was in the best interest of me or the baby." Deel said if the doctor would have said it was in the best interest of her or her baby, "then I would have been OK and I would have gone with her decision."

    2. According the OP, Mrs. Deel was heavier during her first pregnancy four years prior, which occured at the same hospital. Suggesting that perhaps she already is on a healthy eating program and seeking to get fitter? Maybe she just wants to have her second child at the same hospital? ("IU was very good to me with my first son") After all, she is 'only' three pounds (!) over the faux policy weight.

    And:

    "Deel said her sister, who also weighs more than 350 pounds, was given the same policy line by a different doctor before the sister gave birth in Indianapolis last fall. Between her sister's BAD EXPERIENCE there, Deel's worries about the long drive and the extra costs associated with multiple trips to Indianapolis, she wants to give birth closer to home."

    3. I don't know if it's been edited since first post, but it does not state anywhere in the article linked that Mrs. Deel is suing the doctor or seeking any financial gains. Is this something she indicated to you personally OP? Mrs. Deel's final quote in the article: "I'm hoping they'll have a different outlook on bigger people and not treat us differently than the other people." suggests that she was attempting to shed light on the issue by speaking the media, to avoid others going through similar things, since this is the second time it had occurred.

    Seems like a mother wanting the best care possible for herself and baby to me, just like she got four years ago. She does not want to go to the alternative hospital because, amongst other reasons, her sister had a negative experience there. Odd that the issue wasn't raised when she was heavier with gestational diabetes and high blood pressure to consider, no?

    Yes, she is 353lbs. Right now. For all we know, Mrs. Deel started at 400lbs + and is already steadily losing weight; she just happened to be at 353lbs when the doc broke the news. Fact is, if she has indeed lost weight as previously said, she is already HEALTHIER than when she started, judging from the fact she no longer has the issues she did with her first pregnancy.

    Just my thoughts.
  • cubbies77
    cubbies77 Posts: 607 Member
    I don't think it's right that he lied to her. He should have explained her options. He took the chicken way out of it, and that's wrong.

    Chicken? In today's age of sue at every chance, the cost of malpractice insurance, and the odds of a complication...I don't fault the doctor at all.

    Neither do I. What I said was that I don't think it's right he LIED to her. I faulted him for lying, not for refusing to treat her. He should have explained he didn't feel comfortable, due to her health issues and size, and that it would be best to consult a specialist.
  • mythreeboysandme
    mythreeboysandme Posts: 1
    I am a mother of three who's weight has sky rocketed because of hypothyroidusm and I am 344lbs. Before I had children I was a healthy weight of 129lbs and had no health problems after my first born is when I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism which slows the metablolism and causes you to feel as your never full. I have recently decided to do something for myself and started to use this app and began loosing weight with the help of my doctor. The doctor in this story is completely right for making his decison my last pregnancy I was pregnant with twins around 4 and a half months I lost my baby girl and was put on strict bed rest. I had my son at 29 weeks and he was life flighted to Duke Hospital. He was in the neonatal icu for 2 months and is fixing to turn four years old in may. :) My wieght was up to 350 when I had him. I know how risky it was and regret it but the best advice for her is focus on your health for you and your children and don't sue the doctor he is only trying to keep you and your baby safe and outta harms way. If the hospital isn't equipped for risky births trust me from experience go where they are prepared every min. counts. I thank the lord above for all three of my sons and wish my daughter was here with us but everything happens for a reason.

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