Why do men sabotage wife or girlfriends weight loss?

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  • cubbies77
    cubbies77 Posts: 607 Member
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    My boyfriend always offers me some of whatever he's eating because he thinks it's impolite to eat in front of someone and not offer to share. I do the same when I'm with him and/or another friend. Sometimes I take a bite if it fits into my calories, and sometimes I don't. No biggie. I don't see anything wrong with offering to share. It's polite.

    He doesn't wave it in my face, though. If your boyfriend continues to wave it in your face, explain how immature it is and ask that he please respect you the first time you say, "No, thank you." If he continues to wave it in your face after you have that talk, then you have a bigger issue at-hand: as in, he needs to grow up.
  • shawnaarbaugh
    shawnaarbaugh Posts: 6
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    I have a husband that does this to me odd thing is when I am not dieting he offers nothing but as soon as he sees a few pounds going off he starts.. So I just asked and it may be the same thing with you just ask him but my husbands reply " I dont mean to but when I see you I know you are already beautiful and I am afraid when you lose the weight there may be someone better than me you find." I never do anything to make him think this way he just feels it and I am glad he finally told me so I can show him hes all I want with or without my weight:)
  • Midnight_Sunshine
    Midnight_Sunshine Posts: 369 Member
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    My boyfriend gets all butt-hurt too when I say no to treats he offers me.

    That's not MY problem.
  • mizzie1980
    mizzie1980 Posts: 379 Member
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    It is a little insensitive of him to wave it in your face after you said "no, thank you". I'm assuming he knows your reasons. Maybe try explaining it to him again, including the reasons why you want to lose weight and your plan to do so. Let him know that he can help by not waving it in your face. But don't expect him to not snack around you, that's not really fair. Also have this talk at a time when he's not snacking and you are not upset.

    I do have to take issue with the title of the thread though, "why do men sabotage wife or girlfriends weight loss". For one, many men (some are even on here) are working on their own weight loss. For two, many men are very supportive of their wives or girlfriend's weight loss, mine included.
  • Lt_Starbuck
    Lt_Starbuck Posts: 576 Member
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    Personal responsibility for your actions and emotions and your own self-discipline are traits you should encourage in yourself daily, instead of deciding that another person (that you love) is trying to stop you from reaching your personal goals.

    People do not purposefully try to stop other people from reaching their goals. They joke around with each other though. Brush it off.

    Unless you are a superhero and there is a supervillain living in your city.
  • Anthonydaman
    Anthonydaman Posts: 854 Member
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    I would say insecurity, but I think men just don't have to be as critical of what they consume as woman do, due to metabolism, society, etc. I know, it's not fair
  • ApexLeader
    ApexLeader Posts: 580 Member
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    don't women do the same thing to men?

    i think you mean "why do people sabotage other people's weight loss"
  • Peanutbutterx
    Peanutbutterx Posts: 332
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    bring/buy your own snacks that are healthy when you hang out with him, i have to do that with my boyfriend
  • ethompso0105
    ethompso0105 Posts: 418 Member
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    I asked a BF once, straight out, why he did that. He was honest and told me that it was his own insecurities that caused him to do it. Once we had an honest conversation about it, he quieted down with his pushy snack offers. It could also just be teasing--you know what they say when you're back in grade school--guys only tease the girls they really like. LOL
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    I really think guys can't win. If he didn't offer to share he'd be selfish and uncaring about your needs. Just cause your on a diet doesn't mean he is. Have self-control, say no thanks and move on with your day.

    Seriously thank you.

    I'm a man.

    I went through the exact same thing as I'm sure everyone else on this thread did.

    It's not a gender thing.

    It's just what happens when you practice self control.
  • mustgetmuscles1
    mustgetmuscles1 Posts: 3,346 Member
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    Punch him in his mangina and tell him "NO MEANS NO". Problem solved.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    I totally get it, my boyfriend is always waving stuff in my face and I'm like 'Put your pants back on'....at least 2% of the time.
  • Midnight_Sunshine
    Midnight_Sunshine Posts: 369 Member
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    Take the chocolate bar he is "waving in front of your face" and stick it up his nose!
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    Couldn't possibly be someone's own issues with food. It's always someone else's fault and "sabotage." Having the self control to go to the kitchen and get, oh, I don't know, some sliced cucumber or carrots or something like that to snack on is really tough stuff. Get up. Get at snack that is maybe 40 calories of something you think is healthy, and stop accusing someone who merely offers you a potato chip of trying to ruin your life.
  • da_bears10089
    da_bears10089 Posts: 1,791 Member
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    i agree that men kind of get the shaft when it comes to their significant other trying to lose weight.

    1. we expect that since WE are on this diet, that we can't have snack foods around, because it's too tempting. Sorry dude that has no desire to lose weight, no more Swiss Cake Rolls for you.

    2. we want them to be supportive, but if they make any comment about, "do you really need a 2nd helping?" sets us off the edge and we become a red-eyed devil about "i can't eat whatever the hell i want"

    3. here *said name* have some turkey bacon because i heard it's so much better for you, and have some skim milk because it's better for you. wtf, i didn't ASK for turkey bacon. i want PIG bacon.

    4. for the people that say "if he doesn't like it, he can go buy his own food" and he actually does go buy his own food, he's not supporting your lifestyle choice.

    5. *said name* walks by with some chocolate chip cookies and plops down on the couch... "well thanks for asking me if i wanted any cookies"

    So, i'm sorry husband if i do any of these things to you, and i know i do.
  • Midnight_Sunshine
    Midnight_Sunshine Posts: 369 Member
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    I totally get it, my boyfriend is always waving stuff in my face and I'm like 'Put your pants back on'....at least 2% of the time.

    Aaaand this is why we're friends
  • VersusTheMoose
    VersusTheMoose Posts: 16
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    ..I support my girlfriend's weight-loss. She has lost almost as much as me and we are supporting each other..

    Ah, generalizations are great..
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    I would say insecurity, but I think men just don't have to be as critical of what they consume as woman do, due to metabolism, society, etc. I know, it's not fair

    . . . . . :noway:
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    This is what I do and it always throws people off say it in your brashiest old lady voice. "NO, Jeebus christo look at me I'm fat enough if I eat that I'll break the toilet."

    Most people wont push you anymore when you talk about destroying the plumbing.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Nobody can sabotoge you other than yourself.

    Either learn to say no, or eat the food and enjoy it.
    You are on a diet, he is not.


    Jiminey christmas ladies stop being nags.

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