Why do men sabotage wife or girlfriends weight loss?

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  • Ange34
    Ange34 Posts: 12 Member
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    I hear ya - my husband does the same some days and other days tries to be supportive. So frustrating.

    I would say that they are afraid of change because if you become a healthy weight, then they have no excuse not to be (my husband has the beer gut look). Also I truly believe they have some fear that once their wife becomes a healthy weight, they will somehow be hotter than they are and it boils down to self-image. Or they think that the wife is losing weight to be more attractive to other men - take your pick but all in all - the situation sucks cause it's not like we don't WANT to eat, just trying to retrain ourselves.

    By the way, it does get easier - once your stomach shrinks and your cravings go down.

    A
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    I totally get it, my boyfriend is always waving stuff in my face and I'm like 'Put your pants back on'....at least 2% of the time.

    Aaaand this is why we're friends

    ;) XXXXXXXX :heart:
  • dangerousdumpling
    dangerousdumpling Posts: 1,109 Member
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    I have seen some spouses/SOs do this and I don't know why either. I'm not talking about offering. I'm talking about real attempts to sabotage. A friend's husband did that to me recently. He repeatedly offered junk food and soda. I said no about 6 times and then just started ignoring him. I was annoyed that he thought I'd be that weak and give in to his obvious attempt to ruin my day of healthy eating. It wasn't about being hospitable. He seemed to get enjoyment out of it and I wasn't about to give that to him. That's what my friend has to deal with. I'm just glad I don't have to deal with that in my family. I buy treats for my family and don't have a problem not eating them and they don't push them on me. My kids will offer and accept a 'no thank you' and my husband never offers because he knows how hard I'm working to stay on track and he wants me to look good.
  • currierand
    currierand Posts: 155 Member
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    People snack in the real world. It is your choice when and where to do so. If this truly is a lifestyle change, then you have to acknowledge that fact and "spend" your calories as you see fit. No one can sabotage you unless you give them the power to.

    Geez, who needs Oprah when I sound all preachy and *kitten*? Testify!
  • FBU3760
    FBU3760 Posts: 4
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    I'm an expert in handling people like this: just shoot him.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
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    People do not purposefully try to stop other people from reaching their goals. They joke around with each other though. Brush it off.

    Unless you are a superhero and there is a supervillain living in your city.

    <3
  • now_or_never13
    now_or_never13 Posts: 1,575 Member
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    I do have to take issue with the title of the thread though, "why do men sabotage wife or girlfriends weight loss". For one, many men (some are even on here) are working on their own weight loss. For two, many men are very supportive of their wives or girlfriend's weight loss, mine included.

    This as well. Not all men are trying to keep their wife/girlfriend overweight by sabotaging their efforts.

    A lot of men are incredibly supportive like the above poster pointed out or trying to reach their own weight loss goals.

    My husband is very supportive of my efforts.

    Your title groups all men into the not supportive, sabotaging group which is definatley not true.
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
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    I think your perspective should change. The world isn't always out to get you.
  • fwilson1031
    fwilson1031 Posts: 88
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    I'd punch him in the face.
  • rocket_ace
    rocket_ace Posts: 380 Member
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    because people don't care about what you care about. even family members, who may intimately know how much something means to you, don't really get it all the time - they think one little slip here and there isn't a big deal, and sure it isn't, but we know that one slip kinda puts the whole house of cards in jeopardy.
  • serenapitala
    serenapitala Posts: 441 Member
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    That's not sabotage, he just doesn't get how much it bugs you.
  • KenDubya74
    KenDubya74 Posts: 196 Member
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    Face it, temptation is going to be there all the time. Whether it's from your boyfriend's snack/eating habits or somebody else...or even a friggin fast food ad on TV. The bottom line is this... YOU have to exercise WILL POWER. You can say "no thanks" and go on about your business. Yes, it can be extremely difficult but you can to learn to overcome it some way. Sometimes you do give in, just buckle down and work it off and try to resist better next time.

    And it's not only guys who "sabotage", I started my weight loss journey months before my wife. I had to deal with all the temptation from her and my step-son. It drove me crazy for alittle bit but I overcame it. You can do it as well. Anybody can, it's all a matter of how badly do you want to succeed and are you willing to sacrifice to accomplish your goal.
  • chels0722
    chels0722 Posts: 465 Member
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    Just say no. Maybe even add a thank you to the end of that. Boom. Done. Situation avoided.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    I do have to take issue with the title of the thread though, "why do men sabotage wife or girlfriends weight loss". For one, many men (some are even on here) are working on their own weight loss. For two, many men are very supportive of their wives or girlfriend's weight loss, mine included.

    This as well. Not all men are trying to keep their wife/girlfriend overweight by sabotaging their efforts.

    A lot of men are incredibly supportive like the above poster pointed out or trying to reach their own weight loss goals.

    My husband is very supportive of my efforts.

    Your title groups all men into the not supportive, sabotaging group which is definatley not true.

    Hey, not all of us are supportive! I could use some sabotage tips if anyone has some. Seriously, please throw a guy a bone here! Oh, wait, wrong terminology?
  • BrownEyeAngel
    BrownEyeAngel Posts: 331 Member
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    He is worried if you get that sexy body, other men will start to notice you more. Jealousy! But us women can be the same way towards our men.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    I hate it when my man friend sits on me and shoves food in my mouth. Now, putting bologna in my mouth is one thing. or tube steak. But just random food is quite another.
  • sakuragreenlily
    sakuragreenlily Posts: 334 Member
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    Politely offering to share something is one thing; holding it in someone's face after they've already said no is an entirely different thing. :(

    Exactly. Glad someone said it... I was thinking no one actually read the OP's entire post there for a second...
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,052 Member
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    Because Guys prefer girls with curves
  • bethanytowell
    bethanytowell Posts: 256 Member
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    my husband still eats pretty bad but i try to eat my own food and let him have his. maybe one day he will decide to change but he is fine the way he is. to each their own.
  • SeaJenni
    SeaJenni Posts: 211 Member
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    Since you asked "why" he does it, and did not ask how you should feel about it or what you should do about it, I will only address "why" I think he does it. He is insecure. He thinks if you get hot that you will become out of his league and leave him for somebody in your new improved league status. What he doesn't realize is that it is his lack of support that will make you leave, not his or your fitness level. He will probably never get it. My prediction is: Either his insecurities will exhaust you and you will leave, which he will forever blame on you for "changing" and/or "getting stuck-up" about being in shape, and his next girlfriend will be huge, or... you will resign to staying at the fitness level that is most comfortable for him. That is, until you resent him for it and leave.

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